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Archive for the Shakira Category

2024

26

Mar

Shakira Doing Archery for the Nerds of the Day

I guess Shakira has decided to enter the popstar movement again. I assume she’s another one of these celebrities who say Taylor Swift rock a billion dollar tour, while every other popstar was being lazy, only to reclaim her position as most important pop artist because she’s Spanish speaking and so internationally famous that she gets in trouble for tax evasion….not that you have to be famous for that, if anything being famous helps you tax evade better so that you don’t get caught…so I guess she just manages her shit like an idiot.

Anyway, if Taylor Swift can make a billion dollars, so can Shakira and she’s going to prove it. Her small and humble breasts that you shouldn’t confuse for mountains have apparently released a new pop song.

Not only is she doing some interatcial content, which I think isn’t really interracial when you’re Colombian and raised with all shades of brown, so it’s not some diversity and inclusivity bullshit.

But she is doing the song with Cardi B, so you know she’s desperate for views and also that she’s in her 50s, because she’s in her 50s, and using Cardi B to connect to a new Audience when Cardi B’s boring, vile and forgotten, is really idiotic tactics.

The smart tactics are the use of Archery in some nerdy fetish Comicon looking Fantasy lingerie….because nerds fucking love archery and the chicks in lingerie who do it.

Either way, the near 50 year old Divorcee’s looking alright if you’re into that kind of thing.

I am more interested in escaping this timeline and hoping people find NEW popstars to obsess over instead of these grannies…let these people die off already…

Posted in:Shakira

2024

20

Feb

Shakira in the “Taking a Shit Stance” of the Day

Shakira may not be as disgusting looking as most 55 years old, but that doesn’t mean she’s not 55 years old or that she should behaving like she’s still in her 20s.

If you take a card out of the J.Lo book, you’ll realize that it’s very fucking cringe when listening to a 55 year old use slang like she’s still young, or dancing choreographed hiphop dances like she’s at the fucking club, when really she should be in bed at 9 to curl up to a good book.

So I don’t really like seeing these bitches drop this kind of shit, like they aren’t 55 years old, all because they are motivated after seeing Taylor Swift make 1 billion dollars off her tour, when knowing they are less clunky and put on a better show than her….

Thanks to pop culture’s lack of evolution, we’ve got Katy Perry, J.Lo, Aguilera and a bunch of others pulling out new albums and setting up tours to mooch off the willing to spend fans….

Money Shakira the Tax Evader will definitely Evade Taxes on….

It will be a show that doesn’t involve her shitting on stage like G.G. Allin, but that does involve her in a shitting on stage pose….

Posted in:Shakira

2020

07

Sep

Shakira’s Labor Day Bikini of the Day

I didn’t give a fuck about Shakira or her music during the height of her career, she was always just a whatever to me, regardless of all her latin ass shaking, but now that she’s in her 40s, many years after making her first 100 million dollars, because she’s one of those SUPER fucking famous internationally types, thanks to her hips not lying, or that Mama Africa song for the World Cup….bringing her to shake her old ass with J.Lo during the Superbowl…

But that disinterest in Shakir shifts when the popstar posts a pic like this to her IG to celebrate her custom bikini, which I interpret as regular bikinis don’t fit her ass, the mom, who is based in Spain, and probably not celebrating labor day, because every day is labor day…even when not in labor…but birthing or at least keeping that ass alive all these years when she could have just got fat counts for something…I mean she’s middle aged…


Posted in:Shakira

2020

03

Feb

Shakira Panty Flash for the Superbowl of the Day

Shakira Panty Flash Superbowl 4

All everyone is talking about is how amazing the Super Bowl Half Time show was.

I hate how everyone is saying how hot they were. I realize that some people are confused and felt it was too slutty for family programming….clearly people who have never been on the internet or through their kid’s photos on their phone….where they are spread assed in selfies for their friends at all ages….because it was hardly slutty.

Then there are people who were confused by the Peurto Rican flag, thinking it was the Texas Flag, thinking it was a target on Texas due to their treatment of American born first generation immigrants at the Mexican border…..

Why is everyone freaking out about it? I assume it is because they were two old hags and people are like “that’s what 50 looks like if you’re rich as fuck vain cunt with face injections who works out all fucking day to maintain whatever body it is she has at 50 years old after a few kids”….

Maybe it was for the Nostalgia…like we needed to hear Shakira’s Africa song for the World Cup from what 8-12 years ago…..or Jenny from the Block….from 15 years ago….I mean that’s a long fucking time ago….

