I used to hate Funny or Die with a passsion. I didn’t know why, but I like to think it had to do with the figure skating movie Blade of Steel that Will Ferrell was in making me hate everything the motherfucker did. But as I’ve got older, I’ve decided to care less about everything, it’s been a pretty cleansing process and although I am still the bitter hateful motherfucker I tend to be, I don’t actually really hate anything, except maybe Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, I just refuse to carry that shit around with me because it really doesn’t matter enough to affect my mood.
So when I saw this video of Molly Sims, a girl I guess known for being in her bikini a lot, despite her flat ass, I figured it was kinda clever, because making fun of yourself is something I can appreciate so that’s why I’m sharing it with you.
I hate 99% of FunnyorDie’s content. I hate the people I meet who love the shit. I hate the type of comedy it promotes and the type of copycat amateurs it has created. If you ever come across someone who starts bragging about being on featured on FunnyorDie, you will realize why.
I hate 95% of anything Will Farrell has been touched, except maybe Old School, Anchorman and a couple of highclass escorts he’s been involved in, but in my defense, I haven’t seen those since they came out and I’ve been drunk the past couple of decades, so maybe I just saw them on a good day. I do know that I recently saw the skating movie and I was begging for a plane to crash into the building like it was 9/11. Seriously that fucking bad.
I hate the word funbag. It reminds me of college jocks, slappin’ dicks in excitement for the hot set of tits they saw on this broad at Spring Break, you know the one drunk and based out that they gang raped.
So natural, I hate this Denise Richards funny or die clip about her funbags…
Lindsay Lohan is making a comeback. I mean if you consider FunnyorDie a comeback. I used to hate on FunnyorDie, but in the end, I think getting celebrities to do viral videos is a fucking goldmine and they are a hell of a lot smarter than me.
This video is of Lohan’s fake E-Harmony profile video and she makes fun of herself, she looks good, and it may not do anything for her, but it should remind all of you that Lindsay is a superstar, she’s not going anywhere, and as much as you all think she’s done and in the fuckin’ gutter, she’s not. I have a feeling she knows exactly what’s going on despite being known to be a little emotional, shit’s got too many people involved to go awry.
So watch it and start showing Lindsay some love, because I know I want to…all over her tits.
So Funny or Die came out with another political viral video with a celebrity friend trying to be ironic, or funny, or whatever the fuck this is and it is garbage. If you haven’t seen it, it’s Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones (who?) playing in a bed with puppies as their response to the economic crisis. I am not the smartest guy around so I don’t really get what they are getting at, maybe that the public is ignoring the real issues and focusing on the fluffy materialistic shit, or that we are distracted by shitting and pissing creatures we think are our friends but are really just using us for food, when the real issue is that people like WIll Farrel, Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba, Hayden Panettiere, companies like Funny or Die, NBC, Viacom, MTV, Saturday Live, Lorne Michaels, Tina Fey and every other celebrity voicing their stupid celebrity ideals are worth millions of dollars. So maybe if they were to shut the fuck up and give up half of their multimillion dollar fortunes and put it back into the economy, instead of being greedy cocksuckers with nice houses and cars and a lazy fucking lifestyle that allows them to have the free time to make this smut, the economy would be in a better fuckin’ place. Stop trying to relate to me rich girl and instead of playing with puppies maybe you should fuck yourself….seriously…like stick random things inside you…ideally while gagged with an apple like a pig at a roast, not that you’d know anything about pork, Jew…but at least the video would have some kind of substance, rather than this piss.
So now that Hayden Panettiere is 18, she feels like she’s got the right to talk politics and preach her bullshit opinion. Here she is for Funny Or Die, making Will Farrell richer while making videos that aren’t funny, doing some pretty weak sarcasm telling people to vote for McCain if they want to die and that they should also take up drinking and smoking and having unprotected sex with random people, which I have to agree with, but I am not saying it to be funny and I don’t want to get political here because it’s boring, especially coming from someone with no business talking politics, so I guess what it comes down to is that Hayden Panettiere should DIE because that video was a bust, as was this post, but at least you can look her dropping the f-word while jerking off to her pictures now…..
I hate Will Ferrell and everything he does. I don’t really know why, maybe it’s because I don’t find him funny anymore and just think he’s annoying as fuck and does bad movie after bad movie and still gets respect despite being a repetitive asshole or maybe it’s because he moved online with this FunnyOrDie shit and is stepping on my fuckin’ toes by being way more successful than me on my own turf, because I like to think I pioneered the internet from my Salvation Army pissed stained couch in my shitty apartment that I call my command center, but it doesn’t really matter, I’m a hater anyway you dice it and nothing they produce makes me laugh especially with that bias.
So, last night when at a hot young girl’s house because she offered to make me dinner, she’s got Leno on and they feature this Paris Hilton response to McCain using her image in one of his ads and the concept is alright, because seeing her solve the energy crisis while the politicians can’t come to a logical solution and fight like girls about it, instead of actually making moves to make the world a better place is alright, but the biggest joke in the whole thing was her intro wear she sounded like a retarded 14 year old and made claims of being hot while wearing a bikini, when the rest of the world knows that she’s over and done with. If anything McCain’s just showing his age and disconnect to the public by using her to represent one of the biggest celebrities out there, when the reality is that she’s just a fuckin’ nothing rich kid and that disconnect may have ruined his campaign for anyone on the fence about who to vote for.
I’d be more supportive of this site if they had some kind of voting widget that if the public voted something to be not funny, they would follow up with a video of the person in it actually dying.