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Archive for the SFW Category

2013

31

Oct

Crazy Goat Women Attacks News Crew and Other Videos of the Day

Here’s a classy woman with a classy bull nose ring who lives in a classy neighbourhood and gets herself involved in classy situations…but who doesn’t like the news crew very much…

She comes at them with Mace when making goat sounds…and I appreciate her passion…and commitment to her fight…she is a girl who knows what she wants, and goes for it…with a hot little body….I want to marry…

If you don’t like that amazing shit, here’s a homeless man with Itchy Balls…

If you don’t like, you’ll like a family traumatizing the shit out of a girl by tricking her into thinking she was getting a tablet, only to give her a rock…you know that shit is going to destroy her and follow her for the rest of her life…as she descends into prostitution/stripping or whatever else she ends up doing thanks to asshole family like this pushing her into it…

Posted in:SFW|Videos

2013

31

Oct

Miley Cyrus’ Titty Clam Costume of the Day

People may want to hate Miley’s Lil Kim costume – because they just don’t see the high concept money making puppet that Miley Cyrus is…or because they don’t understand why she chose a titty pastie that was bigger than her entire titty…but they do seem to like making “twerk or treat” jokes…even though Miley doesn’t actually know how to twerk…I guess they just don’t understand how hip hop she is…but maybe her dressing up like the bitch who fucked BIGGY will make them all realize she’s legit..and not some Disney novelty act in the Hollywood Hills with too much money to be grounded or really know what’s up…

I don’t even think Miley was born when Kim was relevant, but none of that matters cuz I am too busy loving everything about this…a little too much…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

2013

29

Oct

Anastasia Ashley in the Best Surf Video Ever of the Day

I have been trying to marry Anastasia Ashley…for the last 3 months. She’s a fucking star on all levels and I love her for more than just her fearless approach to life, her surfing and what one may consider shameless or even exhibitionism on her instagram…

I think is amazing…even if it’s not smeared up against my face…which it should be and the fact that it isn’t makes me sad.

That said, She’s been getting all kinds of shit today on the internet because she posted this video of her ass being amazing before catching a wave, if that’s even surf talk, I’m not really in that world, and I don’t know what’s up in general…maybe that’s why Anastasia won’t marry me…but what I do know is is fit round asses when I see them and it seems like this ass is fit and round and I want to chip my tooth on it…

You see surf girls, even the fat, ugly, troll-like ones all have rocking’ asses…but some get more hate than others and since I want to be her superman…I am here to defend her…

The fact is simple, she’s in a bikini all fucking day, so being in a bikini isn’t a thing for her, it’s like her posing in pants would be more unnatural for her, she’s got a great fit body, that she’s spent her life working on, that she’s clearly comfortable with, and just living, is not exploiting it just cuz she’s showing it….

No one hates on a nurse for posing in her blood and semen covered scrubs…you see this is her fucking uniform…

People can choose to watch her or ignore her, they can even hate on her, even though that’s kinda homosexual, but shitting on her for having a great shitter that happens to go everywhere she goes, because if it didn’t, that would be weird.

Girl surfers, no matter how good they are, are second rate to the men. Their prize money is shit, they need to work their asses off for sponsors who pay them whatever is left from their budget that isn’t spent on dudes, and their entire existence and ability to surf full-time depends on being spokesmodels to their brands…All surfers do this….

So the reality is, this Anastasia angel sent from heaven to ruin my life bitch can surf, she wins, she’s insane, she’s got a bigger personality than the waves she kills herself on, she works hard on surfing daily, and her ass is just her fucking ass…but here she is being hated for what is probably the best video ever, but I may just be saying that cuz I am smitten with her.

You see the industry treats these girls like models, people want these pictures and videos, their livelihood depends on it, but when they happen, everyone takes a “Higher than thou” stance, and hate on it, when really they are all the reason for it….and really what’s the big fucking deal…she’s in a fucking bathing suit surfing yo….chill the fuck out.

