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Archive for the Fake Tits Category

2010

24

May

Heidi Montag’s Stupid Fake Tits Eat Ice Cream of the Day

Here are some pictures of Heidi Montag feeding her new tits ice cream. It’s obviously a publcity stunt because she knows that pictures of her emotionally eating two servings of ice cream while showing off her new stupid tits are enough to get the paparazzi excited, and apparently, it’s enough to get you excited, cuz it’s far more entertaining than standing outside your ice cream shop staring at the fat mom’s and white trash stuffing their gutter faces….that’s not to say Heidi isn’t trash, it’s to say tits are hotter than the tattooed up sloppy shit with their gutter kids that I am going to spend my afternoon staring at….cuz licking ice cream is a fetish, except when the licking is done by an old queeny fag on the boardwalk I saw yesterday who I am pretty sure thought he was sucking a young vibrant cock while rocking a boner in his short shorts leaving everyone around him feeling pretty fucking uncomfortable….it is hot outside and there is no reason for me to be inside…especially since I hate my wife’s heavy breathing and the smell of this but I also hate giving Heidi Montag any fucking attention…Good thing no one reads this site…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fake Tits|Heidi Montag|Ice Cream

2010

10

May

Joslyn James’ Stupid Fake Tits Try To Stay in the Limelight of the Day

Hollywood is a septic tank of trash who move there to get noticed. I have a feeling some of them try the tradional route, before giving up because everyone there wants to get famous, and there are a ton of delusional people who think they can make it, but really have nothing going for them, so they end up stripping, or prostituting, or fucking famous people, only to have something that will get them what they came for…..and I guess in Joslyn James’ case, it worked, cuz that Tiger Woods shit blew the fuck up and made her a known name….not necessarily in a way people want to get famous, but when they are desperate enough, anything goes….proven by such stupid fake tits in the process…

If I wanted to see this many disgusting stretch marks on a tit, I’d just watch my wife shower, seriously, if I was this Joslyn James bitch, I’d be embarrassed to show this ghetto shit off, but I guess it’s all she has going for, it’s her claim to fame, the only reason she gets paid, so as shitty as they are, or as run down as they are, she’s gotta use them to pay the fucking bills….and the whole thing is pretty fucking ridiculous…cuz girls like this behind under black lights that hide these imperfections…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fake Tits|Joslyn James

2010

09

Apr

Heidi Montag’s Tits in The Hills Promo Shot of the Day

I still don’t really understand why Heidi Montag would jack her tits up like this. I thought that whole stupid fake tits, fake hair, Pamela Anderson vibe was dead…. and girls realized that to be the hottest thing in Hollywood you had to be a little more creative than all the white trash blonde every stripclub has at least 3 of…..but I guess that would be giving her too much credit….because this is Heidi Montag and she is fucking useless and now that the Hills are over, so is she….but probably doesn’t want to be so it may be an interesting nose dive into desperation to get noticed that will probably involve her getting fucked by black dudes that she’ll claim she did for Jesus or some other lie she’s been spewing because she is the fucking devil…only time will tell…

Posted in:Fake Tits|Heidi Montag

2010

25

Mar

Shauna Sand and Her New Purse Carrier of the Day

I don’t know if you’ve seen the Shauna Sand Sex Tape but she’s got a pretty scary pussy, one you probably wouldn’t put in a white bikini, unless you had some duct tape, or really any moisture barrier, but Shauna Sand, doesn’t really give a fuck what people think, proven by her bottom feeding sex tape making, and well pretty much everything else about her that makes me think she was abused as a kid. From fake tits, to fake hair and fake lips in stripper shoes all for male attention to fill some void….and the real sad thing in all this is that she replaced her last homosexual boy toy with some new homosexual boy toy, who I guess has more skills at carrying her purse…

Either way, this should be illegal.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Boy Toy|Disgusting|Fake Tits|Shauna Sand|White Bikini

2010

04

Mar

Nikki Sixx Overcompensates with his Hooker of the Day

Nikki Sixx looks like an old little jewish woman who has had too much plastic surgery after spending the day getting her hair and make-up done at the salon for her grandson’s bar mitzvah , so there’s no surprise that he’s trying to over-compensate for his 5 foot 5 stature and very likely homosexuality by hiring some stripper trash to walk around with her trash fake tits and flat ass body in a see through outfit cuz stripper trash has no fucking shame especially when getting paid, and the whole thing is a serious fucking joke…I seriously haven’t seen someone with millions of dollars try this hard in a long fucking time…I mean dude can just give up the act and rot away in a mansion somewhere…but instead he makes public appearances with this shit and I guess I can’t really complain cuz I shouldn’t really care and I don’t…but I just can’t help but find the whole thing seriously fucking pathetic.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fake Tits|Hooker|Nikki Sixx|See Thru|Trash

