SFW Archives - Page 30 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2020

28

Jan

Charlotte Lawrence and Kaia Gerber Dyke it Down of the Day

Charlotte Lawrence and Kaia Gerber are showing you all what it is like to be rich, to be connected thanks to their parents, to be making it in this era of every girl being a half naked exhibitionist on the internet.

These are two “it-girls” trying to be “it-girls” the only way being raised on porn thanks to the internet has taught them.

It’s playful, it’s lesbionic, it taps into the male fantasy to fight the patriarchy and the objectification of women, by basically playing into that and it’s HOT.

I know if I was a rich celebrity, this is totally what I’d want my daughters to be doing, fuck the whole going to school to become a doctor, when you can make money being a vapid little twat who behaves badly for social media….fuck making a difference in the world or having any insight into fixing all that is wrong…just clickbait through life and the industry will embrace you because getting that followers isn’t all that hard…when you’re rich, connected….and a spoiled brat who gets what she wants.

The whole thing is silly, but at least they aren’t in some bullshit buying their way into college scandal, when what they are doing is bying their likes and follows which requires much more integrity.

What I am trying to say is that Charlotte Lawrence may be the future….while Kaia Gerber is the “it girl” of the now who fucked Pete Davidson and thus will die off of Aids or some shit, paving the way for Charlotte Lawrence to shine….assuming she didn’t get the Aids too…since all these kids are perverts who fuck each other cuz of that being raised on porn thing.

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Posted in:charlotte lawrence|Kaia Gerber|SFW

2020

28

Jan

Yuan Herong is The Corona Virus Hero of the DAy

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The hero we need is here….

She’s the bodybuilding instagram doctor from CHINA (I assume) who is on the FRONT lines of the fight against the Corona Virus and who will beat the fuck out of it like some kind of action hero because she’s built like an action hero.

They say not all heroes wear capes or something like that, it’s a meme that is overused by the general public so I block it out, but apparently not all heroes wear clothes either…at least when flexing their abs.

I know that if I was the Corona Virus, I’d be scared to come face to face with this…body that you can’t fuck up the ass cuz it can grab onto your dick with all that musculature and rip it the fuck off.

So fuck you weird asian Viruses…as we celebrate your body building doctors that are helping downplay the magnitude of “we’re all gonna fucking die”….

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Posted in:Feature|SFW

2020

28

Jan

Kiernan Shipka Bra and Panties of the Day

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I don’t find Kiernan Shipka hot at all…even in her bra and panty set…which is weird.

Instead of being like “Half naked actress from some dumb CW show and I like half naked actresses”…..I think “Damn I really don’t find Kiernan Shipka hot at all”.

But Why? I don’t have the answers.

In fact I think that it’s too bad I don’t like her half naked because she’s half naked and that should theoretically be enough for me.

There’s nothing specifically wrong with her body. There’s nothing I can point to and say I don’t like Kiernan Shipka because of her dick clit, or her fucking fat thighs, or her fucking full retard face….there’s no defects of deformitites, if anything she looks fit…so maybe it’s a “It’s me, not you” situation…..

If you saw pics of girls I’ve found hot half naked over the 35 years or more of looking at half naked chicks, you’ll definitely know it’s “Me” not “her” situation. I have found some real fucking monsters hot.

SO I post these confused. Why can’t I buy into this hype. I just don’t know.

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Posted in:Kiernan Shipka|SFW

2020

28

Jan

Zoey Deutch Getting Slutty of the Day

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Zoey Deutch is one of our goto celebrity brat kids trying to make it on social media using every fucking connection they have thanks to who their parents are.

I am a big fan of celebrity kids and their entitlement or the fact that they don’t really have to try as hard as other girls to get work, to get rent paid and to get where they want to go.

Their celebrity upbringing pretty much secures them with room and board, a trust fund and all the meetings they want or need with anyone they want and need it with.

SO…when they get nude or half nude for photoshoots, there’s this level of not needing to do that but really doing it for the sheer love of being slutty in photoshoots and I find that hot.

