I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the SFW Category

2017

29

Mar

The Reason You Haven’t Seen Sarah Michelle Gellar for 20 Years of the Day

Your girl Sarah Michelle Gellar is in some Entertainment Weekly 20 year reunion celebration of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a show I never watched or cared to watch, but that made a lot of people a lot of money, mainly because of teen girls, and I guess sad 30 year old girls…but more interestingly…virgin loser nerds who lived and still live in their mom’s basements…..

Seriously, some of the weirdest, most socially awkward people I know or have known were religious fans of this shit..and I don’t fucking know why…but I know that Sarah Michelle Gellar looks like shit, like some French Canadian mom who smokes too many cigarettes with her pencil thin lips and rough looking mom face…this is not the face of a celebrity, but rather that of a tired Walmart cashier who struggles with her meth addiction everyday…because it’s a struggle people…

I don’t know, this terrifies me…but reminds me that some things should be left in the past….and maybe she’s the vampire in need of being slayed….SLAY…

Posted in:Sarah Michelle Gellar|SFW

2017

29

Mar

Rita Ora’s Artistic Bikini Pic of the Day

And people say Rita Ora is a garbage hooker who happens to sing well enough to get a fake record deal – to justify her work visa – so that the dudes who like fucking her don’t have to marry her for citizenship…that turned it into a fake it until you make it situation, where girl now hosts TV shows….while girl is basically a big titty ethnically ambiguous hooker – not a famous and talented artist….

And those people are me…

But how could I discount her to that basic level of sex work, when she’s rich and accomplished and most importantly, has the ability to take these inspiring underwater bikini pictures from luxury travel experiences in the Maldives….

I mean sure all instagram hookers polarize hooking with these well shot bikini pics that are all the fucking same and they are all doing it but have these crazy followings because of it. Virtual no ones – with 2 million followers…it’s crazy…

But Rita ORA…she’s different…because people know she exists – they just don’t know why…

All this to say, the water makes her dumpiness float….camera tricks….that allow you to hashtag #notfiltered

Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2017

28

Mar

Ashley Graham Sexy of the Day

LOOK AT THIS THINSPIRATION!!! I love that fat and disgusting pig Ashely Graham who has dominated the fat chick market by being a fat chick model – for other fat chicks – who idolize her for being a fat chick willing to get in front of the camera – thanks to her deep understanding of that she is hot to the right person – something she first learned while visiting a Hip Hop Club during a college basketball after party…..during black history month….

Big black dick – loves this shit…fucks this shit proper and makes this shit think she’s valid enough to do shoots for brands and make over a million a year…claiming to love her body and that she’s fit and that we aren’t her doctors we can’t tell her otherwise – as the fat chicks cheer on and buy her bathing suits because it’s inspiring…until they look in the mirror and eat more donuts thinking “It’s ok to be fat and these donuts bring me a little joy in my life after that childhood trauma that made me fat”….

Point being. She’s disgusting. Whatever she says or however she polarizes her disgusting.

Scams…

Posted in:Ashley Graham|SFW

2017

28

Mar

Look How Many Gigi Hadid Needs to Look Worth Fucking of the Day

Gigi Hadid is a rich kid who is now a model…and in this photoshoot she did with Mert the overrated photographer according to me, but not to the fashion world who buy into his shit, she opens up about what she wanted to be a model:


My biggest interest was paying attention to the way a model could enhance a photo, rather than just being a part of it. That’s why I wanted to be a model.

She left out the part of “I’m a vapid cunt and like being validated and celebrated for being hot, because my mom was a model, my dad fucks models, and we make good money for doing nothing, not that I need money…I did it for the go”….

I thought it was interesting all the people it took to make this happen, and really there’s more people involved in the process….and this is as good as it gets..

You have – the magazine it’s from, the photographer, the stylist with the clothes, the hair dude, the make-up person….their assistants…lighting people….retouchers….that’s like 6 to 12 people to make this image happen….everyone getting paid their day rates…to make this image happen..pretty depressing…

But not as great as this feedback on the shoot from the “geniuses’ getting paid at hand….


