There was a story that came out yesterday about Lindsay Lohan, who is some identity crisis you may remember from Mean Girls, because today is National Mean Girls Day, I only know that because I creeped her Instagram, I have never actually seen mean Girls…and this isn’t about Mean Girls…it’s about Lohan…

So she was apparently in TURKEY being ARAB, where she stuck her RING FINGER into some boat engine or something and Lost part of her RING FINGER in what I would assume was her being dramatic and trying to get back at her really rich Russian Fiance…because Lohan is just that kind of bitch..

I remember talking to someone who was at a party with her many years ago in LA, some rich person trendy person after party…and Lohan was sitting on the couch alone…playing with a kitchen knife…looking off into the abyss….because she’s fucked in the fucking head…and still is…

It stems from being whored out by her family, raped by the media, in an industry that fucked her head up hard….but at least she’s got a sense of humor…

I was trying to get my friend to write a top 10 things LOHAN can’t do without her fingers….they never wrote it and I don’t do top 10 lists of clickbait…I find them dumb, she only got “she can’t hold the coke straw anymore”….and I added “she’ll be able to fist Sam Ronson easier”…but ended with that…

It turns out the best LOHAN losing her finger joke was from LOHAN herself…in the caption on this picture of “ONE HANDED SELFIE”….what a joker…

TO READ THE ACTUALLY LOSING HER FINGER STORY VIA TMZ

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

Lindsay Lohan is such a fucking wreck…but for reasons beyond me…that are wired deep into my pervert soul – that I apparently have despite not feeling empathy, or really any emotions….ever….I want to taste every one of her bodily fluids…partially to see if I die…but also because I would jerk off to every second of it…not that I’ve ever actually jerked off to Lindsay Lohan…I don’t jerk off to these idiots when there are so many real girls but I like the idea of Lindsay Lohan and all her years of baggage, failure, depression because I guess I’ve been following her bullshit story since it started – not because I want to – but because it was fed to me…but now I’m ready for Lohan to be fed to me…I figure you gotta get a terminal sexually transmitted disease at some point in time…and it might as well be from a celebrity…who is no longer a working celebrity…but who is still a legend and she’s 30…despite looking haggard 50….thanks to face fillers she proabably didn’t need…but it’s all in good fun as a she knows she’s a circus freak….sold to the carnival from the family…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

My spirit animal, Lindsay Lohan, my one true friend who abandoned me, is still alive and she wants to remind you that despite leading us to believe she was dead 4-5 years ago…she still exists…and can wear bathing suits….

I guess she’s just resting and preparing to get herself ready for her big comeback, because she’s lazy and hasn’t worked in a decade….but the Oscar win I predicted years ago will happen…unless she actually dies…or continues to mangle her face in protest of being the goddess she was born into being…all self destruction….thanks to being robbed of her childhood…

I like the pose…I figure she got it from this picture….because I we are connected at the soul….

But I guess I like all that Lohan does…that doesn’t involve being dying, just irrelevance…

Here she is in a flower crown from snapchat…

A video posted by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on Sep 5, 2016 at 10:33am PDT

And I’m a lifelong fan…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

Lindsay Lohan is god….and going into the weekend…remember that my friend, sloppier than she used to be, but still only 30 and magnifcent – despite her mangled facial injections….and bullshit scandals that all stem from having her life robbed of her by her opportunist parents…I’m talking about the one and only, spilling out of her bathing suit…LINDSAY LOHAN…the queen of my universe…has made a beach bathing suit appearance and I want to lick until it dissolves…which would require a lot of licking…is perfection…everything…bow down to her…she’s the real queen…

I’m a life fan. She is my life work.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

I wonder what sucker is financing Lindsay Lohan’s Yacht adventures, because you know it’s not her paying for shit. I am surprised she still has the celebrity power to command getting free everything, but I guess she is Lindsay Lohan and that’s something that stick with you for fucking life….but more importantly, I wonder what the motivation of her posing in these dramatic photos from her iphone..in bathing suits sucking in her gut…showing off her botox face…is it because of her love for the art, the love of being on camera…the love of performing…or is it all the narcissist knows…

