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Archive for the SFW Category

2016

29

Jul

Dance Like Leonardo Dicaprio Dances for Whores of the Day

Hrere is Leonardo DiCaprio being a cheesy fuck, dancing like a homosexual on a gay cruise he’s been saving up for his hwole life, only with a ton of dudes because he loves to pay for and finance his entourage to be around him and make him feel secure, he likes when they are topless or jerking off while he fucks models or some shit…

He’s in Mykonos dancing around out of control like the old guy at the party because he is the old guy at the party – who has too much money, and gets too much attention from thirsty low level instagram models like Nina Agdal, who not only looks like she has Downs Syndrome, but makes less than 100k a year modeling, and is just trying to not fuck this up so that she can get pregnant and be like her sister model Irina Shayk, who is much hotter than her, much more successful and internationally celebrated than her, but she’s with Brad Cooper who isn’t Leonardo DiCaprio – the man all the model hookers want because he gives them a taste of the dream, he is the target and why they do this model struggle, I mean that and not wanting to ever fucking work…

Models are so transparent, I guess that’s why someone like Leo just bangs them out….they are interchangeable, fun because they know they need to be, agreeable because they know they need to be, and once they’re not – get the fuck out…

I’ve seen Nina Agdal at least once, she walked around like a drunken monster, she’s really fucking big, and had a shitty attitude, acting like she was fucking Beyonce….or someone actually famous…which was hilarious to me…I was like “she does catalog pics for ecommerce sites for 100k a year, that’s not a skill”….

I don’t know if that’s Nina Agdal on her best behavior, being fun and wild and Danish, but it looks enough like her for me..I mean if you can see past this terrible fucking dancing….

Posted in:Leonardo DiCaprio|SFW

2016

29

Jul

Kendall Jenner Top Hat Titties in Sheer Shirt for Love Magazine of the Day

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Earlier in the week I had to question society – or maybe my search habbits that are being tracked by facebook – because with everything going on in the world – the top story on FB trending stories for me was that Kendall Jenner accepts her breasts for what they are and doesn’t want to or need to wear a bra…because she’s a feminist or some shit….because anyone who leaves their house will know that no girls under 25 wear bras – which is exactly why it shouldn’t have been a trending story people actually spoke about – but it was because they Kardashians need to be a tool by the illuminati to distract and dumb down America. It’s the only thing that makes sense. Their power, the interest people have in them, despite everyone hating them – makes zero sense to me…are we that bored as a people, are our lives that unfulfilled, I mean I know mine is – as I sit here writing about Kendall in a top hat like a magician in a Diaper at a kids party or bachelor party before sucking off the guests – which would a more accurate depiction of her skillset…but instead…fashion magazines are publishing this shit…because it’s high concept “art” or low concept softcore titty fetish porn….

She is the hottest of the Kardashians….and I will look at any tits…which would make me part of the problem if people actually still came to this amazingly insightful and well written sites…

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2016

29

Jul

Ireland Baldwin Erotica of the Day

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Ireland Baldwin is the fucking worst…unless she’s in overproduced, underdressed, over edited photoshoots of her not even looking like the big girl Ireland Baldwin, while busting out her tits because they are the best thing she has going for her, you know the benefit of being 175 pounds…and broken enough to think that being a model, or something people jerk off to, like a sex symbol or instagram model like her shorter, less interesting, but strategically placed cousin….thanks the kardashian / jenner / hadid connection that Ireland was too fucking weird, clunky and her dad called her a pig as a kid which she carries around with her in everything she does – from dating dark molested black lesbians – to going to rehab all while trying so hard to be a leader of the social media kid of famous people….and it’d be a sad story if anyone, including her family, actually cared about her…

Here are more of her tits…

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin|SFW

2016

29

Jul

Christina Milian’s Weird Topless Pic of the Day

Christina Milian posted this desperate video basically begging people to go to her show in Zurich because she’s tricked international promoters to book her – probably for free – so that she can bring out her new material that no one cares about – but don’t worry there will also be her classics that no one knows or remember or cares about – because no one gives a fuck about Christina Milian…except maybe Christina Milian who keeps on milking herself, which makes sense because she doesn’t milk her child as she travels the world trying to be an instagram whore Kardashian in the most bootleg of ways…

