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Archive for the Photoshoot Category

2010

03

Jun

Miranda Kerr is a Catholic School Girl for Numero of the Day

Numero #114 Miranda Kerr from Greg Kadel Studios on Vimeo.

Miranda Kerr is doing some Fifth Element meets Catholic School Girl meets fetish club in this latest photoshoot for Numero magazine. She’s showing her tits, which is good, because she’s a model and a model is essentially just an overpaid stripper who doesn’t look like her face and pussy are falling off due to use, crack addiction, many babies with different men, a broken life of suffering, struggle and doin’ whatever it takes to feed their kids cuz their shitty implants fucked up the milk producing ability, only better….

If you can afford their day rate, pretend you’re a photographer, and set up an elaborate scene….bitch will take off her fucking clothes and do whatever it takes, and that’s always nice when her career is based on being in lingerie and swimsuits, making us need to see her nipple color, shape, size and texture to help us get off to her….we’re desensitized and have more needs than we used to.

I don’t really get the whole Catholic Schoolgirl fetish. The reality is that every Catholic Schoolgirl I have ever met has been heavy into blow and fucking….shit oppresses them so much that even when they are 20 they have ill-feelings about the nuns, but more importantly, the way they rebel is always with their pussies. This one I used to fuck would make me fuck her with a virgin mary statue she stole from her mom years earlier cuz it was the only way she could cum. I am not even joking about the shit, it’s like Catholicism totally fucks people up in a pretty decent way when you’re on the receiving end….not that you care about me fucking….

But you do care about Miranda Kerr in this photoshoot….and here are the pics…

Posted in:Catholic Schoolgirl|Miranda Kerr|Photoshoot|Tits

2010

29

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Half Naked in a Photoshoot of the Day

Lindsay Lohan pisses me off. I’ve been talking to her for years and she never really bothers with me. She never let’s me play with her tits, she never come to visit me to take pics of her, she doesn’t even follow me on fucker twitter and to be honest, I don’t even know if the person I text back and forth with once a month when she decides to answer me, is probably not even Lohan to begin with, but the delusion or fantasy that it is is enough to keep me happy and think my life is a bigger deal than it is, not cuz Lohan is a big deal, but because she’s a bigger deal than the assholes in my apartment building, you know since Lohan, no matter how cracked the fuck out, pathetic, useless she’s still the hottest pussy in Hollywood, and I’m not just saying that cuz when you’re done with it, you look like your dick has second degree burns, but because she’s fucking awesome.

She did a shoot for some photographer, she didn’t invite me to it…but it’s kinda hot….if you like Lohan covered in fake blood rolling around in her panties like I do…

Posted in:Half Naked|Lindsay Lohan|Photoshoot

2010

15

Apr

Scarlett Johansson Boring in a Vintage Lookin’ Ad Campaign of the Day

I have jerked off to vintage pictures from the 60s a few times. Once was when I was working in construction and found a tin box of nude photos, letters and a tuft of pubic hair in a pink kleenex in the wall we were demolishing….another time was when I was staying at my friend’s mother’s house out of town and she had a few framed family photos of their daughter in her bikini, a girl I found out died in a horrible accident a few hours after that picture was taken, making me feel like I fucked a ghost. I’ve also jerked off to old issues of Playboy…There’s just something about a aging photo shot on film of a woman I know has aged too, if she’s even still alive, that fires me up….

These pictures of Scarlett Johansson copying that shit isn’t quite as exciting as my experience with actual pictures from the 60s, but I guess it was a good enough try by Mango, except for the fact that she’s wearing clothes and a married woman who has lost pretty much all her sex appeal….but you may dig it.

Posted in:Mango|Photoshoot|Scarlett Johansson

2010

01

Mar

Audrina Patridge Doing What She’s Supposed to Be Doin’ of the Day

With a little photoshop and little clothes Audrina is fuckin’ rockin, so I’m not sure why her career is based on her not being half naked and photoshopped. I seriously would not hate her nearly as much as I do if she just embraced what she was supposed to be doing, instead of polluting TV and events like some kind of fucking joke she clearly is on the regular, when she could just be releasing pictures of her naked or topless on the regular instead. Sure, I’m not a manager or agent, and if I was all I would be doing is trying to get the bitches in as little clothing as possible, but I am a man and I can tell you that in Audrina’s case, it would really make her a valid contribution to society, instead of the stain on society she’s become, so let’s just hope this is a preview of what’s to come, because if she’s capable of this, she’s capable of more, dirtier and better shit, just as soon as she gets her head out of her ass and realizes this is all she has going for her….

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Bikini|Photoshoot

2010

24

Feb

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Nipples and Ass in a Photoshoot of the Day

These are some Alessandra Ambrosio pictures of her ass and tits. The photographer’s name is Jannis “The Anus” Tsipoulanis, but I’m thinking we need to start referring to him as the guy who has a much better life, more interesting friends, and a lot more custom jerk off material than our loser selves who can’t even convince our girlfriends to let us take pics of their nipples to put on the internet to show our friends that we really aren’t pathetic virgin losers. Seriously, how funny is it that this dude’s job is taking these pictures, while your job, if you have one is stocking shelves at the grocery store. It’s on some survival of the fittest shit that really makes life unfair, but the good news is that Jannis the Anus likes to share…so we can pretend we were their when this all went down.

Collectively, we suck at life and we should all that Jannis the Anus for proving that…..even though we didn’t really need proof. These could be old these or these could be new, I don’t really know because I don’t keep on top of Alessandra Ambrosio’s photoshoot schedules, despite how much of a loser it may seem like I am for having this site….but what difference does it really make…

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Ass|Nipples|Photoshoot

2010

26

Jan

Miranda Kerr in her Bikini Like It’s Her Job of the Day

Miranda Kerr is still getting paid to be on your dream vacation that you will never go on because any extra money you have you insist on putting into your piece of shit pick-up truck, or repairing your second hand real doll, or into a new more powerful computer to use for your role playing games that have replaced any hope for a social life you may have, or maybe it you’re an outgoing virgin loser, you’re spending your money on collector items like action figures, comic books and DVDs, or maybe just maybe you’re cool enough to spend you money on hard drugs, hard liquor and hard-faced women….and she’s doing it in a bikini…and she’s lookin’ pretty fucking okay according to me…but I’m probably not the best judge of these things since I raped a woman’s sock I found in the park….here are the pics…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Miranda Kerr|Photoshoot

2009

09

Dec

Alessandra Ambrosio Doing Victoria’s Secret Photoshoot of the Day

Alessandra Ambrosio doing yoga is a pretty good thing, but I find this shit disappointing. This is a Victoria’s Secret shoot but last time I checked Victoria’s Secret made panties and lingerie and shit and bitch is clearly not wearing a fucking see through thong while in her the downward dog or whatever the yoga position so long as I’m under her and she’s using my face as the fucking yoga mat you know just to see if I can still taste the remnants of the baby she just recently birthed…..or at least guage the damage the baby caused with my tongue and loving every fucking second of it.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Photoshoot|Victoria's Secret

2009

09

Dec

Candice Swanpoel’s Swimsuit Shoot of the Day

She’s one of those hot white girls from South Africa who I want to fuck, only I’m not too sure if she has AIDS or not and I’ve got this new thing of only fucking girls who are HIV positive cuz I’m doing my own scientific research to see just how hard it is to contract the shit. I’ve been told by a few people that AIDS doesn’t even exist anymore and I figure the only way to be too sure about that is to hit the fucking streets and since I’ve never used condoms, they get in the way of feeling good, I’m pretty much ready.

See Africa is all about the AIDS, just ask U2 but I hope that doesn’t mean burning Candice Swanpoel’s bathing suit bottomes instead of selling them on ebay…cuz there is no AIDS strong enough to keep me from sniffing that shit til I get a nose bleed….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Candice Swanpoel|Photoshoot|swimsuit

2009

07

Dec

Lindsay Lohan Cry for Attention of the Day

Lohan is really trying to stay relevant in the art and fashion scene since the mainstream celebrity scene turned its back on her when she went dyke, which the art and fashion scene gets boners for faggots, but I think it’s safe to say that if a magazine, like Muse for example, says that they are THE “Fashionart Magazine, they are obviously pretty full of shit, like Lady Gaga calling herself an artistic performer and the followers believing her bullshit, but at least they managed to trick Lohan into getting naked and sexual in this photoshoot, despite how lame of a magazine they obviously are….Lohan just doesn’t know any better…so to her this keeps her credibility and makes sense, to everyone else it’s a few years too late…

Posted in:Desperate|Lindsay Lohan|Photoshoot