I guess there is no sense when it comes to Lohan – because she’s crazy – but I’ll still follow her around because I’m old and nostalgic and convinced she’s perfect…and everyone else is just flawed…you know like how no one cared when her boyfriend beat her up…and just collectively felt she deserved it…that was amazing moment in feminism and this down with the patriarchy movement…of “well if bitch is crazy, maybe she needs to get beat”….fascinating social experiment this Lohan has been…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

Here is some Lohan giving herself an enema – at least according to Lohan:

“Free fall (I probably shouldn’t of gone into a seated position for the fall) lol ????”

In her defence is not that much effort and doesn’t require jumping off yachts onto her ass…she’s been raped figuratively by her family so hard that it manifested into a loose asshole…you know one that she’s cleaning out for her abusive fiancé and their makeup sex, that’s where he cums during herpes outbreaks, make up sex that they have probably already had since girl likes to keep things at a high intensity…it feels passionate….

I like that no one gives a fuck about her being abused in video, while everyone is boycotting Johnny Depp for boycotting his hooker…no one gives a fuck about a fat lohan…expect me..

I wouldn’t go as far as to say Lohan is Porno you should jerk off to, especially not now while barrel bellied, or fat as fuck and haggard, but she is the nostalgic porn worth giving another chance when bored, like revisiting an old crazy friend with great tits who was once magical before that magic was robbed from her but I believe she still has that spark and everyone deserves a little magic sometimes….

If I wanted to see Lohan get an Enema…I’d want it to be with my tongue…

I guess this could be her throwing in the towel, building up the confidence to kill herself, doing some trial runs….at least that’s what the Russian will want us thinking, you know that it’s self inflicted and not some Natalie Wood situation when he loses his temper with her again…anyone who knows lohan knows it will be with pills..

I am still a fan. I still think she’s GOD. Perfection….and here are some dramatic bikini selfies to prove it..

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

Lindsay Lohan Posted a Bikini Pic one hour ago…but I’d rather watch her tit fall out of her shirt while her Fiance wrestles her for his phone in what looks like violent as fuck women abuse but is actually just what you have to do when you’re dealing with something as crazy as a Lohan…the queen of my world…busted face, broken soul, and all….she’s the best…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

Lindsay Lohan is a total fucking crazy person, so this video of her angrily throwing her fiance’s phone out of their jeep on vacation is hardly as bad as she gets.

I have personally dealt with a low level of Lohan’s crazy jealous rage and it is terrifying. It was many years ago and somehow she got my phone number and thought I had banged one of her lesbians, which led to a year of random crazy, delusional, insane messages – that I never published and don’t have anymore, but can assure you were fucking nuts…and amazing…because I love Lohan and didn’t want to expose her…..and really felt bad for her because of her level of crazy…

So seeing her boyfriend wrestle her for his phone in video – is way better than it looked in the pictures from the same video…her ass everywhere…but clearly – any Lohan relationship will be dysfunctional, abusive, psychotic, violent and crazy as fuck….but I love lohan and her level of crazy…it’s so hot to me…she’s a goddess

Either way, here are two spoiled brats wrestling for a phone she thinks he’s cheating on her with…so good.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

Lindsay Lohan reminds me of the time I told a girl I would like a public toilet clean before she pissed on said toilet – if she’d let me see her pussy…I figured it was a girl’s bathroom, I was drunk, what was the big deal – I’m already fucking gutter garbage trash with a dirty fucking mouth – and parasites – might as well just do this stunt to see some drunk pussy pissing. Yes I’m that pathetic….well needless to say…she didn’t let me watch her pee…but a valuable life lesson was learned – always go second on a deal….because no one, especially drunk women…can’t be trusted….

The reason Lohan reminds me of that is because she’s disgusting…but I still hold her close to my heart…all sloppy titty, unemployed, bratty because she still thinks being Lohan is status or cool..and I guess it is. A novelty act for everyone around her who hang out with her for that reason alone….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW