Unlike Angelina Jolie, Monica Bellucci, still has her tits.

Monica Bellucci, who I assume is not related to Jim Belushi, even though it’d be hard to know they weren’t if this was a conversation and not in writing…because writing out their names that are spelled totally different, has put a damper on that ANGLE.

She has been celebrated by Italian Americans harder than if she was an empty container on the back of a truck, filled with Fur Coats / Cured Meats / Lobsters Filled with Heroin, or other MOB shit like arson for insurance settlements, being involved in Payola for the music industry, gambling…I mean VEGAS….even though the MOB doesn’t exist…

She must be in her 50s even 60s by now, I’m too lazy to google her, but I know she’s been around as long as I’ve had the internet and I got the internet in 1995. It was a simpler time in trolling actual nerds…before the mainstream came in and ruined it.

She is in this magazine, and like my Italian Barber would Say “Mamma Mia”….I don’t think he’d actually say that but I don’t know wop shit…that’s as good as it gets…blame the Mario Brothers…

Posted in:Monica Bellucci|SFW

Monica Bellucci is still hot at 54 years old, must be all the olive oil. Natures lubrication for anal sex.

I used to work with this Greek pervert in a Warehouse who was fucking the fat secretary or “receptionist” or “administrative assistant” depending on what level of fucking pussy who hates traditional gender norms…and who doesn’t call a stwardess a stewardess or a Air Waitress but instead subscribes to the non-gender specific “Flight Attendant” …shut the fuck up you Christmas Hating fuck…Yes..cuz you’re the same asshole who wishes people a Happy Holiday because you fear offending them…fuck you can offend someone by saying “I thought you were a girl” while realizing they have a dick in their panties…on your TINDER dry hump sessions….

Anyway….I used to work with this Greek pervert in a Warehouse and he’d just go on an on about fucking the fat secretary up the ass using Olive Oil…making the kind of salad he was into…shit on dick…salad…

This has nothing to do with Monica Bellucci at 54…but I used to get my haircut before I gave up on life a decade ago….when Bellucci was 44 by some Italian guy…and he would just talk about her tits..and how great they are despite her age…which I guess is rare in Italy as the woman usually have full beards and are 300 pounds of Ravioli by 44….while this bitch is still someone you’d want to put your dick in her ravioli….which isn’t saying much….we’d fuck anything…including seniors at the home who have alzheimers so that no one believes them when they tell on you – so some hot busty famous Italian at 54 is a no brainer…

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Posted in:Monica Bellucci|SFW

Monica Bellucci may be old as fuck, but Italians are such a loyal and emotional people, at least based on my barber’s behavior, which when Monica Bellucci’s name is brought up he freaks the fuck out. Maybe it’s because Italians are pressured to marry Italian women and she’s an iconic Italian woman, you know to keep the species alive…or maybe it’s because they are all momma’s boys and marrying the closest thing to their mother is what leads them to Italian women…or maybe they just like big tits they used to jerk off to back in Italy when they were little boys…and despite being 40 now…remember the glory days…but whatever it is…and I’ll go with tits…Monica Bellucci has maintained relevance…

These are apparently pictures of her showing off her nipples – in a shirt…like it was the late 1990s and I just got the internet and her nudes were all over the Thumbnail Gallery Posts I would jerk off to..only 20 years later…and less interesting…but still a reminder of what was and thanks to the glory of the internet – I can just google her at her best…which my barber would think are these pics…because he likes growing old with her…weird and weathered…her tired face not sexy….but these italians.. they do make great pizza…and we like pizza.

Posted in:Monica Bellucci|SFW

Monica Bellucci is Italy’s pride and joy…in all her busty glory….she’s pretty much the hottest thing they have going for her…and if you don’t believe me, just ask any Italian in his 40s….to them, she’s a fucking goddess..

She’s also a reminder of early internet porn, where I would jerk off to celebrity tits, when celebrities were still celebrities and not fame whoring, attention seeking, social media content producing, losers who get overpaid for their low level of talent.

I guess Monica Bellucci did some nude scenes, and had these massive tits, in an era you could still jerk off to great big tits..

I guess she’s in the new James Bond, as the older bond babe, for that international market or some shit, so she did LUI magazine, the french Men’s magazine…with nudity, where she barely showed off her nipples, and is barely nude, or even suggestive, but where she still has big tits…is still hot and that you could probably jerk off to…especially if you’re an Italian barber…and you still have her 1990s glamour shots at your work station….hometown pride…far better than your wife looks..

Posted in:Monica Bellucci|SFW

Italians fucking LOVE Monica Bellucci and I guess Mexicans do too…because here she is in Marie Claire Mexico…for the Italians…who use her as hope that their Italian wife will age into hotness and not into their Nona with her beard you find in her normally fantastic lasangna recipe…when you go back to the mother country on summer vacation from your job in New Jersey working in construction…or whatever it is that Italians do..

Posted in:Monica Bellucci|SFW

I used to get my haircut, back when I had a job, probaby 10 years ago, before I threw in the towel on a regular life, and decided to be as homeless as possible, because when I had a job, and I’d walk by homeless people, I would envy their existence, but in my filthy, perverted, ways, I couldn’t commit to living on the street, so I figured just stay with my fat wife who paid the rent on our shitty apartment, but at least I won’t be cold at night, except when she forgets to pay the electric bill, but that’s better than lviing on a bench, for a reclusive person with a blog..

That said…

My barber was this Italian, because I guess italian’s don’t find running their hands through another man’s hair gay…even though I felt being touched like that a little too romantic..for man on man action…which I guess is why I’m posting these pics of Monica Bullucci…for my Eduardo or whatever the fuck his name was…it was 10 years ago…who had pictures of her all over his shop and would talk about her to a creepy level…

Because I guess, my barber married a fat hairy Italian, probbaly one who looked a bit like me, which is why he was so gentle with his touch…

And Monica Bellucci was the beacon of hope…the reminder than not all italian women are disgusting..

Posted in:Monica Bellucci|SFW