Modern Day Journalism
 
 

Archive for the Love Category

2009

06

Nov

Slumdog Millionaires Stick Together of the Day

Here’s a beautiful love story that starts when the Westerner comes to exploit your country but needs your help in making it happen, so he brings you on the project for far less than he’d pay people in Hollywood to be in his movie, cuz outsourcing to India is just how things are done these days. Then that Westerner happens to be doing the same hustle to some local slut who is far better than looking than any girl you’ve ever thought about having 16 babies with, and you assume this is some kind of gift from your elephant with 8 arms god chosen from a billion people and put into your lap. So instead of using your new found Hollywood fame to get pussy like you wouldn’t believe from all fucking angles like you’re supposed to, you decide to stick to your own because you’re a fucking racist and hold your own in high esteem and see a future with cuz you’re too good for non Indian people and the thought of dipping your brown dick into new pussy from another culture makes you sick to your stomach all because you care too much about what your parents and family think….good times.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Love|Slumdog Millionaire

2009

20

Oct

Katy Perry and Russell Brand are Disgusting in Love of the Day

This is a horrible way to wake up, the only salvation we have is that Russell Brand’s heroin addiction was actual fact and not just a bullshit book he wrote as an “autobiography” from his parent’s basement that lead to his MTV career and that lead to his Hollywood career, and that he shared needles, is too scared to get tested for AIDS and has infected this Katy Perry dog so they both live sick and miserable lives with no energy to perform ever again.

The only thing that makes sense in all this is that I thought brand was a full poofter and that his sex jokes were all just the same bullshit that landed him his career, when really he wanted to rim Seth Rogan with his cock head or some shit, so that would explain why he’s so smitten with Katy Perry, because he doesn’t realize she is the ugly pig that she is, he just knows pretending to kiss her is good for his career…..and the whole thing is pretty fucking sick.

Pics via INFphoto

Posted in:Katy Perry|Love|Russell Brand

2009

24

Jul

Tara Reid is Still Alive and She’s in Some Shorts of the Day

Tara Reid was at some party and I thought she was trying to seduce the bottles of booze, at least it looks like she’s coming onto it pretty hard, all pussy out and ready to take it all in, but it turns out she’s got a new man and his name is Michael Axtmann….

Now, Michael Axtmann is a really lucky guy. Not only did he get Tara Reid ten years after her prime, you know so that he doesn’t have to deal with pretty much anyone wanting to fuck her, except for maybe a few latch-ons who can’t let go, because after years of hard drinking and drug use while not working, people tend to forget about you, as long as they are OCD creepy chronic masturbations, but he also gets Carson Daly’s sloppy fuckin’ seconds and that’s something I’m not too sure I’d be able to live with, I’m talking murder suicide after someone tells me a bitch I am with banged Carson Daly, no matter how much younger or crazier she was. Not to mention everytime he pulls down her pants, not only does he see Carson lookin’ back at him, but he also realizes he’s hallucinating thanks to whatever fumes she’s got seeping out of her pussy, pores and pretty much all her orifices as her body tries to eliminate the pollution.

I guess the good news for her is that he’s German and has no problem with the fact that she’s lost control of her bowels, if anything that’s probably the reason why he’s with her…

And here she is in shorts and I think I’m in love.

Posted in:Beach|Love|Shorts|Tara Reid

2009

09

Apr

Heidi and Spencer Bring Their Bullshit Love to the Streets of the Day

Here are Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt livin’ up the lie that people believe because they have nothing better to do with themselves and the paparazzi are going nuts with the shit like these clowns are relevant. The other day, I hit them up on Twitter, because I use Twitter despite how gay it sounds and asked Spencer if he’s ever knocked Heidi up and he was pretty quick to say no. He went out of his way to tell me he hasn’t. He also said he has his own in the house they share, and that’s where he fucks Brody Jenner while Heidi is in the other room staring at her cunt self in the mirror. I want to hate these clowns, but I can’t, because everytime I dream about myself, I am played by Heidi Montag and have a feeling that means we’re soulmates, unfortunately, she has no soul….