What was your concept for this shoot?

Mert: We just wanted to be ourselves. This is what we do when we go out—we look in the camera and make silly faces.

Gigi: We wore matched ripped jeans and shirts. Comfortable in our sexiness.
Mert: And barefoot!

Comfortable in their sexiness…totally…you dumb cunt.

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2017

28

Mar

Kendall Jenner is Still Not Hot of the Day

Kendall Jenner is such fucking garbage…but you can see her nipples and average at best face….she got from her dad turned momma….while she lip syncs some Marilyn Monroe scenes / songs / in different outfits…in one of the easiest videos to produce ever…

I guess in her defence, not that anyone should ever defend a garbage Kardashian who along with her family is better off dead….with their greed and disgust in their no talent beyond knowing how to sell product to retards…thanks to being born into a family that knows how to sell product to retards….because they are whores…and thus get booked for shit…like she matters…and thinks she matters…because I guess when they world things you matter – you matter.

I like that she’s not fat and dumpy like her sisters, you know she’s got the white genes…probably Bruce’s only child that he birthed through his man pussy – but what do I know…very little that’s the answer…very little…

The fact this is considered art, talent, anything of value just shows you how pathetic the low expectations of the content of the times are…really…step it up…give me something, anything of value to deal with…garbage people.

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2017

28

Mar

People Like Eminiem’s Facetuned Daughter of the Day

Her name is Hailie Scott, she is Eminem’s pre fame daughter who played a character in his music while he was ripping her hooker / stripper mother apart, all in efforts to be the most accessible rapper to demented white trash who like beating their wives….and I’ve always thought he was a good time…

She’s got 300,000 followers on instagram and I guess she’s recently been featured in some mainstream magazine asking “where is baby Hailie now?”….since people remember the late 90s, they remember the girl who must be in her 20s now…and it’s time for her to milk it.

Milk it like a Hadid, she’s skinny enough in leggings, her family rich enough, her access pretty fucking massive…her dad is Eminem and she’s a fucking star in his songs…it’s like the best marketing an instagram hooker could have…

Her average face, clearly run through some facetuning, it’s blurry and weird looking and she should ask dad for some money to hire some photographers and retouchers – a dermatologist to Kylie Jenner / Muppet her face because cheesy fratty pics are one thing, but average looking skinny girls posed slutty – is easy to polarize and get girl on the runways in Paris Fashion week….like all these other rich kids…

I’d like to watch her do things Eminem describes doing to women…while listing to songs of Eminem singing about her…or those things he’d do to women…as his daughter does those things…because it’s meta…and because clearly any rich kid is going to be fucked up – especially Eminem’s daughter..because he built a career on dysfunction…

I’d like to see her up her instagram game…like the sluts of instagram…

Follow her ENCOURAGE THAT INSTAGRAM FAME

Posted in:Eminem|SFW

2017

28

Mar

Bar Refaeli Makes Another Baby of the Day

Bar Refaeli, known for her tits….and for her vagina being tainted by Leo DiCaprio when she was in her playful model years, before moving back to her hometown of Tel Aviv in Israel, where she found the richest guy she could, to have the best life she could have, getting married and breeding not once, but twice….

This was her recent big titty announcement that “something is cooking”…in some Orthodox jewish get as pregnant as you want it is God’s will, as you can, it’s a gift…and bitch is rich enough to support an army of her own like she was Heidi Klum…a German…the opposite of a Jewish…but without her people there would be Israel…my god it’s so confusing…I wonder if it will be born with a tail…

Their baby was born in Aug 2016…these fertile fucks….because you’re only supposed to announce at 3 months…so this thing’s been brewing since she had a 3 month old…most dudes don’t fuck their wives for the first 8-10 weeks of birthing cuz their pussies are broken…but I guess she’s a model and did the C-Section – not wanting to ruin any of her bikini pics with meaty scar tissue…but still…milk filled and breast feeding a three month old when the sperm collided with her uterus….like a fucking rat….or really any animal..having a litter…I find it very white trash….this is what happens to hookers in the trailer part…only rich and fancy.

