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Archive for the Dancing With the Stars Category

2010

04

Mar

Nicole Scherzinger Has a Purse Holder of the Day

The Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger has a hired assistant who looks like a man who she carts around with her to make herself feel better about herself, you know a paid person you can treat like shit and make feel like they are a fucking worthless nobody who depend on you to live the goodlife or to have access to the goodlife, so that it is in her best interest to eat your shit, or else you’ll send them back where they belong, and little stunts like making the manly lookin’ assistant carry her purse out of events is just a little trick in dominance to let her assistant and the world know her place, because Scherzinger is not on the top of the charts anymore, and she knows that she can still buy that superstar feeling of everyone sucking her dick, now that she’s got the taste for it and this is just the proof….cuz we all know Scherzinger’s not too busy or too tired to carry her own purse….pretty obnoxious.

Here are some pics of her doing some Dancing with the Stars training, which is pretty much proof that she’s a latch on nobody who doesn’t have the right to be such a high maintenance cunt….

Pics via PacificCoastNews
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Cunt|Dancing With the Stars|High Maintenance|Nicole Scherzinger

2009

15

Oct

Joanna Krupa Dancing Ass With Dancing Men of the Day

Here are some pictures of Joanna Krupa in an almost hot dress that I’ve had lying around the last couple of days. If you don’t remember her, she was some bottom feeder model and actor who some how managed to get on Dancing With The Stars, a show that normally goes after has-beens, but that her people went after for her, because it will be the single biggest thing in her career, I mean except the American cock she sucked when she was 5 and moved to America.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Joanna Krupa

2009

14

Oct

Shakira on Dancing with the Stars of the Day

I hate Shakira. Not only is her command of the english language shitty, but she sings in some weird tribal chant that shoulda been forgotten in Columbia where they appreciate that shit cuz they are all jacked on cocaine.

She did some Bollywood rip off performance that should offend India because it sucked and she shaked her ass because I guess that’s all she’s good for. I am really not diggin’ this at all, but then again why would I, this show is targeted to gay dudes and I guess this was for them, and I’m posting it for you because you haven’t accepted the fact that you’re gay yet. I’, just doin’ my part.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Shakira

2009

13

Oct

Mya on Dancing With the Stars is Getting Desperate of the Day

Here is a clip from what I assume is last night’s Dancing with the Stars because I don’t own a TV and if I did it wouldn’t be set to some dancing show not matter how much of a mail order bride cock tease who won’t fuck you unless you pay her enough and promise her citizenship on your Russian vacation Karina Smirnoff is but I assume they are trying to keep things fresh, because Mya was doing the Lambada and everyone knows that the Lambada is the forbidden dance and that means it’s meant to go down in small Brazilian town and not on national TV, not that I am that offended by its misrepresentation, or because the entertainment industry ruins all that is sacred to me, because the lambada is not sacred to me, but because where I always thought Lamabada meant dirty, condomless penetration to music, and now I’m forced to realize I was wrong.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Lambada|Mya

2009

10

Mar

Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff Rock Dancing With the Stars of the Day

I want to fuck Karina Smirnoff, sure she hasn’t got the hottest face of all time, but bitch looks like she fucks like a machine. She’s a trained dancer and wears sheer dresses and moves like a goddess. I have only fucked a trained dancer once and I remember it being pretty legendary because I could just sit back while she popped and locked and whatever other dance moves she had in her catalog on my cock, her body tight and her stamina better than mine.

The point is that I watched Dancing With The Stars last night at a friend’s house and saw this autistic computer engineer who founded Apple, and felt a little awkward watching his awkwardness, until realizing that he was the guy who was fucking Kathy Griffin and the idea of them licking each other’s asshole scares the fuck out of me, but not as much as Tom Bergeron’s constant Apple jokes, dude coulda gone on all fucking night.

