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Archive for the Paparazzi Category

2009

03

Nov

Lady Gaga Kils a Paparazzi of the Day

I want to know who the fuck is paying off everyone for Lady Gaga’s career.

Last night she awarded for her contribution to style in New York. I realize that decision makers don’t always know what’s u and a lot of politics and money go into making these choices and I get that it is easy for idiots to get confused by what Lady Gaga does, thinking it may be fashionable, when really it is fucking ridiculous and circus shit and I understand that Lady Gaga is all the fucking rage today, so if you have an award to give, givingit to her is good marketing because the second she shows to your event, people will know you exist or some shit….but am I the only one who is bored of this bitch. Doesn’t anyone else see through her bullshit, can’t they see she’s a joke and a machine fabricated by a record company to cater to the gay market? Do people really think this is authentic and not contrived? It just doesn’t make sense to me. She is not talented or fashionable, she is just a stain on pop culture….at least she covers her disgusting face….

The craziest thing in all this is that when Gaga showed up to the event, one of the paparazzi fell off a ladder and died. Seriously. That’s just how poisonous this cunt is and the real tragedy in all this is not that a dude died because of Lady Gaga, something I am sure wasn’t on his top 10 list of ways to die, but that it wasn’t her who died because she is the fucking devil and needs to be stopped….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Dead|Lady Gaga|Paparazzi

2009

09

Oct

Lidsay Lohan Hides from the Paparazzi in Paris of the Day

Everyone hates Lohan now. Not only was she booed in Singapore, but she was also booed at Paris Fashion week for a line she released, and even her own dad is booing her by going to the media about her pill popping addiction. She’s old and tired looking and she’s dragging her teen sister in the gutter with her thanks to irresponsible parenting, but I still have a love for her that lies deep, but not deep enough to leave a permanent stain on my dick, just deep enough to feel her pain as her fame and relevance slips away because she’s not a cute little child star or bubbly, fresh faced teen actor anymore and the whole thing makes me wonder if she ever looks at pictures of herself, because she looks like fucking death….but more importantly, if things really get worse for her and she doesn’t kill herself first, not that things can really get worse, but being the nice guy I am, there’s always a bed to sleep in at my place, as long as she doesn’t mind soiled sheets, a 350 pound wife who takes up half the shit, the smell of fish and urine, which she will because she’s a delusional high maintenance snobby cunt like that, despite her bed having the same drawbacks…except for the 350 pound dying wife…since her wife is emaciated.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Paparazzi

2009

05

Jun

Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi Video of the Day

It is no surprise the Gaga is making ou in the beginning of her video because paying a dude is really the only way I can imagine anyone making out with her weak chin, big nosed, monkey lookin’face. The fact that they are specking in some obscure language makes the whole thing more fucking annoying, but seeing her get killed made me cum.

Either way, you all know I hate Gaga. She’s a fake who is biting what the real electro-pop kids are doing in the art scene in New York, and the lies she says about having a performing arts show and being in the scene, is hysterical, because I’ve asked people and no one knows who she is or had ever heard of her, because she’s the kind of girl who no one fucking notices and no one cares about, until a heavy marketing budget gets pumped into her fat ass. Fuck her. Fuck her music. Fuck this video, even though the director killed it, but Gaga ruined it by being in it and by having a career.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Paparazzi

2009

08

May

Lindsay Lohan Throws Eggs at the Paparazzi of the Day

Lindsay Lohan egged the paparazzi, I find this funny, because the paparazzi are fucking cocksuckers who are pretty much bottom feeding pieces of shit who get paid too much to exploit other people, while exploiting people like me, and that just doesn’t sit well with me, all they do is pretty much stalk famous people all night and sell the shit for insane amount of money and most of the time aren’t even real photographers, just fuckin’ slackers. Next time, let’s hope Lohan throws bricks at them, or maybe used tampons, or even herself in some desperate broken hearted lesbian way, because eggs are too high school. Let’s take it up a notch next time.

Posted in:Eggs|Lindsay Lohan|Paparazzi

2009

04

May

Halle Berry Gets Mad at the Paparazzi of the Day

Halle Berry got mad at the paparazzi because they were crowding her space or some shit. Her reasoning was because she had a child with her, one who I assume is her child, he as she tries to protect the motherfucker, is screaming the F-Word in it’s fragile half breed baby ears. I guess what it comes down to is that she should be ashamed of herself for being a failure of a mother, put the fuckin’ thing up for adoption and blow thru her money in a series of bad investments and drug addiction, only to have her turning tricks in the next 5 years, so that I can pay her 20 dollars extra to get her to let me go down on her. Good times.

