People seem to love Shakira now more than ever because of her comeback in that video everyone jerks off to, so some fashion magazine got her in some photoshoot where they dressed her in some fetish gear and I guess the whole thing is not worth complaining about, but I was always disgusted by girls in their 30s, so to me, Shakira died 2 years ago and no matter what she does will come across as trying too hard to hold onto a time when I was jerking off to her breasts that were small and humble, in a time before her hips didn’t lie….
Everyone focused so much attention on Miley Cyrus and her virginity or slutty behavior when she was supposed to be this wholesome rolemodel to young girls everywhere. Meanwhile, the producers of Gossip Girl have created their own teenage whore and they don’t even try to hide the shit. From fetish leather skirts for old men to fantasize about cumming all over them, to her porn hair for old men to fantasizing cumming all over it, to the thick make-up and old men fantasize about contributing to by cumming all over it, and the whole thing is just far too crazy for me to grasp how they get away with the shit, it’s like sex offending or kiddie porn, since you can’t fuck girls under 18 in the USA but you can in Canada so I don’t get cockteased by her like the producers want me to, there are hotter 16 year olds in the local Starbucks I can legally fuck and masturbate to, so I really don’t find her hot, but someone does and they are over-sexualizing her and I find the whole thing kinda funny…but not all that funny…
You can stop sending me this video. I have seen it. Eminem says he peed on Mariah Carey. His album drops in a few days. Statements about pissing on Mariah Carey tie in nicely with the album launch. I don’t really care either way, people like peeing on people and people like getting peed on, we shouldn’t make such a big deal about it, especially when it’s an obvious cry for attention, a “Look at Me Everyone” situation…like the time I told the local papers I Scatted out with Paris Hilton when she was in town, only no one listened to me, because I am not eminem….
Here’s a fuckin’lie for you. Rihanna in fetish gear. The reason I know it’s a lie. Because she wouldn’t have been such a fucking whiner about getting punched in the fucking face by her boyfriend, because anyone who is really a dominatrix, knows that’s just his way of saying he wants his dick in her mouth, not that she sucks dick, according to my friend’s theory, Bajan’s aren’t Haitian when it comes to cocksuckin’ which is another reason why the rubber fishnets are just a fuckin’ lie. It’s upsetting, but I’d still be down to cum all over the shit.
After posting some topless pictures of Bree Olson that a friend of mine took in her hotel room during the AVN awards in Vegas because he’s got the in with the pornstars and wanted me to tell the world that he’s better than you, not that we needed to tell you that anyone is better than you. I mean, I could have said I had a friend with pancreatic cancer who just filed for bankrupcy, his wife left him for his best friend and cancer doctor who was in the process of saving his life, and now he’s torn whether to continue treatments or just kill himself and you’d be envious of him because a woman actually married him, even though she’s a fat cheating cunt.
Either way, some dude sent this video in of Bree talking at some conference about how she likes dirty sex, getting her faced shoved in the toilet, you know keeping it classy and making her parents proud, because I guess she thinks the more hardcore you go, the more relevant you are in the industry, or maybe it’s because she’s so desensitized that it’s the only way to go. I just know I don’t find it hot, but you probably will, so watch it.
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I have a crush on Rihanna. It may be because I’ve never had the opportunity to get with a black girl in my life of perversion, or maybe I’m just drawn to her story of success. You know a small island girl who randomly sleeps with a superstar record producer when he is on vacation away from his fat fiance and gets a record deal to keep her mouth shut, who manages to turn that deal into hit after fucking hit after fucking hit, all while performing in dominatrix and fetish gear and not taking it to the pussy grabbing level, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with having never been with a black chick and sitting here on a whole pile of jungle fever in my pants, which I’d take any day over that other african disease…AIDS. Yes, it’s not just the gay disease anymore.
Some fetishes are weird, some are scary, some make me uncomfortable. This one just makes me laugh. It’s called cake farting and it’s brought to you by the weirdos who brought us pudding fart, and shit is pretty self-explanatory. Girls stick their asses in cakes and fart the shit up before the dude licks the goodness off their stinky asses. It’s one of those things that you wonder where it was first conceived. Like how did dude approach his girlfriend for the first time with this shit one night after fantasizing about it since he was a kid and used to get boners at desert time. You know his chick asks him what his number one fantasy is, expecting him to say anal, or handcuffs or a threesome and instead he decides to drop the bomb because it’s eating him up inside. I wonder how many girls ran away from his request before one actually bit and agreed to this, and that whole build up to this preview video makes the whole thing even more awkward than this video alone.