2010

03

Mar

Mary Carey Shows Off her Fake Tits of the Day

Mary Carey is really fucking ugly, yet she gets paid to fuck and people pay to watch her fuck and that just really confuses me. I understand people are into some really sick shit, I understand that anything weird you can think of that people have masturbated to, whether dog shit in the park, or used condoms in the back alley, or fat wives, or diseased hookers, or even shit covered anus, there is a fetish for everything, but I still don’t understand where Mary Carey fits into the equation….I guess really attractive girls get professional jobs, leaving the porn industry with limited options of addicts, freaks, or ugly bitches they have to make look presentable, or maybe they give her work cuz she has stupid fake tits, and despite stupid fake tits being easy to acquire, only stupid bitches bother getting them, leaving the talent pool kinda shallow, but I still think they should have kept her workin’ the make-up department or really anywhere that kept her off camera because I find her vile. I even ask her about why she’s so ugly on Twitter , but she just blocked me, cuz I guess the truth hurts…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fake Tits|Mary Carey

2010

01

Mar

Pam Anderson’s Old Fake Tits Giving Envelopes Hep C of the Day


I thought people who protested Peta were supposed to “rather go nude than wear fur” or get body painted like animals and thrown into cages. The kind of thing where everyone who got the press release got all excited cuz it sounds hot in theory and makes it out to see the shit go down, only to realize the only people who get nude for fur, or who get body painted for the ethical treatment of animals are fucking bull dykes, with beer belly’s and shitty tits thanks to the hormones they’ve been taking to become a dude. You know the same bitches who spell “Women” with a “Y” so it reads “Womyn” and they can say shit like “Taking the men out of the womyn” cuz they are fucking dykes and that’s what dykes do….

Here is Pam Anderson supporting animal rights, even though her original fake tits were tested on animals before allowed in humans, and somewhere out there is a cat with DDs they don’t want you to know about, and she’s doing it by giving envelopes her hepatitis while fully clothed in some really horrible unsexy outfit, pretty much making this campaign obsolete. The whole idea of getting Pam Anderson on board is so she walks around in a one-piece, not so that she dresses like your grandmother going to bed, even though she’s almost old enough to be a grandmother….and the real question is who really fucking cares….I’m thinking no one….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Fake Tits|old|Pam Anderson

2009

02

Dec

Sophie Turner and her Fake Tits of the Day

I don’t know who this bitch is but I think she’s probably a Pamela Anderson impersonator….or at least a stripper who saw Pamela Anderson get famous in the 90s because of her fake hair and fake tits and figured she could do the same fucking thing easily, all she needed was 5,000 dollars and a bottle of peroxide, but I guess it wasn’t as easy as she thought, because she didn’t anticipate that thousands of other sluts would also take Pam Anderson’s lead and got the fake tits and fake hair and now there’s enough of these bitches to form a fucking army that could take people out with their potent smell of STDs they got trying to get ahead in life…or with their killer blowjob skills they got from all the fucking practice over the decades of trying to be relevant…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Fake Tits|Sophie Turner

2009

16

Nov

Joanna Krupa Naked for Playboy of the Day

joanna krup playboy

Joanna Krupa has been trying to solidify herself as famous or relevant by taking her clothes off for the last 8 years and the best job that she’s got in all those years is a gig on Dancing with the Stars, something designed for has-beens who had no more hope of making a comeback or having a career but did have a lot of time on their hands and were desperate to find something to keep themselves busy due to the suicidal thoughts they were constantly having and their therapists orders because otherwise they’d be found hanging from the rafters, cuz they sold their soul to the devil so many years ago, thinking their peak was just the beginning and nothing would get lower than that and now they are paying like they were Lindsay Lohan by humilating themselves thru dance.

So instead of being someone who became a nobody holding on for sanity on a show that happened to get famous, she was an actual nobody who figured the show would help get her out having no work, despite her willingness to show off her fake tits, since she did spend her yearly income on them in hopes of making more money as a bottom feeder, you know titties as a tool to get noticed….and now she’s doing December 2009 Playboy, because when people are watching and you are a household name for the first time in your life…you gotta pull all the stops and really saturate the market with you.

The only problem I have with this bitch getting naked for fame like she always had, hopefully with a better outcome now that she’s a household name, is that she’s not flashing her fucking pussy.




Posted in:Fake Tits|Joanna Krupa|Naked|Playboy

2009

22

Oct

Tina Jordan and Her Stupid Fake Tits of the Day

It always amazes me when I see that women like this actually exist. The good news is that she does exactly what you would assume she does and that is whores herself for the little attention and money she can, whether by dating Hugh Heffner and getting into Playboy back in the early 2000s, or doing pictorial’s for SPLAT magazine for paintball enthusiasts, or bottom feeding reality shows like the surreal life, making her charicature of a real person pretty acceptable, but it still amazes me when I see that people like this actually exist….so fuck you.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Fake Tits|Tina Jordan

2009

21

Oct

Daisy De La Hoya Fake Tit Trash of the Day

I am guessing Oscar De La Hoya’s been hit in the fucking head one too many times, because his idea of quality pussy, is pretty fucking twisted. I can only assume it was his first generation poor Mexican dream to end up with some quality fake tit, fake blonde pussy who graced the pages of Playboy because in the ghetto he was raised in, that was the sign of fucking success or some shit, because nothing else really explains why he would be fucking this whore, other than homosexuality, but then I realized that she isn’t a product of his cross-dressing homoerotic fantasies and she’s not Shanna Moakler or any of the other twats he’s seduced in his fishnets, but she is instead some reality show trash who is his niece and not one of his sex toys, but that doesn’t change the fact that she is disgusting.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Daisy De La Hoya|Fake Tits|Trash

2009

12

Aug

Victoria Silvstedt’s Fake Tits of the Day

I figured I’d post these pictures of Victoria Silvstedt because fake tits are so fucking impresses, not only does all it take is 5,000 dollars to have a pair of your own, an amount of money that even a hurtbag like me could muster up if I really felt insecure about my tits, but they also give a false sense of confidence that propels girls into some next level whore behavior that usually leaves them getting their tits grabbed by strangers but sometimes if they are lucky they get jobs working for really rich dudes as a paid pussy….

Posted in:Fake Tits|Implants|Victoria Silvstedt

2009

11

May

Audrina’s Fake Titties in a White Dress of the Day

Audrina may be useless, but her tits aren’t. Here are some pictures of them holding up a dress for Mother’s Day and her birthday. I wonder what else they can do. I am thinking act as a pretty good punching bag that I’d like to take out all my rage on, hopefully leaving her passed out in the gutter, naked and crying, or maybe as a nice landing pad for my cum after I’m done hate fucking her. I know I have nothing really interesting to say about her, but that’s because there’s nothing interesting about her and all I’m left with is frustration about why I’m not Audrina Patridge and no matter how long I close my eyes wishing that I was, I always see the same disgusting reflection in the mirror. So if anything, maybe Audrina isn’t useless, because she’s succeeded at making me hate myself more than I already do. Happy Fucking Birthday, Cunt.

Here is the video of her and her fake tits…..

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Fake Tits|Implants

2008

31

Dec

Lisa Rinna’s Got Good Fake Tits for New Years Eve of the Day

The real reason I hate breast implants is because the girls who get them change their mousy attitudes into something I find annoying. They become the Spring Break college girl who I hate, and their new found confidence is irritating for a guy who likes girls who have no confidence. I don’t like the new found attention they get over a set of tits and I don’t like that they get addicted and keep getting refills like shit was Subway, and end up looking like robots with hardened silicone busting out of the seams to match their usually hardened face, but every once in a while a Lisa Rinna comes along with her plastic surgery addicted face and her set of fake tits that I guess she’s kept hanging for a bunch of years, cuz shit aren’t offensive and almost look like they’d be good enough to take a nap on and by nap I mean titty fuck…..now all she’s gotta do is lift that melting ass and she’d be a half decent 50 year old plastic piece of shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Fake Tits|Lisa Rinna

2008

29

Dec

Kelly Rowland’s Fake Tits in a Bikini of the Day

Two people asked me if I was gay this weekend. Maybe the meds brought out the showtune performing poofter in me, maybe it was the fact that I was offering to send them a video of me fucking a tranny like she was Audrina Patridge, by sucking on her dick, which for the record, doesn’t exist, at least not that I know of, but I think it has to do with me constantly ripping apart female celebrity vagina, but not the kind of vagina ripping I am into, like it was my fucking job, not that it is, because I am not into work, for their imperfections. One guy asked me when I was going to turn the site into a Lance Bass Dancing with the stars man-pussy fan site, because I never say anything positive about these famous sluts, and I act like none of them are up to my standards, like I was trying to cover something up, like homosexuality, but it’s just strategy man, I try to lower their self esteem to increase my chances of licking their assholes while Lance Bass strokes his dick in the corner, because sex without Lance Bass is not sex at all, no matter what your orientation is, true story.

Here’s Kelly Rowland in her bikini…with her modest fake tits, with a fat chick to make her look skinny all because she’s insecure, the way i like them.

Posted in:Bikini|Fake Tits|Kelly Rowland