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Archive for the Dresses Category

2007

25

Sep

I am – Hayden Panettiere Getting Out of Cars of the Day

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Here’s a little Hayden Panettiere action because she’s so popular with the boys right now. i am not really sure why because she looks like a treasure troll that let his hair down, but I guess 18 year olds with dumpy asses, massive heads, stumpy legs and who are barely 5 feet tall are the new 18 year olds with hot asses and a well-proportioned bodies.

I think the reason guys fantasize about her is because they know she plays the classier, more innocent role and deep down inside there’s a slut dying to come out that she saves for the bedroom because her public image is so fucking important to her. I realized many years ago that the girls who wore the tight, low-cut dresses and who would do sexually suggestive things like talk about how they like to fuck or how they like to fuck were just cock teases. They got off on the idea of guys getting off to thinking about them sexually. That was their penetration. They didn’t actually care to fuck and when they got in the bedroom, they just kinda laid there and took it, like they didn’t need to do any work because they were so desirable and they were doing you a favor by just letting you get up in them. Which is probably the case for every girl you’ve ever bagged. But the sexually repressed asian or Jesus lover jumps you as soon as the door closes behind you and rides you like you only have 2 minutes to get ‘er done, which for many of you is probably the case. The sexually repressed chicks are the ones that just think about fucking all the fucking time and don’t talk about it or flaunt it but bottle shit up so that the second they are naked those fuckers turn into some kind of crazy.

Either way, I was just in a store and saw some trashy slutty girl in a mini skirt and thigh highs, rockin’ patent leather white boots and some kind of halter top. Her blond hair was in pigtails and she looked like a pornstar. She kept playing with her tongue ring and every motherfucker in the place, who probably had washed up, dull, normal dressing wives and girlfriends at home was staring at her like they just came themselves. Sure her tits busted out of her bra with nipples harder than nipples are supposed to get, and her body was tight, but I knew what she was all about and I knew that she thought she was this really hot piece of ass that all the dudes loved, without realizing that dudes just love lookin at sluts.

At one point she looked at me and I laughed to myself because I got her game. She stuck out her tongue and licked her lips making sure I saw the tongue ring she was packing. What she didn’t realize is that I hate tongue rings and I don’t understand the deal with them and why washed up whores think they are hot and stick it out and play with it. I don’t think a tongue ring ever meant that a girl loved suckin’ dick, when I see a tongue ring I don’t think how awesome it will feel on my dick. I have had tongue ring blowjobs and the girls couldn’t suck dick for the life of them, even with a blowjob accessory shit didn’t finish me off, but every dude who saw her probably thought she could and I am sure she thought she could suck dick too and played that off like it’s 1990 when tongue rings were invented, crying for men to think of her as dick sucking whores, because it probably gets them into clubs or at least free drinks when in clubs, which is the measure of a slut’s ability to be the girl dudes want to get drunk and bring home to fuck em and give em a fake number then leave em…because their real girlfriends who can carry a conversation and are cool and normal actually know how to fuck wouldn’t approve of this union if they ever found out about it. Life as a slut is a sad lonely place because no one ever wants to marry them, they just pass that vagina around hoping and wishing that one day they’d get a good guy who legitimately is into them….unfortuantely her exposed g-string, kinda puts a damper on that dream.

Here are those Hayden pics because we all know she’s a dirty slut behind all the bullshit that is her career.


Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere’s Dog Eats her Tampons of the Day
Hayden Panettiere Buying a Thong of the Day
Hayden Panettiere Rockin’ a Black Dress
Hayden Panettiere Hanging With Dirty Old Men

Posted in:Cars|cleavage|Dresses|Hayden Panettiere|Sex Faces|Unsorted

2007

17

Sep

I am – Some Emmy Award Coverage of the Day

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I wasn’t going to cover any Emmy Awards shit because the Emmy Awards are fucking lame and it was my attempt in protesting them. Reality is that I tried to watch them yesterday because I figured it would inspire me to hate the world more than I do or maybe even take the 4 hours of my life away from me. I promised a reader that I would live-blog but that didn’t happen. Life lesson, never trust a drunken Mexican.