I am glad this video happened, because it gives us all something to compare our wife’s shitty, lazy, boring asses to…it gives me hope of one day shoving my tongue up in this….

It’s not like she’s released a sex tape to get a reality show like Kim Kardashian and all the other fame whores…she’s a suffer and this is a surf video…It’s not like she posted this and emailed all the blogs asking for it to be posted…she’s just a fucking surfer and you’re all just a bunch of perverts for thinking it’s just a strategic gratuitous ass video…and even if it was…I’ll take two more…

People just like to hate…and the only thing I hate is that Anastasia Ashley won’t be my Valentine for the rest of time…til death do us part….like we were Final Destionada….

All this to say, I wish I was her wet suit…just for a day…all covered in her pee…it would be magical…we’re all allowed to have dreams….

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|SFW

2013

29

Oct

Selena Gomez is Awesome in a Bikini of the Day

I think I just fell in love with Selena Gomez…all it took was a few months to forget she scissored with Justin Beiber in some of the gayest lesbian sex ever…but more importantly it took some touring to shed that pesky 10 pounds of weed and prescription pill weight that was holding you down and making her not very amazing to look at in a bikini in Springbreakers….

She’s the kind of girl I want to sing love songs, written by a team of a dozen people, set up by the record label, in efforts to sell millions of copies, like I am some kind of money making puppet, because she’s into those kinds of long songs…and maybe, just maybe, we’ll scissor one day too…cuz I am an inny not an putty.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2013

28

Oct

Celebrity Halloween Costumes So Far of the Day

It is Halloween and people are going fucking nuts. I was just in LA and the hottest girls are always the fame whore wannabe celebrity LA chicks who aren’t at the exclusive parties, but are working fucking hard to one day be, just walking Sunset half naked, in various creative costumes, trying to get noticed and outdo each other, because that’s what competitive quest for fame is all about….

The actual celebrities, are just typical, disconnected and obvious in their played out costumes, that you’ll still like, because you appreciate disconnected celebrity bullshit, especially when in costume….even though you should be focused on the everyday girls fighting to get noticed, they have more to prove!

My biggest fail was not going to the Playboy party when I could have…I just assumed Playboy was dead…which I guess makes sense since it is Halloween and the dead celebrate…

Here are some of the celebrity costumes that people are talking about, even though they bore me, that have happened so far, even though it’s not even Halloween yet…

Zombie Hugh Hefner and his “Wife” Gold Digger Hooker Dressed Like Hooker Miley and Zombie Robin Thicke


Joan Rivers Dressed Like Fat Miley….

Elisabetta Canalis was Wonder Woman which is appropriate because we be wondering why she’s famous….



Paris Hilton did Miley Cyrus and Barbie…both the herpes ridden bootleg Kim Kardashian version…


Julianne Hough Black Face Which is Hilarious…and Amazing…Especially Since She’s Trying to Pretend it Didn’t Happen…like it was the Sex with Ryan Seacrest she “Had” when they were “dating”….

Some dude named Jamie Vandekamp Dressed like Trayvon Martin, Not Famous, But Hilarious, so I threw it in…

Kelly Brook as Mary Antoinette’s Cleavage Covered in Blood…for Any Excuse to Post Her Cleavage…




Tara Reid as Who The Fuck Knows or Cares..especially not her, she’s just Booze Soaked and 40 Year too Broken Down to know what is happening…

Jessica Lowndes….with Mom Cleavage…



Posted in:Halloween|SFW

2013

25

Oct

Lady Gaga’s Moustache Lingerie Attention Cry Press Conference of the Day

Lady Gaga is dumpy and ridiculous and always has been. She was a fabricated lie by the record labels who proved that with marketing and a little concept idiots everywhere would get totally sucked into her shit, including herself…

Well she showed up to a press conference in lingerie with a Parisian moustache…

We call this outfit, falling the fuck off, making a fool of yourself for attention, hoping your silly stunts, that are just silly stick and people respect you as an artist again, even though more focus is put on shitty publicity stunts that get boring, than on producing good quality product, you fool.

