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Archive for the Pregnant Category

2010

27

May

Pregnant Paulina Rubio in Her Bikini of the Day

Paulina Rubio is old. I always forget that bitch is pushing 45 or some shit….mainly because most Mexican women I know are 200 pounds, mothers of 5 and busy cleaning houses living the American dream, but cleaning up after people who are actually living the American dream…but she’s finally settling down and having a baby….and like any good pregnant chick, she’s gone to role around in the sand in bikini in what may be one of her last chances to be the Mexican popstar people wanted to fuck, as Mexicans go all down hill after making babies…and because she’s not too pregnant yet to make jerking off to her awkward…unless of couse you like pregnant chicks, which some of you do, maybe because it is nature’s most beautiful gift, maybe because if she’s already knocked up you can’t knock her up, maybe because you like knowing a bitch doesn’t use condoms, maybe you like the idea of fucking something a growing fetus lives in, cuz fucking a home is rarely possible….I just know I pretty much hate the shit and I just see swollen ankles, fat gut and pretty much career and body suicide where watching a pregnant bitch walk the street is like watching a bitch self destruct….but maybe you dig it so here she is pregnant in a bikini….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Bikini|Paulina Rubio|Pregnant

2010

15

Mar

Dannii Minogue is a Furry Pregnant Slut of the Day

I’m not sure if Dannii Minogue is famous for anything more than being Kylie Minogue’s sister, but figure she must have done something in her life for people to bother with her, at least something more substantial than getting knocked up and wearing little tight furry outfits that make her look like some kind of muppet I want to fuck that’s already been fucked because it means I can’t get her knocked up and usually that she doesn’t have AIDS because I hear most doctors encourage abortions when you’ve got AIDS, so condoms become a thing of the past, which based on everyone I know, they pretty much already are….seriously, I don’t think I’ve met a girl who uses condoms in the last 5 years….dirty….but I guess not as dirty as the things I would do to this bitch dressed like a monster with a monster polluting her womb….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Dannii Minogue|Pregnant|Slut

2010

28

Jan

Rebecca Gayheart’s Baby Hasn’t Been Run Over By A Bitch on a Cellphone Yet of the Day

I don’t think I am allowed to called Rebecca Gayheart a muderer because she got off from running over the kid who wouldn’t have died if she hadn’t run him over, becuase being from Hollywood means good lawyers, and good lawyers make shit the kids fault for jaywalking, when every other car didn’t run the kid over because the drivers weren’t in a rush to their bullshit appointments that clearly never helped her career because she’s all self righteous, self absorbed, life she things is so important…..

So I like to check in with her pregnancy every once in a while to see if Karma’s got his revenge yet, or if he’s going to wait until the kid is older and she’s more attached to it….I guess we’ll wait and see….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Baby|Murderer|Pregnant|Rebecca Gayheart

2010

28

Jan

Pregnant Gold Digger See Thru Dress of the Day

Flavio Briatore is some billionaire and Elisabetta Gregoraci is his trophy wife who he’s kncoked up which I assume was her idea because old rich dudes dating hot young pussy always ends in pregnancy, that’s all part of the gold digger strategy, it gives them security while giving them the baby their uterus is telling them to have….making his grown up kids jealous and angry because they see their inheritance disappearing day closer they get to the delivery date, because they’ve been anxiously awaiting his death with every pound he’s gained, every shade of grey his skin has turned the last decade, before this cunt and her loose hips ruined their plans….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Elisabetta Gregoraci|Flavio Briatore|Gold Digger|Pregnant

2009

17

Dec

Rebecca Gayheart The Baby Killer Makin’ Babies of the Day

I am sure I am not legally allowed to call Rebecca Gayheart a baby killer because she got off for running over that kid, but she still ran over a fucking kid. I am sure she’s also had numerous abortions over the last decade after having random sex with people in hopes of advancing her career, but I don’t have proof of it and can probably get sued for saying tha and I don’t hold Abortions against girls, if anything I celebrate the shit, cuz there’s nothing worse than unwanted pregnancy, especially when I being called the dad, but more often than not, even if I do knock up whores, they go to the richer, more accomplished dudes they are fucking and claim shit is his, which is one of the benefits of being a total hurtbag.

