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Archive for the Events Category

2014

24

Nov

The American Music Awards Happened of the Day

The American Music Awards are a pile of shit and I refuse to watch them. If you’re wondering how I know they are a pile of shit, it is because they actually invited me to attend as press one year, and no one, not even porn events, invite me anywhere, making me pretty convinced they are hurting, desperate and pretty fucking weak. I just assumed Dick Clark Productions, pre-Dick Clark dying off and turning into Ryan Seacrest set a huge long contract with ABC, so the show must go on – or some shit – as a tribute to a better time, when TV was only 3 channels…

That said, I didn’t live blog the shit, live tweet the shit, or even watch the shit. I did hear in passing that the above performance of a stripper and JLo was much anticipated, or marketed as being potentially scandalous, as booking strippers on your show would do, because the world is internet porn crazed…and they needed any hook they could get to get people to watch the shit…and I can assure you, without watching, that it was shit..

I guess it’s just nice to see the mainstream becoming more like my drug and booze filled pervert life…

Here’s the highlight reel…Even though none of this matters….with Selena, Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Charli XCX – etc.

TO SEE ALL THE SLUTS IN ATTENDENCE BEING SLUTS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Events

2014

06

Oct

Top 10 Knotts Scary Farm of the Day

It’s Halloween season, that’s why the Christmas decorations are already up in some stores….and I guess why some low level celebrities attended some bullshit that they were probably paid to attend to promote the bullshit – Knotts “Scary” Berry farm, which looks lame as fuck, not scary at all, and featuring some real low grade monsters even a 4 year old would tell to fuck off and step it – this isn’t the 40s asshole….we play videogames and see 3D movies….and I guess some even lower level celebrities went to get photographed – because that’s what LA is all about…

Here’s my top 10 of the experience I wasn’t invited to…because tis the fucking season for gore, fear, and slutty costumes…yay.

Vanessa Hudgens Went Gothic for the event…

She Looks Better in her leaked Nudes…

Rumer Willis got a Job as one of the Monsters…

She doesn’t find that funny…

Gigi Hadid with some JANKY ass actors in costumes – making Blowjob Face

She’s a model…

Hailey Joel Osment Showed Up in his Drag Queen Outfit “EmilY’….

Some Shenae Grimes Canadian Trash was there – because she died long ago and this is her Ghosting / Brought Back from the Dead

Elvira at 100 years old was hotter and more interesting than any of these young, disney, cheese as fucks

Leave it to the Russian named Petra to turn this into a mail order bride for a green card session with a producer….

Olivia Holt was there – I never heard of her but she looks like jailbait and you like that…

Ireland Baldwin “The Lesbian Years” was there too CLICK HERE

Posted in:Events

2014

12

Sep

Reviewing the Russell James Book Launch I Wasn’t Invited to of the Day

Victoria’s Secret put out a book for Russell James, their senior photographer, who I guess has been shooting with them for a very very long time, and has got rich and a lot of fucking sex from babes who want to be Victoria’s Secret models, which happens to be every girl in existence…called ANGELS ….featuring their Angels, and now Kendall Jenner, because I guess she’s bought her way into Victoria’s Secret modelling…

The launch was last night, I wasn’t invited, obviously, but Getty Images was, so here’s my run down of what you missed…

Russell with Branson, because creeper billionaires with private islands like photographers who bring top models there…

Russell with Lima, because there is a bond created when a girl gets half naked and bossed around by a dude with a camera…that involves being allowed to pick her up / cum on her face whenever he wants

Adriana Lima Kissing A Picture of Herself, Something I am sure she does often and everytime she sees a mirror – it’s all part of being an ego

Russell and Sara Sampaio

Three Victoria’s Secret Models…I think Lima is making this event about her…

Russell and Karolina Kurkova

Russell with Kendall Jenner because she pays him to be her photographer

Kendall Jenner with Branson – because her mom taught her how to sniff out money

Candice wasn’t bad….

