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Archive for the Hard Nipples Category

2010

29

Apr

Lisa Rinna’s and Her Stupid Lips Have Hard Nipples of the Day

I still don’t really know what Lisa Rinna does other than get bad plastic surgery, but I do know that her nipples are hard in these pictures, which after having married a fat slob with inverted nipples, is exciting to me, cuz there’s nothing worse than trying to find nipple when trying get it on with a bitch back when you used to fool around and care about feeling her up, before slowly letting that turn into fucking for the sake of cumming, to not fucking at all….marriage is a shitty thing and I guess so are Lisa Rinna blowjobs because she has no mobility in her lips and shit would be like shoving your dick inside a pool toy or anything else made of hard plastic with a hole small enough to fit you in it…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Hard Nipples|Lisa Rinna

2010

12

Apr

Pam Anderson’s Hard Nipples in White for PETA of the Day

Pam Anderson is at some Vegan bullshit and I guess along with giving up with all animal products, she also gave up on wearing a bra, not that she needs to wear because she’s got tits so solid you could hang plants off of, but she should be wearing a bra cuz she’s old, disgusting, over and done, that dairy is expired, kinda thing, but I guess she’s just happy her nipples still work after all the operations and feels the need to show the shit off and really…who fucking cares….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Hard Nipples|Pam Anderson

2009

31

Jul

Jennifer Aniston’s Hard Nipples of the Day

The thing I love about Jennifer Aniston is watching her fall from the top. At one time she was this nobody actress who hit big with a huge sitcom where she played the hot one who always had hard nipples, guys wanted to fuck her, girls everywhere wanted her hair and you’d be walking down the street and see bitches of all agest rockin’ the shit like Aniston was a fuckin’ cult leader. So she made huge money on the show, married the hottest guy in Hollywood and I’m sure on more than one occassion she stopped, looked herself in the mirror, smiled and said “I can’t believe this is my fuckin’ life, then the show ended, the husband left her and she struggles to get work, but one thing has remained a constant, her nipples are still hard and those nipples got her this far, so there may be hope for her, but I doubt it.

Posted in:Hard Nipples|Jennifer Aniston

2009

08

Jun

Elle Macpherson’s Hard Nipples of the Day

Elle Macpherson’s nipples are hard. That’s the story. Not much more to say about it. I could talk about jerkin’ off to her in 1989, but why bother, I’m trying to move on here, you know focus on the younger pussy, the fresher pussy, the pussy that isn’t mom pussy, or retired pussy, or my wife’s greasy pussy, so that’s all I want to say about that.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Hard Nipples

2009

06

Mar

Christina Ricci and Her Hard Nipple at the Gas Station of the Day

Here are some pictures of Christina Ricci and her big ol’ head with a stupid fucking haircut, walking out of some kind of gas station with drinks she won’t be pouring all over her tits in video, because she hates her tits, she even tried to murder the fuckers a few years back by cutting them off, but the nipples may have survived, which isn’t something I can say for the rest of her looks, because there was a time she was the young goth I wanted to fuck, and now she just reminds me of the remains of the sacrificial animal she has burried in her backyard from those dark years, and by that I mean garbage…

Posted in:Christina Ricci|Gas|Hard Nipples

2009

03

Mar

Gisele and Her Hard Nipples in Short Shorts of the Day

The rumor is that Tom Brady and Gisele had a secret wedding and I don’t really know why anyone really cares, I have no idea why them being married will have any real impact on anyone’s life, it’s not like we’re friends with the couple and they went off to Vegas or Mexico and came back hitched, I mean they are just people we see on TV and in magazines and shit and aren’t even real, so when I saw the story everywhere, I couldn’t help but think anyone who would talk about this in their everyday life, was seriously lacking substance and a life of their own, so to honor that opinion I wasn’t going to write about it, but then bitch goes out in short shorts with hard nipples and I am forced to, I am a weak man.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, she’s got a dick, from the neck up she looks like Fabio or Sean Penn in Fastimes, you know hard man features and a pointy scary face, but that body is pretty alright, the kind you’d fuck, even if it was pre-op.

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Hard Nipples|Legs|Shorts

2008

08

Jul

Ashlee Simpson’s Got Hard Pregnant Nipples of the Day

I heard when girls get pregnant, their nipples turn dark brown, so it’s safe to say that Ashlee Simpson has herself some African nipples and shit are hard while she’s out shopping with her fat baby filled uterus while Jessica sits at home crying and eating a container of ice cream because no one she wants is willing to knock her up, which is unfortunate because I know I would. Shit’s a pretty solid retirement plan, one better that knocking Ashlee Simpson.

The only mystery in all this is who knocked up this Simpson and why is Pete Wentz taking the blame, because everyone knows he’s scared of vagina, mainly his own.

Here’s some bonus pictures of Ashlee Simpson yesterday dressed like a french painter or someone married to a commerical Emo sexually confused asshole or a sailer at the ragatta lookin’ fat and fat tittied because she’s pregnant and not because she’s wearing horizontal stripes. See, I know fashion.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Hard Nipples|Pregnant Nipples

2008

21

Apr

Cheryl Tweedy Cole Hard Nipples of the Day

Cheryl Tweedy Cole is hot. She’s also a Posh Spice rip off. She’s from the UK, she’s in a girl band, she’s got a Soccer playing husband and now she’s got rock hard nipples. This girl is fuckin’ skinny and I like it.

I’ve decided that my enemy is the whole institution of Eating Disorder clinics because it encourages skinny girls, or girls who know what’s important, like not eating that pint of Ice Cream, to look at their lifestyle choices as unhealthy or bad. They try to convince them that they have a negative body image, when all they are trying to do is look good at all costs and they train them to get back into eating, so that they put on weight, because they are just jealous of their discipline.

The one thing that isn’t my enemy is air conditioning and/or a brisk breeze, because it makes nipples hard and is natures way of telling me that it gets more pussy than me. I don’t even remember the last time I got a girl’s nipples hard, I figure it’s cuz I do my best at avoiding anything involving my wife’s disgusting tits, but maybe it’s just cuz I’ve got no game.

Either way, here’s a skinny Cheryl Tweedy Cole doing her best Posh Spice impersonation and lookin’ pretty good while doing it.

Posted in:Cheryl Tweedy Cole|Hard Nipples

2008

25

Jan

Sienna Miller’s Hard Nipples Update of the Day

The question of the day is while Heath Ledger is out dying, Lohan is out doing drugs secretly and not in public while wearing leggings, Paris Hitlon is starring in a movie she produced and a whole bunch of other celebrity sluts are out getting knocked up and giving birth, where the fuck has Sienna Miller been….

These are some pictures of her getting in her car with her nipples, just to remind you that she’s still alive and still worth convincing to let you cum on her stomach in hopes of some of it dripping down and getting her pregnant because it would really turn you on and make financial sense, provided you had that kind of conviction because as it stands now the only thing your penis has got pregnant is your hand, bed sheets, an old t-shirt, your mom’s panties and a 40 bottle and that was on a dare with yourself, just to see if it would fit and you won. That’s what makes playing games with yourself just as fun as playing with yourself.


Related Posts:

Sienna Miller Topless Beach Pictures
Sienna Miller’s Vagina
Sienna Miller’s Hippie Nipple

Posted in:Hard Nipples|Unsorted