I don’t know if Elizabeth Berkley depresses me because I remember masturbating to her shitty implants what must be decades ago, at least that’s what her haggard granny body is telling me….or if Elizabeth Berkley depresses me because seeing old bitches hanging on as hard as they can…tapping into and mocking the only thing they’ve ever really done 20 years later…on some seriously bottom feeding show for bottom feeders…and that kind of thing makes me sad…or if…I am just sad she’s not a stripper like she teased us she’d become had the residuals from Saved By the Bell dried up….
You know what can’t be saved by the bell? Elizabeth Berkley’s ass. Get it…cuz she was on Saved by the Bell and other than Showgirls, that’s the only thing she’s ever fucking done….but that was clearly a long time ago…you know long before her ass started melting into itself like it’s had one too many babies…
I didn’t realize Showgirls was that long ago…but thanks to the condition of Elizabeth Berkley’s body…I have no choice….because it takes a certain amount of time to make something good enough to be cast in a movie as a naked stripper bitch….to being something we’d rather see in a one-piece or at the beach bar seducing the bartender and telling war stories about when she was once hot and all the guys would run after her, and how she’d never had to pay for sex until today, and how she’ll give him 500 dollars to make her feel like a woman again, all while fully clothed for the rest of us not on her payroll….
I wonder what this philanthropist has in her “Feed the Children of the World” bag. I have a feeling that despite her efforts to get her message out there about a topic she’s so passionate about, there’s no canned goods in the shit that she’s planning on shipping to fucking Africa to make an actual difference, instead she just spent 500 dollars on a purse made out of an old potato sack that sends 5 dollars of their proceeds to some mismanaged charity that has high adminstrative costs and high salaried executives and only sends a fraction of that 5 dollars to the actual villages who need it. I’m pretty sure her purse is filled with designer make-up, wallet, key chains and a few pillcases filled with designer prescription pills.
I hate celebrities because they are such bullshit, vane, disgusting people, who could actually be making a difference, but instead do it for bullshit, vanity and disgusting reasons.
The good news is that Elizabeth Berkley is pretty much irrelevant, you know a “Where are they now” story and she should not have put her clothes back on and stopped her journey into porn that she started with Showgirls….let that be a lesson to all you girls….if you keep getting naked and you’ll always have an audience…..
There was a time when Elizabeth Berkley was the hottest shit, you know a little Saved by the Bell Saturday morning jerk off session. There was a time she was getting naked and givin lap dances in movies and now she’s just menopausal. I guess that is the circle of life or someshit, but I’m no philosopher so I could be wrong.