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Archive for the Halloween Category




Shitty Halloween Round-Up of the Day

I didn’t leave my house this Halloween, because I don’t leave my house ever, I figure the internet was invented for me to experience life without getting off my soiled couch, and I could probably get the best angle of all the girls dressed like sluts, because you know that this is a great photo-op for their social media, so why bother seeing their dumpy exposed asses in public, when I can just watch the lie they’ve polarized unfold….it’s cuter like that..

Here are some celebs in costumes that I don’t think deserve their own post…

They include Rihanna, Nicola Peltz, Taylor Swift, Kate Hudson, Elle Fanning, Ashley Tisdale, Sara Underwood…some you may know and remember, most you probably won’t care to look at – but they are in costumes, even though their whole life is a costume…but we don’t need to go into the authenticity of these idiots…let’s just look at their tits.


Posted in:Halloween




Celebrity Halloween Costumes So Far of the Day

It is Halloween and people are going fucking nuts. I was just in LA and the hottest girls are always the fame whore wannabe celebrity LA chicks who aren’t at the exclusive parties, but are working fucking hard to one day be, just walking Sunset half naked, in various creative costumes, trying to get noticed and outdo each other, because that’s what competitive quest for fame is all about….

The actual celebrities, are just typical, disconnected and obvious in their played out costumes, that you’ll still like, because you appreciate disconnected celebrity bullshit, especially when in costume….even though you should be focused on the everyday girls fighting to get noticed, they have more to prove!

My biggest fail was not going to the Playboy party when I could have…I just assumed Playboy was dead…which I guess makes sense since it is Halloween and the dead celebrate…

Here are some of the celebrity costumes that people are talking about, even though they bore me, that have happened so far, even though it’s not even Halloween yet…

Zombie Hugh Hefner and his “Wife” Gold Digger Hooker Dressed Like Hooker Miley and Zombie Robin Thicke

Joan Rivers Dressed Like Fat Miley….

Elisabetta Canalis was Wonder Woman which is appropriate because we be wondering why she’s famous….

Paris Hilton did Miley Cyrus and Barbie…both the herpes ridden bootleg Kim Kardashian version…

Julianne Hough Black Face Which is Hilarious…and Amazing…Especially Since She’s Trying to Pretend it Didn’t Happen…like it was the Sex with Ryan Seacrest she “Had” when they were “dating”….

Some dude named Jamie Vandekamp Dressed like Trayvon Martin, Not Famous, But Hilarious, so I threw it in…

Kelly Brook as Mary Antoinette’s Cleavage Covered in Blood…for Any Excuse to Post Her Cleavage…

Tara Reid as Who The Fuck Knows or Cares..especially not her, she’s just Booze Soaked and 40 Year too Broken Down to know what is happening…

Jessica Lowndes….with Mom Cleavage…

Posted in:Halloween|SFW




Cameron Diaz Still Thinks It’s Halloween of the Day

I guess Cameron Diaz isn’t who or what I thought she was, unless my title is right and she still thinks it is Halloween….even though I don’t think the stupid eye make-up is really the only cause of the disaster that has happened on her face…I think that the eye make up may just be what she wants us to think is the cause of the disaster that is her face….when in reality it is probably bad botox, or aging, or scars from self mutilation after Justin Timberlake left her for being too old, cuz something isn’t right in these pictures and Cameron Diaz is far from the piece of ass I once thought she was and here are some pictures of the tragedy…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|Halloween|old|Ugly




Jessica Lowndes Does Halloween in Shorts of the Day

I don’t know who Jessica Lowndes is but she’s perfect for this post on how Halloween is just a fucking disappointment, year after year, people always dress the fucking same.

Sure, girls who normally wear pants, walk around in panties, and let their inner slut out, we’ve all heard that report before and it’s not fucking news anymore, but sometimes that’s just not enough. Sometimes, that is just boring because there’s never been a costume I’ve found creative, exciting or even worth paying attention to.

See I love bitches in underwear, I love straight laced girls slutting out and acting wild, I love drunk girls turning into whores, but the second I see a costume that I’ve seen before, I get bummed out, I just figure bitch is so generic and I get too discouraged to even appreciate her hot young ass in bootyshorts.
I don’t know what it is, maybe I’m going through a depression and don’t find excitement in the little things anymore, or maybe I just hate follower drones who can’t pull off something clever while being just as naked and slutty…

I didn’t go out this year, so maybe it was different, and I guess I should be less hateful towards everyday cheesy girls, because they will always exist, they will always ignore I exist, and I still want to fuck all of them, whether dressed like a cheerleader, sailor, sexy cop, wonder woman, nurse, school girl, princess, or whatever out of box costume they are rockin’ or not….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Halloween|Jessica Lowndes|Shorts




Jessica Alba is Dora the Explorer of the Day

For you perverts who get off to kids shows….and I know you fucking exist. Because anything you can think someone jerks off to, there is probably someone who has and really when it comes to Dora the Explorer, who really can’t find her dark complexion and little shorts hot, especially considering she is an explorer, something that usually translates into “Adventurous Enough For Anal”, something Alba probably should have channeled the night she flipped the used condom inside out after skipping her birth control pill to get knocked up to lock Cash Warren in for life, but instead was too emotional and scared of being alone.

We get it bitch, you’re a mom, you know kids shows, just shut the fuck up and put on some lingerie. Couldn’t you have been Dora the Whore Explorer or some shit, this is useless….step it the fuck up Alba, or should we just call her a series of constant disappointments….

Bonus – Cash Warren Standing Next to Ass

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Dora the Explorer|Halloween|Jessica Alba




Useless “Celebrities” Use Twitter for Halloween of the Day

I hate twitter because it is some bottom feeder waste of time shit where people who are clearly not very busy spend their time writing uselessness anad where useless people try to expand their fan base, because they aren’t real celebrities who don’t need to seduce the public themselves with shitty 130 character blurbs and pictures of their whore selves half naked, they are bottom feeders and here are a few pictures of some of Twitter’s best trash and their lame halloween costumes to start the day….

Adrienne Curry and Her Hair Plugged Husband as the Watchmen….

Maria Menounos as a Cruise Ship Captain

Aubry O’Day and Another obvious Costume….

Brooklyn Decker Dressed as the First Night She Slutted Herself Out to her Now Husband Andy Roddick because She Figured Being a Sportss Illustrated model, having a one night stand with a popular athlete who dated Mandy Moore made sense….

Taryn Manning (who’s that? She’s from 8 Mile)….

Jennifer Love Hewitt as a Playboy Bunny Because She’s Got a New Ego Thanks to Having a Boyfriend Willing to Fuck Her Fat Ass….

Coco Whoring Out as a Mermaid….

Coco With Her Husband Whoring Out….

Coco With Rihanna Whoring Out….

In Conclusion, Coco is a whore.

Posted in:celebrities|Halloween|Twitter




Gutter Booty Shakin’ the Halloween Edition of the Day

I have a friend who can only get off in cemetaries. I am not saying that cuz it is halloween, or because he’s some kind of Goth, he’s just a weird dude and it all started one night he picked up a girl in a bar, and wanted to bring her home with him, but he still lives with his mom so he had to find a place to fuck the bitch.

You know as well as I do, that it’s not everyday that an unemployed guy who lives with his mom gets a girl interested enough to fuck him, it actually takes a whole lot of fucking work and a whole lot of fucking lies, because no matter how funny a dude is, or how charming a motherfucker is, or even how big a motherfucker’s dick is, the second a girl hears no job, no money and a room in my mom’s house, they turn around and fuck the next horny motherfucker with no standards who wants to get laid standing in line.

Anyway, he pulled over in a cemetary, told her it would be exciting, she bit and he pretty much pre-matured ejaculated not because he thought it was so wrong cuz it’s where dead people were laid to rest, or because he was scared he was going to get caught, and not because the bitch was hot and he hadn’t fucked in months and had serious build up, but because he imagined he had an audience of hundreds of dead people watching him and it drove him nuts.

Since that night, the cemetary has become his “sex den” and I guess this video of cemetary booty shaking black girls is for him….

Posted in:Booty Shaking|Graveyard|Halloween




Shauna Sand Scary Halloween Ebay Auction Video of the Day

I guess the sex tape wasn’t enough evidence that Shauna Sand is broke, but Heyman Hustle went out and got an exclusive video of Shauna Sand’s recent desperation for cash that comes in the form of an ebay auction.

She did a little intro showing off her stupid fake tits in a bikini, and looked and sounded like a medicated or possessed plastic zombie or sex doll. It was was perfect for this time of year, but still pretty scary even if it is Halloween everyday for this cunt.

Watch the video, it’s fucking strange.

For Heyman Hustle

Shauna Sand Sex Tape Clips Exclusive

Posted in:ebay|Halloween|Shauna Sand




Rainey Qualley’s Hot Sideways Halloween of the Day

A long time ago, I posted These Pictures of Andie McDowell’s Daughter’s Bikini Ass that were ripped off of Facebook. Her parents were obviously hippie models who named their kid Rainey and she turned out to an everyday sorority girl who dresses up like a slut on Halloween and gets down with her friends to that Electric Eel song. I know that in my fantasy they all end up in the bath together playing with their rubber duckies, and by rubber duckies I mean each other’s vaginas, because with a name like Rainey, I sure hope she likes to get wet, but I am sure they probably just went to some frat party, got drunk and puked on each other, which I guess is kinda hot in it’s own way.

Since I’ve written on her before, I’m not going to write about her name, her parents, or her privileged rich kid life again, or how she’s not all that hot considering both her parents are models, but I will post the video someone just emailed me because it’s a slow day and Halloween only happened 2 months ago, so I’m not all that slow on the shit by my standards, which isn’t saying much….

Posted in:Andie McDowell|Halloween|Rainey Qualley