Posted in:Halle Berry|Paparazzi

2009

01

May

Paparazzi Make a Chris Brown Joke to Jay-Z and Rihanna of the Day

Jay-Z was out with Rihanna having dinner, you know since he has sex with her behind Beyonce’s back, while pretending it is for business, when it’s really because Rihanna is fucking hot and Beyonce’s a fucking cow and the paparazzi got excited. Maybe it has to do with Rihanna being this hot news item, or because they are surprised that someone as ugly as weird lookin’ Jay-Z actually gets pussy even though he is one of the richest black men around, it still always shocks and awes, but whatever the reason was, one of them decided to try to crack some jokes to get some reaction out of him and the joke that made that cut was something about Chris Brown originating Swine Flu. You know some Patient Zero bullshit, it would have been funnier if they surprised him by bringing Beyonce and Chris Brown there to cock block him and go nuts on the motherfucker in some kind of caught in the act shit you’d see on Jerry Springer, but I don’t think the paparazzi have those kinds of connections.

Here’s the Craziness Rihanna Causes and the Same Paparazzi Dropping the Same Joke Cuz I Guess he THought It was a Winner

Posted in:Chris Brown|Jay-Z|Paparazzi|Rihanna

2009

20

Mar

Weird Paparazzi Advice for Ashley Tisdale of the Day

This video is fucking amazing. Some paparazzi immigrant is asking ugly Ashley Tisdale her how fun she can be if she is hiding the happenings of life by not being herself.

I guess I should be easier on the paparazzi, sure they are cocksuckers who email me and bother me about how I owe them money for pictures they claim to take of people, without getting the consent of the people they are getting pictures of, but maybe I should just accept that they need to pay the rent and lack the skills needed to make that happen, since they haven’t quite figured out English.

Either way, this is some strange fucking rap of nonsense and it is fucking gold. Another thing that’s gold…Ashley Tisdale hiding her ugly fucking face from the world, because it means she’s insecure, and realizes she’s not hot, and that makes her easier to get naked. And ugly or not, I like naked…

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Paparazzi

2009

26

Feb

DJ AM’s Ugly Girlfriend Plays it Up For the Paparazzi of the Day

I am over making fun of DJ AM, he does his thing, people like him, he makes lot lots money and I don’t really care anymore, and never really did, it was just an easy thing to make fun of but now I’m bored of it, so instead of focusing on him, calling him Gayer than Bicycle Shorts, calling him a Bar Mitzvah Dj and all the other shit I’ve done so many times before, I’d like take my focus onto his new girlfriend.

She is an American Apparel model, that means she is not a real model. For the most part the girls in American Apparel ads are just American Apparel store workers who crave attention and think they are hotter than they actually are and take the billboards and ads that get published to heart, giving them actual proof of how hot they already thought they are.

What they don’t know is the Dov Charney, the guy who takes the pictures of the girls in the ads and the founder of the company is just a pervert who likes all girls, especially when they are young and free, and willing to do whatever it takes to be in the next campaign.

Now, I’ve got nothing against any of that, girl wants attention, gets naked for her boss, he gives her the exposure her ego wants and everyone’s happy, but I do get annoyed when these kinds of girls think they are anything more than attention whores who can’t be real models.

So seeing this girl pretend to hate that the paparazzi are interrupting her life, that they are annoying and that they don’t deserve to see her face after a quiet night standing next to her celebrity DJ boyfriend as he worked, pisses me off, because it’s a lie.

She is dating AM because he is willing to date her. She is dating him because she wants the good life, the escape from being an American Apparel cashier and maybe, just maybe, people will notice her and give her work that feels as gratifying as the free photoshoot she did half naked for her boss last year. Whore.

Posted in:DJ AM|Paparazzi|Ugly Girlfriend

2009

18

Feb

Lindsay Lohan and Her See Through Shirt Are Mean to the Paparazzi of the Day

The rumor on the internet is that Lohan is out fucking some dude from Gossip Girl, you know paying him late night visits and all that bullshit and the media’s saying that Ronson is all shook up and for once it’s not from playing her favorite AC/DC song in her latest Bar Mitvah DJ set.