Zoey Deutch is the daughter of Howard the Duck’s Lea Thompson and some producer / director who did Pretty in Pink named Howard Deutch, not to be confused for Howard the Duck….

Point being…Zoey Deutch is good.

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Posted in:SFW|Zoey Deutch

2020

27

Jan

Kelly Gale Getting Wet of the Day

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Kelly Gale is a Victoria’s Secret model and she’s getting wet in these bikini pics.

I want to assume that they are not photoshopped because they are not all that great, because I am drawn to the “not that great pics” because I assume they aren’t photoshopped like all other bikini pics of girls are now putting out there.

We’ve got social media LIES thanks to “facetune” so any influencer you see is filtered to shit, often times badly. Photoshopping themselves like real fucking assholes.

Then the whole catalog pic or editorial pics have also always been LIES…

It’s like what do girls even look like in bikinis anymore…we’ll never fucking know thanks to the LIES that are the internet but we can assume that none of the girls we know, or fucked, or want to fuck look quite like this…more reason to stare at her.

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Posted in:Kelly Gale|SFW

2020

27

Jan

Lottie Moss Topless of the Day

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Lottie Moss is Kate Moss’s sister that looks nothing like Kate Moss but that doesn’t stop her from mooching off the last name to achieve all her dreams.

Plus, the world doesn’t really care about finding original talent or using hot and skinny chicks for modeling, which I guess works out nicely for Lottie Moss, because they just like that she’s affiliated to someone who was important or iconic or a legend in her own right like Kate Moss.

The good news is that she’s basically doing the influencer thing, so that means her tits are out, and she’s got tits, seeing as she’s not built like Kate Moss but more like an instagram filter or girl who may be fat but photoshops herself to look like a sex doll.

This pic (the top pic) is her talking about how taking a shit is good for the soul….the rest is her living that bikini thick girl from instagram life thanks to being Kate Moss’ sister and I figure use what you got to make the least amount of work for you while making you the most amount of money. Integrity is for suckers and no one notices integrity.

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Posted in:Lottie Moss|SFW

2020

27

Jan

Olivia Wilde is a Bathtub Troll of the Day

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Olivia Wilde gets a lot of hype for being this super hot actress with a silly fake name that is supposed to reflect her relationship to Oscar Wilde, because her biological or maiden name is COCKBURN, a name that she didn’t want to run with professionally for obvious reasons.

I don’t dislike Olivia Wilde and for the most part I think she looks good, but this has got to be the worst picture I’ve ever seen of her and she is the one who released it to the world.

Is this the equivalent of a rape victim getting fat and dying her hair black after getting a series of shit tattoos to cover up her cutting scars – in efforts to not be appealing to the opposite sex so that rape doesn’t happen again? I don’t know.

I just know if you’re going to do the bathtub thing – don’t do it like that TikTok neckless video trend….

If you aren’t on the TikTok trends: Here’s a sample of what this Bath Time Selfie that could be so much more erotic seeing as she’s naked…looks like…

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Posted in:Oliva Wilde|SFW

2020

27

Jan

Sailor Brinkley Cook Underwater Bikini of the Day

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Sailor Brinkley Cook is the not very hot, because she doesn’t need to be hot, daughter of Christie Brinkely.

Christie Brinkley, who diluted her SI SWIMSUIT icon model body with the sperm of a very rich dudes over the course of her life, in order to set herself for life, because and thus set the kids up.

So the kids don’t need to be hot because they won’t need to use that hotness to survive, or to have that good life, you know whore out like their mom did, because they’ll start out rich.

That’s not to say Christie Brinkley was some poor, destitude girl when she got into Modeling, anyone who knows that Billy Joel Uptown Girl song knows it is about her. She was actually adopted by her mom’s second husband, who was named Don Brinkley and who lived in Malibu and Bel Air and Brentwood growing up.

He was the TV writer of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (second time mentioning that IP today), The Fugitive and a bunch of other shit like Raw Hide….basically he was a rich TV writer.

