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Archive for the Gym Category

2010

20

Apr

Gisele Bundchen Does the Gym of the Day

Here are some pictures of “Mom” Gisele Bundchen heading to the gym…..I’m still not covinced that she is an actual woman…and have a feeling the pregnancy was just a PR stunt to try to spin rumors that she was born a man.

Brazil is very tranny friendly, so tranny friendly that if you go there, you usually can’t tell the difference between real woman and man dressed like a woman or man who got cheap Brazilian surgery to become a woman.

She has very very hard features and before getting fired from Victoria’s Secret, she was getting a ton of negative press ripping into her for having a cock, leading to her getting fired from a company who NEVER fires any model and pretty much sign them for life….

There’s something going on here, I just don’t know what it is, and I wouldn’t mind using my dick and tongue to explore how authentic her pussy actually is, cuz I know I’d be able to feel and taste the difference between real vagina and inside-out scrotum….I don’t feel the need to go into why I know that I can feel the differnce…I just know I can and that’s all that matters…

Here is some Gisele heading to the gym.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Gym|Off-Duty Model

2010

18

Mar

Gisele’s Mom Tits of the Day

The rumor is that Gisele is working off her new baby weight and showing off her milk-filled tits, but she’s not fooling any of us…we all know she’s actually a dude they found in a small brazilian town…because men make better bikini models since they don’t get their periods…I mean Brazil is known for their trannies being very believable, so where the fuck else would the gangsters at Victoria’s Secret go to kidnap a motherfucker to work their asses off for them in exchange for their family’s freedom…who had to stage a pregnancy to justify his new breast implants…we know how it works…you’re not fooling us Gisele…or should I say George….

Either way, real tits, mom tits, fake tits on a tranny or not, she’s lookin’ better than ever…so new moms or dudes who are pretending to be new moms take some fucking notes…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Gym|Model|Mom|Tits

2010

15

Mar

Nicole Scherzinger’s Stomach Leaving the Gym of the Day

One of the most exciting days in my life was when I accidentally snuck into an event and was right next to Nicole Scherzinger…but it had nothing to do with being in the same room as this Pussycat Doll twat or her Girlicious crew, but everything to do with open bar….an invention that has made weddings something I wish I had the confidence to crash, but the one time I did crash a wedding was at some ghetto reception hall and by the time I worked my way in there, it turned out that it was an Asian wedding and I was the only non asian there, who was politely asked to leave before they pulled some ninja on me, but luckily before they did, I managed to grab a beer….ever since then, even after seeing the movie, I can’t bring myself to do it, but instead I just sit here dreaming of it, instead of finding a way to make money so that everyday feels like open bar…even when it isn’t, not that you care, but maybe you will care about Nicole Scherzinger’s tight body, cuz despite looking way too much like a Kardashian black man urinal, and just as cheesy as the Kardashians, she’s still worth noticing, I guess….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gym|Nicole Scherzinger|Stomach

2010

07

Jan

Kim Kardashian Pretends to Take her Fat Ass to the Gym of the Day

Kim Kardashian is so committed to looking like she’s into being fit. It’s like she’s either promoting weight loss products on her twitter for $10,000 a tweet, or she’s running off to the gym or releasing work out DVDs, it’s like based on her efforts to come across as a fitness guru you’d think she was a modern day Jane Fonda…until you look at her and realize it’s all a fucking lie and too fat to be Jane Fonda, or Suzanne Sommers or Susan Powers or whoever else I used to jerk off to late night and if it’s not a fuckin’ lie and she actually is this health conscious, bitch was probably destined to be 500 fucking pounds, and the sad thing is that even if she was 500 pounds, I’m sure black dudes would still pounce on her fat ass and fat titties that she’s showing off in these pics….the second she was in range…..

Here she is going to the gym with her beast sister…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Fat Ass|Gym|Kim Kardashian|Tits

2010

06

Jan

Mary Cary Leaving the Gym Lookin’ Like Shit of the Day

It always amazes me that people watch this bitch have sex….seriously….I am not one for high standards…but there comes a point in every pervert’s life where he’s got to turn off the DVD, or click the “X” on the browser because shit is just so bad it doesn’t deserve your boner or approval and I’m the kind of guy who gets amazed at how bad some of the shit I get off to is…so that’s saying a lot about Mary Cary and just how sick she is….and here she is leaving the gym….I guess because she was tired of being called a fat pig…thinking that her weight problem was the reason she looked like shit when in reality she is the reason she looks like shit…if you know what I mean….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Fat|Gym|Mary Cary

