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Archive for the SFW Category

2016

12

Dec

Jodie Sweetin Ex Meth Addict in Maxim of the Day

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What the fuck is this all about Stephanie Tanner – the busty mom – and her big tits stripping down half naked like she’s got it going on in her 30s…because in her 20s, she was addicted to meth, spending all the full house money getting high, while the kids were at daycare or some shit, but more interestingly while DJ Tanner was out doing weirdo Christian missions, because all child stars are broken, addicts, who need saving…some just choose Jesus…while others have a little more fun with it…

She’s back, her tits still huge, and I guess this is better than her being found dead during a relapse, you know second wind, second life, living the dream that was taken away from her when the show went off the air – leaving her with nothing….

But it’s not better than her being a drug addicted hooker you can afford to bang….because paying Stephanie Tanner for sex so she can afford her next hit would be something I’d save 100 bucks to do…just for the story….we’ll have none of that though because she managed that drug addiction…and if she relapsed she’s almost too old for the kind of crackwhorin’ I’d be into..

That said, She did Maxim…

Posted in:Jodie Sweetin|SFW

2016

12

Dec

Liv Mathis From my Facebook Slutty of the Day

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Liv Mathis was a Facebook friend for awhile, she still is and she’s incredible….So I feel like I know all about her life because I saw her move from South Carolina to LA to be a model in the past couple years….

I feel like she was all wholesome while making her transition from South Carolina to LA…and has slowly morphed into this…half naked instagramming for an instagram photographer…nipples everywhere because that’s the only way you get noticed when you’re a hot chick trying to get noticed…it is the model life…a life that’s actually a struggle because the world is full of hot chicks…especially LA…and I think she’s fucking amazing….I am a fan…..looking good girl…stop ignoring my DMs…

Posted in:Liv Mathis|SFW

2016

12

Dec

The Critics Choice Awards Happened of the Day

I hate award shows. I find them all a fucking scam because they are a fucking scam. It’s celebrating nonsense that doesn’t matter. It’s giving people who have already scammed the world internal competitions amongst themselves to benchmark their success…because being overpaid isn’t enough for them…and normally the writing, the speeches, the product integration is all just too fucking low level bullshit for me to handle…

I was at my TV addict friend’s house, and he scrolled past it, so I said “what’s that, Critic’s Choice Awards, let’s see this bullshit”….we saw one camera pan of Emma Stone, and one joke from that tall stoner dude everyone loves…and changed the channel never to return again…

Well, it turns out the critics matter, even though the critics should stick to ripping apart these people and not praising them, it makes things more interesting…fucking rip these fragile egos apart and make them kill themselves like a real CRITIC is supposed to…instead…they fucking award them…and everyone goes out for the free champange and to dress up for taste of old hollywood, or 22 years of critic choice awards…like it matters…when it doesn’t…

I’m just doing this for the tits..

Jessica Biel Was There She’s a Famous Person’s wife…and she’s old…

TO SEE THE REST OF HER PICS CLICK HERE

Bella Thorne was There because you gotta go wherever you can as you attempt to be the next big thing in Hollywood, when you’re just a trashy instagram hooker…any opportunity you get to appear anywhere is some kind of status that trashy instagram hookers don’t experience….we know the CRITICS choice only allowed her there for the instagram plug…

TO SEE THE REST OF HER PICS CLICK HERE

Kaley Cuoco was there and she makes 100,000,000 dollars a year…which is insane..but I guess it will finance or continue to finance her over the top plastic surgery…by 60 this bitch will look like a clown, but until then…she’ll just be the accessible nerd hot chick on a nerd show people actually watch….

TO SEE THE REST OF HER PICS CLICK HERE

Emmy Rossum was THere and she is dog shit, even with cleavage, but we’ve seen her have sex on TV, the only thing that makes her relevant and I guess that makes her one step above porn chick, so here’s to porn taken out of the Valley…and dropped in hollyood….

Leave your house, this bitch is so basic, there are hotter girls at the grocery store, in the fucking hardware store, EVERYWHERE….don’t celebrate her.

TO SEE THE REST OF HER PICS CLICK HERE

Ariel Winter was There looking like a Korean prostitute – ready to give you a handjob just as soon as she finishes eating the all you can eat Korean BBQ….this could take a while….but while she does that – stare at that back….which could also take a while…because it’s so fucking big and to take it all in…takes work…porky fucking pig..what a fucking monster…

TO SEE THE REST OF HER PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Events|SFW

2016

12

Dec

MILLA JOVOVICH FOR ELLE RUSSIA OF THE DAY

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Since Russia Rigged Your Election – and everyone is crying about it – because your country is so weak that Russia has the ability to rig your election for you – something that should make you all very nervous if it is actually true – because that’s pretty fucking weak…

I guess if they can rig your election, and decide your president, they can probably do a lot more damage, especially since your country is so unstable and disliked….but I guess watching things self destruct is a better troll than just attacking a country….

