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Archive for the Kristin Cavallari Category

2013

03

Jun

Kristin Cavallari Staged Post Baby Bikini Ass of the Day

Kristin Cavallari may be a nobody, but a few years ago, she was best known for being on a hit MTV show called Laguna Beach that gave her an ego, and made her think that since she staged reality so well, she could be an actress, and turned down the spinoff, which was an even bigger hit that her show, called the HILLS, but in her mind, it was ok, she was a star and was going to get movie work, without realizing that no one respects reality stars, only to crawl back to the spinoff the last season, hell she needed to make money to pay her rent and lavish lifestyle from when she was a TV Star, only to get cancelled…..pregnant and now posing on the beach in a bikini in staged post pregnancy pics I assume are for US Weekly, because they are the only ones who would care about this….

Now that you know the history of Kristin Cavallari, you can stare at her mom ass, that is actually not offensive at all, in fact, as much as I hate admitting it, because she’s such a vapid twat, I kinda like it, but in my defence, I like all asses in bikinis, even the scary ones.


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Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2013

08

Apr

Kristin Cavallari Bikini of the Day

If a reality store from 5 years ago, who ultimately doesn’t matter, puts on a bikini, does she make a sound.

Well apparently, yes.

Kristin Cavallari from Laguna Beach, who had an ego that turned down The Hills cuz she was going to run with her own acting career, without being informed that she had no talent, only to crawl back for the last Season of The Hills, after everyone made all their money on the shit, while she just went to auditions and got rejected, making her more than just a failed actress, ex-reality star it makes her desperate and that is porno to me….especially when in a bikini or two….next stop sex tape.


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Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2012

13

Mar

Kristin Cavallari’s Pregnant Bathing Suit Pics of the Day

I don’t have the rights to post these Kirstin Cavallari pics….which is probably a good thing…because she’s pregnant and no one wants to see a pregnant chick in a bikini…at least not for masturbation reasons…unless you’re weird…or a pussy pretending your wife is this beautiful creature carrying your spawn inside her like some kind of loyal vessel who is really just in it for herself…

….not to mention Cavallari is a total nobody….sure we know her name, at least some of us do, but we’d rather not, cuz she’s a worthless piece of reality show garbage that couldn’t make it on her own…you know at her peak of bratty, spoiled delusional cunt….before crawling back to MTVbegging for work to feel like she mattered….only to have the show cancelled that year…cuz she sucks so fucking bad….or maybe all those years of me begging for it to be cancelled paid off cuz I felt it ruined the minds of the youth and I care about the youth as the youth are the future pussies I plan on trying to fo fuck….

But I can link out to them and that’s just what I am going to do….cuz a bathing suit…even on a pregnant nobody…is still a fucking bathings suit….


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Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

09

Nov

Kristin Cavallari Legs of the Day

If a useless bitch who was once on the worst show on TV, but then she thought she was too good for that piece of shit show, so she quit to take on other projects, that never ended up existing, only to crawl back to that shitty show, only for it to be cancelled, wears a mini skirt, showing off her thin legs, does it make enough noise to get a post? Apparently, enough for this useless blogger, even though the noise I’d rather hear out of her is gurggles while her face is shoved into the mud…If you know what I mean….no, I’m not a rapist, I just think the devil incarnated and put on MTV needs to be punished for being part of such shit…especially when she hasn’t released nude pics or videos yet….which is the real tragedy in Kristin Cavallari….as she falls into obscurity…wearing a mini skirt.

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

08

Nov

Kristin Cavallari Showing Off Legs of the Day

Here are some pictures of everything good that could possibly work out for Kristin Cavallari…you know go right for her…. ike the wind blowing up her little skirt like she hoped it would when she weared her skirt… to give her a second wind…another reason for people to write about her, a panty flash that carries her for another month of semi irrelevance…as she fades into obscurity……

Maybe it feels like she’s had her moment of glory that is totally undeserved….that she scammed us….that this fame no matter how low level from doing nothing and the money in her bank from it was enough….I mean if you consider being on the worst show on TV nothing…which I don’t…I consider it a real something…a something that needs to be punished for the pollution it caused in our lives….

But unfortunately, I like her legs and more importantly, have no authority to punish her, so I’ll just post the pics.