I love abortions so much that I have caught myself dreaming of being an abortion doctors mainly because seeing used teen pussy is amazing, but you have to go through years of medical school, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am just too drunk and too stupid for that, so instead I have to back alley that shit for real desperate girls

I’m doing this Rebecca Gayheart baby watch because I assume Karma will get back at her for being involved in running over a kid, even if it was the kid’s fault, so to date the pregnancy seems normal but I’ll keep you posted if a crazed mother of the kid she ran over pushes her down the stairs out of spite, or if God makes the shit come out retarded….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Baby Killer|Pregnant|Rebecca Gayheart

2009

09

Nov

Kourtney Kardashian is a Pregnant Whore of the Day

I always see slutty pregnant chicks and I don’t mean that they are sluts because they are pregnant, since we all know it takes not only condomless sex but internal cumshots when not on her rag to slip up on that level of seriousness, because I’ve been fucking for decades and condoms aren’t really my thing, sure fucking a plastic bag could be exciting if that plastic bag belongs to a hot woman, or will belong to a hot woman since you work as a grocery store bagger and dictate who gets which bag, like some kind of modern day god that no one cares about because plastic bag distribution is pretty fucking useless, but no one else will give you a job, and on your lunchbreak you need something to do, and getting off is your favorite thing to do, but fucking the roasted chicken or other food products isn’t quite getting you off anymore, mainly because even at your discounted price, it’s becoming unaffordable at your meager wages, and not to mention you feel sharing your seed with the unsuspecting public will by surprising them by tainting all their produce is heaven, and I’ve never got a bitch pregnant. I think the withdrawal method works, or maybe it’s got something to do with hard living and infertility.

That said, pregnancy may imply a bitch is possibly a dirty little whore, but I think the hormones being out of wack, the fact that guys don’t really look at them the way they once did, the anticipation of their vagina lacking it’s youthfulness, and the fact that they are sprawled out naked and spread for doctors throughout the 9 months are all key factors to why pregnant bitches I see all dress in tight clothes, short skirts like a bunch of common fucking whores, that and the fact that I live in a poor neighborhood, because poor chicks are a bunch of common fucking whores.

Either way, here’s the pregnant Kardashian sister and she’s ready to drop but not ready to give up being a useless tramp…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|Pregnant|Slut

2009

26

Oct

Alessandra Ambrosio Post-Pregnancy Body isn’t Bad of the Day

If the average woman bounced back into shape like Ambrosio did after her baby, we’d live in a pretty magical place where the pussy older than 30 would be pussy I’d be willing to fuck, when now shit just grosses me out, especailly when it is hiding in a damp corner of my wife’s really big underwear.

Pics via INFphoto

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Pregnant

2009

26

Oct

Gisele Pregnancy Hoax of the Day

I am confused. If Gisele is really a man, like her Brazilian “known for trannies” roots, her hard face, the fact Leonardo DiCaprio dated her, would imply, then why is she walking around with a pregnancy belly and outty belly button like she’s ready to fuckin’ pop. Is this some movie-magic prop she stuffs in her shirt every morning, because she has settled down and wants to raise a family, but knows she needs to pretend the baby is hers for perpetuate the lie that she actually has lady parts to avoid persecution by the public who frown on tranny parents, or maybe she is actually a woman and all those people who called her a dude were just lying and jealous of her success or wishful thinking because jerking off to actual women in lingerie wasn’t as exciting to them, and I’m no gyno so I can’t tell you what’s going on here, but I will say nothing in the entertainment world is what it seems…..

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Gisele|Pregnant

2009

01

Oct

Christina Milian Pregnancy Tits of the Day

I am calling a Christina Milian pregnancy because no one else in the world really gives a fuck about her anymore. I think the reality is that everyone’s pretty much forgot about her. That’s why her marriage to The Dream pretty much went unnoticed, as did the fact that she was dropped by her label and signed to Myspace records, but I know that I will never forget the music video of her rolling around in mud all sexy and dirty like, but that’s because I have trouble letting go.

The reason I think she’s pregnant is because it would explain why she’s wearing a fat chick dress, it would also explain why she got married in the first place, because no one likes illegitimate babies, especially my mom, and here are her tits….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Christina Milian|Pregnant

2009

29

Sep

Jennifer Ellison Pregnant Tits in a Bikini Pics of the Day

I have a thing for pregnant chicks, even though I don’t have a thing for chicks I’ve got pregnant, and I actually have more of a thing for abortions or miscarriages, but when I know a girl has given up on the condition of her vagina and her body, and I know she really had taken the plunge, I realize that I need to celebrate that vagina in its final moments, so here’s some bitch named Jennifer Ellison I don’t really know or give a fuck about in some bikini pics from a tabloid, because it’s safe to say we’re nearing the end of her career so think of this as the tribute her you’d see next to her urn at her funeral, because let’s face it, the end is pretty much here and although she’s not dead, her sex appeal pretty much is. So look at her tits in all their glory as one last tribute even though it won’t be the last time you see them, but it is all downhill from here, not that it matters since I have no idea who she is, I just used my generic pregnant chick post for this.