Watch the video, shit’s pretty funny shit….and when you’re done with that watch Holly Madison bringing back her old stage dance back when she was a stripper…

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Karina Smirnoff|Steve Wozniak

2009

27

Feb

Denise Richards and Her Dancing With the Stars Bullshit of the Day

I love how the paparazzi are whining like bitches trying to get the shot of Denise Richards because it will put food on the table for them and their immigrant family for another night. You can tell in their desperate cries that they really hate the girl with the backpack on and would kill her if they could, like they did to Princess Dianna and Anna Nicole Smith, just to get the fucking story….useless fucking existence, welcome to my life.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Denise Richards|Tank Top

2009

26

Feb

Denise Richards is Dancing with the Stars of the Day

I don’t know why I am wasting my time on these Denise Richards pictures, I assume it’s gotta do with how I waste my time on pictures of useless people everyday, it’s a distraction from actually living and having to come to terms with how shit life really is, like seeing Denise Richards on Dancing with the Stars, when I used to think she had so much potential in her life back in that lesbian scene she did with Kevin Bacon, only to end up divorced, cheated on, a failed reality star, hanging on by a fucking thread by doing the one thing that will take her and she’s lookin pretty fit while doin’ it. Good times.

Posted in:cleavage|Dancing With the Stars|Denise Richards

2008

24

Sep

Kim Kardashian Can’t Dance of the Day

I went through all this yesterday and I don’t really think there’s a need to repeat myself. The first thing I have to say about this video is that Kim Kardashian thinks that everyone thinks she’s sexy and knows how to move, which is hilarious because she isn’t sexy and the only moving she does is from her couch to the fridge to get Ice Cream. The second thing I have to say about this video is that Kim Kardashian thinks we think she knows how to move her ass but in reality she needs a booty lesson, which is hilarious because I’ve seen the sex tape and know that that ass is weighing her down. I want to know who the fuck told her these things, where did this delusion come from. The last thing I found funny about this video is that she can’t dance for shit, she can’t move for shit, she can’t perform, and she can’t make that booty talk. So she remains useless novelty with a fat ass who is much more tolerable in pictures or if you own an ice cream shop and even Dancing with the Stars mock her by playing “baby got back” as some kind of bad joke, because she does have back but just doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing with it. Either way, watch the video then Vote this Bitch Off…

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Kim Kardashian

2008

23

Sep

Kim Kardashian’s Cry For Attention on Dancing With the Stars of the Day

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So Kim Kardashian is always willing to further her career and better herself by taking that fat ass to greater heights by jumping in front of the camera every time it’s around. I think it stems from a jealousy of her friend Paris Hilton, who is irrelevant now, but at the time Kim copied her Sex Tape formula was a big deal, so I guess that means that Kim has taken the crown of uselessness.

In continuing her quest of uselessness, she was on Dancing With The Stars last night and I’ve always been told that you watch a girl dance to figure out how well they fuck, in Kardashian’s case, I saw her fuck before I saw her dance, and could have told you that this cold, dead fish of a pussy is nothing but a fat rich kid who is only good at laying there. She hasn’t got the energy or flow to put in the effort where it is needed, and her ego makes her think that’s okay because anyone she’s fucking, is just lucky that she let them in her. It turns out that her dance is even worse than her blowjob skills, and I really didn’t think that was possible, so maybe Kardashian’s breaking boundaries by proving to me that she is in fact even more of a waste of space than I originally thought she was.

The highlight of the clip is when the judge tells her she should make herself more available because she’s a treasure trove that everyone wants to explore…..without realizing that she’s already done a decent job of that…..either way, watch the clip and vote this whore off.

Here she is trying to show off some of her dance moves, and by dance moves I mean her ass in spandex. Enjoy.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Kim Kardashian

2008

18

Sep

Kim Kardashian’s Dancing With the Stars Ass of the Day

Kim Kardashian looks like she finally got off that big ass of hers and has been working out for this Dancing with the Stars season. I guess that’s good news, becasue she was getting dumpy as shit and people were celebrating her laziness, instead of realizing they were lookin’ at an ass made of ice cream and fast food and sitting and not an ass that’s just big and banging. Sure, in the past I’ve been more supportive of skinny, small assed girls and left the fat ass for the black guys who love fat ass so much more than their fat black wives they accidentally knocked up and can’t manage to escape, but I am still a man, and I still appreciate a hot booty and Kardashian’s ass, despite hating her, does some pretty amazing things and that’s something I guess I shouldn’t ignore, but the only reason i am giving it any love, is because I can tell she’s getting more fit and I am not retracting my original opinion that over the last year she’s been a fucking pig. So here’s to new beginnings.