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

04

Aug

Kristin Cavallari Tight Body Leaving the Gym of the Day

Here are some shitty pictures of Kristin Cavallari leaving the gym because when you are unemployed, but so want to be famous and noticed, you go to the fucking gym so that you don’t get fat, cuz no one likes fat chicks, even though being fat could give her a marketing hook, and get her cast in some fat people TV shows, even though no one wants to watch fat girls on TV, and America is filled with bitches built like Precious hungry for both all things edible and a minute of fame….so instead trash Cavallari just does the obvious Hollywood route that I hope ends in poverty and desperation cuz that’s always when the fun goes down cuz whatever is going on here…is hardly fun…if anything it looks sad….something that I usually see on women both before and after I have sex with them…making this almost erotic…

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

03

Aug

Kristin Cavallari’s Bikini BBQ of the Day

There is a funny thing about being famous for nothing….and that is that the bitches who are famous for nothing aren’t money motivated…they strictly do it for attention, to get noticed and the hope that one day it’ll all work out and they will actually get a paying job or at least a very rich boyfriend who wants to fuck them after seeing them in the magazines you know to finally achieve that bottom feeding level of significance so that they can say to themselves that they’ve finally made it…or some shit….and that addiction to wanting to make it, wanting to be famous, and wanting people to remember them leads to great things like staged bikini BBQ pictures that are so ridiculous they’re almost fucking comical…but the half naked factor almost makes it like low grade porn…and that works for me…and apparently it also works for Kristin Cavallari cuz people like looking at girls in bikinis…it is just that simple.

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Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

29

Jul

Kristin Cavallari’s Got Tit of the Day


I am pretty sure Kristin Cavallari got implants. I can only assume it was in efforts to make herself a little more relevant…you know since she hardly matters…but I could be wrong…you know maybe she just changed her birth control pill…or maybe she gains her weight in her titties…or maybe…just maybe…this is what they always looked like..I just didn’t bother noticing…cuz she doesn’t fucking matter…but they do look rounder, bigger, fuller and like they hang better…and implants are the low level girl’s answer to getting noticed…and I guess it worked…cuz here I am pondering her tits…which is coincidentally also one of my lowest points in my life…

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

15

Jul

Kristin Cavallari Stays Relevant in a Bikini of the Day

A woman…despite how useless she may be…or how irritating she may be…or how fun it is to laugh at her for failing in her attempt to have a legit career by refusing to be on a show that was bigger than the show that made her…only to come crawling back a few months before the shit was cancelled….is never useless as long as she owns a bikini…and someone gets a picture of it…

I will look at any bitch in a bikini, hot or not, just because I like seeing bitches in bikinis…it never gets dull to me…it just makes for scenery I can appreciate and enjoy…like what I’d imagine climbing up to the top of Everest feels like to some…with far less work…not that any of the bitches, including Kristin Cavallari deserved to be compared to climbing up everest, I mean, she’s really nothing great or interesting, I’m just saying I feel satisfied and complete spiritually when I’m looking at or around half naked women…even the uglies…

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Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

17

Jun

Kristin Cavallari’s Useless Tits of the DAy

A valuable lesson I’ve learned in life is that tits are always useful…even if the bitch they are attached to is useless, annoying, talentless, a hack, a crackwhore, or dead…both career-wise and physically, just not too dead, cuz then tits just become gross, if you ask any necrophiliac he’ll tell you the soaking her in warm water doesn’t work forever…

I don’t know where I’m going with that, I guess Kristin Cavallari just makes me morbid, inspires me to think of graveyards, morgues, the final curtain and all that bullshit, cuz I can’t imagine her ever coming back and making anything of herself…It’s like Michael Jackson once said before he died….”this is it”…..cuz I feel quoting Michael Jackson always works cuz he just has so many words that represents what I’m thinking, “I’m Bad…Thriller”….what the fuck am I doing…oh right…staring at Kristin Cavallari’s unemployed but more importantly unemployable tits…that are gonna lose their shit eventually, craving that fame they once had doing bad fake reality shows….Wonder how this is gonna pan out….

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

26

May

Kristin Cavallari Cameltoe Bikini Pictures of the Day

What do you do when no one wants you and no one cares about you? At least not the people you want to have care for you, you know like people who can offer you a job that doesn’t involve you stripping. You wipe off those tears of failure, you need to be resiliant and get into a bikini tha you jack it up into your into your vagina, that is not nearly as useless as you, and you stage a photoshoot hoping people post about it, hoping it reminds people you are still here, hoping it will turn your bullshit MTV career around….even though the world has rejected you….

Also known as my favorite time in a has been reality TV star’s career.


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Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

22

Apr

Kristin Cavallari’s Amazing Face of the Day

I figured that when this bitch’s show got cancelled, she’d finally throw in the fucking towel and produce sex tapes…or pretty much anything semi-erotic.