Posted in:Bar Refaeli|SFW

2017

28

Mar

Melissa Benoist in a Bikini of the Day

Melissa Benoist is in a bikini in Mexico on vacation because her entire life isn’t a vacation….

I am sure she’s got a massive nerd following because she is supergirl and dudes are loyal about that nerd shit, even if the girl in the movie or show playing their fantasy isn’t all that hot…

That’s right, I said it, Melissa Benoist is not that hot…whether she’s in a supergirl outfit or not….

But dudes like her and her average at best, not so supergirl body…that’s out of the spanx uniform and is all around uninspiring…

Melissa Benoist, SUPERGIRL, is more interestinly a girl who was part of the FAPPENING, who you can google and find all her slutty pictures, that I was forced to delete so that I didn’t get arrested or sued by the lovely marketer who made a name for herself with those nudes….

I think she was actually fucking in hers…like actual dick on pussy action..without getting any hate for it…or really any pay – but it’s an investment you make when you put that shit out there playing that it was a damn violation….and not a fuck on camera, release, PR the shit out of it, benefit from the hits…cuz people like watching other people fuck…

At the tim of her sex tape scandal she was Glee cast member, who fucking some dude or possibly Lea Michele with a condom on, in the self shot porno that was probably staged and necessary in promoting Supergril….eminding everyone that we’re all fucking pornstars, even when we pretend we aren’t and if we want to get noticed ,it’s a good tactic.

The shocker wasn’t that there was no shocker in the video, or that she was in the video in the first place, tI was just shocked she was using a condom. No one uses condoms anymore, especially not hollywood people. Not that she really counted as hollywood people at the time, but I guess she is now, so she probably doesn’t use condoms anymore…she was an amateur then, not realizing herpes is a stamp of success and approval….

Now this isn’t Dick in Pussy, she’s gone onto do some nerd content at Supergirl…and looking average at best in a bikini…I mean that’s not a superhero body – doesn’t bitch know what squatting is…she’s supposed to be a damn superhero…

What another hollywood scam…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Melissa Benoist|SFW

2017

28

Mar

Michelle Pfeiffer Nipples for Interview Magazine of the Day

I am old…and so is Michelle Pfeiffer….but that means…that I remember Michelle Pfeiffer when she wasn’t old…and when she was one of the hottest things in Hollywood…not just because the Coolio song was written about her, but because of Scarface, the 35 year old Cat woman in Batman…and I am sure other movies she’s been in a ton of shit…she worked a lot in the 90s.

She’s pushing 60, has obviously jacked up her face with botox and fillers and looks more like a cat that she naturally looked when she was young and hotter…but still hot…which is weird but she’s Michelle Pfeiffer….

She’s been married to really rich TV writer / producer David E Kelley from LA Law, Picket Fences, Boston Public, Boston Legal, Ally McBeal fame…since the 90s….you know he scored her due to his personality and mindlocked in the not overly old as fuck hot actress of the time….because rich hot women like great personalities…if they have 10 hit shows.

Now she’s showing some nipple for a Magazine on what I assume is a comeback tour before it is ultimately too late…which in theory is too late…but thanks to being Michelle Pfeiffer it is not too late…even when it’s too late…thanks to being skinny and Michelle Pfeiffer.

Posted in:Michelle Pfeiffer|SFW

2017

28

Mar

Bella Thorne Tonguing the Wrong Thing in Canada of the Day

Bella Thorne is a disney star, super famous instagram hooker, nude enough to keep us interested, social media manipulating, next generation redheaded goddess with a jacked up her face with injections…and acne scars…

She’s gone and stuck her tongue on a fence post…..stickin that tongue to it…and I find the whole thing rude and offensive…because when in Canada her tongue should only be stuck to my anus….it’s a welcoming – thank you for your maple syrup – Jesus Martinez – Ambassador of Canada thing…

And her sticking it to a metal post, that’s just mocking me…

Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Martha Hunt’s Bikini Action of the Day

Good old American pussy. Created by good old fashion American hormone jacked up food, corn , Monsanto, fast food, and Victoria’s Secret….

Her body is weird to me, not that it’s not hot, it’s that wait to hip ration that seems off, like she had a rib surgically removed…and based on her being owned by Victoria’s Secret…I wouldn’t doubt modifications…because they are feminists who empower women by paying them a lot of money to reduce them to unrealistic body types other women envy and buy the panties they wear…because the world makes no sense…

Well..she’s on the beach…and in a bikini and looks hot…despite the whole looking weirdly shaped….because she’s a victoria’s secret model from America…meaning she’s the best the USA has to offer…unless she is just really good at sucking dick..you know, because of Feminism….

WHO KNOWS….TAYLOR SWIFT DOES I BET….since she’s controlling our MINDS…..through her shitty music..

Posted in:Martha Hunt|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Brooke Shields in a Bikini of the Day

Pretty Baby – Brooke Shields has always been a bit of a man, I mean besides when she was a 14 year old naked in Blue Lagoon, a movie I’ll assume all of you, especially the producer and directors, jerked off to, because I assume their logic is if a 14 year old is naked for the sake of art, it’s not actual nudity, and if you jerk off to that 14 year old nude, you’re just a purveyor of art….or fans of art…not creepy perverts just trying to tell a wonderful story…or enjoying a wonderful story…

In this era…I doubt the naked 14 year old love story would go over very well, but it’s not 1980 anymore, and that’s probably a good thing…let’s stick to naked 18 year olds for our pervert needs…

And I guess now that Suddenly Susan tank who Andre Agassi once wrestled….is feeling good about her 50 year old body…all hard nippled…and lovely…because she’s put up a picture.

Now I never found her hot, always found her terrible but today is a new day of a new week and she’s doing good…hard nippled and this is good…and that’s so fucking weird..

Posted in:Brooke Shields|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Chantal Jeffries is the Low Level Mangled Face Cameltoe of the Day

Chantal Jeffries is part of the Kyle Jenner generation. The fat chicks with mangled faces who get liposuction on their stomachs to give them a waistline despite looking like fucking circus freaks…they can angle themselves to the ratchet “urban” which is really white Jewish kid market…and they can play sex icon, glamorous, bootleg kardashian…who probably hangs out with the Kardashians…and who has a ton of followers which would make you think that she’s relevant…while your brain is telling you she’s fucking busted….

Her claim to fame is being the girl caught with Bieber when he was caught speeding in a lambo in Florida…and I guess that’s all it takes to get to this moment right here…hanging with other fat ass young girls who look like they are 45 year old moms…done up for the hip hop community…as their bikini bottoms get eating by their cunts like it’s some fancy restaurant meal they’re at because they’re classy…

Posted in:Chantal Jeffries|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Charlize Theron is the TANK of the Day

Charlize Theron is a tank…

Just a heads up – because I think it’s important to remind the world that aging happens and it is a terrible thing – even when you’re rich and you get work done, you may think you are god, and you may have a god complex because you’ve made it and because you’re South African and white, and because your mom killed your dad for being abusive, taking his life like the lord and savior would if there was one..you still scale out the way you are meant to…because it’s not the mid 90s anymore and you’re not the South African model turned Playboy Playmate turned actress who got naked in movies turned actress who won Oscars ..turned big…and sure she was probably always big…but now filled out big…and it’s terrifying. Blame menopause. Genetics. Biology…who knows….

But what I can say with certainty is that Charlize Theron is no more.

Posted in:Charlize Theron|SFW

2017

27

Mar

Rachael Leigh Cook Abs in a Bikini of the Day

37 year old Josie and the Pussycats…..she’s all that….Baby Sitter Club….and I think that’s pretty much all she’s done until today…when she’s figured she must fight the instagram model – RACHEL COOK – who is stealing her NAME…(see pics below)…

And show her bikini body and middle aged abs, because when you’re in your mid 30s and your life was being the hot girl in her early 20s, is fitness….eat that vegan, do that coke, work those abs….look better than most 37 year olds….but not quite as good as the instagram model who stole your name…but still good enough for perverts like me.

Posted in:Rachael Leigh Cook|SFW