I think I must have had a traumatic Felicity experience when Felicty was on TV, because in the core of my soul, I think Keri Russell is the fucking worst.

I’ve been drunk the better part of 3 decades, so I can’t place the exact moment I hated her and wanted her to burn a fiery death which was seemingly appropriate because of her fiery pubic haired crotch..

I mean was it during the Mickey Mouse Club era, or was it that she didn’t whore out when she had the opportunity, and now doing it years later makes me angry that she wasted perfectly good youth…or was it that I knew a virgin loser who was really in love with her and her show, I worked with him and had to hear about Felicity recaps every fucking week….

I just know hard nipples in Malibu magazine or not, she’s the enemy…

Posted in:Keri Russell

I wonder how many virgin losers are masturbating to this Keri Russell sex scenes from her new TV show, who have been waiting for Keri Russell to crawl out of irrelevance since Felicity, her one hit wonder got cancelled…versus how many virgin losers are mad this has happened 10 years too late, after husbands and kids, when this should have been a scene in Felicity, because it would have made their virgin loser existence less depression…an existence that has manifesting into even deeper sadness and desperation, unless of course they’ve made nerd money, in which case they won’t sue, but rather have hot gold digging pussy to attend to, forgetting they ever watched this smut.

Posted in:Keri Russell

Kerri Russell is on some show called The Americans…I’ve never heard of it, but I have heard of Keri Russell and not for the reason you think, because in 1991, I didn’t have the Disney Channel, so I wasn’t so into the Mickey Mouse club…however, I did know a lot of virgin loser weirdo dudes who went to the local college and who were obsessed with the show Felicity and thought that Kerri Russell was some kind of babe….

I have never seen the show, but I knew one particular guy who owned the fucking box set, which to me was so fucking weird, considering it wasn’t porn…and Felicity wasn’t hot…

That said, I’ve learned to understand the behavior of virgin losers, I assume they still have her face printed onto their pillows….and I assume they still kiss her goodnight every night…because they have a hard time letting go…even if Keri Russell has moved onto things like sex scenes for TV to show us that she can act…

People say this may be a body double, virgin losers have the ability to cross reference her beauty marks, I am just posting it cuz I feel like I have to…so here it is.

Posted in:Keri Russell

Felicity is making a comeback and she’s doing it pretty naughty…making her fans that loved her when she was in her late 20s…who probably still have the DVD box set wrapped in their DVD collection next to their star wars toys pretty fucking exciting…because they never gave up on her when the rest of us forgot about her and they knew that when they staged that fake wedding in their mom’s basement with a model they made of her…their commitment and love for her was eternal…through thickness and thinness, sickness and health…

While the rest of us just see a 40 year old trying to hard, post pregnancy, to be hot…but in our defence we didn’t find her hot in her 20s and don’t find her hot now.

Posted in:Keri Russell

I am not posting these pictures cuz I find Keri Russell hot. I am posting them because I know she has a massive fanbase of virgin losers who still jerk off to on of their Felicity box set, cuz they put the other one, still wrapped in plastic in their safe to preserve the shit, cuz that’s what Virgin losers do with their time, since they aren’t distracted by drinking, having fun, real life girls, and have time to do really weird shit that make normal people uncomfortable and that are probably the reason they don’t get laid…..

See I don’t know what the appeal of Felicity was, and I don’t know why every virgin loser went nuts for the bitch and staged mock weddings with her in their head as they lay in their single bed wondering why the hot girl in class won’t talk to them, but since this is the internet, I am going to assume you are that virgin loser, and I feel for you, so these should bring some joy to your pathetic existence…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Keri Russell