Big surprise, some spoiled brat, broken child star with no friends and serious daddy, who loved the cock, fucked a lot of cock and was known for being the resident Hollywood coked up, erratic slut, took a few months off to pretend she was a lesbian decided to go back to the dick…

But as far as I’m concerned, Lohan was never a lesbian, shit was all a publicity stunt. I have never seen them do much more than holding hands and every girl holds her best friend’s hand, it’s just girl behavior or fighting. They only started admitting they were together and loved each other when they realized it was getting them tons of coverage because the media likes homo drama, and they use Myspace and Facebook to let people know how in love they are. It’s a fucking joke.

They are just cocaine buddies who make each other feel better about not following their rehab stints because they are in it together and it’s too bad because Sam Ronson is a cool fucking person, she just needs to get that crazy Lohan stain on society out of her life, even if it means not seeing her awesome tits ever again.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Paparazzi|See Through

2009

13

Jan

Angelyne Loses It on the Paparazzi of the Day

I don’t know who this clown of a pornstar who doesn’t do porn is, but she’s supposed to be some fixture in LA who put up billboards of herself for no reason other than to put up billboards of herself. She’s on some crazy homeless person you’d cross the street to avoid kick, but instead of trying to bug you for spare change, she drives around in a Pink Corvette, with a pink dog, and plastic surgery everything. She’s what I’d expect from a homeless person who came into money, like if he won the lottery and shit, you know posting billboards of himeself and taking his street performance of crazy to the next level and here she is throwing her drink at the paparazzi because that’s the kind of shit crazy people do and here are some random pics of her….in all her really weird glory….

Posted in:Angelyne|Assault|Paparazzi

2009

07

Jan

Samantha Ronson is Too Nice to the Paparazzi of the Day

I am going to take a wild guess here and assume that the Paparazzi didn’t graduate Journalism with Honors back in College. Maybe it’s because they are immigrants who get paid a dollar a day to throw out their broken english while stalking celebrities, maybe it’s gotta do with them being the scum of the fucking earth most likely petty ex drug dealers trying to get legit and jumping on a make money fuckin’ quick scheme, but asking Samantha Ronson if she still loves Lohan is really just a useless fucking question. Firstly, she’s going to obviously say yes, secondly, who gives a fuck, I mean I want to hear about the reason for the fight, I have a feeling it was over what all couples fight about….deciding on matching tattoos, or maybe it was about who paid the last cable bill, or even about something a little deeper than that like over what movie their going to watch when they get back to the hotel room, but more importantly, I want to hear about the make-up sex, in detail, possibly in video.

Either way, it’s nice to see Ronson tell them paparazzi off, because she’s usually pretty calm/quiet and nice about things, so telling them that their question was stupid is a big step. I expected more out of her, she’s supposed to be a lesbian and lesbian are usually a lot angrier than this, at least when directed at me for asking them for a blowjob because I do not believe they are actually lesbians because everyone knows lesbians don’t exist, they are just rape victims and girls with daddy issues or seeking attention in clubs, and are scared of the cock and forced to an alternative lifestyle until they get over that shit….

Posted in:Paparazzi|Samantha Ronson

2009

07

Jan

Zelda Williams and the Paparazzi of the Day

A site called Friendster is really where this site started. Sure, I had been fucking around on the internet for years before that, you know in chat rooms pretending I was a chick and then calling dudes gay after having some of the most obscure cybersex ever and there was the time that I spent a good month trying to get some girl to send me nudes over ICQ and immediately submitted them to an amateur porn site only to send the link back to the girl telling her she should be more careful who she sends nudes to, she was pretty devastated, and there were a whole lot of message boards and people on them who I raped and would try to get banned off of sometimes taking a month, other times a couple of hours or even minutes, and there were probably a whole lot of other drunken shit because the internet was always just a game to me, I never took it seriously, and I never got offended when people would try to flame me, because I knew it was just words on a screen and not real life. The whole Internet thing was introduced to me by some geeky tech savvy roommate I had in 1996. I almost feel bad for the amount of times I jerked off to slow loading porn pics on his computer….

Anyway, Friendster came along about 5 or 6 years ago, in a time when I was forced to work in a warehouse that had an empty desk with an active computer. I have no idea how I found the site, but I do know that I used it to find every random person I came across in my life. I’d find local sluts, new local pussy, random names from IMDB, I’m talking make-up artists and producers and shit like that. The only thing that really came from it was that I’d try to find local girls and I’d send them typical messages that I don’t have examples of, but they were perverted and twisted and creepy and I figured if they got the joke, they were good to keep, if they didn’t, fuck em. In doing this, I met a webcam model who used to send me masturbating videos and videos of her cleaning her house naked, it was before amateurs had places to submit videos and since she was local, I got my friend to fuck her, there were other adventures thanks to Friendster and one of them was starting this site.

Either way, I added this Zelda Williams bitch randomly back then because I read an article on her father and his fat wife and I had always thought he was a fag, so I hit the internet and figured out his daughter’s name. It was really her, she was one probably 17 or 18 at the time and looked like of those girls who takes herself too fucking seriously, the kind of girls who likes David Lynch movies, lesbian singer songwriter music and who has a journal and talks about how much she hates herself like she was in that movie Ghost World. Bitch was a private school girl from San Francisco, and I sent her random messages, trying to get her attention, trying to get a response, ideally to get her teenage pregnant to live off her trust fund and she ignored me and I will never forgive her for that.

A few months later, Friendster deleted my profile, because like Myspace and Facebook, I broke the rules by threatening or sexually harassing some uptight bitch who reported me and that was the end of Friendster for me. A few years later, no one even gives a fuck about Friendster except for people in Singapore and I like to think the beginning of the end for them was banning me.

I am posting this video of Zelda, because I saw it and was reminded of this story, she seems like a nice enough girl when trying to ride her father’s fame into relevancy like she was Rumer Willis, but not when dealing with strange, drunk, old Mexican men on shitty social networking sites. Opportunist Cunt.

Posted in:Paparazzi|Zelda Williams

2008

31

Dec

The Paparazzi Broke Alba’s Mirror of the Day

Let’s hope next time around they cut the brake line…..but only if that works in causing serious enough car accidents that bitch disappears. I like when the guy I assume is Cash “Vagina Destroyer” Warren tries to muscle the paparazzi and gets shoved when he grabs at a camer and runs away with his tail between his legs like a little girl. I mean they break your car and when you try to tough guy them because you’re so fucking angry and can’t stomach the idea of sending your assistant to use 200 dollars of your millions of dollars to fix the shit, they shove you and make you run to your car and back to you cushy fuckin’ life, kinda like pouring salt on a wound and by pouring salt on a wound I mean prove you have a vagina. Good times.

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Paparazzi

2008

12

Nov

The Guy from Everybody Loves Raymond Attacks the Paparazzi of the Day

The paparazzi are such little bitches. You think a guy who crawls into people’s sewers and hides in closets, hedges, or watches people from a van outside, after spending a week following them, in a borderline criminal way, would be a little more gangster. But I guess they know the second they “harass” or provoke the celeb, they lose their job, the celebs have grounds to sue and all the fun is over for everyone….

So Brad Garrett the big guy from Everybody Loves Raymond, a show that makes me want to kill myself and that you hopefully have never watched, tried to fight the paparazzi, because they are annoying and broke some asshole’s camera.

Now I am not a famous person, but if I was recognized at my coffee shop by the girl who works there this morning, probably because I go there often, but it was good enough for me, because her ass is amazing even if her face isn’t, but I would do everything I could to fuck with these pricks without breaking the law. I’d accidentally throw paint at them, or hire a guard dog to follow me around everywhere I go that “accidentally” gets loose and takes one of them out, sure it would get put to sleep. but it’s a small price to pay for my entertainment, and I’d be rich and could afford a new one. Fighting these bitches is just stupid, punching these bitches, leads to pure headaches, it’s worse than punching your wife or girlfriend, because they are all opportunists who press charges because it makes them money and gives them a bullshit story…

Here’s the weasel who’s camera got broken….he isn’t a violent guy, but he is into harassing people.

And who the fuck cares about what the fuck Brad Garrett is doing, why the fuck are paparazzi on his dick anyway, it makes no fucking sense to me……

Posted in:Brad Garrett|Paparazzi

2008

06

Nov

Janice Dickinson Nice for the Paparazzi of the Day

So last week, Janice Dickinson was ripping into the paparazzi for being rats and from the sewers, and I was totally down with that, despite knowing that the paparazzi are the only reason she’s ever spoken of, because she may call herself the first supermodel, I never heard of her until she was working on another supermodel’s TV show and by that time, she was already beat up by the plastic surgeon’s knife and collagen injections that the only thing super about her, was the ability to suck dick without knowing she was sucking dick due to having no nerve endings left in her mouth….

Today she’s striking a pose for the motherfuckers and acting like their best fucking friends and this inconsistency is fuckin’ with my head. I guess she’s crazy, which makes sense, I mean she does have a vagina after all.

Posted in:Janice Dickinson|Paparazzi