I hear that Mariah is trying to get pregnant so that people don’t ask why her gut is so big and she figures that in another 20 years, she’ll be able to use her kid to meet new potential husbands (yes that was a bad cougar joke, it happens), unfortunately her menopausal pussy is makin’ it hard for this grandma’ that woulda been if she followed her destiny as being a half black chick from the projects, instead of getting all into herself thinking she can have a career singing 20 years ago, to get knocked up, so she’ll just have to keep showing up to events in bigger and bigger belts to cover her fuckin’ shit up and strap it fucking in.
I’ve always said that Amy Winehouse is probably the hottest rotting pussy in the entertainment world, the worst smelling naked chick around, the kind of girl who reminds you of those horrible nights when you are drunk, have a itch that needs to get scratched in your pants, and you decide to let the drug addicted prostitute do it in a back alley only to make you think you have AIDS for the next 6 months until you can afford to do it again, so when I saw pictures of her fat tits busting out of a corset, I had no choice but to get excited, because nothing really gets me going anymore and this is one of the things that does…
I like fat chicks because they are easy, you know because of all that competing with the good looking girl, that makes them willing to go above and beyond while never commanding respect, a relationship or pretty much anything but for you to pull out because her mom won’t let her get on the pill.
I don’t think Jessica Simpson is one of those kinds of fat chicks, since she’s busty and not offensively fat, but she is a budding country music star playing a barn near year and I’ve seen Brokeback Mountain, I know how that Cowboy shit works out, you know leaving you dead in NYC after a prescription drug overdose…
Jessica Simpson’s still out trying to be Dolly Parton and this time she did it wearing a corset as a shirt under some cowboy shit and that’s something I am down with because I like seeing girls in lingerie and the only chance I really have is when they use that shit as outerwear. It’s the kind of shit that leads to public masturbation and is a good defense to rape, because if she’s in her underwear it’s like she’s saying yes despite her cries asking you to stop.
I was walking outside earlier and came across a dude who looked like he thought he just got raped, he was screaming bloody murder, and begging for the pain to stop and everyone just kinda looked at him wondering what the fuck was going on for 10 minutes as he ran around in hysterics. No one had the balls to ask him what was going on and I didn’t care enough to get involved, but seeing a dude freak out that curl up in the fetal position at 10 am screaming and crying, isn’t really the kind of dude I want to grab a beer with. The cops finally showed up, because I guess one of the suits in the area didn’t feel comfortable with the whole thing and they took him away and I assume sent him to the psych ward but it made for an entertaining experience, one probably more exciting that a Jessica Simpson concert because it’s been proven time and time again that her hot tits just don’t make up for her shitty songs, but when shit’s in picture and we don’t have to deal with her offensive voice, I have no issue staring and you shouldn’t either.
Lydia Hearst was one of the lucky girls who got to go to the Sex in the CIty premiere. It could be because she’s a rich kid model, but I am thinking it’s probably because her family owns the rights to the show or maybe the theatre shit’s being shown in and it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that she’s wearing some lingerie as outerwear and saw something about how Sarah Jessica Parker was the first to make the bra a fashion item on this bullshit show, that I didn’t notice because I was too busy not looking at Sarah Jessica Parker because she’s fuckin’ ugly.
The problem with this show is that girls everywhere use it as some inspirational life coaching that they think represents real life. They think ignoring long term relationships and focusing on their careers while having random sexual encounters in some quest to find themselves will be fun and will all work out in the end for them because it does on the show. The truth is that the show was written by a fag and it’s his take on how women should be more like gays, because gays think their way is the right way, but the difference is that gays always find someone willing to fuck them because sex to gays is a primal need so long term relationships for them just don’t make sense, so as long as they are alive, they will always have someone to fuck. Women on the other hand age and if they aren’t locked down by a certain age, get replaced by younger models because dudes who like sluts tend to go for the better lookin’ ones because sluts are all about sex and not settling down and no one wants to marry a slut, we just like to fuck them, but not so much when they hit menopause, turning the slut into an old hag. So these successful women end up unhappy because they get stuck with losers because only losers would settle for a chick who’s had more cock than a chicken farmer.
That’s why watching these old slags slut out on their quest to find love while spending all their money on expensive shoes gives girls annoys me because I know it is ruining a generation of women by skewing their morals and values to one that leads to a miserable existence. The only good thing about this shit is that it confuses girls into thinking one night stands are empowering and that works for me because it makes getting in, doing the job and getting out a hell of a lot easier when the bitch doesn’t call back. Not that I’ve ever had a problem with having girls call me back, they usually are more into pretending shit never happened.
BONUS: Here are a couple of the washed up weathered cunts that women everywhere turn to as their independent woman inspirational leaders
I’ve taken shits hotter than Tori Spelling and I have some kind of liver failure shit that I never got checked out that fucks up my digestion, not that you care, but I figured I’d throw it out there so that you know that my bloody yellow stool is better put together than this bitch.
She hosted some Pussycat Doll show in Vegas and by looking at these pictures she looks like she’s better suited to host a tranny show in some seedy gay club that the tranny’s don’t even bother checking out because they’d rather sit at home and do their hair.
I was at a strip club and saw some bitch who looked a lot like Tori Spelling, only her tits were about 10 times the size, she was one of those fetish type of girls who was raped growing up and is taking reactive measures to deal with the pain of having her innocence taken. I’m talking tits so big bitch was a fucking cartoon character and when she took off my friends hat, and covered her tit with it, shit barely covered her insanely huge nipples. One of the many things better about this girl than Tori Spelling is that her pussy was pierced shut with some serious metal clasps and cages that made her look like she had a dick in her panties, but when it came off just brought home the fact that no dick was getting in that shit and no baby was coming out….Unfortunately for us, Tori obviously doesn’t have that proven by the fact that she just had a baby, and now some poor kids gotta grow up with a mom as embarrassing as this.