As someone who had a fight with Jake Gyllenhaal at a bar 15 years ago for asking him if he missed kissing Heath Ledger or some drunk shit that triggered him in the gayest of ways, wailing his hands while yelling before pushing the REAL big titty girl I was with into the wall…instead of showing some of his action movie martial art training…because he probably didn’t want to get sued, or maybe he doesn’t like to actually fight even though he theoretically knows how to fight if fighting is a choreographed dance…..I doubt it was due to fear, but he still came out of it looking like a pure emotional actor pussy…
Anyway, I got kicked out of the bar, only to BLOG about it on this site, which ended up going viral until the Disney Lawyers got involved and had me discredited….it was potentially my most important moment, my White Bronco moment, my Lewinsky Moment, my Kim K sex tape moment, you the moment you get on the map, but the power of Hollywood lawyers and influence was the real muscle or fighting skills the pussy actor used….
He’s in the Roadhouse remake we didn’t need and a homie sent me the poster, because I guess he remembered that I think Gyllenhaal is a fucking pussy….and then I saw the trailer was out and millions of people saw it in the last 6 hours….luring me into watching the pussy actor in action….
Since I love Patrick Swayze in an almost gay way, that’s more a necrophiliac than gay and I love the Florida Keys and I love a good Texas Roadhouse….you’d think I’d love this Amazon product….but it’s more to point and laugh at Gyllenhaal perpetuating this tough guy image when really he’s a giant pussy….and not even a nice giant pussy you want to crawl into,…but a toxic pussy that smells like septic….
Anyway, huge movie news, I guess.
Posted in:Jake Gyllenhall
