SFW Archives - Page 357 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2018

13

Jul

Cindy Crawford Wet Bikini in Muskoka of the Day

Cindy Crawford is sex working, or sexual assaulting Canada whilst enjoying her time at her mansion of a cottage in Northern Ontario where all the rich people have their lake houses, because for some reason Cindy Crawford and her Husband the Tequila George Clooeny fucking billionaire bought up there and now the whole family whilst not whoring to the world, through her daughter…Kaia

I find it very weird that Kaia Gerber is the face of any brand, mainly OMEGA watches, who target rich old men, using a 16 year old half naked girl…sounds grey area to me…almost illegal…criminal..but it’s advertising and this old model, who was one of the hottest models…singed the field day consent form….

WEIRD.

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Posted in:Cindy Crawford|SFW

2018

13

Jul

Phoebe Price Spreads it in a Sheer Dress of the Day

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Phoebe Price is my friend. I have been bugging her to send me nudes for as long as we’ve been friends and she always laughs it off…but then I see her social media and her paparazzi fame whoring attempts that work…and they are consistently getting racier and racier as she gets older and older…now I don’t think we’ll have a Maitland Ward situation filled with hardcore lesbian sex in a few months when she realizes the getting naked works…but I’d sure like to see her spreading these legs whilst naked before it’s too late….even if it’s never too late.

Posted in:Phoebe Price|SFW

2018

12

Jul

Alexis Ren Erotica of the Day

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This picture of Alexis Ren is hilarious because she had someone take it, looked at it, loved it, and posted it…knowing that people would be excited by it, knowing that despite it being pretty fucking aggressive, it’s what the people want…and she’s not going to be the one to not give it to them…so here she is giving it to them….I mean I’ve seen butt shots, I’ve seen over the shoulder butt shots, I’ve seen it all, I’ve probably even seen this pose..but it’s so hardcore, hard to believe she was one of the most followed “influencers”…I mean not really with posts like this…it’s the kind of thing I want to follow…but hard to believe brands would ever work with her…makes no sense..and either does that ass…it’s so globular…which sounds like the mucus dripping out of her…because that’s what it takes to matter…at least in Alexis Ren’s case…who only exists because she was some instagram dude’s prop….and continues to be a prop because she clearly is a one trick pony who doesn’t know how to polarize all this…or maybe this is what it’s all about…and is actually her brilliantly manipulating us…I just don’t know.

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Posted in:Alexis Ren|SFW

2018

12

Jul

Doutzen Kroes Swimsuit of the Day

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Doutzen Kroes is a fired Victoria’s Secret model – proving that despite being fired from her job – she is still more than capable of wearing a bathing suit – she doesn’t need those million dollar contracts to put on a bathing suit…she can do that shit for fucking free – so take that evil corporation for trying to put her down and reduce her to feel like she wasn’t capable of doing all she knew how to do ….she’s empowered, not a victim anymore…Doutzen….DOUTZING IT.

TAKE THAT meanies at VS who aren’t inclusive of MOMS from the Netherlands no one cares about.

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Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|SFW

2018

12

Jul

Bella Hadid Pussy Grab of the Day

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I just did a post on GIGI HADID’s HARD NIPPLES …so it’s only fair that I give some attention to her coat tail riding mooch sister….since every conversation that ever started with Bella Hadid, started with “She’s Gigi Hadid’s ugly sister people find interesting looking because her dad paid them to”…

Well, she’s in a bikini as she does, she’s sexualizing herself far more than the other ones, because I guess you have to when you’re the ugly one….and apparently Bella Hadid has sand in her pussy, or maybe it’s just herpes…these things happen when you’re banging rappers to make yourself relevant, and that shit, when it comes in contact with salt water…fucking burns…

That’s how I’ve interpreted this picture and that’s all I’m willing to put into my interpretation of the picture.

