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Archive for the Kelly Brook Category

2011

22

Feb

Kelly Brook Big Tits in her Underwear Promoting Shit of the Day

One of the worst things in the world is when stuck at a bar next to a dude who takes these body spray companies seriously, forcing you to smell the toxic shit they think is going to get them laid, until you can get your drink and escape them. This jock frat boy shit is worse than AIDS, worse than being held captive by pirates, worse than natural disasters, worse than the smells my wife gives off when naked and worse than my wife naked, it is just a war on my fucking nostrils, and I’m a motherfucker with a food allergy who stinks of sulfur and an issue with not being down to shower or wash my clothes, meaning bad smells are kinda my thing…I have a pretty solid threshold for stink…The only thing good about these companies is that they hire whores to show off their tits when marketing this toxic shit…..and here’s Kelly Brook getting paid to smut peddle…cuz bitches like this don’t care what they promote as long as it pays the fucking bills…they have no souls…but they do have tits…good enough for me…and now look at all the free press they got….good work Lynx…

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2011

11

Feb

Kelly Brook in Nothing but Lipstick of the Day

I hope this becomes a style trend, cuz I’d be happy leaving my house if bitches wore nothing but lipstick. I have this thing about wanting to see every girl on the streets’ vagina. This would help that happen…

I gotta say I’m glad to see Kelly Brook naked, but more importantly that she has some bush, cuz really, bush is the future, all these bald girls are just lazy, bush takes maintenance and effort…

Either way, here are her big tits doing something that matters…

On a sidenote, these could be new or old – I don’ think it matters..

Now say hi to her clit hood…as her pussy looks like it’s tickin’ its tongue outat you – saying “You can’t have me, na na nan anan ana ”

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2011

07

Feb

Kelly Brook Leather Pants of the Day

Here are some pictures of Kelly Brook in some unflattering leather pants while wearing a sweater to hide her tits, the only thing people care about when it comes to her, making me think she’s getting cocky in her very fickle celebrity….a celebrity that will go away if she keeps wearing pants that make her legs look short, hips look wide and tits look uneventful….

But I’m posting it anyway.

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2011

03

Feb

Kelly Brook Bikini Pictures of the Day

Kelly Brook in a Bikini is Pretty Alright – especially when the post before her was Cheryl Burke in a Bikini . This was my way to couter-balance the bad and the ugly with the good….see because her fat goes to the right places, so right that she’s managed to make a career off her big natural looking tits on a small frame being in a bikini, so is a professional at being in a bikini, so professional that she managed to maintain the shit going into her 40s cuz she didn’t quite make it until the last 6 months….but stuck to her guns and now we all can masturbate pretending we are stuck to them too…because printers are a beautiful thing in celebrity masturbation fantasies and apparently so is crazy glue.

That’s all I have to say about that.


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Posted in:Kelly Brook

2010

24

Nov

Kelly Brook’s Tits Celebrating Her Birthday of the Day

It was Kelly Brook’s birthday. I guess this was a year she wanted to show the world is that when she puts her tits away she’s really nothing fucking special….

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2010

24

Nov

Kelly Brook’s Cameltoe for Funny or Die of the Day

It hate Funny or Die. I Hate linking Funny or Die. I hate the marketing manager at Funny or Die. I don’t find Funny or Die funny. I can’t stand Will Farrell or Ricky Bobby or anyone else in their stupid crew and I find their jokes cheap, obvious, idiotic and only interesting because they case celebs to be in them. It is like Saturday Night Live the next generation, when the next generation should have died with Jim Belushi, instead of being this latch on bottom feeding show filled with people embarrassing themselves cuz they aren’t funny.

That said, here is Kelly Brook in some cameltoe sketch I assume I’ll hear people quoting, because people are just as stupid as Funny or Die, I mean that is why it exists.

I’m doing it for Kelly Brook’s tits and not for the cheap cameltoe joke.

I just can’t believe I get flagged a porn site by advertisers, when the real smut is going on next to the AXE banners on here.

I hate myself for promoting these cocksuckers.

But here it is anyway.