I first tuned in on my neighbors TV during the pre-show red carpet shit and saw the fag from Queer Eye doing fashion play-by-play like it was a fucking sports show. I thought the concept was stupid and was forced to change channels, but that was after I saw lesbian Ellen and her wife who is not so lesbian but realizes that eating Ellen’s pussy is good for business, being interviewed. Ellen was a manic weirdo who must have been jacked on something and it made me question why we let Lesbians on TV.

I tuned in again for the opening performance that was some Family Guy shit, Stewie and the dog were singing about how shitty TV is, I think I laughed a few times but I was drunk and don’t really remember. I do know that I like Family Guy and think it’s the best written show, so I hope they won something.

Ryan Seacrest came on and didn’t make me or anyone in the audience even crack a smile. His jokes weren’t jokes and it was nice to see his Seacrest ship sink, I can only hope this continues in the next events he is involved in, because his demise is well deserved. He’s a 5 minutes of fame gone wrong situation, you know the kind of dude you hate that gets on some Dating Show but somehow turns it into years of success when his talent only should have got him to the elimination round….

The second Ray Romano came on was the second I turned the shit off. I hate his voice and seeing him on TV reminded me why I don’t watch TV. I used to go crazy everytime his show came on, I am talking throwing shit at the TV to make the pain stop.

I also kept catching my neighbor staring at me while rubbing his leg, and despite being all for dirty old men, I can’t accept dirty old men giving me the eye mainly because I am not into gay but also because I am disgusting looking and anyone giving me the eye whether man or woman is clearly fucked in the head and someone I don’t want to be around…I felt like I accidentally walked into some kind of secret gay man hook up zone like a public bathroom that fags use as a meeting place to fuck while their wives are out shopping or some shit…and despite it being more exciting than the Emmies, I still had to get the fuck out.

Here are some pictures of the event:

Christina Aguilera and Her Pregnancy Tits

Eva Longoria and Her Mexican Ass

Hayden Panettiere and Her Floppy Tits Hiding Under a Tent of a Dress I can only assume she wanted to wear adult sizes for once and this is the result

Heidi Klum is Living Beauty and the Beast

Jaime Lynn Sigler Brings Her Eating Disorder as Her Date

Jaime Pressly 4 Months After Letting The World Knows She Has Unprotected Sex By Having a Baby

Jennifer Love Hewitt Hiding Her Fat Ass We All Know She Has…

Kaley Cuoco Because She’ll Never Be On TV Again

Katherine Heigl is the Big Winner…Literally…

Kristen Bell Because I Don’t Know Who She Is…

Lisa Rinna Because She Hasn’t Been on TV for a Decade…But Her Fake Tits Get Her Past Security…

Maria Menounos Because She’s Greek and Takes it in the Ass

Michelle Pfeiffer is Old But Still Hotter Than Anyone You Know…

Phoebe Price Because Her Dress Has Windows

Portia DiRossi Because She’s a Fake Lesbian and We Like Fake Lesbians Because It Means They Will Let Us Fuck Them While They Eat Out Their Friends…

Teri Hatcher Because She Banged Ryan Seacrest

I am sure there are more, but this took me long enough to do and I am over the Emmy Awards….

Bonus – Christina Aguilera Performance with Tony Bennett


Related Posts:

Live Bloggin the Academy Awards in 2007
Live Bloggin the VMAs in 2006
The MMVA Picture Thread 2006
Christina Aguiler Half Naked Performance at Some Award Show
Jesse Jane’s Tits at the Adult Night Club and Exotic Awards

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Dresses|Emmy Awards|Eva Longoria|Hayden Panettiere|Heidi Klum|Jaime Lynn Sigler|Jaime Pressly|Jennifer Love Hewitt|Katherine Heigl|Kayley Cuoco|Kristen Bell|Lisa Rinna|Maria Menounos|Michelle Pfeiffer|Phoebe Price|Portia DiRossi|Teri Hatcher|Unsorted