Getting drunk and trying to convince girls to wrestle, only to find out that they are undercover cops, is only fun if they don’t end up arresting you.

The highlight of the night wasn’t trying to convince girls to wrestle, or to fuck, it never really is, I get too drunk and have no where to bring them due to marriage, but it was convincing at least one girl to show me her tits…sure she was a stripper and it was her job, but I still feel like she was doing it for me…and only me…I guess I’m a hopeless romantic like that.

Here are some links…

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The good thing about this brain injury is that I feel high all the time. I am pretty sure it isn’t fatal, since it has been three days and I’m not dead, but if it is just long and drawn out, dying isn’t so bad. I feel kind of like Lohan’s career…..

Here are some links to start your day…while I hunt for a wet nurse to breast feed me.

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I have decided the hottest thing ever is skinny girls eating ribs in little shorts and bikini tops…because I witnessed it on a patio last night…and the bone sucking, licking fingers, all while giggling and looking hot, giving me a raging boner, even though I know in 5 years they’ll all be fat, dumpy, 25 year olds. I am learning to appreciate the now…you know enjoy the moment….cuz it’s not like I’m fucking them regardless….who cares…here are some morning links….

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I was walking my dog and saw his vision in the shortest shorts jog by me….I thought to myself…what an amazing outfit to jog in….you hot fucking bitch who just made herself that much hotter…in spandex…She was running with her boyfriend and I figured I’d never see her again after cursing him for being able to fuck that ass…..20 minutes later I’m walking back, and the girl is lying on the sidewalk holding her knee….injured and the boyfriend probably ran for help…or something….I asked her if she was ok…debating whether there is in fact a god because opportunities like this don’t happen ever….she said she was and I kept walking…only to never see her again…cuz I fail often…even in love…with girls in short shorts…

I should have told her “I’m trained in CPR, and mouth to mouthed her”….or used her inability to stand to carry her to safety….I use the word safety loosely….cuz you never look a gift horse in the mouth….you fuck it…

Either way lost love or not…here are he morning links…

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The smartest thing I ever did was tell my wife I was impotent, you see because she’s so fucking disgusting looking and more importantly smelling, cuz looks can always be ignored with closing your eyes, I could never get hard for her, so I made my crackhead friend write me a fake doctor’s note, so now when I come home smelling of pussy, I just tell her I haven’t showered and my natural scent is pussy….must have something to do with the impotency….you know my loss of manhood….I’m a genius.

Here are some morning link…

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I spent all weekend sexting and it really isnt’ that gratifying…You know pretty much telemarketing bitches to send titty pics – investing hours into pretty much nothing but a picture…when all these whores are horny enough to fuck if you had enough energy to get off the couch…and enough energy to go make shitty conversation with shitty pussy you now have to fuck….

Here’s some morning links….cuz it’s still morning in the west coast

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I spent the night at an art show for elementary school kids….I figured it would be a good opportunity to seduce single moms a couple days before mother’s day, a time their depression of the decision of not aborting really sets in….Needless to say…mom’s, especially poor depressed moms, aren’t all that hot…even the ones you knew were daytime strippers were weak….thank god for masturbation.

I know it isn’t morning, but that’s what drinking does to you.

Posted in:MHD