What a joke.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Lady Gaga|SFW

2013

25

Oct

Candice Swanepoel’s Awesome Instagram Pic of the Day

Candice Swanepoel posted this Victoria’s Secret fitness picture on her social media, and I totally approve of this type of behavior, even if it is being trickled down to us from an evil corporation, because sometimes evil corporations figure out just how easy it is to trick us into looking at pics of their products by sneaking them on babes and making them semi pornographic, at least to someone like me who loves booty in tight pants, because it is hot….and really to the right person, everything and anything can be pornographic…there are enough freaks out there to get off to the weirdest shit…that this is up on some real subtle goodness I would like to bury my face into…if only it didn’t taste like a computer screen….and whatever I spilled on it last night..

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|SFW

2013

24

Oct

Miley and Her New Boyfriend Turnt Up of the Day

In the wise words of Miley Cyrus…

So it’s true. If you turn the lights off and look into a mirror and say #turndown4WHAT 3 times fast shit gets TURNT.

It is poetry from a retard who listen to too much LA hip hop radio…that confuses me because I am not a 15 year old medicated retard at the mall, but also because it’s set to this picture of her and her boyfriend…I mean is this a love letter…is this romance…if I was the bearded dude…I’d be loving every second of this ridiculousness…texting my homies being like “I’m fucking Miley Cyrus, Hilarious Right”…and we’d all laugh and laugh…because 3 times fast shit gets turnt.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|SFW

2013

24

Oct

Rihanna’s in a Bikini Again and I Like It of the Day

Rihanna has proven yet again that she doesn’t need magazines to take bikini pics of her, she can just do that shit on her own, and even keep it interesting by getting into twerk stance…because really in this day and age…twerk stance is all we really need to keep life worth living and bikini pics worth looking at and in Rihanna’s defence, she’s a black chick from the islands, she’s not jumping on any trend, her fucking granny twerks, I mean not now that she’s dead, but pre-death she twerked…and her granny’s granny twerked…this is just a cultural experience yo….a half naked cultural experience on instagram.

Posted in:Rihanna|SFW

2013

23

Oct

Rihanna’s Instagram Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

The interesting thing about Rihanna is that she doesn’t need magazines to do photoshoots for her anymore…she’s bigger than the fucking magazines and press is just a waste of her time…she’s her own fucking empire and can just put the shit out on her instagram and make shit pop..

Rihanna is the biggest fucking thing out there now and here she is posting pics of some random shoot that I am going to assume is for her instagram exclusively, because why the fuck else would they upload dozens of pics to the shit…I mean I guess due to narcism but in her defence, she’s from the fucking caribbean and was a loser growing up, but not the entire world loves her and throws money at her, it’s kinda hard to stay grounded and not thing you’re some messenger sent from heaven to bless the world with your bikini pics, it just can’t be possible that she ever thinks she doesn’t deserve this, because if she did, her handlers would be failing the record label, bitch needs to think and believe that she is important and that what she does betters the fucking world..and I guess these pics probably don’t represent that…but they are still worth looking at…because you know if a girl you worked with uploaded a dozen bikini pics to her instagram you’d think “what the fuck is wrong with Jenny”…then you’d probably masturbate to them….and ask yourself “what the fuck is wrong with me”….