Here they are trying to promote her new shit songs that Spencer pretends are the next big thing, while the rest of the world knows shit’s a fucking disaster….

Here’s the video of them working their bullshit for the paparazzi…

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Love|Publicity Stunt|Spencer Pratt

2009

03

Apr

Miley Loves Her Daddy of the Day

Here’s a little awkward father daughter moment, between Miley and Billy Ray, you know keepin’ shit country, because if he made her, she belongs to him and he can do what he wants with her and you can’t say anything about it, meddler.

It’s the kind that reminds you of that porno movie that inspired you, about the father/daughter sexual relationship that went sour when the ugly sister finds out and feels inadequate.

You know comedic gold with legendary lines like “the stuff that made you going back in you” and “you sure didn’t learn that from your mother” and “stick it in her ass Leroy, I don’t want no bastard grandbabies”.

Unfortunately, that I can’t seem to find anywhere because shit was bootleg. It’s called Sharon, was shot in ’75, takes place in Atlanta, so peep that shit out if you can, it changed my life.

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Dad|Love|Miley Cyrus

2008

14

May

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Fake Love of the Day

I almost found love as real as Jennifer Love’s love. I was cruising through the ghetto last night and some 60 year old in a belly button shirt and short short approached us and told us that for 50 dollars she would do anything we wanted her to do. We’re talking fucking her from any position, with or without condom, and even busting our load anywhere we want including inside her. The only difference between the love I was going to find with this toothless down on her luck addict with a stretch-marked stomach pushing 60 and the love that Jennifer Love Hewitt has found, is that her whore is a tall normal lookin’ dude, and he doesn’t charge by the hour, it’s more of a full time gig for him and he’s not much of an actor because this shit looks more staged than the high school play I was trying to organize with the local highschool, but that never panned out because the police investigated my intentions when the highschool called them and told them that some random dude with no affiliation to the school was trying to recruit their students into performing live sex acts on stage for him and his friends in his living room.


Related Posts:

Jennifer Love Hewitt Hangs With Fatter Girls Than Her /a>
Jennifer Love Hewitt’s Fat Fuckin’ Ass in a Bikini
Jennifer Love Hewitt Not So Hot at the Beach

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Love

2007

08

Oct

I am – Megan Fox and her Boyfriend of the Day

megan_fox_ice_cream.jpg

I am always happy to see Megan Fox with her boyfriend, mainly for you because it gives losers like you hope that one day you will bag a hot chick. I know that in Megan Fox’s case she was probably diddling herself to David on 90210 when she was growing up so for her she’s living the fuckin’ dream and that no girl has ever diddled herself for you, so your Megan Fox will never come out of the woodwork and sweep you out of your shitty fucking life, but at least there’s hope and delusion is just as good as reality because at least you believe it and if you believe it then it’s truth. See how fuckin’ deep I am, and it’s all because Megan Fox and David from 90210 bring out my internal philosopher, it’s got nothing to do with you inspiring me because you don’t inspire anyone, you don’t even inspire your mother enough to admit that you came from her pussy.

Bonus: Megan Fox Ass in Denim


Related Posts:

Megan Fox in Shorts Pictures
Megan Fox and Her 90210 Boyfriend
Megan Fox is a Skater Girl
Megan Fox’s Boyfriend’s Boner

Posted in:Ass|Brian Austin Green|Love|Megan Fox|Unsorted

2007

03

Oct

I am – Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen Are Fuckin' of the Day

rachel_bilson_bf.jpg

I always rip into ginger-haired people for scaring the fuck out of me and people get mad thinking I am some kind of racist against people with orange hair….which I guess I kinda am because I am scared of them, but when you hear about people being scared of clowns or spiders or rape, they get a lot less hate than I do when I say that their transparent eyelashes and eyebrows, pale freckled color skin and insane strength from being coded genetically differently than normal humans because their breed used to be seen as devil children and left in the woods to fend for themselves and that’s why the ones you see today are from the “surviving” gingers.