But Martha Hunt was the best thing there…

Even when Lima was out trying to steal the spotlight…

Josephine Skriver is good too…

So is Elsa Hosk…

Why wasn’t I invited to this again? Oh right, because Lily Aldridge has hated me since she was an LA groupie doing TAMPON commercials

Posted in:Events|Russell James

2014

11

Aug

Top 13 at the Teen Choice Awards Happend of the Day

The Teen Choice Awards happened last night – and I watched them. Not because I like teens, in fact it was actually the total opposite of that. I just wanted to see what the kids were into these days, and as expected, it was filled what must be brain washed from the media, really silly, not even good looking, young stars who all kind of looked the same, acted the same, and reminded me that we’re all fucking doomed…

Here’s the top 10 people I noticed there…but barely cared because I didn’t find any one of them hot…compelling or exciting. The industry has gone to shit, and I’m not just saying that as a jaded asshole. It’s just a bunch of fucking cheesy, uninteresting people and Shailene Wood-whatever the fuck her name is talking about cancer patients because she did a movie on cancer and now she’s in tune. Fuck off. Phoney.


TO SEE ALL THE PICS COMPILED BY THE ILLUSTRIOUS MADAMMEOW
CLICK HERE

1- Chloe Grace Moretz because you’re all perverts and loved her in Kickass

2- Jordin Sparks because she has Horrible Cleavage…and you love horrible cleavage on even the most irrelevant American Idol trash

3- McKaley Miller Cleavage because I’ve never heard of her, but her cleavage screams “I may end up in porn”

4- Bella Thorne because we always need a good fire crotch in Hollywood to balance things out, especially one that is becoming more and more famous due to limited options, who has a slutty naked hipster sister.

5- Cher Lloyd because she survived Demi Lovato’s ass rape…to be famous…and I respect any whore willing to whore to follow her dreams…

6- Sarah Hyland was the host, totally uninteresting, or funny, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re a fucking robot.

7- Lea Michele because she’s trying to be hot, and she’s so not hot, but no one is telling her, everyone around her sucks up. So here she is making a fool of herself and has no idea of it. Always a good time.

8- Hailey Baldwin because she’s doing the Baldwin Genes alright – thanks to an injection of Brazilian model daddy Steven Baldwin stuffed…She’s the Baldwin Ireland wishes she was…

9- Ariana Grande Leads With her Chin…because her speech on never taking no for an answer, because she’s never heard no, she’s a vapid spoiled cunt with an ego of a mother was as inspiring as her gay as fuck brother coming out on Big Brother…

10- Kendall Jenner was there with her big dumb ass sister because they won

11- Taylor Swift is Good and Skinny because she’s hanging with models, possibly lesbian with models, all those boys she went through has left her realizing that getting eaten out is where the orgasm comes from…so stick with a chick – it comes without all the headaches of being cheated on….

12- Shay Mitchell because she’s relevant on a Relevant show and probably the best looking of the bunch….

13- Haley Joel Osment in Drag – because being the cute kid growing up fucks you up when you hit puberty – which coincidentally is the time when any girl becomes cute – thanks to tits and dudes being perverts – she he did what needed to be done.


TO SEE ALL THE PICS COMPILED BY THE ILLUSTRIOUS MADAMMEOW
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Events

2014

21

Jul

Jenner Sister in Fuck Me Boots for a Celebrity Charity Put On by a Woman Beater of the Day


I think the title says all you need it to…Here’s the video of Chris Brown performing for his stupid Charity to make good because you can’t base a man’s personality on his willingness to beat the fuck out of Rihanna…who I am sure is high maintenance, annoying and the kind of girl who has made many men crack…or even punched herself in the face and blaming said man because she’s that kind of diva…

Not to say beating girls is right…I think that shit is bad bad bad…I just think Rihanna’s pretty awful…maybe even a demon species of her own…

But still this Chris Brown asshole gets support from people…so I guess those celebs think beating girls is right..if there’s a photo opp in it…because no matter what charity Charles Manson puts on, you can be sure I won’t support…

MORE Pics via SPLASHNEWS

Posted in:Events

2014

17

Jul

Top 10 Tricks at the ESPY Awards of the Day

The ESPY awards happened last night. I can’t imagine anyone really giving a shit. I don’t know how much ESPN really matters, or more importantly, I don’t know how celebrating Athletes, who are already celebrated, really matters. I just know all the gold diggers, athlete fucking groupies, and possible athletes went out to the shit, I don’t know who 90 percent of the girls in attendance were, but here are the best tricks I found with my little to no actual research…

10 – Kim Johnson

9 – Draya Michele

8 – Hannah Cornett

7- Dara Torres is a Cripple Bitch

6 – Sydney Leroux

5- Erin Andrews – We Saw Your Staged Peeper Videos – To Advance Your Career – TRICK

4- Chrissy Teigen’s Career was Based on Gold Digging Brothers…Rappers or Athletes – Interchangeable..