Posted in:Rihanna|SFW

2013

23

Oct

Hayden Panettiere’s Ridiculous Product Placement of the Day

I know celebrities from all levels, some personally, some who have told me to fuck off and some who aren’t actual celebrities but rather fame whores with a lot of followers on their social media…I’m talking actors, singers, pornstars, athletes and I’m not bragging, they are all horrible people…

I also know managers, agents, and publicists and PR people…again, not bragging they are horrible people…

Based on my experience, there is no way this Hayden Panettiere, little person to the stars, is just casually eating Burger King fries…holding the box like a spokesmodel at a tradeshow…like she’s getting paid, because she is getting paid, nothing like this is free…because if it was free, she wouldn’t be giving them free press, but rather she’d order in, cuz no one wants anyone to know they eat Burger King…even at 4 am when drunk…

I guess that makes her a little more of a whore than you probably originally thought, I mean what else will she do for money, she’s clearly shameless, let’s hope things that involved a sex tape…because I’d like to see that circus clown performance…more that I like watching her eat fries..

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|SFW

2013

23

Oct

Samantha Gradovile is Amazing in GQ UK of the Day

I posted THESE NAKED PICS OF SAMANTHA GRADOVILLE FOR VOGUE or some other fashion magazine, because in the event you didn’t know this, fashion is all about the nudity, because nudity is so anti-fashion, making it ironic, and ironic is so in, and I’m not fucking complaining, I love tricking hot models into getting naked as much as the net guys…not that this Samantha chick, who is American, despite not being 400 pounds, covered in greasy acne, and eating a burger or fried chicken or a bag of chips, which threw me off too..and she’s amazing…this time of GQ UK and not naked, but still lovely.

Posted in:Samantha Gradovile|SFW

2013

22

Oct

Christie Brinkley is Amazing at 60 of the Day

Christie Brinkle at 59 represents all the good SI has done for the world, because there was a time before fame whores and low level models with huge Internet followings that backed the magazine into the corner feeling obligated to put them on the cover for a third time…despite the obvious glandular issues no one seems to notice but me…

I mean historically, the Chrissy Teigens and Kate Upton and Nina Agdals were actual serious babes who we were excited to see in bikinis – not over exposed media machines who must works for free because SI is still a stamp of approval, especially for a Billabong spokesmodel turned gold digger….

Because there was a time when I could really embrace the model choices, from Elle Macpherson to Christie Brinkley to whoever the other busty and amazing bikini models they used were…and I guess seeing Christie Brinkley amazing at 60, even if she’s had some work done, reminds me that superhumans do exist and the team at SI found them…

Which bring us hope for a better tomorrow, because they have done it before and I believe they can do it again…

I mean I want Christie Brinkley in my mouth…She’s amazing and I can say with confidence, I rarely admit to wanting to bed seniors…if anything over 30 is too old for me….and SI is to thank for that….

Out with the new, in with the old…throwback memories of a better time!

Here she is talking a just SI

TO SEE SOME MORE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Christie Brinkley|SFW

2013

22

Oct

Izabel Goulart is Amazing of the Day

Izabel Goulart is the fittest model Victoria’s Secret failed on, and in a lot of ways I like that she got deported back to Brazil where she takes a lot of selfies of her working out, because I like seeing selfies of bitches working out, it’s better than me working out and it’s far better than me going to the gym to watch bitches working out, because any gym I’ve been to, the chicks working out are the ones who need to be working out and not the ones who already won from working out…if you know what I mean….and if you don’t just look at Izabel..cuz she’s won motherfucker….

Posted in:Izabel Goulart|SFW

2013

21

Oct

Jojo in a Random Bikini Picture of the DAy

I like to think the week, or maybe even life, doesn’t actually begin until you see Jojo, some low level practically non existent singer, who was possibly a one hit wonder in the 90s, or early 2000s….wearing a bikini on a photoshoot like she still matters, or like she’s on some kind of comeback tour, now that she’s pushing 30, no longer jailbait, and possibly running out of money…in a “Let’s give this one more shot” hustle…and the amazing thing is that bikini pics is really all a girl needs to get ahead these days, which brings me hope, because needing actual talent to get noticed would throw everything off…and all these low levels you are into wouldn’t actually exist…and where would that leave us…today…no where good I tell ya….no where good.

Posted in:JoJo|SFW