Esquire got a hoit model in her underwear and I didn’t…so here’s their video and not my video because the only person I seem capable getting in their underwear is me and if that is a struggle and probably doesn’t smell or look this good……
Archive for the Dance Category
Shakira was on America’s Got Talent a few days ago, because apparently you don’t need to be American to be the guest on the show, and she did her stupid dance every motherfucker is masturbating to, despite how fucking awkward lookin’ the shit is. The only reason I am posting this is because I just got on the computer and I am trying to buy time, it’s not because I think she’s got talent…
My computer is running like fucking shit. I was going to say pure shit, but the idea of shit being anything but pure made me feel sick to my stomach, so while I sort this motherfucker out, here’s a little Holly Madison doing her bullshit Dancing With the Stars whore dance.
I always randomly end up on sites or get sent photobucket albums of creeps who scour the internet for videos of 15 year old girls dancing and acting like 15 year old girls and shit’s fuckin creepy. I have reported many Youtube accounts to the FBI and to Youtube because sometimes their “favorite” videos are way too fucking inapproriate. I guess I’m an asshole like that, but I just believe a girl should be naked on the internet unless she’s 18, naked in my bed while I don’t ask for ID proof of her age because who needs to ruin a good thing with the sad fucking truth, at the back of my mind know that meeting her at a 15th birthday party at the McDonald’s playroom and the whole school girl outfit she is wearing is probably a solid giveaway but who I am to make those kinds of judgements, who says she’s not 18.
It’s legal in Canada but wrong in internet video so I wonder why Disney released this video of them dancing around like the videos so many perverts watch, oh right, cuz they sexualize these girls and turn them into sluts by 14, I forgot, it’s all part of their business plans and their parents sold their souls by signing the dotted fucking line….
Unfortunately for you, it doesn’t end with a dick in any of their orifices.
On a side note, I wonder if they licensed all these songs, or if they are illegal downloads. If they aren’t paying royalties on this shit, someone needs to arrest these motherfuckers.
After writing this website for years, I finally convinced a girl to get naked and do a video dancing for me. I started the site hoping to get girls topless, that didn’t work out too well for me, but in the back of my mind, I always thought someone would be willing to take her top off for me, but that didn’t work out for me either, because it turns out people don’t give a shit about useless sites, but that all changed today with this AMAZING video of Vivid Star Meggan Mallone doing a little dance for us topless.
The video was sent in by the people at Vivid to show me they care, it is directed by porn producer/director Shylar Cobi and I feel like I just won the lottery and that all this typing actually had a fuckin’ point. Yes, tits are enough for me, I have low expectations….so take that every teacher and ex girlfriend who told me I was wasting my time and that I was destined to failure. To think all these years, I believed you, or pretended to to justify my drinking…
Either way, this is just a Christmas miracle…I guess Santa does exist and isn’t just some creepy dude at the mall….
Either way, watch this hot/funny video to brighten up your day….Here’s the SFW Version….
Here are some older pics of her because she’s hot….and I am in love….
And Check Out More on Viivd Because They Own The Porn Industry….and Gave Me This Gift…..
I won the lottery today. FUCK ALL OF YOU, I QUIT …..it’s a pretty fucking amazing day, considering I never win shit in my life and today I took my 1 dollar scratch and win to the store to get checked out and the bells rang on the machine. I dropped to the ground praising the real Jesus for putting me through this struggle, only as a test to live until this day, where I can take my money, throw my computer out the window and fly far away, change my name so my wife can’t find me and spend the rest of my short life sitting on a beach with local women massaging my feet while drunk, that’s when I came to and found out that I only won a dollar, so in reality, I only broke even and didn’t actually win shit, but it was a good start….because for the first time in my life I didn’t actually lose….
I guess that’s kinda how the people who watched Live with Regis and Kathy Lee the Kelly Ripa Edition this morning feel, they got to see her trying to live up to her 12 year old girl body and hip hop dance with the Knicks dancers, to some pop music, with some skimpy outfit on, showing off her really skinny body, making the Knicks dancers look fat, but since her tenth kid, has gone through some hormonal change leaving her pretty much titless, making the whole thing a beak even situation….not too good and not too bad…just nice and balanced….enjoy….if you can see past the shitty quality of the weird Ripa fan’s video….
Here’s another part of her training…
I don’t really know who this chick is because I don’t have TV and if I did I wouldn’t watch the virgin channel, but it’s video of the host of Attack of the Show Olivia Munn dancing around with dead fish. Sure it’s not all that seductive seeing as she’s wearing clothes and not inserting those creatures of the sea in her cunt, but it’s a good enough way to start the day and it’s a nice change of pace from the Japanese rotting fish vomit porn I usually try to wake up to, because it’s nice and wholesome and safe for TV and not contraband in most countries…..
Either way, if you’re a virgin loser, which you are, you probably are already married to this chick in your fantasies and this video will probably piss you off because she’s blatantly cheating on you..even if the fish is dead…and slutting it up for the cameras without your approval..for all of us to see and that’s the kind of shit that should make you mad enough to get on a bus and ride down to the west coast to break into her house, strip down, crawl into her bed and wait to surprise her when she gets home, by shouting “Honey, I’m home” while stroking your erection before locking her in the basement and performing a ritual wedding you invented against her will before getting arrested and sent away…..Watch the stupid video.
Britney Spears has taken her crazy dancing and in doing that she’s decided to dance with her pants off….I remember a time when everyone freaked out because she was seen smoking a cigarette and now we’re so desensitized by her that she could be taking a shit while trying to shove one of her kids back into her uterus and we’d all just expect it. I am pretty sure that Britney’s just trying to stay in the limelight and has created her own demise in craving attention and pulling stunts to get that attention that’s just gone on too long…in a couple of months Britney will probably still be out doing retarded shit, but the rest of us who are already tied of her will have moved onto other things…like hiring cheap hooker, but that’s just because when they wear fishnets, it’s to keep their battered stinky vagina’s in place like that time you had to strap your drunk closed because the latch was broken and you couldn’t afford to fix it, which is why them keeping it in their pants is ok with us because we can only afford the 5 dollar back alley blowjob…no battered vagina required….
Here are some pictures of Britney that hit yesterday but I didn’t bother posting them because they were tagged to shit from whoever took the pictures, so I am posting them now, a day late. I think Britney is fucking awesome, not because she’s a wreck and making huge money off being a wreck or because she’s not talented and her new album is robotic as fuck and still number 1 everywhere even though it doesn’t sound like her, but because she’s an exhibitionist and gets naked all the fucking time. I think hanging out with Britney would be a lot cheaper than hanging out at a strip club, even though it seems that a big part of Britney wishes she was hanging out with you at a strip club as one of the dancers. I really don’t have much more to say other than I hope she is influencing today’s youth to help brighten my future, because there’s nothing like watching a dirty girl cleaning and dancing in some skimpy bikini and makes me wish I could afford some nude cleaning service, even though those nude girls don’t do a very good job cleaning, but my house smells like my wife’s dirty underwear and it’s making me sick to my stomach.