Modern Day Journalism
 
 

Archive for the Mom Jeans Category

2007

09

Nov

I am – Elisha Cuthbert in Stupid Pants of the Day

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I met a homeless looking guy who claimed he dated Elisha Cuthbert when she was in high school, because she’s from Montreal. He was telling me everything about her, from what her tits looked like, to what her pussy smelled and tasted like. He claimed that he knocked her up and she got an abortion and that letting her do that was the biggest mistake he ever made, because now his living on the street and he’ should be in a k-fed position. When I told him that if she had kept the baby, she would have never got work in LA, she’d be too busy trying to make ends meet..and by making ends meet, I mean suckin’ dick in back alleys and working the pole like all good teenage mothers.

The good thing about being impotent is that the less complicated things in life are amazing to me. Because the second you stick your dick in a girl it’s like you’ve locked yourself into some kind of problem that will present itself down the line, in my case it was just dealing with the rejection of them not wanting to fuck me again, and obviously the trying to cum during sex while they were crying, which is always hard to do because I am a nice guy.

Either way, I know that if I could get it up, I’d probably be fucking hookers every chance I got, and if I wasn’t fucking hookers, I’d be trying to fuck every little slut I come across, and that would make me a pretty bad husband, and since keeping up this husband of the year shit that’s so fuckin’ important to the core of who I am, I only make out with girls and suck their tits and try to finger bang them or go down on them and as far as I’m concerned that’s not cheating…..So what it comes down to is that my sex life is one of a 15 year old kid but with a lot more risk of catching STDs on my face, or getting girls pregnant with my tongue.

Either way, at least homeless dude can sleep well at night in his box while coming off whatever drugs he was on, knowing that he got her in her prime and that aging is playing a pretty mean joke on her and it’s always nice to see your hot teenage girlfriend turn into a washed up 35 year old fat chick with 4 babies and a lot of misery because her husband cheats on her and she’s poorer than you are, hypothetically of course….

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert Looks Like a Jewish Retiree
Elisha Cuthbert In a Bikini
Elisha Cuthbert’s Cleavage and Unlit Cigarette for Horny Lohan Wanker
Elisha Cuthbert Smokin’ For Horny Lohan Wanker

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Hot|Mom Jeans|Unsorted

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian’s Mom Jeans of the Day

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I was at a bar the other day and I saw 2 chicks making out with each other. They were like half-breed lesbians who didn’t think it was funny when I moved in and asked for a 3-way kiss. They were too busy being into each other and it was pretty much a waste of a hot chick. She looked really hot in her tight skirt and cleavage exposing shirt and the way she moved made her look like a dirty little fuck. She on this sexually liberated experimental kick that girls go through, but she wasn’t in the mood for any cock. Not that I had any cock to offer but they were blowing off dudes from every angle. I don’t think they were pulling the whole frat boy chick making out thing to get guys to look at them but I do think they were legitimately into each other and not doing it for attention, but because they were drunk and horny and were going to go home to fuck the shit out of each other in the scissor stance. I didn’t find it hot to watch and refused to watch the spectacle because I can’t deal with hot lesbians who turn down cock. I can deal with lesbians who look like dudes and wear leather because they are just man hating rape victims and shit, but hot lesbians who I want to fuck but who don’t want anything to do with me or any other penis for that matter but hot chicks who who are into other hot chicks and refuse dick just piss me the fuck off.

Either way, Kardashian may not be into girls and she may be into black dude cock, because black guys are good at working the huge fucking asses but she’s rockin’ a pair of mom jeans, that make her ass look even bigger than usual and that remind me more of the man hating lesbians who work construction and drink been than the hot little sluts who don’t like dudes who I saw the other day. Both are equally annoying.


Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian and Jenna do Heatherette Fashion Show
Kristen Davis and Kim Kardashian are Friends
Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass

Posted in:Ass|Booty|cleavage|Kim Kardashian|Mom Jeans|Tits|Unsorted

2007

26

Sep

I am – Kim Kardashian's Mom Jeans of the Day

kim_kardashian_momjeans_top1.jpg

I was at a bar the other day and I saw 2 chicks making out with each other. They were like half-breed lesbians who didn’t think it was funny when I moved in and asked for a 3-way kiss. They were too busy being into each other and it was pretty much a waste of a hot chick. She looked really hot in her tight skirt and cleavage exposing shirt and the way she moved made her look like a dirty little fuck. She on this sexually liberated experimental kick that girls go through, but she wasn’t in the mood for any cock. Not that I had any cock to offer but they were blowing off dudes from every angle. I don’t think they were pulling the whole frat boy chick making out thing to get guys to look at them but I do think they were legitimately into each other and not doing it for attention, but because they were drunk and horny and were going to go home to fuck the shit out of each other in the scissor stance. I didn’t find it hot to watch and refused to watch the spectacle because I can’t deal with hot lesbians who turn down cock. I can deal with lesbians who look like dudes and wear leather because they are just man hating rape victims and shit, but hot lesbians who I want to fuck but who don’t want anything to do with me or any other penis for that matter but hot chicks who who are into other hot chicks and refuse dick just piss me the fuck off.

Either way, Kardashian may not be into girls and she may be into black dude cock, because black guys are good at working the huge fucking asses but she’s rockin’ a pair of mom jeans, that make her ass look even bigger than usual and that remind me more of the man hating lesbians who work construction and drink been than the hot little sluts who don’t like dudes who I saw the other day. Both are equally annoying.


Related Posts:

Kim Kardashian and Jenna do Heatherette Fashion Show
Kristen Davis and Kim Kardashian are Friends
Kim Kardashian Bikini Pictures
Kim Kardashian’s Armenian Ass

Posted in:Ass|Booty|cleavage|Kim Kardashian|Mom Jeans|Tits|Unsorted