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Archive for the Salma Hayek Category

2024

15

Mar

Salma Hayek Silver Tits in her Silver Years of the Day

Salma Hayek is in a silver dress, because she’s old as shit, in her silver years, but she’s married to a rich fuck, so I guess it’s probably a platinum dress, it’s more expensive. Not to mention, her rich husband owns all the designer brands, so she gets the special treatment.

She is laying in what looks like packing peanuts.

We can either assume that she’s paying tribute to her being human trafficked to her billionaire husband after being human trafficked to the Hollywood industry via Mexico…BORDER patrol…

Or she’s a robot that the husband had built in her image that he sends around to events, while the real Hayek is dead in the basement after one of their fights. It’s self preservation, they need to keep up appearances and pretend that the original Hayek is alive, because otherwise they’ll know he did it. It’s always the husband.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2024

13

Feb

Billionaire Celebrity Salma Hayek Being Treated like the Hired Help of the Day

This is Salma Hayek pretending to be the trad wife, making pancakes in the kitchen of what probably isn’t even her house, because she’s an actor and actors fucking lie.

I’ll post the old lady because I’m into the trad wife movement, exhausted from all the whores out there either scamming or getting rich off the backs of losers like us, or even whores out there getting rich of brand deals, or whores out there living that rich instagram lifestyle like every other robot plugged into the matrix by fucking the right dude strategically….

But I am sure at Salma’s hardly the Mexican most Californians have working their kitchens, she’s probably more of the Mexican who hires the Mexicans through some house manager that handles her billionaire life….but I’ll buy into the lie…

It’s just unfortunate that the actress billionaire playing the trad pancake making wife doesn’t do it with more tit out, since she’s got the tits, it’d make the trad life hotter than some ill-fitting pyjamas…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2024

18

Jan

Salma Hayek’s Throwback Thursday of the Day

Billionaire wife Salma Hayek posted a throwback Thursday of a nude shoot….

The Lebanese Mexican set of tits that changed the fucking Entertainment industry in part because her husband bought CAA the power agents who ran Hollywood, because that’s what you want out of your sugar daddy…you know, to have them own the industry you work in…but also because of her big tits and over the top Mexican accent that inspired the likes of Sofia Vergara to play up because clearly there is a fetish for it….titties and accents….

I don’t know what this shoot is from, but since I’m a fucking Dinosaur, it’s probably been posted here when it came out, but let’s upcycle or recycle content, that’s fucking trendy in this climate change economy….trendy like BIRIA….

I don’t know if this is before or after she fucked Robert Rodriguez for her breakout role, I don’t even know if she fucked Robert Rodriguez for that movie and my only real comment about this shoot, besides the feet for the feet fucks is that she’s all DULCE LECHE…and NO CHURRO…

So it’s hardly the kind of gaping nude I need…but it’s still an old bitch relieving her youth, recycling old pics like a fatty on a dating app and there’s something nice about that because it means they thought they were hotter then, no matter how hard they play empowered hot old lady….no one wants to be old…even if they are hotter than the other olds, cuz they still old.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2023

02

Sep

Mexico’s Pride and Joy Salma Hayek Brings the Old Tits Out to Get Jerked Off To of the Day

Salma Hayek, the Lebanese Mexican tits that were rich before they were sent to Hollywood to take on the “Hot Mexican” accent roles, before being married off to one of the richest families in the world, because the son was caught jerking off to old Hayek movies and the dad felt “I’ll buy her for you”, you know like rich people do.

She’s 57 years old, her birthday is today, and clearly she wants you perverts jerking off to her old used up tits that are rich and well rested so they don’t look as bad as the other 57 year old tits out there, however, I have been noticing a lot of older women when I do my downtown creeping, who have full round tits despite being old as shit, so maybe it’s all that birth control pill in the tap water keeping them more feminine…

Either way, Hayek, like all whores likes showing off the body and being jerked off to, so get to it…she posted these 30 mins ago, I am SO fucking fast at this blogging thing, no wonder I’ve revolutionized the format back in 2004 and have managed to stay in the shadows while others excelled at it….

Her caption to her bikini big titty old lady smut is:

I’m so happy to be alive and so profoundly grateful for all the blessings!!!! ?My beloved family, my precious friends, my health, my work that keeps me going, my empowering team, my relationship with animals & nature, and the love of all my loyal fans. Happy 57th birthday to me!!!

Happy Birthday to tits that just won’t die…in pictures that are probably photoshopped, but these people are liars, so we’ll take it.

Posted in:Salma Hayek|Salma Hayek

2023

15

Jun

Salma Hayek is Not Giving Up of the Day

Here’s a 3 or 4 day old picture of Salma Hayek that I think I original saw on People Magazine’s feed because People Magazine is coming to terms with people not giving a shit about celebrity gossip, and the only people still around for anything celebrity are the 40+ crowd looking to jerk off to their old classic celeb favorite’s tits…

Works out nicely for Hayek, who has made a career with the tits, one that got her bought by a billionaire, allowing her to continue using her tits as if it is all she knows, because it is probably all she knows, since she still can hardly speak english despite making a career as an english speaking actress, because why bother learning complex languages when you can put on the thick accent to just let everyone know you’re only here cuz the tits….all this to say the old timer’s STILL got the tits and they are in a bikini.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2023

26

May

Salma Hayek’s Face of the Day

HER EYES ARE UP HERE!

I just saw these pictures of Salma Hayek, the old as shit billionaire wife who was built up in Hollywood before being forced into marrying the billionaire she married, but who is still an iconic celebrity, which doesn’t say much in this world of no one being a celebrity, and she still has those tits that made her famous in the first place, CANCER HASN’T GOT THEM YET, despite her old age and statistics saying it probably will…

So yeah, if you look up from her designer billionaire fetish outfit pushing up her old tits, you’ll see a face that looks like it’s been pasted on, stapled on, maybe like a FACE filter or AI since nothing is real, or maybe just wonky photoshop and filters and it freaks me the fuck out….

This reminds me of when I used to crop people’s FB profile pics onto porn pics, which is now illegal and can get you arrested but hat the time a great gag…and I have NO photoshop skills…level up rich bitch…hire someone better…

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2023

23

May

Salma Hayek’s Luxury Hotel Bath Robe Porn of the Day

Salma Hayek’s in Cannes because she’s a French billionaire’s wife, no longer a Mexican border jumping Celebrity who stole jobs from the stateside Mexican Americans because of her monster sized tits and the fact that she was already a bratty rich kid in Mexico. She started out winning.

She’s old as shit, but not too old to understand how face filters or photoshop works, ERASE THAT FACE GRANNY or more importantly, how the whole internet social media content works, all you need to do is show a little skin and tease the phone camera, far easier than having to go on set somewhere, you bring the set with you.

Old as shit, weathered old ladies holding onto a dream are better when their tits are out….unfortunately for us, this fetish is bath robe oriented, not tit oriented and that seems like a fucking waste, like not collecting tampon applicators you see in the recycling bins on recycling day to taste test knowing they’ve been in a cunt!

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2023

26

Apr

Salma Hayek’s Face Pasted on of the Day

Salma Hayek posted a picture of her going dick to dick with Channing Tatum because I guess they are in the same movie about male strippers, you know millionaires or in her case billionaires mocking the people have to be gay for pay to afford their rent and their cocaine…not that people don’t want to be gay for pay in this era of everyone being gay, but it’s sill mocking sex workers….and making money off their backs and that’s just mean.

Anyway, Hayek, the billionaire’s wife and Mexican tits we’ve grown to love posted a series of pics recently and it looks like she either found facetune, other AI filters, or even a paper mask, because she looks fucking mental in her pics….is that even her or is this a boardwalk caricature or bad photoshop of her face cropped on, I just don’t know…but I’ll still look at the old lady tit.

Posted in:Salma Hayek

2023

02

Feb

Salma Hayek Tits of the Day

Salma Hayek may be an old as shit Mexicana rich fuck who got famous in America to become even richer before using that celebrity and them tits to lure in rich European men who own luxury brands including but not limited to the scandalous and perverted Balenciaga scam for the normie fools of Instagram to be trolled by Lardashians and Ye into buying literal trash for thousands of dollars cuz they are told to….but those thousands of dollars add up and allow a fool to buy a Hollywood actor from Mexico’s tits!

But yeah, her tits are still holding up, are they deserving of billions of dollars, who is to say, but clearly she knows how to suck the souls of people as most of these psychopath actors do.

Posted in:Salma Hayek|Salma Hayek

2022

11

Feb

Salma Hayek Ass of the Day

At a certain age, even with billionaire narcissistic celebrity trophy wives need to get their picture taken from half a mile away.

Living that GOOD FROM FAR but FAR FROM GOOD life that I am sure has had you check out at least one long hair biker on a road trip’s ass, thinking “oh yeah, look at that biker chick’s ass”…only to catch up and realize girl’s got a beard because she’s nto a girl at all….but rather a biker…

But yeah, even kind of girl who gets everything she wants, who has access to all the top fitness programs, the top fitness trainers, the top dieticians, the top chefs, the top plastic surgeons, the top face injections, the top baby blood transfusions, the top MEXICAN stem cell treatments that are illegal here, but that are not illegal to rich Mexicans….to make people as hot as they can to defy the aging process…even though their pussies are still 100 and rotting from the inside out…..

Then there’s the whole photoshop, digital retouching, post production, augmented reality filters for the he internet feeds, where life REALLY happens….now that we are all transhumanist drones dialled into the HIVE…or grid…thanks INTERNET for sucking…..and for LYING to us about how hot a bitch actually is…

But from that 1/2 mile away, I’m into the big Salma ass, it’d just be better if it was her big tits….since big tits at all ages can be fun…I know because I am a daytime stripclub patron where the old strippers go to die…and where I go to grab titty….you see, tits outlast ass when it comes to their expiration date….you can find a granny with a hot tit, but you’ll never find a granny with a hot ass….not even a famous one like SALMA…who I thin we should call SALAMI…because it sounds more delicious.

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Posted in:Salma Hayek|Salma Hayek