I don’t see what the big deal is, so dude convinced kids to have sex while he masturbated in the corner, sounds like a good time to me, I mean in this generation you can’t have a party with teenagers without the sex, he’s just trying to keep shit current and trendy, holding onto his youth and being the cool older guy who faciliates the fun, so I can only blame the Christian policies of the USA for ruining his fun….. like when I got in trouble for buying a 15 year old a bag of coke for a handjob, 14 is legal motherfuckers…fine that never happened…I just gave her crushed up lactose pills but she didn’t know the difference, fine…I never got it on with a 14 year old, not even when I was 14, but it coulda happened and it woulda been legal, cuz I am in Canada….I do know a creep guy who would jerk off to teens fucking when I see one and this dudes mustache should have given him away….
Archive for the Party Category
There’s nothing much better than shoving a bottle of booze down some young drunk girls mouth, you know watching her eyes roll back in a drunken state, as the shit drips down her drunk chin, knowing that as the guy with the supply the chances of her makin’ her pussy talk to you like a sock puppet while you’re back at her hotel for the afterparty is a hell of a lot higher, cuz you’re the trusted bottle dumper and she’s having the time of her fuckin’ life….
I mean unless the girl you’re shoving a bottle of booze down her throat is a famous popstar with obvious fuckin’ issues, because fuckin famous pussy, although potentially more dangerous than fucking prostitute pussy, cuz prostitutes use condoms, is pretty luxurious, at least just for the bragging rights….
What it all comes down to is that if I was stuck with a dude from Sum 41 for more than 5 minutes, I probably would have already killed myself, I wouldn’t have taken the slow, self destructive way….but based on Avril’s lyrics, she’s got way more depth than that and enjoys the suffer for her “artistic” vision of crap….
I am not going to lie, I have no idea who Paul Heyman is. I did some quick research and found out he was involved in wrestling in the 90s, so that’s the reason why, because wrestling in the 90s is when shit got weird and every guido I knew was up on it in such an obsessed way that it was uncomfortable being around them.
I do know Shauna Sand, so when his people sent me the link to these pictures of the whore in action, rockin’ her sheer lingerie at a club, showing off her busted up nipple from botched implant operation after implant operation, because plastic surgery is what she does in her spare time, and I guess so is showing off her nipples , I had no choice but to steal them….
Unfortunately, I was sent these pictures a good 2 weeks ago, I’m just a real slow mover.
This fame hungry rich kid’s plan still seems to be working. I don’t think anyone really gets that people are talking about a girl who peaked on the first season of Simple Life, because the concept was actually funny, and because Nicole Richie carried the show by being a cunt to the everyday people, but we’re still talking about her. I guess that’s just proof that my life is really fucking lame, but let’s face it, I didn’t need Paris Hilton, or her cleavage to learn me that, I kind of already knew, you know with a combination of failing at pretty much everything I’ve tried and having bad sex with bad women since ’85, posting on Paris is just another nail in the coffin, even though I died decades ago….You get what I am saying and here is her cleavage…
It’s always nice to see long lost lovers reunited for the sake of making money, you know the same motivation for their fake publicity stunt relationship. So as Bridget launches her Sexiest Beach TV show, one of those original concepts you’ve never seen before, but I am not hating on it, because I like beaches and bikinis and figure you can never have too much of them, Hefner and Kendra came out to support, why?? because they are all gettin’ paid.
Just because your boyfriend beats you up, doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time, and Rihanna proves that there’s no need to hide in the fucking basement living off the raw meat your asshole husband makes you eat while chained to the fuckin’ radiator because he’s scared you’ll tell someone about what he does to you when no one is looking, you can just suck it up, embrace being abused and have a fucking cocktails partially because it hurts less when you’re drunk, but also because they make you look so fucking fabulous.
I had a rough night last night, it didn’t involve drinking, just a missing person so I got all of 1 hour of sleep, the person’s been found, thanks for asking, but fuck am I tired. Sometimes I wish I was more insensitive instead of trying to save the fuckin’ planet one nipple slip/bikini pic at a time.