2009

11

Nov

Anna Paquin Goin to the Gym in Tight Pants of the Day


I should spend more time at the gym, not because I am fat, unhealthy and borderline dead, but because I just realized that they gym is probably not filled with fat chicks, like I previously assumed. The reason being that fat chicks are fat and the reason they are fat is from not going to the gym and if you do get the occassional fat chick in the gym she’ll probably only last a few weeks before going back to her sitting and baked goods lifestyle plan. So here I am missing out on hot chicks with tight bodies in tight clothing in really sexual and compromising positions and then there are gyms with pools and teenage girls doing their lifeguarding course and the whole thing is fucking amazing, unfortunately, I’m too lazy to bother, but if you’re horny enough it may do you some good on a whole lot of levels and that’s something to think about….something else to think about is how sloppy this Anna Paquin chick looks on her way to the gym in a pair of tight pants, bitch is in entertainment and I’m sure she’s not about entertaining us with her unfit sloppy body, she needs to step it the fuck up and here are the pics……

Pics via INF

Posted in:Anna Paquin|Gym|Leggings

2009

11

Nov

Audrina Goes Shows Off Her Moneymaker in Tight Pants of the Day

I thought Audrina was a retard, you know dumb as fucking shit, but at least she realizes that her body is all she has going for her and that it won’t last forever so she better work that fucking thing out as hard as she can to overstay her welcome just a little bit longer and the sad thing about this is that she’s got more to offer the world than I do, mainly because she has a pussy and a dream, usually a good combination to get things done and here are pictures of her in tight pants that show off where her legs end and that money making pussy of hers starts.

Pics via INF
And Pics via Bauer
And Pics via Fame

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Gym|Tights|Workout

2009

23

Oct

Kirstin Cavallari Hits the Gym of the Day

I like to laugh at Kristin Cavallari, not because she’s Kristin with an “i”, which is fucking obnoxious in and of itself, but I guess it differentiates her from all the other Kristen’s who spell their names like they’re supposed to, you know since she’s an individual or some shit, but because she had the balls to think think she was bigger and better than her MTV fake reality show and walked only to come back when the money started drying up and she realized it is all she’s good for.

It’s almost like the time my favorite stripper at one of the clubs I used to frequent told me she was going to move to LA to be an actress, and my cynicism laughed in her face, in a “yeah, that’s gonna work out for you, see you next week when you get back” kinda way, and sure enough 6 months later, there she was, back on stage, only about 10 years older because the guy she had met who promised her the LA career, was actually a pimp and she spent those months on drugs and whoring herself……only to come back where she left off, substantially more damaged than she was before, all because of an insane fucking dream….only Cavallari just isn’t as hot…and probably doesn’t have as good of a stage show….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gym|Kristin Cavallari

2009

10

Jul

Hilary Duff Goin to the Gym of the Day

Hilary Duff should sue whatever gym she’s leaving because it looks like they are ripping her off, you know taking her money despite every day she weighs in a couple pounds heavier, I guess it could be because she’s settling down in a relationship, or maybe she’s sad and eating away her pain, or maybe she’s just rebelling against all fitness and healthy diet after the pressure she’s had all these years to not be her naturally fat self and instead trick the world into thinking she was some tight bodied teen. I’m sure you’ve all seen it all before, you know running into the hot young girl you jerked off to 10 years after the fact and not even recognizing her because she was a fat, sloppy piece of shit 30 year old pig, only with in Hilary Duff’s case, we get to watch the slow and steady demise, so take it in when you can as shit is only gonna get worse…..

Posted in:Gym|Hilary Duff

2009

27

Jan

Kim Kardashian Talks About Her Fitness Video of the Day

So Kim Kardashian’s still doing her workout video, which means she’s gotta get in shape before they start filming, which is exactly what I want out of the person I am using to inspire me to get in shape. You know, someone who was a fat slob of a girl known for having a fat ass and fat tits, who decided that should could make money off this great new concept, so she goes into hardcore workout mode between now and April, so by the time of shooting the DVD she’ll be in good enough shape to make the people who buy it, not use it for jerk off purposes while eating donuts. But you all know as soon as the DVD is shot, she’ll be back to her old ways, this lie is just a money making scheme and I hope it fails, as it fucking should, because she’s got no fucking business talking about anything that involves being fit.

Posted in:Gym|Kim Kardashian|Work Out Tape

2008

16

Sep

Jennifer Aniston Leaving the Gym of the Day

Jennifer Aniston is leaving the gym because staying in shape is important, especially when your aging body can’t land a husband, baby daddy or boyfriend and even more necessary when you’re Greek and predisposed to having a hug fucking dumpy ass.

