I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Dummy Category

2007

10

Dec

I am – Winona Ryder’s Sex Tape with a Dummy of the Day

Apparantly this movie is coming out on DVD and it features some kind of clip of Winona having sex with a Dummy. It was emailed into me as some kind of exclusive, because sex with inanimate objects is kinda my thing, like the other day when I got myself trying to stick my dick inside the toaster because I was drunk and just wanted to feel something down there. Now I’m tending to some crazy burns and blisters that are infected, but have proven to be fun to use as party favors, and by party favor I mean drunkenly expose myself to college girls saying “this is why you should use condoms”, it’s been really successful in getting girls naked, because infected blister dick turns some girls on.

Either way, it’s being advertised on this site in some way, which is pretty exciting because I don’t normally have advertisers and I am sure shit happened by accident because some brown dude who helps me when shit gets fucked up told me to put in this strip of code called Blog Ads that runs ads and if things go as planned people will accidentally buy one every once in the while making me a couple bucks. Blog Ads is the shit that Perez Hilton uses to make something crazy like 45,000 dollars a day, I think it’s made me something like 45 dollars in the 3 months I’ve had it. I’m going to the top, watch the fuck out.

Speaking of Perez, some girl wrote me this nice email:

Nobody knows who you are. You would be lucky to be Perez – he’s wealthy because people find him interesting. He has a big gossip blog because he is an interesting person.

I’m not going into a Perez rant about how uninteresting he probably is, or how all his fame came with media coverage and is the same reason that Marilyn Manson made kids kill in Columbine or Girls have eating disorders or whatever, because idiots need to do what they are told by the media. So if you’re reading this, you know my feelings about Perez, but telling me how much cooler Perez is than me, is fuckin’ with my self esteem a little, it’s like when you’re fucking a hot chick who you want to marry and she cheats on you with some asshole who drives a Porsche or some shit, because you can roll up to the drive-in on your skateboard. Actually, I don’t never had any self-esteem to begin with, because I am realistic and know I suck at life, I also don’t have money, personal hygiene, self discipline, much of a personality, talent or any food in the fridge, but that’s more my wife’s fault, she likes eating.s


Related Posts:

Kate Moss and Winona Ryder Meet for the I Had Sex With Johnny Depp Club
Kate Moss Topless Bikini Action
Kate Moss Topless on the Beach Again

Posted in:Dummy|Unsorted|Winona Ryder