I mean other than saying I prefer my dyke porn with more dyking in it….if you’re going to be in bikinis together…SCISSOR…or share a double ended dildo…

Bella Hadid Tits and Ass in White Thong Bikini

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Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2018

12

Jul

Dakota Fanning in a Bathing Suit of the Day

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Dakota Fanning creeps me out…

Whether she’s doing the bikini thing for social media – like girls her age – trying to assimilate and conform to girls her age – after being this weird little Robot actress when she was a little kid who I saw in interviews and knew that something wasn’t right…maybe a glitch in her code, in her matrix, something…that they’ve worked out to allow her to be just a basic instagram attention seeker…and not some 8 year old Oscar nominee…

I like to see young starlets reduce themselves to bikini selfies like EVERY single girl out there. It’s refreshing to know that the addiction applies to all walks of life.

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Posted in:Dakota Fanning|SFW

2018

12

Jul

Caroline Wozniacki Bikini of the Day

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MORE ATHLETES IN BIKINIS….It will never stop…

I used to have a tennis fetish, back when women’s tennis featured women, sure there was the occasional lesbian, but for the most part it was just rich white girls frolicking around hitting balls, grunting and flashing panties…a porno fantasy really…

Now the competition is too strong, and so are the women who participate, but I can still watch them grunt like they are either fucking you up the ass with their dicks, or vice versa…while showing sweaty cameltoe…and to me that’s a celebration..

I don’t think I still have that tennis fetish I’ve always had…because this is what the hot ones look like…a bit too much musculature….I prefer my tennis to be more dainty…

That said here’s Caroline Wozniacki…who I guess is Steve Wozniacki, the guy who created APPLE’s wife….in a bikini like all the girls are doing these days.

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Posted in:Caroline Wozniacki|SFW

2018

12

Jul

Izabel Goulart Hot Bikini Body of the Day

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Izabel Goulart has a hot fucking body. I used to really appreciate her workout videos. I don’t think I’ve watched any of them in a very fucking long time because I fucking hate instagram…but there was a while where I was posting them all the time….you can probably check the archives if you care…and I probably wrote the exact same thing I’m writing now about old bitches who still like to walk the VS lingerie runway….so they stay in shape….who ditched out on the brand’s day to day angel-ing to move back to Brazil on her pile of money…..to focus on being close to 40 fucking years old and committed to health and nutrition…pretty much retired..not bad for a Brazilian…who may be a tranny, I mean the muscle tone coupled with hearing that Brazil has the best Trannies that look like women so long as you’re not scared of AIDS….and you’re not…because you’d wear it as a badge of “Look everyone, all the haters, I have proof I’ve had sex, POSITIVE PROOF”….

Either way, her body is mental…

: `

See how mental it is….and all it takes is diet and exercise slackers…don’t know how to take an athlete approach to winning at life.

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Posted in:Izabel Goulart|SFW

2018

12

Jul

Hailey Baldwin Short Shorts for Jesus of the Day

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I was once on a plane with James Prince from Rap-A-Lot records…he owns an island in Belize thanks to making stupid money of Texas rap….

So I don’t know why the fuck this Jesus Freak is rockin’ his jacket…is she one of those URBAN hip hop Jesus freaks who parties, dresses like a slut for the internet, walks around with her vagina out, but knows that she’s acccepted Jesus into her life, so it’s ok…cuz he died for her sins or some shit…

But at least Kylie Jenner is a billionaire thanks to her cosmetic company…

I can almost see her JESUS LIPS…..that are now Bieber lips…and have been since she was a good christian having underage anal sex pre-marriage with the pop star….

I guess their marriage may make her Canadian…welcome to my sisterhood…let’s maple syrup wrestle eating beavers as we do.

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Posted in:Hailey Baldwin|SFW

2018

12

Jul

Bella Thorne Bikini Squat of the Day

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Bella Thorne Bikini Squat is missing one thing…

Her massive, too much rave drugs, pile of shit….you know she had because she has that fast metabolism still, she’s young and has muscle from her pre-raving fitness days…

If you’ve ever been in rave bathrooms / jerked off in Rave bathrooms, you’ll know it’s the one place you can still get crabs….oh and there’s shit everywhere…cuz ravers, even fake ravers like this Disney idiot…are disgusting…and so is Bella Thorne.

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

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