I guess it could be just a product of the internet and all it’s weirdness where everything’s already been done, people are desensitized and can’t get hard to porn anymore and none of that really matters because knowing people jerk off to this is real fucking comedy to me.
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So Tyra Banks gets some dude who has some weird sexual fetish on her show. This dude gets off when girls stomp on him, so when he brings a girl home from the bar, he doesn’t try to stick his dick in her, he tries to get her to walk all over him.
So Tyra’s decides to show the public the dude’s fetish by 12 girls from the audience to walk all over the motherfucker and for a dude who gets off to being stomped on by 1 chick, this has to be like having a fuckin’ orgy. It’s on some paradise the suicide bombers reach with their 78 virgins or whatever the fuck they get, only in this case Tyra is god. It’s like telling her that I like blowjobs and I show up to find 12 everyday girls with their mouth opens ready to service me, only blow jobs would get censored from tv, but dudes who get of to getting walked on is considered fine for out kids to see. It’s a little backwards and part of the reason my wife won’t suck my dick, but would love to try walking all over me, she finds the whole concept fascinating after watching the show and her friend’s house and actually came home asking me to try it out but I won’t let her, partially because neither this fetish nor my wife turn me on but mainly because of safety reasons because she’s pushing 300 lbs and she’ll shatter my rib cage, make my organs explode and I’m not in the mood to di
I am always fucking hung over fridays and have nothing to say because I have no idea what the fuck I did last night, but whatever it was, I left my brain wherever I ended up which was probably the gutter. I do know that I am seeing double and there’s nothing wrong with seeing double when you’re watching your useless wife try to get your limp dick up because it makes you feel like you’re having the threesome she never agree to have, but there is a problem with it when you’re lookin’ at Hadyen Panettiere because one of her is too much, and that’s only half the size of normal person.
Either way, here she is trying on shoes for Stuart Weitzman. I don’t know shoes but I guess Stuart Weitzman has a line of clown shoes or circus performing fireman boots that Hayden is the spokesperson for, and if he doesn’t he should.
Since there’s a fetish for everything, I can only assume that Uma is hitting 2 of them in these pictures, one being a big scary hand fetish and the other being a girl in mittens fetish.
I know how you generally only try to get with girls with small hands because you like the way they make your dick bigger, so big hands intimidate you and make you feel like less of a man. That’s probably part of the reason why winter is Uma Thurman’s man’s favorite time of year, because he can encourage her to cover them shits up without lookin’ like too much of an asshole. I can also assume he never takes her apple picking.
Here are some pictures of Rihanna in some V-Neck showing off her tits and fishnet stockings, which isn’t really that big of a deal considering that she dresses like this 300 pound dominatrix I used to hang out with a few years ago. I kinda liked the way she’d chain me up and treat me like the useless piece of shit I am.
Knowing that Rihanna is just a poser, and just looks like a candy-coated version of a Fetish mistress and is not actually the kind of girl who would shove things in your ass for money while making you beg them to piss on your face, kinda takes away from the experience, but I’d rather have a girl pretending than not actually trying, because that way I can look at pictures of her ass in PVC and reality is, pictures of Rihanna’s ass in PVC is probably as close as we’ll ever get to seeing her naked, so we take what we can get.
It’s like every time I end up in a club and these half naked girls are all grinding up on my dick like they are going to go home with me, and I’m thinking how much of a slut this girl’s gotta be for actually letting me do this shit to her and how the night’s going to get so much better when we take this back to her place, before realizing that bitch isn’t being honest about being a drunk slut like we see in the movies and that she’s just acting like one when she’s out because she thinks that’s how she’s supposed to act, leaving me alone, forcing me to come home to a fate worse than death, and that’s my fat wife’s stench, but I still welcome the cocktease, because it’s better than no tease. Cuddles.
Festishes always make me laugh, especially when they take over a person’s life and everything they do revolves around that fetish. Last night I went to a strip club and chatted up the door check chick. She was from Orlando and moved up here for her boyfriend who she met on Halloween 4 years ago and married on halloween 2 years ago, and loves halloween. I guess having a thing for halloween isn’t really a fetish – it makes you a goth but either way her life revolves around Halloween like this mother fucker’s life revolves around bitches wrestling. The last time I saw two women wrestling, I was walking by a park and two inuit prostitutes were fighting over a 40 oz of malt liquor. I’m talkin serious fighting like gauging each others eyes and shit. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hard.