Modern Day Journalism
 
 

Archive for the DJ Category

2010

26

Apr

What the Fuck is This Thing DJing of the Day

Her name is Chantal Thomass and if she was DJing a bar I walked into, I’d walk the fuck out.

Seriously, it’s people like this twat and Sam Ronson that remind me that to make it as a DJ you don’t need any real skill and you don’t even have to be fuck worthy….not that I think DJing a bar or a party is anything substantial that takes any real talent, because playing other people’s music is something I figure anyone can do, especially when the general public don’t know what it takes to be quality at anything especially a DJ, they just need to be told to like something or that something is good and they will eat that shit up like fucking candy and become fans for life…..

But I know when shit looks like this and it’s not an actual scary fucking nightmare, I know it’s time to get the fuck away from it fast….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Chantal Thomass|DJ

2009

12

Aug

Kelly Osborne’s Fat Tits DJ Badly of the Day

So it turns out that Kelly Osborne does more than just eat and spend her dad’s money, she also is a celebrity DJ who gets booked to play her shitty ipod mixes at clubs for big money, because people are so fascinated by celebrity and celebrity offspring that if Kelly Osborne listens to the shit, and sets the mood for the party thru her song choices, then it must be good enough for them to dance to.

I’d rather watch her masturbate and listen to her moan that be forced to get drunk to her mixes, and I really have no interest in every watching her masturbating or listening to her moan, if anything I find the thought fuckin’ disgusting, just figured it’d be a good enough visual for you to really grasp how badly I don’t want to hear her and her novelty DJ gig…and here are her fat tits…

Posted in:DJ|Kelly Osborne|Tits

2009

28

Apr

Samantha Ronson Spins at a Stripclub of the Day

Samantha Ronson DJed the stripclub opening Pam Anderson was at and I wonder if she found love for 10 dollars a song like I have so many times.

I always laugh when I see lesbians at the stripclubs I go to, they are usually really fat, manly, horny bitches who all the strippers flock to because they feel less violated when something that claims to have a pussy slaps their ass, despite the fact that there’s no real proof she’s a woman, and really all evidence points to penis.

They always seem to be out of control, drunk, screaming, annoying, flashing the strippers their tits, putting money in their mouths and laying on stage, eager to get pussy and it is like watching an obese person at the all you can eat buffet, knee deep in mash potatos, if you know what I mean. It’s one of thoseKaty Perry lesbian fantasy killer situations that makes all the guys in the club hate that she’s stealing the limelight….

On a sidenote, is this the end for Ronson, I mean all the stripclub DJs I’ve ever seen are pretty bottom of the fucking barrel, does leaving Lohan mean a life of awkward parties, stripclubs and back alley abortion clinics, you know bringing music to ease the pain of killing your unwanted fetus.

On another sidenote, I am sure she got paid 20,000 dollars to do this, and the place I go, the DJ only gets paid in handjobs.

Let’s do one more sidenote, I hate you.

Posted in:DJ|Samantha Ronson|Stripclub

2009

26

Jan

Tommy Lee is a DJ and Victoria Silvstedt is his DJ Whore of the Day

So Tommy Lee is another one of these celebrity DJs who goes out to clubs because they offer him a lot of fucking money to get behind the turntables and let his ipod do the talking.

Now I don’t really give a shit about this whole celebrity DJ movement, I think it’s a huge fucking joke, but that’s probably because I don’t think DJing really takes all that much talent, I figure if you have any level of rhythm, like if you were a drummer or something, mixing other people’s songs into one another would be pretty fucking easy.

What I don’t fucking understand why he’d want to DJ. Isn’t he rich and famous? Maybe it is because his band isn’t making moves or money because he’s settled all those lawsuits out of court with girls he gave STDs to. Maybe it is because it is the only way he can convince a club to hire him to attend, and he figures he might as well make stupid money to get drunk, then not and it lets him be the center of attention and source of the music all the sluts in the club are dancing to.

No matter what it is, it’s a fucking scam and cunt Victoria Silvstedt is feeding right into it, but that’s okay, because she’s a fucking idiot, and idiots are expected to suck up to an overpaid, ex rockstar DJ, because they are more famous that her mooching ass and she’s willing to do anything possible, as long as it involves getting dick in her mouth/ass/pussy, to climb up the ladder, even though she’s old, washed up, and disgusting.

Bonus – A Picture of Tommy Lee Advertising to the World That He’s Tricked Us All Into Making Him Famous. Thanks Asshole.

Here are some more pictures of Victoria Silvstedt and whatever the fuck this event was….because she’s a fucking whore.