Either way, I was checking out a tight bodied chick in leggings, like every fucking girl in this city wears, which I find really un-fucking-inspiring even though I can make out every dimple in her ass and usually what her pussy looks like, but I still like a little variety and seeing everyone dressed the same is some serious laziness that girls need to put a stop too, we get it, shit’s comfortable and kinda hot and all your friends are doing it, but you could at least fucking try to be your own person.

Regardless, I’m checking out her ass in her leggings and some fucking Ginger comes out of nowhere, like they often do, because they are sneaky as fuck and I was tempted to save her from him because I know when ginger’s are linked up with girls they’re trouble, but then dude slid is hand on her tight 19 year old ass, and she looked and him and lovingly smiled. I was trying to figure out whether she did it because she knew if she didn’t he’d lock her in her cage, or maybe she was color blind and didn’t notice the fact that his hair was orange and skin see-through and splotchy, but then I came to terms with the fact that he probably has rich parents and he probably buys her shit to keep her around….

I kinda feel like the same kind of thing is going on with Rachel Bilson and the dude from Star Wars. Looking at them together makes me feel kinda sick, but then I realize that he probably buys her nice things, and girls like nice things….so no chance of your hurtbag ass to ever get a quality chick to use you, but I did see an episode of Jerry where some ghetto black girl bragged about her boyfriend buying her fried chicken and I’m not even joking or trying to make a racial slur. Sometimes the funniest things in life write themselves….thanks for the laughs Bilson…..

Rachel Bilson Hard Nipple Picture
Rachel Bilson Eats Cheetos With Her Daughter….Who Isn’t Her Daughter….
Mischa Barton’s Ass in Leggings…
Mischa Barton’s Dumpy Ass and Legs Pictures

Posted in:Hayden Chistensen|Love|Rachel Bilson|Relationship|Unsorted

2007

03

Oct

I am – Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen Are Fuckin’ of the Day

rachel_bilson_bf.jpg

I always rip into ginger-haired people for scaring the fuck out of me and people get mad thinking I am some kind of racist against people with orange hair….which I guess I kinda am because I am scared of them, but when you hear about people being scared of clowns or spiders or rape, they get a lot less hate than I do when I say that their transparent eyelashes and eyebrows, pale freckled color skin and insane strength from being coded genetically differently than normal humans because their breed used to be seen as devil children and left in the woods to fend for themselves and that’s why the ones you see today are from the “surviving” gingers.

Either way, I was checking out a tight bodied chick in leggings, like every fucking girl in this city wears, which I find really un-fucking-inspiring even though I can make out every dimple in her ass and usually what her pussy looks like, but I still like a little variety and seeing everyone dressed the same is some serious laziness that girls need to put a stop too, we get it, shit’s comfortable and kinda hot and all your friends are doing it, but you could at least fucking try to be your own person.

Regardless, I’m checking out her ass in her leggings and some fucking Ginger comes out of nowhere, like they often do, because they are sneaky as fuck and I was tempted to save her from him because I know when ginger’s are linked up with girls they’re trouble, but then dude slid is hand on her tight 19 year old ass, and she looked and him and lovingly smiled. I was trying to figure out whether she did it because she knew if she didn’t he’d lock her in her cage, or maybe she was color blind and didn’t notice the fact that his hair was orange and skin see-through and splotchy, but then I came to terms with the fact that he probably has rich parents and he probably buys her shit to keep her around….

I kinda feel like the same kind of thing is going on with Rachel Bilson and the dude from Star Wars. Looking at them together makes me feel kinda sick, but then I realize that he probably buys her nice things, and girls like nice things….so no chance of your hurtbag ass to ever get a quality chick to use you, but I did see an episode of Jerry where some ghetto black girl bragged about her boyfriend buying her fried chicken and I’m not even joking or trying to make a racial slur. Sometimes the funniest things in life write themselves….thanks for the laughs Bilson…..

Rachel Bilson Hard Nipple Picture
Rachel Bilson Eats Cheetos With Her Daughter….Who Isn’t Her Daughter….
Mischa Barton’s Ass in Leggings…
Mischa Barton’s Dumpy Ass and Legs Pictures

Posted in:Hayden Chistensen|Love|Rachel Bilson|Relationship|Unsorted