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Ellison|Pregnant|Tits

2009

25

Sep

Very Pregnant Heidi Klum Nipple of the Day

Heidi Klum and Seal are serious fucking breeders. I’ve heard about couples wanting to have a kid or two, but she seems to be constantly pregnant and lookin at the size of her now really scares me, not only because I can’t stand the idea of a baby growing inside another person like some kind of virus or STD, like the girl who makes me sandwiches who told me she had to take the day off to get pre-cancerous cells burned off her cervix because she had sex with dirty people in her youth and had HPV making me want to fuck my sandwich instead of eating it cuz it was just that fucking hot, only in Heidi Klum’s case shit does a lot more damage to her pussy…not that Seal hasn’t already done an amazing job massacring that thing, I mean she’s definitely not married to him because of his boyish good looks, since he looks like something out of a horror movie, which may be something German’s like since they are a sick breed of jew killing monsters, she’s married to him because of his massive dick.

Here are pics of her hard nipples and her massive belly that I am pretty sure she will bounce back from….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Pregnant

2009

25

Sep

Gisele is Pregnant of the Day

I guess these pictures prove that all those theories of this hard faced supermodel actually being a dude wrong. I would like to defend my stance for a minute, because I am one of the many who said that shit on the regular, because I was trying to fit in. The truth is that she was from Brazil and I know people who have gone down to Brazil and who claim the trannies are substantially better lookin’ than the regular women, leaving a whole lot of mystery and a whole lot of posibility, but logically, I knew that if she was actually born a dude, Victoria’s Secret would have dealt with that after kidnapping her and bringing her to America, you know with some bootleg surgery, but logically, why would they bother when they could just kidnap an actual girl from the third world who they don’t have to waste all that time, energy, money and recovery time on just to give her ladyparts.

All this to say, that I obviously knew Gisele wasn’t a dude, I actually found her hot at least once 10 years ago, but the dude angle made for easy jokes, but now I’m left with nothing but the hope that this is just some movie-magic like Lohan’s Labor Pains, or Schwartzneger’s Junior. You know fake pregnancy prosthtic to keep the lie alive, cuz until I see the birthing video, she’s got Balls to me…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen|Pregnant

2009

18

Sep

Kourtney Kardashian and Her Pregnant Tits of the Day

Here’s more proof that the Kardashian’s are breeding like the rodents they fuckin’ are, as a pregnant Kourtney Kardashian walks around showing off her fatty pregnant tits.

I can’t even imagine what kind of cunt this family is going to produce. From Auntie Kim showing the fuckin’ thing how to make a quick buck sucking dick on camera, to Auntie Khloe and Mommy Kourtney showering the fucking thing in all the baby Ed Hardy the little fucker could ever dream of, because you know, kids this cheesy are born crying for over priced, loud, obnoxious t-shirts that will help them fit in with the Vegas crowd by the pool, it’s part of their cheesy genetic code.

Someone should put an end to this before the devil unleashes another one of its monsters into the world…and by her fat uterus, it looks like it’s coming soon…

Pics via INFpoto

Posted in:Kourtney Kardashian|Pregnant|Tits

2009

17

Sep

Halle Berry and Her Pregnancy Tits of the Day

Halle Berry is pregnant. I don’t know who really cares about that kind of news considering she was already pregnant, is already a mom and the damage is already done, meaning her birth canal has been ravaged, her sex appeal has been retired and her career has slowed the fuck down because of it, not that I still wouldn’t do all the things I’ve been planning to do to her the last decade, I’m just saying that these pictures of her are boring, her pregnancy is boring and this post is boring. I’m just keeping shit consistent.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Halle Berry|Pregnant|Tits

2009

10

Sep

Pregnant Penelope Cruz Pictures of the Day

Another one bites the dust….RIP Penelope Cruz’s sex appeal cuz bitch is reportedly knocked the fuck up. It happens to the best of them, I mean she’s just being a woman. We can’t really hate her, especailly when her nose was so fucking big, it was almost hard to love her, so if anything it all makes sense.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Penelope Cruz|Pregnant