Posted in:DJ|Tommy Lee|Victoria Silvstedt|Whore

2008

22

Dec

Samantha Ronson Makes 3 Million Dollars a Year of the Day

Everyone is freaking out about Samantha Ronson making 3,000,000 dollars a year as a DJ and claim that she’s only getting the 25,000 dollar a gig price because club promoters think she’s going to be carting Lohan around with her and is pretty much using Lohan to get the big payout, but bars and clubs are fucking sketchy business, run by the mafia to launder money and there’s tons of cash that needs to go around and get accounted to prevent people from going to jail, so people in the bar industry have always spent tons of money on various DJs, acts, parties, hosts, whatever, because they have tons of cash to do it, whether celebrities are involved in the mix or not….

Sure, more mainstream people know who she is now and care about who is DJing the party more than they used to, but that’s why these celeb DJs exist. People don’t know if someone can mix a record together well or not, they care about who is mixing that record and if they recognize any of the songs the DJ is playing so they can get on the table and dance around like idiots while singing along….

I snuck into a Ronson party last year when they were just rumored being together and shit was fucking packed with chachi motherfuckers who bought bottle after fucking bottle in some sea of cheese that made me want to kill myself, and that made the club a couple hundred thousand dollars, so why shouldn’t the DJ who people came out to see, see some of that money since the club was pushing her as “Lohan’s possible Girlfriend” to sell tickets. Seems fair to me….

A few years ago, DJ AM was in town and he got paid over 100,000 dollars to play one night with Nicole Richie when they were fucking, and he also has a million dollar deal with a Vegas club to play on a weekly basis. That’s 1 million dollars to work one day a week for a year. He also owns two night clubs and a management company that represents a bunch of these celeb/mainstream DJs who all get paid between 10k and 30k a gig, depending on when and where. So he laughs at the 3,000,000 dollars Ronson makes, while counting the 15 or 20 million dollars he probably makes doing the same thing….

I know this because a promoter wanted to organize a birthday party for the site, and I wanted celebrity DJs there because I thought it would be funny to throw shit at them while they DJed and not getting kicked out since it was my fucking party and I’ll throw ice at the overpriced celebrity DJ if I want to, so I reached out to the booking agents, and the cheapest quote I got was 15,000 dollars for any of them on an off night, like a Sunday or Monday. So instead of getting the funding to throw pies at AM while he Djayed, the idea was flushed down the toilet.

So these people make fucking bank,they party and drink all night, play music, fuck hot chicks and travel the world and people come out to dance to their boring, sweet sixteen, mainstream sets, but at least they are doing something for the party, unlike the time Paris Hilton came to town, she got paid 80,000 dollars and a bunch of coke to show up to an event, Hilary Duff, Christina Aguilera, Tila Tequila, Kim Kardashian, Pam Anderson, Marissa Miller, P Diddy, and a lot more celebs have rolled through here and they all cost more than 25,000 dollars a night and they just sit around for an hour pretending to drink before heading back to the hotel, so to put it all in perspective, it’s really not all that crazy, even if 95% of their sets is playing other people’s music….and what it all comes down to is that we’re idiots struggling to pay our rent because we didn’t have the foresight to get on this DJ train and date a celebrity of our owne, while Ronson laughs her way to the bank….

Posted in:DJ|Samantha Ronson

2007

22

May

I am – Samantha Ronson is Lohan's Lesbian Cock of the Day

lohan_lesbian_cock4.jpg

So Lohan has been on a crazed party spree according to the media. Bitch has been caught doing blow on video. She’s been seen drinking vodka out of the bottle cuz that’s so fucking crazy. She’s been having really loud sex with models in hotel rooms and she’s not even 21 yet. It sounds to me like bitch is having a good fucking time and that this is better than any college frat party or Girls Gone Wild DVD. So I support the fall into Satan’s temptation….

I know I’d be doing the same thing if I had all kinds of money, which I don’t. I also know that no matter how fucking drunk, high, wasted, jacked, inebriated, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, I was, I would never fuck anything that looked like this fucking piece of trash bull dyke Samantha Ronson. I know that Lohan’s been rumored to be rockin’ this cunt like it was a dick and by the looks of her, it probably is a fucking dick or at least it was at one point in time. I was trying to make out whether she is a tranny by looking for an adam’s apple, but she’s conveniently wearing a fucking tie to cover it up like she was your dad on his way to a bank to get the approved for a loan to buy your family a new trailer home.

I know that this Ronson has a twin sister, and I happened to watch an episode of 20/20 last week about transgendered kids. One story was about a set of fraternal twins that were about 13 years old at the time. The dude twin decided that he was a girl when he was young and at the age of 2 dude tried to cut off his dick with a set of nail clippers and from that day on dressed like a girl and resented his sister for being a girl. The kid was all fucked up and angry and I have a feeling that story was actually some old footage about the Ronson twins….but I can’t be sure…

Either way, they have to have a rich dad who is industry, because this talentless cunt obviously has no business traveling the world with Lohan. Even if she is stuffing Lohan like a thanksgiving Turkey. I guess that’s what Wikipedia is for and rich or not, we’ve already established that all the money in the world will never make you a real woman. Sure you can get the expensive surgery, you can afford the hormone therapy, but motherfucker, we know you were born a man and that means you have the insides of a man and no straight dude will stick his dick in your artificially lubed plastic box knowing that, but you’re a good transitional person for straight girls looking for a lesbian experience without actually admitting that they are dykes and into chicks….I guess you already figured that out on your own. Slut.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lohan Dancing for Her Lesbian Cock. She is Lookin’ A Little More Haggard than Usual. I Guess Her Cocaine Lifestyle is Taking Its Toll….