I am not anti American, I just have a hard time believing that the country can allow Russia to decide who will win the election…if they did decide the election…maybe there should be a re-election…or maybe that’s what they are trying to get done…seems like fake news to me….blame Russia…

So to celebrate Russia and their rumored win, in a country that has been rigging elections in the middle east forever…the same country that created and trained Bin Landen and Sadam….only to create wars against those people…that you all paid for with your tax money…here’s some Russian actor, who rigged your American movies in the 90s….in Russian Elle…which is owned by an American country…GLOBALIZATION yo…

Posted in:Milla Jovovich|SFW

2016

12

Dec

Bella Thorne VS Ariel Winter for Christmas of the Day

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Ariel Winter and Bella Thorne are the 18 year old actors that are taking the instagram hooker lead – and posting as slutty as they can – because I guess that’s just the nature of their generation – that’s what people are watching, followers is what gets them job, they grew up on porn and they were sold off to the media at a young age by very eager parents that wanted nothing more than money and fame, so they’ve been raised to give people what they want – to get the pay day – and the fact it worked made for narcissists not scared to show some slutty that isn’t too slutty – because in this era the only thing too slutty would be GAPING asshole…

It’s interesting that both famewhores who are famous and trying to take instagram viewers back to TV….are doing the slutty santa the same weekend but not that interesting because they are on the same program, the same puppet, the same bullshit…and slutty santas are always great so keep up the same nonsense – just do it more on all fours.

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Posted in:Ariel Winter|Bella Thorne|SFW

2016

12

Dec

Kylie Jenner Dressed Like Christina Aguilera for her 35th Birthday of the Day

Kylie Jenner was invited to be some kind of puppet at Christina Aguilera’s 35th birthday, because Kylie and X-Tina are homies who probably do drugs in their Calabasas homes together, or maybe they just have casual movie night, maybe they are neighbors, and BFFs because all these people are vapid, too rich for their own good, garbage that I think should be the first to die in the nuclear holocaust….but I never get what I want…so they keep on fucking winning…while polluting the fucking world….

It is super weird when someone shows up to your birthday – dressed like you…but all these narcissists – self involved – they all love likes and following…relevance and are addicted to it…because that’s all they know..

Either way…weird…

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Posted in:Kylie Jenner|SFW

2016

12

Dec

Vanessa Hudgens for the Foot Fetishists of the Day

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Nothing says Monday – like jerking off to Vanessa Hudgens’ feet….especially if you’re a foot fetishist, the guy she took this pic for, because for some reason – every single girl, not just the whores, but regular girls, find foot fetishes creepy but hilarious, and every single girl, not just the whores, are willing to sell pictures of their feet to creepy dudes on the internet that they meet on instagram.

I know girls who have sold three pics of their feet for 100 dollar…regular girls, not just whores…fully knowing dude is going to jerk off to those pics in the weirdest fucking way…and that dudes paying for pics of feet are probably real fucking weird…and giving them the feet pics are probably not the best thing to give a foot fetishists…like giving an addict heroin….it will lead them to bad places…

These are the same girls who refuse to send pussy pics dudes who like pussy…the pussy fetishists…which is a normal fetish to have…it’s kind of what the human experience is based on…but feet….sure…here you go you fucking freak…it’s just my feet…crazy…

Terrible….and here are some High School Musical in her 30s feet..

Posted in:SFW|Vanessa Hudgens

2016

12

Dec

Love Calendar Keeps On Delivering the Dog Shit of the Day

Weak…I know Kim Kardashian is a fucking monster, but having her walk in slow motion in front of a green screen showing Northern Lights…is just weak. I could recreate this in my fucking basement apartment, I just don’t know any shit colored trannies with sloppy tits that I could use…but I should parody this, to remind you all that Kim Kardashian is fucking dog shit and so is LOVE Magazines’ advent calendar….just step it up you fashion cunts…

Doutzen Kroes cuz no one else wants her…shot by Hype Williams….a legendary hip hop music video director from the 90s…who even did Hollywood movies…and this is the uninspired shit he’s doing now…as much as I hate instagram content producers, at least they produce better shit than this…

Heidi Klum 300 Years Old….shot by Rankin – Naked in Tub….with star nipples, because I guess her actual nipples are starting to show their age and can’t be showcased…or maybe it’s just not YOUTUBE friendly…who knows…but I’d rather see the nips…

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2016

12

Dec

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I don’t have a dirty panty fetish….but that doesn’t stop me from asking single mom’s to give me their dirty panties….while at the Christmas tree farm…where they are buying the family tree…because I know they aren’t Jewish and won’t try to sell them to me, while also knowing that tis the season of giving….and I like to put their Christmas spirit to the test..