Her desperation reminds me of my friend who was equally desperate to find love. He got to the point of desperation where he had exhausted masturbation but couldn’t manage to get a girl to sleep with him, and refused to get a whore because he said that would make him feel like a loser. I would remind him that he is a loser and he’d just blow me off. As time went on, he got more paranoid that everyone around him knew he couldn’t get laid and I realized that it had gone too far one day when buying beer with him at the grocery store and dude picked up a box of tampons. I asked him why the fuck he was picking up tampons and he just ignore me. We got to the cash and when the clerk went to scan the tampons, my friend chimed in and said something along the lines of “I hate buying these for my girlfriend, it’s so embarrassing”, I looked at him like he had lost his fucking mind and he continued, “but I guess it’s not as bad as me not getting laid for the next week, if you know what I mean”….and I figured I had to stop the insanity so I ratted him out to the clerk for not having a girlfriend and that he’s just being crazy at which point he freaked out on me and ran out of the store and I haven’t heard from him since.

Either way, here’s Aniston…

Posted in:Gym|Jennifer Aniston|Spandex

2008

09

Sep

Hilary Duff Leaves the Gym of the Day

I got a Job Offer. This is the first time anyone has ever offered me work. I think it is spam, the email kind, but that doesn’t matter, because it’s a job offer none the less. The shit’s pretty intriguing because I always wanted to be a migrant worker and feel like I was living in India, stealing american jobs because it’s so much more cost effective. You know like working a call center in India for Dell or Microsoft support so I can sit there and talk to Americans all day, confusing them, making them hold on the line for hours on end and never really giving them a straight answer or helping them out because it is a dream of mine, especially under the hot Indian sun in an overpopulated city and overpopulated office that smells like shit and looks like shit because it is brown.

Here is that job offer…..

We offer a part time job on your computer.

Job Description:

We will provide you with the texts for our employees with the important information and you will
correct the texts as an english speaking person and send them back to us.

Salary:

We don’t have a fixed salary for this vacancy. We will pay you $7.00 for every 1Kb of the
corrected text. You will get paid at the END of each month. Every month your salary will be
different as it depends on your activity.

And here is some Hilary Duff leaving the gym action because she doesn’t need a job and can run around doing nothing all day while we sit here at our computers distracting ourselves from work by lookin’ at her tits, not that I have a job, but you probably do and you probably also like Hilary Duff so here she is…..

Posted in:Gym|Hilary Duff|Uncategorized

2008

05

Aug

Britney Spears Leaving a Gym Wearing a Bra of the Day

Britney Spears has really made a comeback and that upsets me. I was so happy when I found out that she wasn’t this cookie cutter popstar and actually had some mental issues, that I now think were just staged and an extension of being a lazy rich brat and not actual mental illness, and I hate seeing her leaving the gym everyday, slowly getting back to where she once was, becasue I like my women crazy. I am talking feces throwing, running around naked crazy because crazy girls are crazy in bed and well put together, mentally stable girls are just fuckin’ boring. So, I need a girl who pisses herself in public places just because she feels like it and smells like a men’s washroom without a urinal cake at all times because the snowsuit she wears in the middle of summer hasn’t been washed in a decade, just because I know she’ll be too busy punching herself in the face to say no to me.

Posted in:Bra|Britney Spears|Gym

2007

19

Jun

I am – Jessica Simpson Goes to the Gym of the Day

jessica_simpson_top.jpg

The thing that annoys me about girls is that when they get dumped they take shit personal. They start hitting the fucking gym to reclaim their desirability. It’s like animal instinct if the dude you were with doesn’t want to fuck you anymore and he wants to fuck younger, hotter, tighter girls than you and you have to show the motherfucker what he’s missing out on.

What would make a fuck of a lot more sense is if you put this kind of effort into yourself when you’re together, then maybe motherfucker wouldn’t have had to dump you because your fat ass doesn’t turn him on anymore and the girl down the street who does yoga in her front yard for him to see is all he can fucking think about….but you had to get fucking lazy and you couldn’t have had that fucking Yoga ass he wants.

I remember when I was in my 20s they used to say that even Cindy Crawford’s husband gets bored of her and wants new pussy, she was all the fucking rage at the time, considered one of the hottest bitches out there. We’ve all heard the expression that the only thing better than pussy is new pussy. Well I will argue that if your pussy is the hottest pussy in the fucking neighborhood, your pussy is the pussy I am going to stick by.

In the end, the joke is on the guys who dump the girl anyway. They usually spend the next 3 years trying to find another chick worth getting involved with and in the process end up drinking a lot, getting fat and jerking off a lot. Where as girls are getting dick within 24 hours of shit and within a few months Jessica Simpson will be back to her hot self again…..

Posted in:Gym|Jessica Simpson|Legs|Unsorted