Posted in:Ass|Dancing With the Stars|Kim Kardashian

2008

07

Jul

Some Cheryl Burke Bikini Pictures of the Day

I always had this idea that dancers were these lean, borderline anorexic lookin’ chicks in tights, before actually going to a local dance school’s dance performance because my stepdaughter gave me a free ticket. I figured getting down to watching teenage girls dancing and not getting naked in the process would be a nice change of pace from what I was used to. I was wrong. Every single girl who came out with her hip hop choreographed Britney Spears backup dancer shit was built like a fucking tank and seeing hot chicks in booty shorts shaking their asses wasn’t really an option, because there were no hot chicks, just these thick, strong Hayden Panettiere chicks squating, popping and locking in some kind of seizure inducing dance battle.

The point is that Cheryl Burke is also a dancer, but not the good kind you want to give 10 dollars a song to, and a thick kind you want to hire to help you move because she’s more fit than any of your deadbeat friends, and here she is in a bikini, showing off her thick dance muscles.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Burke|Dancing With the Stars

2008

25

Mar

Shannon Elizabeth is Dancing With the Stars of the Day

Since my images still don’t work 100 percent and since dancing is porn to me, here’s some Shannon Elizablth Dancing with the Stars who aren’t really stars, because if they were, they would be too busy getting real work that doin’ a quickstep on a shitty variety show. Either way, there was a time I got hard for her fake tits and I figure that out of respect to the death of her sex appeal, I should honor it by posting this is some shit. Kinda like that time we Weekend and Bernied my neighbor who had a drug overdose 2 days before we found him and we had to sit with his body until the coroner came to get it. It took about 10 hours, we were drunk and thought that the best way to honor him was by turning him into some kind of puppet and making him do funny puppet things. All it took was a little rope and a strong stomach because dude had a bit of a stink to him but it got a whole lot of laughs when we went to the other neighbors’ doors making him ask fora cup sugar.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Lame|Shannon Elizabeth

2008

19

Mar

Shannon Elizabeth is Dancing with the Stars of the Day

So I figure that you didn’t watch Dancing with the Stars because you aren’t that comfortable with your sexuality and you’re scared it’ll make you want to take up dance since it’s so graceful and you don’t want your friends to call you a fag for it, so you do everything in your power to stay the fuck away from that shit. Even when an ex-Playboy cover girl is the ‘Star” dancing a fool in what looks like a panty-shirt showing off her legs.

The funny thing about this show is that the stars they find are hardly stars so when I watch a clip I have a hard time figuring out who is the famous one and who is the hired dancing instructor? It seems that they are so desperate to get people on the show that if you were an uncredited extra in a movie, like I was back when I drunkenly walked on set of a movie shoot at 5 am a few years ago, you’d qualify for the show….That said…I’ll put my dancing shoes on, I want to show the world how this man moves. It’s really quite angelic.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Shannon Elizabeth

2007

10

Oct

I am – Jane Seymour Dancing With the Stars Rehearsal Pics of the Day

jane_seymour_clown_top.jpg

I have a confession to make. I went to a friends house and his daughter’s were watching dancing with the stars yesterday and I was in the other room, because he doesn’t like me getting to close to them, because they are 18 and I am a bad influence, but I couldn’t help but overhear the shit that was going down. Basically, Jane Seymour’s mother had a stroke earlier in the year and her favorite show was Dancing With the Stars, the UK version. When Jane Seymour decided she was going to do it, she told her dying mother who hadn’t spoke in months and her mother spoke for the first time since her stroke saying “YES”. So that inspired Jane Seymour to do the show and since the stroke her mother ended up passing away and she decided to kick serious ass on her show, because she knows her mother is watching her and last night’s tango was so meaningful to Jane Seymore because it was the one dance she was going to dedicate to her mom.

Now I am all for sob stories, I think it makes for good entertainment, but the only question I had was did the Dancing with the Stars producers pay for this bullshit story for the tear-jerking drama it caused or did Jane Seymore off her mom, she is Dr Quinn Medicine Woman after all, so that she could win points with the judges. The whole thing was pretty fucking suspect and all the judges were nice to her after her dance, because none of them wanted to look like heartless bastards.

I remember when I used to use my mom’s death to get me passing marks in English class because I was a Mexican immigrant I couldn’t really write much more than “MY MOM DIED BE NICE”.

Point of all this is to say this Jane Seymour bitch looks like a fucking clown in this outfit, she is 56 years old and looks like she’s made of plastic, but not the good kind of plastic, more like the pastic wrap I used to take off of cheese slices to tape to my dick as a makeshift condom…I’m crafty like that.


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Posted in:cleavage|Dancing With the Stars|Jane Seymour|Plastic Surgery|Unsorted