3- Ali Fedotowsky….Dressed Like a Pumpkin…Brother’s Love Pumpkins…

2- Erin Andrews and Chrissy Teigen – Double Dose of TRICK

The Number 1 Trick at the ESPYS was Destinee Hooker – Because Her Name is So Appropriate

CLICK TO SEE PICS OF DANICA PATRICK AT THE ESPYS PRETENDING TO BE A RACECAR DRIVER

Click to see pics of JESSICA ALBA AT THE ESPYS PRETENDING TO BE INTO SPORTS

Click to see pics of CHRISSY TEIGEN BECAUSE SHE’S THE ENEMY AND YOU MUST ALWAYS KEEP TRACK OF THE ENEMY

Posted in:Events

2014

30

Jun

Top 10 Tits at the BET Awards BEEF of the Day

The BET Awards are all about controversy and scandal, because in case you didn’t know, the hip hop industry is like the WWF, this shit is staged to keep people interested and to think these millionaires are still hood and gangster, when all they really want to do is sit in their vacation home and read up on their investments…but the public wants them shooting, making it rain on hoes, partying and being ghetto…so that’s what they pretend to do…

I mean sure, some of these people are fucking ghetto, and happened to make it, but I think most are probably suburban, hard workers like Drake…they just talk like that for affect…

Either way, only one death that I know of happened at a BET affiliated event, which is good ratio…

and here are the top 10 tits having BEEF with random shit I invented at the event, starting with Juicy J VS a Trick up top, and Adrienne Bailon vs Wale down low…

Karruche Tran VS her Dress

Laura Govan VS Breast Impants and the Implants are winning

Zendaya VS Aalyiah

Brittany Daniels VS Being White

Faith Evans VS Subtlety

Naturi Naughton VS Oprah

Raven Goodwin VS Precious

Faith Evans VS Botox

Nadia Buari VS Beyonce

Claudia Jordan VS a Bra

Jennifer Hudson VS Weight Watchers

Ashley From Fresh Prince VS Scientology

Paris Hilton VS the World

Posted in:BET Awards|Events

2014

23

Jun

Drunkenstepfather EDC Exclusive of the Day

Unless you’re the DJ who pulled off the greatest scam in the history of life by becoming a DJ right around the time DJs started getting paid stupid fucking money thanks to EDM going mainstream and all the lame suburban college kids decided they were ravers….

Or unless you’re the DJ who pulled off the greatest scam in the history of life’s groupie girlfriend, who when I used to go to raves we’d call the “DJ HO” or “record bitch”…back when DJs used records…

Or unless you’re the sponsor, the VIP, or the dude making stupid money after organizing this event…

Music festivals seem like a fucking nightmare…and I wouldn’t be caught dead at them, no matter how hot everyday girls giving the party life one last shot before turning 30, coupled with half naked 20 year olds, are…

But I would convince my black friend to go take pics from drunkenstepfather, because half naked 20 year olds to 30 year olds raving..as stupid as it looks or sounds…are fun to stare at…

So here’s our EDC exclusive…shot on a point and shoot by a black man…probably dressed like a muppet…named kaveriis photos

Posted in:Events|Photos|stepEXCLUSIVE

2014

09

Jun

Emily Ratajkoski and the Guys Choice Awards Happened of the Day

Emily Ratajkoski brought her overrated bird face and big tits to the Guy’s Choice Awards, which are basically some bullshit marketing stunt to generate revenue for whoever the fuck puts them on, and that celebrate nonsense for no reason other than that the person was able to attend the event or more importantly, their tits get hits and having them part of their bullshit is good for business…and in Emrata’s case, any media coverage is good for her, since she’s faded into obscurity, her internet fame still in existent but hardly as relevant as she was this time last year…let’s hope she made millions so she can ride those 5 minutes for the rest of her life, or maybe we should hope she made nothing so that she turns to porn.

I don’t hate her or her fake everything, I just don’t think she’s a good person, but rather an entitled cunt who was given all her dreams and forgets people along the way, because cunts feel as though they deserve any and all fame they may get…

The whole thing is silly, but not as silly as the guy’s choice awards….as a concept and I’m sure as a show to watch on TV…a total waste of time…and remember watching anything called “guy choice” makes you a gay…


There were other hookers there…so TO SEE ALL THE GUY’S CHOICE AWARDS PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski|Events