Some people say when on a shitty vacation, while drunk, and all alone, the best thing to do is to spank the monkey, but in this Nicaragua hotel, for an extra fee, the Monkey spanks you.

This was sent to me via some girl sharing a room with the dude in the picture, who I am sure will be happy I am sharing his hand job from a monkey, that he paid for, picture with the world…

I smell lawsuit, but let’s hope it goes viral first…because anyone who pays to get a hand job from monkey, should be outted to the world….it’s the most ridiculous pic I have been sent to date.

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So I found this guy named Steve Dawson on twitter.

I assume he’s a meme, or something in the UK, because he has a bunch of followers.

Here is what he had to say about himself:

My name is Steven D, I am 41years old, I live on my own in a Flat in Ashford Kent, I have got a girlfriend called Lisa Davis, who i am going out with

His pictures are fucking ridiculous. He is obviously retarded in some way. He post pics of cam girls he’s watching, his disgusting food, and his doing weirdness..he needs to viral…

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Pretty obvious reason why this Fail is the Win….of the Sochi Olympic fails…even better than the double toilet, and the Olympic ring not going off…not just because I am from Canada…but because I love anal…Turn that frown upside down girl…no wait part of what I like about anal is how little the girl enjoys it…

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I think the biggest fail in recent years is that the Weather Channel and their league of Meteorologists have tried to sensationalize their jobs by like they were working for Hard Copy or some other tabloid show…by naming winter storms like they were hurricanes that needed to be tracked, I guess because when you’re a weather man…all you have going for you, besides fucking the weather woman behind the green screen map, is tracking the storm from your shitty office at your shitty low level local news channel studio…dreaming of the day you become Al Roker…

I mean that was the biggest fail, until they named a winter storm Janus, and had a dude stand in front of the “J”…

Funnies.

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This makes me laugh…some dude was on a bridge about to Jump and some chick took a selfie with him…it’s the best selfie ever and I would have done the same fucking thing because this is a me mentality world we live in…always producing content for our social media…and more importantly, who gives a fuck about some suicidal asshole…it’s not like she can get up there and save him, so she might as well seize the fucking moment and end up on the cover of the newspaper…this is selfie was the biggest thing ever for her and I think I’m in love..

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With all the celebrity death, useless gossip and news, we always lose sight of what is important, especially this holiday season, and that is midget strippers on Vine flying through the air…only to fail…because failure is a state of mind…and as far as I’m concerned…she’s fucking won…

I love all this has to offer…

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This is a fucking genius concept – at least for a minute and if the pictures were better – but I still got a kick out of the SELFIES AT A FUNERAL tumblr, because what better place to take a selfie than at someone’s last stop before the dirt…

Sure I am a little less into PG shit, and ever since my mom died, I haven’t been overly sensitive about death and think it’s funny to mock it, so I’d be more into seeing people pranking the corpse, it’s like the street art of funeral parlours…but I think it may be illegal..

That said, here’s the best selfies at funerals these people could find on Instagram, I am sure if I looked it up, there would be more and they would be better…

TO SEE MORE CLICK HERE

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I think Halloween is the one day of the year that we shouldn’t have to worry about being politically correct…in fact I think we shouldn’t have to worry about being politically correct ever and this whole Cyber Bully generation pisses me off, where we can’t fail kids in school, we can’t call people fat, people like Lena Dunham end up naked on TV and society falls as a whole…it’s just not human nature…but seriously…Halloween…leave that shit alone the whole point of it is for us to have a little “OMG, you’re crazy, that’s a crazy costume” moment…it brings joy..and joy is something we all need whether dressed in Blackface, or look racist in your Indian or Mexican costume, or offend the world being a gay basher, or Dr Drew’s prostate, or Miley’s used tampon, or a miscarriage…or this Boston Marathon victim…at least some thought went into the shit…and some emotion comes out of the shit…rather than every asshole dressed like cookie cutter generic shit that is politically correct…so tonight stand up for your right to be the asshole you are deep within the depths of your soul..mock death, mock midgets, mock other races…do it all and have fucking fun doing it…the only thing I ask is that fat chicks stay out of tight clothing…that shit is never ok…is always offensive…everyday of the year…and not in a good way…I don’t dress in costume, that’s for gays on Broadway, but I do appreciate people who do…not to mention my whole internet life is in a mask so maybe I’m a gay on Broadway…who knows…

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