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Archive for the Groupie Category

2009

04

Aug

CSI Guy and His Hot Girlfriend in her Bikini of the Day

Ewwwww Interracial kissing….I can’t believe this hasn’t been banned yet…you know that there aren’t laws about this shit…especially considering in some states you can’t fuck a woman up the ass legally, but it’s ok for a black man to kiss up on a girl who isn’t black…next thing you know they’re gonna have the right to ride in the back of the bus, or even have their own TV station.

The exerpt above was written by me in 1950, in a lot of ways, I predicted the future and my words should be seen as gospel and not smut….What it really comes down to is that girls love black dudes and black dudes love any girl who isn’t black so the whole thing makes perfect sense, especially when you give the dude some celebrity status, throw him on a TV show and make him okay to bring home to mom and dad and rich enough to pay child support after he deadbeat dads on her for new pussy, even when this pussy he’s already with is pretty fuckin’ substantial…

On a sidenote I know a married white woman who carries a picture of Gary Dourdan in her wallet cuz he’s her fuckin’ dream guy and good for him for breakin’ down barriers, it’s 2009 motherfuckers, the year to make some beige babies….

Here’s a video of what happened to a black dude riding with a white girl….

Posted in:Bikini|Gary Dourdan|Groupie

2009

20

Jul

Simon Cowell Gets a 100,000,000 Dollar Lap Dance of the Day

Guess what happens when you close a hundred million dollar deal with American Idol to add to your already insane level of success you have experienced the last 10 years…you get groupie gold diggin’ bitches who convince themselves that you are hot shit because they want a record deal and an exit strategy from their shitty broke ass lives and figure you look better than the billionaire Anna Nicole Smith prostituted herself to, because they’ve seen you on TV and they like that you’re an asshole with a horrible fake tan and that’s enough to make any pussy quiver with excitement the second they meet you in person, at least enough to give you a lap dance in the middle of a club because I guess all girls are wallet fuckin’ whores and if she fucks you the best she’s ever fucked, she thinks she won’t get voted off this week and will make it to LA. Get it, that was an American Idol joke. I’m pretty clever. Admit it.

Posted in:Groupie|Simon Cowell|Slut|Whore

2009

09

Jul

David Hasselhoff’s Young Pussy of the Day

Girls are so fucked. I don’t know what the deal is with them but you’d rarely see a dude dating a 60 year old woman just because she was on TV 10 years ago, but for some reason it’s some innate shit in a chick’s brain that makes them need to jump on any guy they’ve seen on TV and it doesn’t matter if he’s good looking, if he smells, if he was on a local commercial or if he is an actual star, the fact that they were in front of a camera is enough to make their panties wet enough that they have to take the shit off and jump on a fuckin’ dick.

I don’t know if it’s groupie behavior or some wanting what they assume everyone else wants and The Hoff is like her trophy or some shit, but I know it happens all the fuckin time, even with good lookin girls and the shit just confuses me.

Posted in:David Hasselhoff|Groupie

2009

06

Jul

James Blunt with a Slut at Some Beach Party of the Day

James Blunt is a genius, sure his songs are something you can not get down to if you have a cock, unlesss that cock likes rubbin up against other cock, because there was a serious science put behind his work and that was to write the most sensitive sappy shit imanginable about fantasies all women have and that make all their panties wet, like love at first sight on the subway and other cliche love related shit all sung with a hurting voice, like he really was affected by the shit, making every pussy in the world shed a tear for the motherfucker.

Now he’s living in Ibiza, the sleaziest party spot in the world, where pussy is plentiful and every single one of them dreams the next hit Blunt single will be about them and how they broke his heart….

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Posted in:Beach Party|Groupie|James Blunt

2009

25

Mar

Entourage and His Ugly Groupie of the Day

The guy in Entourage was seen leaving a club with some ugly groupie, I hope dude was drunk, because I am sure he could pull better ass than this, but then again, ugly groupies are easier to mistreat because they are just excited about having a guy go home with them in the first place, that when that dude happens to be a guy every girl wants to fuck who is on TV, they’ll go the extra step for him. That said, he’s definitely getting internal anal creampies tonight with no strings attached, if anything he’ll be able to gag her, piss on her and slap her around a bit and she’ll still leave with a smile on her face and when that goes down, I guess it doesn’t really matter how ugly the groupie is because life is about the adventure.