Amanda Bynes really loves her legs. She shows them off everywhere she goes. She shouldn’t get too dependent on these legs, you know use them as some kind of security blanket because you never know when you may accidentally step on a land mine and all your leg showing off comes to an immediate end. So time to bring out them tits and vag because based on this video, her personality’s not gonna take her very far…
So this is the story that goes along with this picture:
I spotted Pamela Anderson at the “Angels and Athletes” party at Aja in Tampa, FL this past Saturday.
She was out celebrating (something) the night before the Super Bowl.
Pam was on hand as the headline attraction for the night…unfortunately for her, she forgot to bring her A-Game…or a hairbrush.
I have a feeling she is making this face because shejust felt her busted up uterus slipping out of her skirt because she didn’t wear underwear again, but I guess she could be making this face because she’s scared, or sad, or concerned or even surprised. Maybe it’s got to do with her dying career, beauty or sex appeal….or maybe someone just flashed her the 8 ball of coke she’s about to dig her whore face in, or maybe a guy she once banged just told her he has AIDS and has to tell past lovers by law. I really don’t know or care but someone emailed it to me and I figured I’d switch it up by posting it anyway because I have nothing better to do and no matter how hard I try to go back to sleep and no matter how tired I am right now, the alcohol withdrawal isn’t letting me. Asshole.
So Kate Moss turned 35, it seems like just yesterday she was 34. Sure that was a stupid thing to say, but what the fuck do you expect me to say about some retired model I wanted to have sex with over the course of her career slowly getting older. I could say she’s 5 years til 40, or halfway to 70, but who the fuck cares about that kind of math a third grader can do. So maybe you should just leave me alone and look at the pictures of some of the props she got together for her party.
At first I thought they were a little strange, you know the mounted deer head, the pig on a split, the skeletons engaged in illicit acts, but then I remember the time I showed up to a sorority party with my very own bag of tricks….you know, some duct tape, rope, a couple garbage bags, three cans of beer and some spray paint, scissors, nail clippers, condoms, an enema, a pack of cigarettes, a Halloween mask, some junior mints and booster cables. The dude at the gas station gave me a weird look when I was buying my party favors but had nothing on the reaction I got from the girls who had no idea who I was, but who I am sure never have never forgot me since then…
I remember when I was asked to host a 16 year old girl’s house party, like I was some kind of celebrity and the party I was invited to host was some exclusive club, filled with hot girls and free flowing booze, but it turned I wasn’t really asked to host it, and I was actually an unwanted guest that ended with the police showing up, but not to bust the party like you’d expect with it being 4 in the morning and 50 teenagers underage drinking and making noise, because the girls throwing the party called the cops on me, busting their own party, because that’s just the kind of host I am….an unwelcome one.
So when I got this email of some breast cancer event hosted by the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld, I had no choice but to laugh, because any event booking the Soup Nazi to host their shit is probably pretty poor, but more importantly, the Soup Nazi is still living his 15 minutes, 15 years later.
I never liked Seinfeld, it was too Jewish, so I don’t even know who this clown is, but I know he will probably snap one day when some poor fuck asks him at the airport or maybe in the mall to say his “no soup for you line” and he decides to murder suicide, but until then, he’s hosting charity events.
So I was emailed this picture and had no idea who the fuck I was looking at, so I sent it to my favorite celebrity pervert who loves all these bitches and keeps folders on his computer with all their pictures, he immediately told me it was Mischa Barton and I was immediately reminded that I am fucking retarded because I’ve been doing this celebrity focused website for 4 years and I still can’t recognize a celebrity for the life of me because I just don’t give a fuck about them. I guess that doesn’t matter….
What does matter is that she’s at what I assume is a themed party, because if I see a dude who is clearly a rich kid hanging with a celebrity, in a straw hat and overalls with no shirt on, I fuckin’ hope shit’s a theme party and not some kind of new fashion trend that I’ll have to see on the fuckin’ street like that Ed Hardy shit. I guess Mischa looks alright because she’s covering up that sloppy fuckin’ body, but it would still be a better picture if they traded outfits, but that’s just because I like seeing dudes in dresses, I am weird like that.
Picture Via COBRASNAKE
It was the Winter Music Conference in Miami this past week and I wanted to send someone there to get video footage of all the crazy party people high on drugs, but the WMC decided that my site wasn’t legit or cool enough to cover their shitty week of club djs and I got rejected, so I had to tell the unemployed dude in Miami who owned a video camera that his dreams of being an online TV producer for a shitty site no one reads will have to wait until I trick the WMC that the site isn’t a waste of internet space next year, which turns out to be a pretty hard task because I kinda agree with them.