The funny thing in all of this is that she’s really fucking rich from writing Beiber songs and doesn’t need to do any of this – but she does – getting naked on social media like a local stripper trying to get followers to escape the hell life she lives…but the total fucking opposite…because when you crave male attention and being seen as sexy….it’s not about the money bro…

Posted in:Christina Milian|SFW

2016

28

Jul

Gigi Hadid Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

Gigi Hadid gets it…she knows that if you want to be a model – you can’t be fat –

When you come from a vapid, rich, superficial, pretentious family that encourages you to be a model because it’s a good life where you can secure some male attention your dad never gave you – while allowing you to travel and see the world instead of going to college and actually working a real jobs – because why work when you don’t have to….and get paid more standing around half naked for brands..

She knows what’s important…being skinny…

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2016

28

Jul

Snooki Terrible Music Video of the Day

Snooki is someone no one remembers…at least I hope no one remembers her – but I just saw that she’s got youtube channel…and I refuse to watch anything else she’s done…

I like Disgusting and whorish…but not famous for being disgusting and whorish and I like shameless and disgusting and whorish to get money…but not when it works out like this…I like the whores trying to get there not having been there and trying to retain it…even though this is the American Dream of being a haggard duck faced stripper with some level of celebrity…

I can’t believe these people exist, but they do and they are everywhere…

Here’s her behind the scenes video….I can’t believe this happened or people like B_Capp are using her to market their sad pathetic selves..

You’d think this would be more of a “kill yourself” situation, not keep on going…you talentless hack who has an ego and no class that won’t allow her to shut the fuck up and not be trash..

Posted in:SFW|Snooki

2016

28

Jul

Kelly Rohrbach Ass Flash of the Day

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Kelly Rohrbach, the new Baywatch girl of the future, who I don’t find all that hot…is flashing the Valet at some hotel a full ass shot..and I have no idea what this is about, but for some reason it’s a great concept, even good execution, there’s funny, there’s sexy, there’s paparazzi – masterfully orchestrated…but I just don’t find it hot…

Maybe I don’t find Kelly Rohrbach, who was some low level bikini model from Sports Illustrated swim, which I guess makes her not that low level, because SI Swim is the top of the bikini model charts, but is still low hanging fruit and most of their girls don’t make money – but they have that stamp of approval that makes all the instagram whoring worth your time and effort…it makes you way more special than other whores in bikinis…

In her case or storyline, she has already been one of the models Leonardo DiCaprio co-signed with his penis or at least by promoting to the world as his girlfriend, because he may be gay…and has a percentage of her earnings so he turned her over to his film producer friends, who cast her as Pam Anderson in the Baywatch remake no one needs to see because it’s going to suck and you can see all these bitches in bikinis without the storyline on the internet. It’s kinda what they do…

And now she’s onto other rich dudes, and I guess casual boring but should be exciting ass flashes, is part of her marketing program.

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TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kelly Rohrbach|SFW

2016

28

Jul

Mariah Carey for Complex of the Day

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Complex Magazine paid me every month for 8 years to link them – before they sold to Hearst Media….

They basically paid for the server of this site by paying me every month for 8 years to link them….

So in ways, it’s all COMPLEX’s fault that this site exists, so if you feel the need to sue me for calling you fat or making fun of your movie or ego – please direct all lawsuits their way – because since Complex Magazine stopped paying me – I’ve been forced to a life of drinking rubbing alcohol and eating discount potato chips from the dollar store…since no one else wants to support this mess I call home…bastards…

I guess they’d rather spend their money on really theatrical and weird masquerade photoshoots with Mariah Carey photoshopped into some kind of clown, or some kind of cartoon, but she’s always had a bit if a cartoon vibe to her…with that weird face…and big tits and craziness that only a billionaire could love and try to marry because it looks good on the portfolio of things they’ve stuck their dick in….you know on some Richie Richie – they have everything and always have because that’s how they were raised….unable to relate to other people – might as well lock in a super celebrity – it seems to make sense, especially after having dated that nobody sugarbaby Miranda Kerr…

I guess what I’m saying is that shoot’s not hot to me, but may be hot to you if you’re into 45 year old superstar “divas” from the 90s…when life was simpler for you….