Posted in:Entourage|Groupie

2009

19

Mar

Russell Brand and Another Groupie of the Day

Comedian/Actor/Writer Russell Brand was seen kissing up with another groupie, a day after pictures of him in his underwear with some Asian hit. The reason he’s out hustling girls…because he can. Dude is a hot commodity internationally, and he’s gonna milk that as much as he can, and convince pussy everywhere they have a chance, while planning the next pussy to hit, until eventually, getting caught and locked the fuck down, married, have kids and end up doing it all over again, before getting caught and divorced only to do it all over again. I guess that is the empty cycle that is his life, I mean he’ll never find a soul mate because he’s always gonna be looking for fresher pussy, to share his love with the world, and as a man who has found his soulmate that’s a real tragedy, and by soulmate, I mean fat bitch who doesn’t turn me on, but covers my basic needs, and who has no self respect and lets me go out and do whatever the fuck I want only to come home and describe every single pussy I saw that wasnt hers. It’s pretty amazing.

Posted in:Groupie|Russell Brand

2009

09

Mar

Perez Hilton is So Smitten With Lady Gaga of the Day

Perez Hilton is a glitch in the internet. He was a lonely, fame hungry, ugly, identity crisis homo, with no real talent, but an obsession with celebrity, that he took to the internet and thanks to a series of events, the right time and right place bullshit, and a gay voice in an era when people were becoming more accepting of that played up fag talk, except for real gay people, who considered him to be a fucking embarassment and clown to their sexuality.

His success in undeniable, his site is huge, he makes money and he leverages his name, he gets out there and milks his shit harder than he probably milks the guy he pays for sex because even with his “website” he still can’t get groupy cock, because having a website to begin with is fucking lame, even if the public is moving towards the interent more than fuckin ever and Perez Hilton is the only bullshit URL they know.

But the truth is that he’s not a fucking journalist, he reports lies, fake exclusives and shit other people are reporting before him, he just managed to be a machine about things and have lots of people tipping him off, but when people reference his site, I laugh because it’s just a fucking blog and like any other blog, the shit is opinion based and low fuckin’ quality so that’s why he is just a glitch, maybe even a military strategy from CUBA to infiltrate America where it counts, and that is with Hollywood, because up until Obama, Americans could identify the name of Britney Spears’ kids before they could identify they Secretary of State and it would be nice if he was sent back to CUBA where he and his family belong….

That said, dude is so desperate for friends that he has embraced the attention Lady Gaga’s been giving him, because she knows he has a huge audience and if she has to sit and watch his trashy disgusting mouth down a burger like the fat big he is, it’s worth the post he’ll write about it.

So this fucking reject of a person, finally feels acceptance from famous people, and he’s fucking smitten, he is fucking glowing like a 20 year old virgin who just got with the hot chick from his high school after randomly running into her during Thanksgiving back home, and you know that everything that Perez reports about Lady Gaga will be positive because they are Best Fucking Friends and she’s given him the time of fucking day, while every other celebrity who snobs him, or calls him out for the faggot loser he is, he rips apart on his site because he is emotionally involved and his website’s all he got going for him and he’s goin’ to show them.

Whether it’s posting Lily Allen nude pics cuz they had a twitter fight, or shitting on Lohan because Sam Ronson sued him and Paris Hilton had him on payroll, the whole thing is a fucking joke and you people are the root of the problem. All it takes is to stop visiting his site and he’ll go the fuck away and if you really need to hear a gay guy in action who is actually worth reading and not a fucking hack, you should be visiting Dlisted , because at least he’s got a little edge, a unique voice, good comedic fucking timing and isn’t a suck up bitch, especially not to some ugly poser like Gaga.

Not that any of that rant matters, she uses him, he uses her, they stroke each other’s egos and give each other credibility and hand jobs since she has a dick, and there is no way this ugly bitch is not a tranny, they are pigs, at least she’s wearing fucking pants, they don’t look human and both disgust me, so maybe they’re meant for each other and all it took was the internet to bring them together.

Here’s some video of Gaga after landing in LA.

Posted in:Groupie|Lady Gaga|Perez Hilton|Smitten