These are some pictures of Tara Reid on the beach in Miami during the WMC with various men who I can only assume are DJs, club promoters and drug dealers who are in town to support their party lifestyle/industry, because she’s a staple in the club scene internationally and probably won some kind of award for being at the most parties in the last 5 years than any other living human being. I think whatever trophy she got will look good next to her haggard cocaine face, or even next to her old liver she had bronzed after she finally scored that transplant of the liver she stole from 18 year old party girl on Springbreak who she invited back to her room for some exclusive hotel party, at least that’s the only explanation I have for how bitch keeps going.
You know Paris Hilton is a huge star when I find pictures of her dancing at a club and hugging up on some chick like they are best fucking friends for life on Facebook. She’s like one of those accessible celebrities who hangs out with anyone who isn’t famous around her because they are the only people who are impressed by her and it’s good for her ego. They are the kind of people who feel like they are important just because they are in her slut presence and Paris needs that positive affirmation because everyone else in the world thinks she’s a fuckin’ joke. If it wasn’t for these select few ass lickers out there, there wouldn’t even be a Paris Hilton, the harsh reality of her sucking at life would have hit a long time ago and bitch would have jumped off twentieth floor balcony back then.
So as long as there are socialite wannabes and horny dudes willing to fuck some skinny coked up bitch with herpes, there will be a Paris Hilton because she’ll think she has a purpose and we’ll have the facebook uploads as memories of each and everyone one of these club night encounters and I hate all you fuckers for that.
You are the same guy who made this fat bitch I know think she’s all fuckin that, like god’s fucking gift to sucking cock who thinks she gives the best fucking blowjob the world and deserves presents and to be worshipped all because and asshole told her she was awesome. What she doesn’t know is that when getting a blowjob from a willing girl, it’s always the best fucking blowjob and we tell you that it’s the best fucking blowjob because we are trying to fuckin’ cum and if we were to focus on your fucking flaws at giving a blowjob we’d go fuckin’ limp and forced to jerk off like we always fucking do, making the whole blowjob a waste of our time. So don’t let this get to your head bitch, it’s just part of the fuckin’ process and we tell every girl who sucks are dick that she gives the best fucking blowjob and you don’t deserve presents or to be worshipped, because your blowjob was average at best, it was just the best blowjob we were getting at the time. Cuddles.
I can’t figure out what’s worse, partying with Paris Hilton or partying with Paris Hilton and taking a backseat to her when the paparazzi hits, because they have more interest in her than you, when you’re the one who is supposed to be a movie star and she’s just a tranny lookin’ rich kid with a sex tape. It’s gotta be one of those desperate times callin’ for desperate measures in Elisha Cuthbert’s career but at least she’s wearing a Jewish Outfit of the Day because Jews always succeed and this projection shit may work…..I’ll admit, I didn’t really spend all that much time thinking about this important issue and Ididn’t spend all that much time writing this post. I’m sick, it happens, Fuck You.
I saw these picture of Danielle Lloyd the other day and wasn’t too impressed, because the ass flash picture wasn’t released. I don’t remember who she is, probably from Big Brother UK but I do know that she’s one of those chicks who constantly exposes herself and when I see her name in the boards I rip my pictures off of, usually means a guaranteed post…
Reality is that I like slutty lookin girls who dress in revealing clothes. I like girls who show off their bodies and don’t wear panties. I like being with girls who like to flash their bodies and their body parts discreetly even though they usually suck in bed, but watching other guys get hard over them is a total power trip. Unfortunately that hasn’t happened since I got one of my chicks to not wear panties one night and discreetly expose the shit, but that was a long fucking time ago….
I also like girls who like sex. So I spent the last hour sitting on a park bench outside a maternity store. I do this sometimes because I like to let the girls know that I know what they’ve been up to by giving them dirty looks or creepy smirks. In my head I think to myself how that bitch let a dude bust nut inside her and smile and I know she knows I know she let some dude bust in her and that in a few months so will the rest of the world….it’s kinda like she’s released a sex tape or has starred in a porn flick that I’ve never seen, but I still know she was in it.
Here are those Danielle Lloyd pics.