I just think it’s another one of these “inclusivity” things, where people feel the need to think it was good because it was for the Latin people, and thus if you say it sucked you’ll have to deal with your racism…despite being a racist…or maybe people are just positive thinkers and figure Super Bowl Half Time performances are always shit, so if there’s a stripper pole included, or some mom pussy flashing…and Shakira showing you how to eat ass in a tongue video…that’s all the substance we need.

I don’t have the answers, I just felt embarrassed for the old hags and felt maybe they shoulda sat it out and let some new blood in, but then I remembered dude to menopause they forget what new blood is.

Shakira Jennifer Lopez Superbowl


Shakira Jennifer Lopez Superbowl

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Posted in:J.Lo|SFW|Shakira

2017

15

May

Shakira New Single of the Day

Shakira released a new sex tape, which is in the form of a music video for the international / Spanish market that created her…and allowed her to have American success with her breasts that are small and humble that she didn’t want you to confuse for mountains….

It’s not an actual Sex Tape but rather a Music video, but her fans are so passionate about her and find her so hot that I think more people will jerk off to this than most porns…she’s just that kind of girl….

Sure she’s a mom, and this isn’t erotic, but she’s one of those loved and celebrated…she let her be loved and celebrated….by trying to jerk off to this…that’s how you are supposed to show all girls they are love and celebrated…but it may get you arrested if you do it when they don’t know who you are and they are sitting on a park bench across from you though

Via CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Shakira|Videos

2017

23

Jan

Shakira in Hispanic Cosmo of the Day

shakira-5

I don’t know when these Shakira pics were taken, I don’t know if they are of a 40 year old, post pregnancy Shakira that are what she currently looks like….I don’t know if they are a 40 year old, post pregnancy Shakira edited down, like they look like they are…there’s no way a 40 year old mom looks like this, but then again she is Colombian and they do rot better…so you never know….I like to think they are pulled from the archives and are just a version of her because she’s fat and eating cake in her castle somewhere…but whatever they are…they feature her bare feet and as someone who knows foot fetishists…and we all know how weird they are…making this better than spread open asshole pics of her….

Posted in:SFW|Shakira

2016

06

Jun

Shakira in a Bikini of the Day

shakira (1)

Even if her breasts are small and humble – she’s still Shakira in a bikini….nothing very exciting to me – but so famous on the international level, especially with the very fucking loyal hispanic community, she’s still masturbated to by more people than anyone should be masturbated to…and it would be negligent of me not to post these for you perverts….even if she’s too old for this kind of behavior…and a mom…but I guess that old rules of who can wear a bikini and who can wear a snowsuit to the beach – have changed as all these old bitches are about the two piece..and it could be worse, these could be pics of Amy Schumer…or other real fats who were never as hot as Shakira is now, even if Shakira now isn’t Shakira 10 years ago – even if that latin skin holds up to the elements…

What the fuck am I saying..I eat 50 year old ass that is actually disgusting on all levels, for all reasons an ass would be deemed disgusting – and Shakira ass busting out of shorts- is good at any age…at least when you’re Shakira…so take it in.

shakira (6)

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Shakira

2016

26

Feb

Shakira Butt Shot of the Day

Shakira - Miami International Airport ~ 24022016_001

This is what Shakira’s ass has become…

This is what Shakira’s ass was….

Or This one…

I guess this is growing up….making babies….depressing for girls…not so depressing for guys since there are always hot 20 year olds down to fuck an old dude to be freaks…that piss off their parents…even when you’re 70 there will be 20 year olds you can buy…with bodies like Shakira has…especially in third world countries…

I guess this patriarchal regime isn’t so bad…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Shakira

2015

12

Oct

Shakira in a Bikini Top of the Day

shakira (5)

Question of the day….

Even if her breasts are small and humble….do they still move mountains?

Or does a decade, at least one kid, well into her 30s…make her small and humble breasts obsolete…

And are her breasts still humble, after years of making stupid fucking money because her Colombian and really all of her latina fan base fucking love her..

So many questions…for answers I don’t even care to hear…but what else am I supposed to write about Shakira being Shakira in Spain for a commercial she’s probably making millions of dollars for since she speaks Spanish…and is thus loved by all Spanish speakers…because they like anything that is their own…ANYTHING…even J.Lo…right.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:SFW|Shakira