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Here are some stepLINKS….

The Golden GLobe Nominations
CLICK HERE

Barbara Walters things THE VIEW is ruined
CLICK HERE

Patti Smith Forgets Bob Dylan Lyrics
CLICK HERE

Hailey Clauson at the Beach
CLICK HERE

Ken Block Drifts in London and It is Crazy
CLICK HERE

Giant Star Wars At-At Build for the Garden
CLICK HERE

Phil Collins’ Daughter Got Recognition
CLICK HERE

Navy Officer Disses Colin Kaepernick….
CLICK HERE

How to Modify your Mac and cheese
CLICK HERE

Taylor Swift for 50 Shades Darker
CLICK HERE

100 Years of Christmas Desserts
CLICK HERE

The 1 Inch Revving Paper Engine – is a great name for my penis
CLICK HERE

Janice Dickinson Married Her Psychiatrist…
CLICK HERE

Proof that Dinosaurs Had Feathers
CLICK HERE

Real Housewifes of Dallas Sells Her Amazing Venice Beach House – Check it Out – No Tits
CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|stepLINKS

2016

09

Dec

Barbara Palvin Does Sharon Stone Because She’s a Monster of the Day

Here’s some bullshit neither of us care about…but big girl Barbara Palvin playing Sharon Stone in some Love Magazine – has no great original ideas…but people celebrate them – because they work with people who have mastered the scam, have a huge following, and that’s just what matters these days…if they are in Victoria’s Secret they exist and Love Magazine is there with their bullshit concepts like SHARON stone…something parodied so many times…only instead of it actually showing Palvin cunt…it shows us nothing, is empty, and isn’t even a parody of shit…yeah, Basic Instinct is more edgy than you basic fucks….garbage…but I’ll post it because I like garbage…low concept, fast food, clickbait, garbage…

Posted in:Barbara Palvin|SFW

2016

09

Dec

Kate Upton’s Fitness Ass That Isn’t Very Fit of the Day

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I am not buying into the heiress of WHIRLPOOL’s attempt to advertise that she’s being working out or going to the gym, because I remember a time when bitch defended being fat, plus sized, because she was getting work….all cocky, they are all cocky when they are a getting work..but when the work dries up, they start to realize “shit, maybe I should stop the emotional eating”…..not because she needs work, she’s got a huge trust fund..WHIRPOOL people – it’s an actual company people…but it’s nice to feel wanted…and to feel wanted…sometimes tits aren’t enough when her gut catches up with her…

Well here’s her more recent attempt at fitness ass….for Hollywood…because being a movie star is her goal…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2016

09

Dec

Khloe Kardashian for GQ Germany of the Day

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Khloe Kardashian proves the Germans and their weird scat fetishes is still a fucking thing….

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|SFW

2016

09

Dec

Hailey Clauson for Esquire of the Day

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Hailey Clauson is a sports illustrated model…which means she’s very important… so important that other magazines take pics of her…to keep her going….which is interesting because when she was a teen model, she sued a company for sexual assault and as someone who hates these quick to pull the trigger sexual assault people…because not everything is rape….you know typical victim blamer…I don’t really get why anyone would hire her after that. It’s like there are a million girls as hot – or hotter than her…give them the job…not some whiner…even if corporations taking slutty young girls is wrong – wait until they are 18 you perverts…and deserve to pay up….so let this one sit on her settlement and stop allowing her to exist by taking pics of her…she’s not that great and what’s with this no nipple bullshit…sort it out girl…

Posted in:Hailey Clauson|SFW

2016

09

Dec

Bregje Heinen in Latex Bras of the Day

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I once wrote (probably last week)..that Bregje is probably best known for being in Victoria’s Secret and Sports Illustrated, but I like to think her real accomplishment is having the most disgusting sounding name, a name that sounds like a lung cancer stricken hooker smoking a cigarette through her tracheostomy hole while sucking a dick with her mouth…before puking up all over you…something you’d think she couldn’t do with no gag reflex that was removed by cancer..but that being half dead while eating trash out of the garbage to survive probably contributed… “bregje”.

She’s in latex bras for her job and her lips look fake, which would make sense in this world of everyone jacking up their face..

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Posted in:Bregje Heinen|SFW

2016

09

Dec

Bella Thorne’s Ripped Stomach of the Day

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Bella Thorne is the teen wonder – she’s 18 or 19…she’s an instagram model or actor turned instagram model – because that’s where the market is now…and she is shameless and understands basic marketing tools given to her….and that’s her half naked body…works for me, but works better for her – cuz she gets paid…and I guess it works for her latch on sister too…because she’s everywhere with her…maximize that exposure…get fucking paid, or likes, or whatever they find important in their cocktease…

She’s clearly got a fat stomach, very important…in this world where the dumbest shit is important..

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW