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Archive for the Celebrity Category

2013

Jun

Mariah Carey is on a Boat in a Bikini of the Day

Mariah Carey was on a boat, and despite what the date her birth certificate suggests….she got into a bikini…

I wonder if this is another example of her manic episodes that I thought Nick Cannon and their twins helped get under control…

Or maybe, this is all thanks to the meds making her feel good about herself, and at the top of her game and sex appeal, even though pushing 40 usually requires a little more of a one-piece…or even an 1890s style swimming outfit…

Luckily for her, all I see is titties in a white bikini, and that shit excites me proper.

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Posted in:Mariah Carey

2013

Jun

Jessica Alba for the Sunday Times of the Day

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Jessica Alba was in the Sunday Times and she looked pretty fucking lovely, despite not being naked enough for my liking, she’s Jessica Alba, and has never been naked enough for my liking, she always knew she was hot, and always knew that getting naked would end her appeal, so she never fucking did it. I just assumed falling off the map and having a couple of kids would have made her more desperate, only instead of taking any job she can get, now more naked because she’s eager to get back in the limelight, or even to establish herself as an actor now that she’s more comfortable being spread out on a table in front of a room full of people thanks to child birth…

But instead she took the Martha’s Stewart route…you know if Martha Stewart wore evening gowns on tennis courts..

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2013

Jun

Shakira’s Breasts Aren’t Small and Humble in Elle of the Day

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Shakira is in the recent issue of Elle and it’s not all that eventful, but maybe I am just bias and don’t really like celebrating new moms, under any circumstance, and if I feel the need to look at Shakira pictures, I’ll go back to her booty shaking tweak videos from before she was a pregnant cow….

The only reason I am bothering with these is because she’s showing off cleavage, an new addition to her body thanks to being a pregnant cow, all full of milk, and I guess she made the point of saying her breasts were small and humble, that you can’t confuse them for mountains in one of her hit songs, well that’s still true, but they are bigger than they used to be, and she seems pretty happy about that…

If you need more reason to hate Shakira, you can tune into the Voice, where she plays a latino version of Christina Aguilera, even though Aguilera pretends she’s latino, only Shakira, is a few bra sizes smaller than that cow…but equally annoying.

Posted in:Shakira

2013

Jun

Kanye West Using Kardashians in Promoting his Album of the Day

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Kanye is promoting his new album Yeezus, by having his daughter with fame whore Kim Kardashian the day it was slated to be released. He also pulled a sex scandal 3 days before it released. Dude knows what he’s doing…every move is calculated for his empire…But what I don’t understand a few things…mainly why he would cast his brother-in-law in a promo video of his album doing some American Psycho act with another one of Kim Kardashian’s homies…

I mean I get that he’s Hollywood, and forever locked into that horrible family, but he probably should publicly acknowledge it, it can’t be good with keeping things hip hop, even if hip hop is all hollywood pop now…if I was him I’d play the deadbeat dad role…or maybe I woulda accidentally punched the pig woman in the stomach a few times…or staged a car accident to rid the world of her like a real YEEZUS would.

Here’s one of his new songs called Black Skinhead and love him or hate him, and wish bad things on his baby momma or not, dude knows how to make good music…

Posted in:Kanye West

2013

Jun

Cameron Diaz is Insecure Next to Kate Upton of the Day

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When you are old and tired and your body has seen better days, even if you’re still ripped, and you still get complimented on it all the fucking time, you generally don’t go parade yourself half naked next to a young bitch, especially if you’re an insecure acting twat who is trying to deny being old as fuck.

It’s just natural, to put on that shirt like the fat pasty chick at the watermark, to not put yourself in a position to be seriously compared, analyzed and dissected, even if you have eyes and see just how dumpy as fuck Kate Upton is…

You know every night before bed, as Cameron Diaz has an enema, does squats, and sit ups, knowing she’ll be shooting another beach scene, she tells herself “why is that young busty pig getting so much attention, she’s disgusting up close, I’m way hotter, healthier and what a body should look like”…but she doesn’t believe it…cuz she’s old as fuck and that makes her feel inadequate…and sure those inadequacies mean we don’t get to see her in a bikini, but they probably mean you could have sex with her if you gave her a little attention at the hotel bar she’s drinking her sorrows at, because that’s how old as fuck women operate, and I kinda love them for that…and the menopause!! No babies!

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF CAMERON DIAZ AND KATE UPTON ON SET
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Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Kate Upton

2013

Jun

Serena Williams Scary Bikini Pic of the Day

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Serena Williams has some pretty big tits in her bikini top. I would expected her to have pecs.

You see cuz I am convinced that in a few years, some DNA testing will take place, and we will find out that the Williams sisters were in fact just like Amanda Bynes in “She’s the Man”….only the opposite.

I’m talking scandal about whether they are actually women, or just some hormonally altered hybrid gender that is trained to kill at least on the tennis courts.

I don’t find these girls attractive, probably because I am not a homosexual closeted, who needs tits on my trannies as a gateway to gay sex….

They’re big, they’re intimidating, they are champion, and one of them is in a bikini.

I can’t figure out if that’s a good thing or not, but I’m posting it anyway.

Posted in:Serena Williams

2013

Jun

Adriana Lima For Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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Thanks to the photoshop and the team of experts at Victoria’s Secret, they have made Adriana Lima, despite being 100 fucking years old, and mom, look the looks the fucking same as she has in every other shoot she’s done for them, like these are possibly from their archive that they are keeping around for contract purposes, or maybe they are new, based on the fact that they crop her from the ravaged mom stomach up…

I mean they’ve also made her look like every single other Victoria’s Secret shoot, their shit is getting old and tired like Lima, and every catalog is starting to feel like an old pussy you keep fucking cuz it is there….which isn’t a good thing…but here are the pics anyway..

TO SEE PICS OF HER AT SOME VICTORIA’S SECRET EVENT LOOKING OLD….
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Posted in:Adriana Lima

2013

Jun

Vanessa Hudgens in some Panty Photoshoot of the Day

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Vanessa Hudgens is modelling in her underwear….and I can’t see past the fact that she looks like a hairy little monkey…even when half naked…I am happy that she’s taken the time to shave herself down, unlike the time when she took nude pics when she was 17 for the internet…

It’s nice to see how much she’s grown and progressed as a useless Disney Starlet into this….whatever this may be…

Who cares.

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2013

Jun

Rihanna Instagrams Her Favorite Slutty Concert Pics of the Day

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Rihanna posted these pics on instagram, even though we all know it is not actually Rihanna who is posting these pics to instagram, but it is her handlers who run her shit, because she is a business, a brand, and empire, and some uneducated trash from Barbados is just not capable of handling the shit, she’s more about being the dancing monkey on stage, not because she’s black, but because they give her money, and it allows her to be the most important person in Barbados and that works for her small minded hustle….

But it is nice to see what her people think are her best, most representative images of the slut, even though I’m sure they all hate her, and would want to post the pics of her spread asshole, but the economy is shit, the job is too good, and they get to brag about being associated with such greatness, because the world is full of groupies…

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

Jun

Reese Witherspoon is Mooning You of the Day

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Reese Witherspoon is disgusting…so seeing her brat ass being flashed to the paparazzi like they were the Police and she was being arrested for hard drinking and driving and being an uncooperative cunt, is pretty much up her redneck new money alley, but it’s so unfortunate that it happened, I mean seeing so much lumpy flesh on the street is far past it’s expiration date. In fact, Reese Witherspoon, even at her peak, was a lumpy pile of fleshy shit, but the good news is that unlike sexy clothes on drunk or medicated women, this shit is a surefire rape deterrent, so I am gonna assume that’s what being done here…scientific research, like the clamp/claw/blade female condom that bites unwelcome cock, the hollywood bare ass edition.

Horrible.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2013

Jun

Lauren Conrad’s Doing Marie Claire of the DAy

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Lauren Conrad is not dead, despite what MTV wants you to think, you know with the whole cancelling the show she was the focal point of, that at the time was over-exposed and irritating, but now, a few years later feels like it never happened, unless of course you are Lauren Conrad, in which case it is all that you’ve ever done that matters.

Apparently, she has a fashion line and a series of books, but I’m more interested in her series of boobs, even when wondering why Marie Claire is doing this fashion spread on her, it just doesn’t make sense…like the dlisters die with the vehicles that made them dlisters. That’s what I say, but no one ever listens to me.

Posted in:Lauren Conrad

2013

Jun

Rihanna’s Instagram Erotica of the Day

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I can’t help but get excited about booty cleavage. I know it’s everywhere, and every time I leave the house 12 year olds – 40 year olds are rocking it like they were wearing a skimpy bikini, even though they are at the grocery store…I see it every day, and a lot of the time it is on girls who have no business wearing the shit, but even at that, I get sucked the fuck in.

So seeing Rihanna post some ass cheek to the internet, something that 10 years ago would have been considered porn, cuz ghetto girls back then were more about hiking their g-string up to their neck and their pants as low rise as possible, not this kind of 70s erotica gear…makes me happy.

But then I remember she was a child prostitute in Barbados at 14 according to various sources, and I feel like I failed knowing I could have bed her for 50 bucks pre-fame.

Her instagram brings up so many mixed emotions. Here are the pics.

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

Jun

Hayden Panettiere Has the Best Body According to US Weekly of the Day

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Seems like breast implants make all the difference for a bitch…from weird thick body to the best body according to a magazine that has not journalistic integrity because it is paid for and run by the Hollywood machine, whether it is PR people, or the studios who make these people famous….

So the life lesson of the day is, if you’re tits are disproportionate, you can pay to fix them, and the world will celebrate you the way you always wanted to be celebrated….at least that’s what I’ve learned from these feature. Thanks US Weekly for making girls feel inadequate.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere

2013

Jun

Hayden Panettiere Does the Emily Ratakowski of the Day

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In the event you don’t remember the unrated “Blurred Lines” video for a song by Alan Thicke Jr and Pharrell Williams, here it is:

Well, Hayden Panettiere, decided to jump into the mix and do some awkward dancing like my favorite set of tits I write poetry for, even though she pretends I don’t exist, as most people do with their creepy stalkers….

She tried to twerk….because twerking is the future of white people dances, even though the darks have been doing it forever…

And I’m into it, but only because it reminds me of the day Emily Ratatatatatatatakowski and I first met, I mean she wasn’t actually there, but pictures of her tits were, and it’s been pretty consuming ever since, I mean as consuming as an ADD ridden pervert who likes all pussy, can be….

It is about 3 minutes in.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere

2013

Jun

Rihanna is Braless in Paris of the Day

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Rihanna is so worldly…so cultured….from teen hooker…to globetrotter, using her riches for the benefit of no one but herself and her entourage, fuck the starving kids in Africa, if they want this level of fame and fortune, they can go out and suck dick like they were Rihanna to get it. There’s no handouts here motherfuckers.

But there are nipples. thanks to a tight shirt and no bra, something I like to look at , intensely, until the girl gets uncomfortable about the shit, and puts a sweater on, every time I come across it….or on it…if I’m quick enough.

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Posted in:Rihanna