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Archive for the Celebrity Category

2014

24

Oct

Maria Menounos Does Yoga Poses of the Day


Maria Menounos puts a lot of work and effort into making herself a celebrity. I guess after talking about celebrities for a long time on a shitty celebrity gossip TV show that she ended up on because she was trying to be a celebrity of her own – and it was the only gig she got – has helped her craft a bottom feeding strategy to become a reality star in her own right…

You know, pushing her fitness, her ass, her nonsense staged paparazzi pics…

And I still think her best work was the day HER PUSSY SLIP Happened in 2011

I just think this Yoga “look at me I’m Maria Menounos, a star in trailer parks around America”…is dull and if anyone pushing 40 wants to really deliver…they should focus on their outty vagina we’ve all seen – even when they are greek and the word vagina directly relates to Anus…

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Posted in:Maria Menounos

2014

23

Oct

Lindsay Lohan Topless Panty Selfie Pic of the Day

Lindsay Lohan posted a topless selfie – that was strategic enough to show off her nipples – while wearing some panties – in what I still consider highly erotic because Lohan may have a legacy for having been a troubled girl exploited by her own horrible family…broken, rude, and tormented with a an addiction…you know tabloid fodder no one actually cared about…others may think her legacy is a bunch of really shitty movies she acted exactly the same in…but I think her legacy is having a great set of implants that have carried her through being malnourished and half dead – to being chubby – probably a gift from her mom after they made their first million with her at 14 – because it would help her career…and I guess what I am saying is that she should be showing more of them – always – because that is what matters…at least when it comes to Lindsay Lohan.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

22

Oct

Lindsay Lohan Falls on Her Face of the Day

Lindsay Lohan fell.

It brought me great joy.

She’s been falling for the last 10 years, on the regular, if you were to google it you’d see her falling all over the place. Maybe her meds, drugs, drinking, starving herself make her dizzy, maybe she can’t handle the heels, I mean the one and only time I spent the night with her – she fell on her fucking face…but I didn’t see her drink, she just locked herself in the bedroom with her friend Juliette and railed enough cocaine to kill a small animal, but not enough cocaine to think that dancing to her music album in her heels and pajama pants was a bad idea….those were the days…2009…when I peaked..it’s been all downhill since…5 years of emptiness…but at least there’s still Lohan, living, alive, falling…amazing…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2014

22

Oct

Alessandra Ambrosio Takes a Selfie of the Day

There’s something magical about seeing people taking selfies shamelessly in public. It’s just part of our culture and it happens almost everywhere you go. It’s the internet turning you into the inner narcissist you’ve always been. Forcing you to think people care about where you are, what you are doing, or every little bullshit thing you see….or think…it’s like a 24/7 reality show starring you..and I totally find it boring – until it ends in nudes and sex tapes…in which case…I find it amazing…

So here’s Alessandra, bikini model, taking a selfie, because she doesn’t do enough photoshoots, she isn’t on camera enough, and she needs to turn the camera on herself…you see because the people of instagram are just sitting there waiting to like the shit.

The world is fucking crazy….

Feeling the elements ?????????? #glamz @justinpurdue @kaylamichelehair #aunaturel #beautybythebeach #fashion

A photo posted by alessandraambrosio (@alessandraambrosio) on

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Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2014

22

Oct

Anne Hathaway is Gothic and Dark of the Day

Anne Hathaway went to an event dressed like a Goth and I only really noticed because I like that everyone hates Anne Hathaway – enough that it makes her dress like a cutter…weirdo who you know is trying to draw attention to themselves with their weirdo horror obsession…so dark and suburban…

But more importantly, I like that more thought went into this outfit and look, than her Oscar winning performance that wasn’t Oscar winning worthy in Les Miserables…all she did was cut her hair and cry people…I mean every white girl who gets a bad hair cut cries…it was zero special…

Anyway – here she is being Halloween.

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Posted in:Anne Hathaway

2014

22

Oct

Ashley Tisdale’s Married Parking Ticket in Ripped Jeans Porn of the Day

Here’s a very very very specific fetish for you Ashley Tisdale fetishists, you know the assholes who bought into her marketing program and believed she was actually the hottest girl on the Kids Show your creepy ass was forced to watch, or watched as a guilty pleasure because it made you cum.

It’s her recently married ass in ripped jeans getting a parketing ticket…

You know something you’d think was too obscure to get a hard on for….but that you know that somewhere out there lives a man, probably a parking ticket cop, who gets off to this shit…and I guess that’s why she’s doing it…

You know at this stage in the game – she’s got to take any male attention she can get since it’s pretty much over for her..

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Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2014

22

Oct

Top 10 Kate Hudson Lives of the Day

My favorite thing that Kate Hudson has done in her career, is not these old lady breast implants – we can all assume she got….

It’s not any of her shitty movies she proved that acting required little no talent to be a part of…

It’s not her teen pregnancy – with some older dude – to give hope to older dudes everywhere that if they are rich enough they can trap some 19 year old broken hollywood baby to have your baby….

It’s not even that she rolled through every dude in Hollywood, probably starting at a young age thanks to her Goldie Hawn access…you know filling the emptiness of being a celebrity baby with cock…

It’s that she drove Owen Wilson to attempted suicide, at least that’s what the rumor was…I mean that’s some seriosuly powerful, psychotic, mind fucking pussy…but maybe I just can’t relate since I don’t have feelings…but if I did – I highly doubt any loose woman would lead me to jump..proving that either actors are broken and weak people – or that Kate Hudson’s addictive as fuck..

Either way, she lives, and so do her tits, as she pushes 40.

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Posted in:Kate Hudson

2014

21

Oct

Renee Zellweger’s Face of the Day

I am pretty amazed that anyone cares about Rennee Zellweger’s face modification procedures that have made her more human-like. If anything we should be celebrating the fact that she has eyes….This picture has gone viral and people everywhere are talking about how different she looks…or how she terrorized her face, when I don’t see much of a difference, because all I see is wrinkles, and wrinkles are my sign to stop lookin’….I just know that this is better than the alien inbred that was….

I was never clear on how she got cast for anything other than the inbred, monster in a horror movie. There have been times that she was the leading lady ore even the love interet and that’s just twisted as fuck…especially when thinking about the old her and wondering why she would ever leave the house without a mask…

So I think whatever is going on here – is a good thing…but at the same time…who gives a fuck…where are the spread asshole pics.

Posted in:Renee Zellweger

2014

20

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass in Jean Shorts of the Day

In totally uninteresting news…Kim Kardashian wore a pair of ridiculously tight cut off jean shorts with some backless shirt, that made me really question why her ass and the implants she clearly has are celebrated, or why anyone would want to really stick their dick in this skin diaper looking science experiment gone wrong…it also made me question how the hell she even got herself into these…I feel like watching her get dressed would be a lot like watching my wife put on shoes…a real struggle…because when you’re obese even in target areas like Kim K…the struggle is real..

All this say, she’s a pornstar who achieved mainstream success – Aka an inspiration to girls everywhere who send me nudes – so I don’t hate her…I just hate this ass.

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Posted in:Kim Kardashian