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2010

18

Oct

Kelly Brook in FHM of the Day

Kelly Brook is still milking the final run of her getting topless for money, because soon enough she’ll be too old for this one trick she knows how to do, and I don’t mind watching this hustle, cuz it’s a lot more fun than when she was known as the tits dating the mean guy from Titanic….even if she was doing more topless work then she does now that people have accepted her…and she gets to do FHM family friendly type magazines instead of the smut she was involved with in the past…because anyway you dice it…her natural tits are pretty fucking spectacular…a rare breed of tit these jacked up on implants days…and I think that’s all the talent any girl really needs to make it…..I’m kinda glad things worked out for her…let her inspire the next generation of beautiful natural tits to follow her hustle…now we just have to wait for the sex tape…

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2010

16

Sep

Kelly Brook’s Not Topless of the Day

I find it a little presumptuous that this bitch would attend some event and not show off her tit. It takes a lot of nerve for someone who is only famous because she has tits…that are pretty spectacular…and that she isn’t afraid to show off when she is getting paid….and even when she was hardly getting paid back when she was a busty piece of shit with a dream…but now that she’s got all this press and has reached that peak she always felt she deserved…she figures she doesn’t have to give her fans what they want, she doesn’t have to exploit herself anymore, she now is liked for her talent and not the tits she flashed to get that talent noticed and the whole thing reminds me of a whore who once decided getting fucked for money wasn’t fulfilling anymore, she needed something with purpose to feel like more than just a vagina, so she decided to take up massage therapy, she went to school for it, got licensed and every dude who would pay her a visit would find out pretty quick there was no fucking for money going on anymore, she wasn’t the girl she once was, and that she only gave legit massages , which lasted a solid month and a half before she got killed by an angry john who wanted to fuck and didn’t like this new attitude….

It happens all the time, an objectified bitch doesn’t want to be objectified anymore, but wants to be known as a person and not for a body part….making them boring and irrelevant…but the rejection sets in fast and before you know it, she’ll be back more accepting that all we care about is her tits.

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2010

30

Aug

Kelly Brook Nude Underwater Dance in Pirhanna 3D of the Day

I almost saw this movies this weekend. Not because I am into shitty movies, but because my friend is into naked pussy in shitty movies. I am just glad I didn’t.

I know, Kelly Brook is a seasoned topless model, who we shouldn’t get excited about seeing topless, especially not now that she’s got a new publicist, who somehow managed to make the world care about something she’s been doing a decade….

While Riley Steele, the girl she is dancing underwater like a faggot with, is a seasoned young pornstar, who actually gets fucked by black dudes on camera, all because she went to the AVN awards, met Jesse Jane, decided to follow her lead and got recruited to her company, only to take her hot little body, alter it with shitty fake tits, and slowly morph into her den mother, who I guess is one of the biggest pornstars, so in her perspective it can’t be a bad thing, even if shit looks fake as fuck…

I guess I am posting this, partially because Riley Steele is a big fan of mine, but also because it is the first time these low level celebrities, who are both worth fucking in their own right, but who just aren’t that high profile, are in actual movie theaters on the screen naked, instead of the back row naked, cuz that’s what whores do…and not only are they in the shitty fucking movie, but they are also in 3D….and the whole thing is just far too exciting for me to grasp….

This underwater interpretive nude dancing is fucking hysterical……serious fucking joke….you gotta watch this…

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2010

20

Aug

Kelly Brook is Really Popular of the Day

My big regret with this bitch is that 5 or 6 years ago, when I started the site, I didn’t reach out to her and book her for a photoshoot back when she was affordable and desperate. A photoshoot that would have lead to marriage, kids and the possible good life she’s getting now, because there was a time when this bitch wasn’t all over the media, but instead was getting fucked by celebrity cock on the downlow and 500 dollars would have got her tits in my face for the site.

Unfortunately, I don’t spot talent very well, cuz I never predicted this happening. Especially not now in her old age, I was convinced she was just going to fade off like all the other attractive, busty, UK trash in cheap lingerie, but instead she pulled the right moves, got the right management, and now people talk about her every fucking day like she matters…which she doesn’t…but I guess her tits kinda do…cuz they are big…and being oppressed in this outfit like a black man in the 1950s…ok, enough of this nonsense…let’s focus on the real issues like why she is wearing the same shirt as Ashley Tisdale (scroll down)…how embarrassing.

Posted in:Kelly Brook