TO SEE THE VIDEO AND STORY CLICK HERE

Posted in:Mariah Carey|SFW

2016

28

Jul

Ashley Benson Sweaty Back of the Day

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I know what you’re thinking – Ashley Benson doesn’t have a thigh gap – despite being a celebrity who gets cast for very popular TV shows – and who has millions of followers…..what an absurd concept to an old timer like me – who depends on girls on TV, unless they play the average at best fat chick, who isn’t even FAT but is Hollywood fat, like Ashley Benson…but long gone are the days of that…

But at least she wears fitness gear like all kind of fat girls I see in public and question why they are in fitness gear because clearly they don’t workout but realize that it is because it’s the comfortable elasticity that allows movement and stretch….

You can tell that Benson is a Hollywood girl, all theatrical because she’s even gone so far as to add sweat stains that look like some kind of scream mask – because she’s terrifying…

At least she’s trying, in this era, trying half assed is more than most lazy people and gets a lot of praise….

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TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ashley Benson|SFW

2016

28

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s Pregnant Bikini Pics of the Day

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Lindsay Lohan is pregnant in a bikini, which is probably why she had her public outrage on the internet. She’s an abused girl from a broken home – who despite being rich and famous was broken as fuck – so even when she’s not hormonal she’s a crazy person – so when she is hormonal and probably not allowed to drink – she’s a super fucking crazy person – and what better way to announce your pregnancy to the world like having a public freak out, only to decompress in a bikini with your gunt hanging out as the fetus grows outwards….and the only concern for me isn’t how shitty this kid’s life will be with its terrible mother and rich as fuck father…I don’t care about that…plus it will probably die before it turns 5…that or shipped to Disney who have first right of refusal on her kid…

I am just concerned because it looks like her fiance beat her ass of of her…but I guess her milk filled tits will be fun though…

So here’s some Lohan in a bikini with her parasite / STD reveal far more fun then her Herpes reveal..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|SFW

2016

28

Jul

Selena Gomez in on Stage of the Day

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Selena Gomez trying to be some dramatic, theatrical, stage performing popstar….who is actually a real fucking artist…with something to say or a message to convey – is a fucking joke to me.

She’s a poptart Disney trained earner, and everything she does – from her relationships, to her friendships, to her acting career, to any of the campaign she promotes and gets paid heavy to promote to her groupie-ing hard on that cunt Taylor Swift, when they are supposed to be in competition with each other, not holding hands collectively fucking over the youth by brainwashing them with their lies.

I don’t find her hot, exciting, interesting, and I don’t even know why I am posting this, maybe it’s to see how a person who pretended to have Chemo therapy for the sympathy vote when releasing the shitty album she’s touring – or what I call proving you don’t need musical talent to be an over produced popstar…manipulating all you idiots to line her pockets.

Devil woman…maybe because she’s a mexican and thus a rapist that you probably wish raped you with a strap on instead of with shitty music that we’re forced to listen to thanks to radio play….garbage…

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If you’re more into her handler, these girls who were raised by Disney need handlers, here’s Taylor Swift the Manipulator’s Shitty Ass of the Day, probably at the gym where she’s trying to make it a less shitty ass – as she envy’s Victoria’s Secret models and wants to be hot like models, yet is Taylor Swift, quirky and annoying, manipulative and full of shit, and more importantly awkward as fuck but at least she can get as many men as humanly possible to fuck her -it’s good for her ego or feeling like she’s got it going on….while it gives guys who fuck her hope she’ll write songs about them to make them famous…

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TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2016

28

Jul

Kristen Stewart Happy Lesbian For Elle of the Day

Kristen Stewart has never been hot to me, I’ve always just assumed she was a boring, depressing, barely dark but possibly white trash and inbred, who was part of a huge masturbatory movie series that was massive for people with high estrogen who buy into that kind of bullshit…so the press was less about people wanting to fuck her, and more about people thinking they wanted to fuck her because she’s in movies and paparazzi take pics of her while she’s faking relationships with her homosexual co-star….before herself being homosexual…you know since estrogen has always been drawn to her – and what it eats your pussy – it just feels nicer…because there is no erection in their pants cutting it short for some penetration…you know how guys are….