All Pics Via Cobrasnake, The

Posted in:DJ|Hipster|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

22

May

I am – Samantha Ronson is Lohan’s Lesbian Cock of the Day

lohan_lesbian_cock4.jpg

So Lohan has been on a crazed party spree according to the media. Bitch has been caught doing blow on video. She’s been seen drinking vodka out of the bottle cuz that’s so fucking crazy. She’s been having really loud sex with models in hotel rooms and she’s not even 21 yet. It sounds to me like bitch is having a good fucking time and that this is better than any college frat party or Girls Gone Wild DVD. So I support the fall into Satan’s temptation….

I know I’d be doing the same thing if I had all kinds of money, which I don’t. I also know that no matter how fucking drunk, high, wasted, jacked, inebriated, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, I was, I would never fuck anything that looked like this fucking piece of trash bull dyke Samantha Ronson. I know that Lohan’s been rumored to be rockin’ this cunt like it was a dick and by the looks of her, it probably is a fucking dick or at least it was at one point in time. I was trying to make out whether she is a tranny by looking for an adam’s apple, but she’s conveniently wearing a fucking tie to cover it up like she was your dad on his way to a bank to get the approved for a loan to buy your family a new trailer home.

I know that this Ronson has a twin sister, and I happened to watch an episode of 20/20 last week about transgendered kids. One story was about a set of fraternal twins that were about 13 years old at the time. The dude twin decided that he was a girl when he was young and at the age of 2 dude tried to cut off his dick with a set of nail clippers and from that day on dressed like a girl and resented his sister for being a girl. The kid was all fucked up and angry and I have a feeling that story was actually some old footage about the Ronson twins….but I can’t be sure…

Either way, they have to have a rich dad who is industry, because this talentless cunt obviously has no business traveling the world with Lohan. Even if she is stuffing Lohan like a thanksgiving Turkey. I guess that’s what Wikipedia is for and rich or not, we’ve already established that all the money in the world will never make you a real woman. Sure you can get the expensive surgery, you can afford the hormone therapy, but motherfucker, we know you were born a man and that means you have the insides of a man and no straight dude will stick his dick in your artificially lubed plastic box knowing that, but you’re a good transitional person for straight girls looking for a lesbian experience without actually admitting that they are dykes and into chicks….I guess you already figured that out on your own. Slut.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lohan Dancing for Her Lesbian Cock. She is Lookin’ A Little More Haggard than Usual. I Guess Her Cocaine Lifestyle is Taking Its Toll….

All Pics Via Cobrasnake, The

Posted in:DJ|Hipster|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – DJ AM is Gayer than Bicycle Shorts of the Day

I emailed DJ AM a while ago because I heard he was playing in Montreal. He never emailed me back. I asked him for guestlist because I figured we were friends, you know with me always speaking so highly of him and shit, but I was wrong. The motherfucker never emailed me back, he never put me on the list and I was forced to go through one of my stepdaughter’s friends to get in because DJ AM is a fucking cocksucker.

I got to the event and it was filled with so many fucking chachi pieces of shit. I felt like it was a Diesel Jeans sample sale and every Italian and his cousin came out to get a deal. AM came in with 4 bodyguards because he feels like he is more important than he really is and this is a video of him and one of his boyfriends trying to fix his DJ set up. I knew when I saw them that their relationship consisted of more than just fixing DJ equipment but this was as close as I got to the asshole giving the dude with the flashlight a rim job…

I left after 10 minutes because there is only so much overpaid Bar Mitvah DJing that I can handle and I heard dude made 6,000 dollars to play for all these fucking losers, and that probably means that this fucker is overpaid and that even though this video won’t make me 6,000 dollars, at least I go to bed knowing that I didn’t get to the top by sticking my lame penis up in Nicole Richie’s 90 pound cooch, not that I wouldn’t, but I just didn’t.

I may be drunk and this may be a drunk edit, but I think if you focus on the video, you can tell that DJ AM is a popstar that is Gayer than Bicycle shorts. The way this cocksucker handles his vinyl will make any queer dream of him diddling their anus….That means you….Homo… Cuddles…

PS – DJ AM, Next Time You Should Put Me On the Guestlist. Asshole.

Posted in:DJ|DJ AM|Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts|Hipster|Party|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted