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Archive for the Insane Category

2008

23

Oct

The Paparazzi Care About Conan O’Brien of the Day

The paparazzi is insane. When you see them stalking Conan O’Brien when he’s out reading and having a coffee, you know the internet has made them go too far. Sure, Conan’s got fans, he’s funny, he’s got a following, he’s taking over for Jay Leno and all that shit, so I get why he’s someone in the news or relevant, but he is not the kind of celebrity you need to stalk, go through his garbage, climb his hedges to get bathing suit pictures of, he’s kinda one of those guys who people like to consider on our side, in how he makes fun of the celebrities, interviews them, laughs at them and all that shit, and not actually one of them but instead these creepy dudes, who get excited when they get a shot of his book, which is also fucking crazy because what Conan is reading, wearing, doing is never a huge fucking deal, and they are making it one, because they clearly have nothing else going on in their scummy lives.

Since no one in their right mind would pay for those groundbreaking pictures or Conan Walking, I can only assume this Pap(smear) is new to the job and this is some kind of paparazzi hazing, like one paparazzi makes him think he’s got a huge story, when training him, then when he brings it to the office to get paid, the boss ends up laughing him out of the fuckin’ place, forcing him to eat his cereal with water until the day he finds out that people only care about chick celebrities when they are in bikinis and not dudes who have talk shows walking around in funny jeans.

I hear the paparazzi are staking out the guy who’s in the Sham Wow commercials, they are hoping to get shots of him buying paper towels….oh the scandal that would cause….

Posted in:Conan O'Brien|Insane|Paparazzi

2008

27

Feb

Gary Busey is Cool Fuckin’ Shit of the Day

Gary Busey is pretty funny and doesn’t really take shit from anyone. This is a video of him freaking out about Paris Hilton being a piece of shit at some 11 year old girl interviewing him. I guess he doesn’t realize that this isn’t a movie set, or maybe that she’s not an adult or maybe he knows that 11 year olds are just scheming little pricks with no sense of what is morally right or wrong, they are just lookin’ for a laugh. Sure, they’ve got their cute pigtails and little innocent smiles on their cute little faces while singing and dancing to a Miley Cyrus song to their stuffed animals on the surface, but you know they are smarter than that and are plotting ways to humiliate you in front of your friends at a dinner party by telling everyone you touched her inappropriately, because she saw it on TV and thought it would be funny to recreate in real life, leading to you getting arrested and losing your life as you knew it when you never even did anything wrong, girl just thinks life is a fuckin’ movie.

It looks like Gary Busey is lost on the movie set too and everyone makes fun of Busey for being insane, but whatever he’s on, it looks like a good time. I read he got brain damage in a motorcycle accident and that’s too bad because it’s not an easy high too simulate and the last time I tried, I lost function of my bowels. It smells a lot worse than freakin’ out at 11 year old troublemakers.

Posted in:Cool|Drunk|Gary Busey|Insane|Retarded|Uncategorized

2006

15

Sep

I am – Elle Macpherson is Insane of the Day

ellemacphersonTOP.jpg

I remember back in 1989 and porn wasn’t as available to 19 year old dudes as it is today. I used to rub one out to anything I could, from shitty music videos on MTV to magazine spreads and a Sports Illustrated 25 Year Anniversary VHS. That shit was my porno because you could see Rachel Hunter and Elle Macpherson’s nipples, Cheryl Tiegs rack which was huge then, but not by today’s standards of genetically modifed food giving 10 year olds 34DDs. The point of all this is to say that dudes everywhere could get off to the simple things, like a cleavage shirt or a nipple or even and topless tribe in Africa. They didn’t need the bodage shit, or the teen girls taking facials, or graphic gangbangs and internal cum shots to get off. This isn’t a sociological commentary, but you gotta ask yourself what happens to society when an 18 year old, who 15 years ago would get off to a nipple can now only get off to gang bang porn with anal cumshots that he can find by typing it into google. He’s already got an established fetish and he’s still a fucking virgin…He’s already desensitized to seeing a naked woman so that his sexual needs are that of a 40 year old married man who’s bored of fucking his wife, and he’s still a virgin. Do you get where I am going with this, because I don’t.

After taking a 5 minute break from writing this post, I decided that what I am trying to say is that 18 year old girls are just as exposed to porn now as dudes are. So the nice unassuming private school girls who used to stay virgins til they were 18 like Donna on 90210 are getting fucked up the ass while taking one in the box and one in the mouth at the age of 17 with her highschool sweetheart instead of issuing the “panty-on rule”. So now all this what would have been prude bitches are acting like they are the next Belladonna. So we’re in for an interesting 10 years of teen pregnancy and teen STDs which have finally made their way from the gutter to the uppercrust.

Speaking of Pregnancy and STDs, here’s some pictures of “CRAZY” Elle Macpherson picking up her kids from school. Crazy or not, I’d still stuff her like a turkey with my mouth (since I am impotent), if I had the chance.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Insane|Model|Uncategorized|Unsorted