That said, she’s in ELLE magazine, looking so dark and mysterious, edgy and controversial, rich and famous…and if you look closely, you can see her girlfriend’s period on her noise..

No wait, that’s just some strawberry jam on my screen…that just ruined my scissor fetish, sure anticlimatic – but so beautiful like a gymnastics performance….

Posted in:Kristen Stewart|SFW

2016

28

Jul

Victoria’s Secret Shitty New “easy collection” of the Day

Victoria’s Secret isn’t paying me to promote their bullshit new collection, but I am sure a lot of people are getting paid to help promote their bullshit new collection, that is actually their most appropriately named collection “EASY”…because all the girls who are employed by Victoria’s Secret are EASY…that’s how they got to this level of making a lot of fucking money per year being half naked – it’s subtle hooker behavior on the surface, but behind the scenes they are fully obvious, attention seeking, money grubbing, controversial if possible, in media and in bedrooms and yachts of rich people hookers…so EASY if you’re the right person who helps them hit targets…in the Easy collection…

Here are the boring catalog pics of Taylor Hill, Elsa Hosk, Stella Maxwell…catalog pics interchangeable with EVERY single VS shoot ever…that I like to post to remind me that very little changes – we are a lazy people and corporations like familiar things that work – because fighting to progress would require risk and work – but instead they can bank on making their billions…

Posted in:SFW|Victoria's Secret

2016

27

Jul

Sports Illustrated Releases Pics of their Whores of the Day

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I am onto you Sports Illustrated. I see your tactics and I know what you’re trying to do….

It’s July, internet traffic is down, especially when your bikini magazine came out in February, so take the opportunity to make some noise by releasing some of the unreleased bikini pictures – even semi see through and hard nippled – by the models that get the most searches on their site…all to get more buzz, traffic, etc..

So here’s Hannah Davis, Nina Agdal and Hannah Davis…did I meantion Hannah Davis

And here’s Leonardo DiCaprio in Mykonos creeping….scouting…looking for women to fuck…

Posted in:Hannah Davis|Irina Shayk|Nina Agdal|SFW

2016

27

Jul

Ariel Winter Dressed Like a Plump Juicy Strawberry of the Day

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I fight the good fight, what would be called the misogynistic fight, where I feel the importance that celebrated women who get paid a lot of money and who get marketed by their team as hot – when she is not hot – must be called out for being not hot….

I learned at a young age that this was my calling…All the guys in my sixth grade class freaked out over a chubby downs syndrome inbred girl who looked like a burn victim – because she had tits…they’d freak out and talk about how hot she was – they’d try to get her in 7 minutes of heaven – or 7 inches in the closet as my teacher used to call it – before threatening to kill me if I told anyone….but I digress…this girl was busted…but guys due to peer pressure, false marketing, maybe having been around her since the first grade so that they were used to her…felt she was the hottest shit…and when I would say “dude, you’re gross that bitch looks horror movie villain”…because I’ve always been amazing…they’d all turn on me and call me a faggot – and I’d say “is this because of that 7 inches in the closet Mr Mason made me play”…

WHat I am getting at is you can be a believer all you want, you can love her tits, or jerking off to her when she was 12 and going through puberty all you want, you can cry when she got her reduction and rejoice when she still has tits after her reduction…but nothing you can say or do can make me think this bitch is anything but fat, sloppy, gross and overrated….and she’s dressed like a strawberry and not in a good way…

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TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW