Janice Dickinson doesn’t need a bullshit reason to party like July Fourth, this bitch looks like she’s always half in the bag, at least that’s the vibe I get every time I look at pictures of her, which is as often as possible, because crazy ex-models with fake tits and a coke addiction are kind of my fetish, I like the uncertainty of whether you’re going to walk in up them getting gangbanged by 12 black men, or them crying while banging their head into a lamp post on the street corner, but I may just be reading into things a little too much, you know, since I know nothing about her and don’t really care to get to know about her, I’d rather imagine her vagina that’s been explored by many before me, and probably smells like a girl with an eating disorder’s stomach breath.
Here is that pretty irrelevant actress who gets cast in shitty movies you would probably only watch at 5 in the morning after coming home alone wasted when it’s on TV and you’re lying in bed and too lazy to go to the computer and figure your best chance to get off is a story about a Playboy bunny becoming a Sorority girl, only to wake up 10 hours later, still drunk with your underwear around your ankles and your dick still in hand, with random memories of the night before, coming in wasted and alone because the girl who was dancing provocatively didn’t go home with you and trying to jerk yourself to sleep to some shitty B movie, but unsure if you ever finished. That’s the kind of girl Anna Faris is and here she is showing off her pussy in a pair of period shorts.
Here are some pictures of Kim Kardashian not actually grabbing her crotch, because you know if she did, the smell that would radiate the room would cuz some Rodney King riots and no one needs that race war over pussy right now.
I will get the Gay Blogger his very own login one-day soon, but in the meantime I am forced to write a shitty intro to let you all know that he’s here to make me famous because gay is trendy and because gay bloggers are even more trendy. His name is Julien and this is his magic sauce on Gillian Anderson trying to be sexy with the word Yes next to her, probably in efforts to trick us into thinking we want a piece, when in reality all we really want is that set of tits on the wall behind her in our face…either way here’s Julien.
You know when people try to be sexy but it just doesnâ€™t work? I think this is one of those cases. I mean if you described to me the elements of this photo, take Gillian Anderson, make her look like a chic drug addict and then spread her legs, I would be like, yeahâ€¦I know a few people who could jerk off to that. But why did she have to have that giant metal S between her legs? I just donâ€™ think that worked. Now, being a flaming homosexual, Iâ€™m probably not the best person to judge, but I really think that only die-hard X-Files fans are going to aroused by these pics.
Itâ€™s like how everyone thinks because Iâ€™m gay that Iâ€™ll fuck any gay person that walks. While this is 90% true, there is still that 10% that I wouldnâ€™t fuck. Like this one time, Marie-Eve had made some friend that she thought would just be PERFECT for me and I was kind of a slow week, so I agreed to meet him. I didnâ€™t want to go on an actual blind date, Iâ€™m not a 30 something, chubby, single girl (at least not yet). So I agreed to meet him at this party that everyone was going to. So Iâ€™m at the party, just starting to get a little fucked up and this guy walk in. He had a nice body, an ok face but for some goddamn reason he was wearing a fucking mesh tank top. I hate mesh tank tops. Some faggot must have sent out a memo saying that these things are fashionable. But believe me they arenâ€™t. It was a total deal breaker. I took one look at this guy and I laughed and walked away to find more blow.
The point of this tale of faggotry is that the elements of this guy were there but there was just something off. I mean if he had just planned his outfit a little better, he couldâ€™ve totally boned me that night. But unfortunately he chose to wear a mesh tank top. He might as well have shown up with a giant metal S between his legs.