But that doesn’t man his adopted daughter with all her adopted issues can’t be a whore who likes to fuck or breed with rich guys to maintain that lifestyle.

However, Peter Cook, Sailor’s dad along with being a successful architect, was also a male model, so maybe this was her attempt at creating something hot and I guess just missing the mark since underwater she looks alright.

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Posted in:Sailor Brinkley|SFW

2020

27

Jan

Maria Menounos Bikini of the Day

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Last week, I posted this:

Maria Menounos is still out here self promoting herself, because why the fuck not, what else is she going to do with herself. She’s in her 40s, no longer on nightly TV talking about other people while deeply wanting to be those people, only to have been able to become some level of those people, thanks to the perversion of you!

So I guess this is her giving thanks for that?! Who knows. Bitch is in a Bikini with her Greek tits that I assume like Anal because the Greek invented it, because sex workers call Anal going Greek out….and that’s about the extent of the discussion….uninspired by Maria Menounos since I first saw Maria Menounos. She just doesn’t have any star power to me. I’ll post it because her happiness is important news.

Glad things worked out for you girl.

To one picture of Menounos with her tits squeezed together in her blue bikini.

Apparently, there was more content around her tits squeezed together in a blue bikini and since she wasn’t working the CBS red carpet to the Grammys like she may have in the past, but instead some other asshole was, who I assume is the new John Tesh with a tan from Entertainment Tonight, I felt give some entertainment news show reporter tits of the past some shine….cuz they are good tits.

Plus she’s Greek and along with inventing Math, the Greeks invented anal, thus the Greeks are closest to what Anal is, she was born for anal, which I guess we could argue all people were born for anal, hence all the queers in society….and girls not getting pregnant…dude to having dudes they meet off tinder finish in their asses instead of their cunts…it’s mainstream that Anal thing. I guess what it comes down to is that I like to write the word anal.

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Posted in:Maria Menounos|SFW

2020

27

Jan

Halsey’s Tits on SNL of the Day

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I don’t know what I dislike more, SNL or Halsey, but both are pretty fucking bad.

I know that SNL has this legacy and that it’s seen as this revolutionary show for comedy and that may be true, I mean the 70s were a different era. I think I only watched the show a few years when I was 14 or 15 and even thought it was shit…I just lived in the middle of no where, had no friends, and would be home on a Saturday night with nothing by network television to entertain me.

I know that the show has bred some serious fucking talent whether you like their comedy or not….from Adam Sandler who got fired from the show and who is now a billioaire, to Chris Rock to Will Ferrell, also a billionaire, to Dan Ackroyd also a billionaire thanks to Ghostbusters…to Bill Murray and all then all the modern assholes I find fucking terrible like Dancing Monkey Fallon, Tina Fey and Andy Samberg…it’s all just a pile of commercialized, safe, TV friendly, weak comedic garbage…

But then again…what do I know about comedy. I’ve never tried to be funny. I’ve never done stand-up. I’ve never written a comedic movie. I am just a critic on the outskirts of relevance. I say I’m a comedy snob, that laughing is a waste of time, that comedy besides a small handful of people is just lame. Some loser who practiced and memorized in front of the mirror to get that perfect 15 minute set. So my opinion doesn’t reflect the success or the zeigtgeist of what the people are actually into. I mean if it was, I wouldn’t live in a ghetto basement apartment with a fat wife cuz she pays the rent.

I still think I can say SNL sucks…

Then there’s Halsey, some liar who created some fake backstory of her drug riddled ghetto half black homeless youth, when really bitch was just some party girl who fucked a DJ that kept in contact with said DJ and did a vocal track on one of his massive songs, paving the way for her….but no one like to say “i sucked a DJ dick and he was nice to me in this MeToo era and wanted to keep the door open for future dick sucking, so I sent him a vocal track I did and he made it a hit”….

I find her barely hot, barely interesting, barely slutty enough….whether in lingerie showing off her new fake tits, or a bikini….so these are two things I hate….coming together for media and popculture moments that shouldn’t fucking matter.

Here she is in a slutty short dress

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Posted in:Halsey|SFW

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