For those of you who don’t know or care, she was the bitch from a show called Laguna Beach, it was the show that was chapter 1 of The Hills…it was what made this bitch a “Celebrity” and I use that world loosely, and she had the balls to refuse to continue on The Hills cuz she had an ego and decided she could make it as an actor, a legit actor…the crossover everyone in Reality has been able to make successfully….only to realize a few years later that she needed money and that no one took her seriously…and that she was the bitch on a show far less significant than the one she refused to be the star of….So she had to beg MTV to let her back on, only for the shit to get cancelled her first year back…making you think she’s either the Yoko Ono that ends a horrible thing…a hero to the world or maybe that she’s the useless twat capable of bringing down an already useless as fuck show cuz she’s just that useless…

But I see the good in everything, and I firmly believe there’s nothing useless about ANY girl…pretty much cuz she’s got the required holes to be a real talent and success in porn.

Leading to the conclusion, that she should turn to porn, cuz I think it’d be a place where she could really fucking shine…at least a place I’d like to watch her shine….with semen and vagina juice…cuz really they’re all fucking whores to me.

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2011

27

Jan

The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Useless of the day

The hills are unfortunately alive and they sound like leggings rubbing against vagina.

I try to limit my posts on the garbage from the hills because the entire run of that show, I couldn’t understand why these people were famous and I anxiously awaited their cancelation and demise cuz i knew the rest of the world caught on….so now that they are officially done and no one cares about them, the way I wanted all along, I hate mentioning them in fear that someone will land on this site, be reminded of them, and hunt them down to give them new opportunity, unless that someone is a serial killer and the new opportunity is playing the decapitated head in the freezer next to his mothers, and the tits he keeps in a box to masturbate on, in which case maybe this site does do good things for humanity…

Here are some pictures of the Hills, alive, sounding like leggings rubbing together…doing nothing….living the good life while you’re hard at work trying to pay your mortgage…cuz America likes them better than you…

So Here is Hills Number 1

And Here is Hills Number 2

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari|Whitney Port

2010

15

Dec

Kristin Cavallari Optimizing her Tits to Hold onto What She Had of the DAy

I feel like a loser posting pictures of a girl showing cleavage like it’s a big deal. I don’t care whether the girl in the picture is the most successful, most desirable, or most useless bitch around. I don’t care if she’s local or international, I just know writing about tits like they matter is some serious virgin loser shit that I am ashamed of.

That said, Kristin Cavallari got an invite to an event, something I doubt has been happening as much as her Laguna Beach stardom 5 years ago, and I just thought it was funny to see her maximizing her little tits as hard as she could to get some low level attention like this. It’s like if she tried to get more out of her tits than this, she woulda been walking around topless, and if she tried to squeeze more out of them, they would probably start to bleed….and I just like to encourage this because it often ends in sex tapes.

Fame is addictive and when it is gone, these idiots do all they fucking can.


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Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2010

13

Sep

Kristin Cavallari Sluts It Up for Some Bottom Feeding Photographer of the Day

Tyler Shields is some photographer out of LA who made friends with some celebs and models and has since been making a name for himself because they all think he’s this inspired artist or some shit. I’ve seen countless comments to the guy about how awesome he is and how he is a visionary and I guess I shouldn’t hate on him too hard, cuz I’ve never had patience to seduce women into getting naked, or in their underwear, I’ve never said the right things, I’ve never felt like I need to make them believers that they are part of something much bigger than they think they are, stripping them down, all to get HIM noticed.

I am not sure if you get what I am saying, but it’s pretty much that this dude says the right thing to the right people, he makes them think he’s this bigger than life artist and that they have to shoot with him, he’s out of LA, and there are many insecure actors out there willing for that shot at having some substance in their lives filled with crap….so they attach themselves to people like this, he gets them half naked, and we all find out about the motherfucker, visit his website and make him tons of money. Using their celebrity to make him a celebrity….

It’s a good scam, that I just don’t have patience for. But I will post the Kirstin Cavallari pictures, because she really has no point anymore, her one and only break has come and gone twice….and lightning doesn’t strike three times…but maybe getting Lohan’s photographer will put her back on the map. I am sure she’s so happy people are talking about her today…

Who really cares, she’s half naked in a park and that’s good enough for me, no matter who the bitch is, or how useless the bitch is….and really Tyler’s got the right idea…gag this bitch…but next time…don’t let her up for air. This is a lost opportunity if I’ve ever seen one…

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari