Corey Feldman reminds us all that no matter how much of loser you may look like you are, if you have a career as a child star everyone loved 20 years ago, when you dominated the 80s and the teen pop magazines pedophiles jerk off to, you still find some low level, slutty enough, short skirt wearing pussy to give you the time of day, and by time of day I mean dirty fucking sex, because dating you is a hell of a lot more fun than hanging on your co-worker at Subway couch watching him and his friends play videogames and beer pong, cuz you know you’re far more premium than that….whore.
Nothing quite says our society is in a good place like a 16 year old girl in a skirt short enough to show the world her underdeveloped cuz she’s only had her period for a year uterus.
It’s one of those things that is totally disconnected and backwards from the laws we are forced to live under, at least the laws most Americans have to live by, cuz 16 is legal where I am from, because they government realizes that 16 is totally equipped to fuck and in Taylor Momsen’s case, dressed to fuck.
Seriously, this outfit is the kind of shit strippers wore in the 90s. The shit hookers would wear to let you know they were hookers but all of a sudden teenage girls are wearing this shit invented to give dudes boners and the second we try to fuck the shit, or lure them to a park off myspace, we get arrested and in some cased humiliated on TV….
I don’t believe the whole “She’s dressed to get raped” argument, but seriously, if the law lets girls wear this shit, the law can’t make a motherfucker a sex offender for trying to fuck this shit, it just isn’t fair.
Not that Momsen is hot, she looks more like a cartoon character or some kind of muppet but when they are 16, most of the time their overall look doesn’t matter, cuz their tight teen bodies overpower their ugly faces….
Cher and Christina Aguilera are working together on set for something I can only assume gay guys are going to go fucking nuts over, I mean that is if gay guys other that Chazz Bono are still into Cher and her glamorous deep voice…and if they aren’t it still looks like its destined be something I will jerk off to when drunk and questioning my sexuality, cuz sometimes we gotta switch things up a little to see what it is that we really like and I’m assuming when I am done wiping the tears of shame from my eyes, this won’t be one of those things…either way, whatever is going on is weird and I’ll leave it at that cuz I’m hungover and don’t really care…
It is kinda depressing that talented people are the ones who get torn up on the inside and turn to alcoholism and addiction, while garbage like this vapid cunt, think they are living the high road and are too moronic to ever be deperessed or bothered or realzie they are a fucking joke of a person, leading to a long life of minimal accomplishment and lots of money cuz they got to be on TV, while girls like Brittany Murphy, who are actually decent at what they do and actually have an IMDB not worth laughing at, die because of their inner demons. Someone needs to help this idiot realize how irrelevant she is so that one day, she gets torn up on the inside enough to end her life, but I have a feeling she’s too stupid for sadness and will always just coast thru life in this bubble of joy and the whole thing reminds me again that life is unfair.
I have decided that it is not considered illegal to jerk off on 16 year olds or to pictures of a 16 year old as long as you make her tell you that she’s 18, even if you both know that is a lie. I figure it is also not illegal to jerk off to pictures of a 16 year old if she’s out there in the shortest fuckin skirt, practically showing her barely been used, almost new, in mint condition compare to the pussy I’ve seen pussy…
Unfortunately in Taylor Momsen’s heroin addict lookin classified ad, gently used is an understatement, it’s the kind of pussy you go to pick up because you think you’re getting an amazing deal off Craigslist, only to get there and realize the pictures were taken years early, before the shit shared needles with homeless people, died of AIDS and came back to life like it was Return of the Living Dead….
So that means it’s okay to get off to these pics in a legal sense, but not quite okay on a psychological level, since dressing hot doesn’t make bitch hot even if she’s underage which normally lowers my standards a bit because of the excitement I get from their inexperience….
The only thing of value in the shit is that she’s carting around a guitar like she’s some kind of rockstar, maybe the next Courtney Love or Janis Joplin, and I love that kind of obvious teenage angst that can only be represented in song cliche bullshit…It makes me laugh.
I have no idea who Summer Glau is and I really have no idea why I am posting these pictures. I know she’s not in a fucking bikini or in her underwear or flashing her panties, pussy or fucking tities. She’s not even showing a little ass crack. She’s just walking down the fucking street with some dude….and I took the time to upload this shit to my site like it was news….but maybe it was some message from above like some ESP shit, telling me that I need to do this for some reason…maybe cuz she’s gonna be in a horrible accident or become relevant, or maybe it’s just because she was on some shitty TV show that only virgins watched, since I only have virgin readers…unfortunately not the kind of virgins I want to pay to pop…but the kind of virgin who can’t get a job cuz they are too busy polishing their action figures, masturbating and hanging out on the internet in their mom’s basement….
We’ve seen all Katie Price’s vagina has to offer, from a threesome with some dude and a lesbian sex tape to her retarded black baby, I just don’t think there’s much more she can bring, unless she rents her retarded black baby out, but that’s just because I got on a kick earlier this weekend that revolved around having a retard sidekick and using it as the fall guy in any pranks or sexual harrassment you do, you know, grab unsuspecting tits – blame the retard, take a shit on the city bus, blame the retard, it’d be my fuckin’ meal ticket, I just can’t manage to find anywhere you can adopt a retard, because I always see golden opportunity is seemingly defective, discount bargain basement bin things…I’m poor like that.
Here she is flashing some panty, showing off some retarded tits, while makin’ more money than any of us will ever make, yes, it is just that easy….and I find her pretty fuckin’ hot today. Maybe I am just horny…
I always thought Gwen Stefani was disgusting. Maybe it had to do with her ethnic face and bleached hair, but I think it had to do with her jacked body that reminded me of the captain of the track team at my highschool, so seeing her in her little skirt makes me want to throw-up, because I am sure her vagina is vile and not just because it belongs to Bush, but because her jacked body reminds me of the captain of the track team, I know I said that already, but I didn’t say that he was a dude, which he was, and he always annoyed me with stories of fucking the hot chicks in the school, when they wouldn’t even bother giving me the time of day, making me realize that fat never wins, unless it’s a fight against a heart, or a pair of pants that are one size too small, or even in a war against the people sitting next to you on the plane.
I guess one of the good things about 15 year old girls is that they don’t have cellulite like they will when they actually become women, but they are so annoying when all they want to watch is Hannah Montana reruns, especially when they are Hannah Montana.
I don’t find anything appealing about these pictures, other than knowing that bitch is probably the next in line for an abortion at the on studio abortion clinic they are rockin’ over at Disney and this bitch and her crooked smile don’t have shit on the 15 year old girls I see out in clubs dancing on the bar like they were 25 and lookin’ for a one night stand because I was out at a bar this past weekend and this girl with braces walks up to the girl next to me and brags about how she got into the club and didn’t get carded, I turn to her and ask how old she is and she says 13 and runs off to a group of 16 year old dudes who pour Grey Goose down her throat and get her to flash them her panties and I realize that I was born in the wrong generation and Paris Hilton deserves a little more credit that she’s getting for breeding a generation of herpes by 14 that I won’t be a part of because I’m just too damn old and will just have to accept the fact that it’s yet another thing I’ve missed out on in my life which is just another example of how Paris Hilton contributed to my miserable life…..
I’ve decided that Haiti is my kind of country. Not because I am black or because I speak their obscure language, or because I am a taxi driver, but because motherfucker’s are poor and I feel like it’s a place I could feel like Kanye West on my wife’s disability check.
Either way, they recruit a hot washed up model to do charity because she’s only washed up from being caught in the Tsunami and shit killed her boyfriend, it’s pretty obvious that she’s still got it going on in a mail bride kinda way, unlike me, which is why I’d do good in Haiti. I feel like they’d appreciate my work ethic.
I was lookin’ at the pics of Petra Nemcova propped up so everyone could see her hot Eastern European ass pretending to support them, because it’s a good PR move for her celebrity and they are using collapsable chairs as the stage because that’s how classy Haiti is. It’s more ghetto than the shit I used to sit on in AA and broke through because I am fat, or the milk crate I use as a desk, or the box I use as my dinning room table next to my stained mattress I found outside 2 summers ago.
Either way, it’s nice to see her supporting black people with her charity that she started, I am sure more black people will bust nut thinking of her than ever before and there nothing wrong with using your money for good, because I know, if I ever had money, I’d only help myself get more drunk than I already do and on a more regular basis while sitting on a beach surrounded by hookers, but I’m just not a good of a person and karma likes to remind me of that every chance it gets, by never giving me money to get drunk on beaches with hookers….
Here are some pictures of Britney with her Magician boyfriend who she is either keeping close incase her career bombs and she needs to pull a Pam Anderson and rely on being the slut in a Magician act, or because she’s lonely and likes the attention. It’s kinda her thing to let dudes use her to get themselves famous…even when they are magicians and for anyone who knows a Magician, they now the best thing to do is keep them as far away from their kids as possible because anyone with so little social skills that they need props to “wow” a room of 10 year olds, is someone who is probably just as likely to try to hide in the girls locker room of the elementary school to sneak a peak.
I got this email from a reader along with these pics of Spears and her Magic Man and figured I’d throw it up because it’s one of those too good to be true situations that I’ve never had because I suck at life and never get any breaks….
Subject: Sleazebag Christmas of the day
Here I was engaged in my usual 5pm routine of drinking cheap, shitty beer and wishing I was any other place besides sitting in front of my computer, when someone knocked on my door.
Reluctantly I got up, a little nervous about the fact that there was still a pretty thick cloud of chronic smoke in front of the door to my filthy, stinking, rathole apartment. Stealthfully, like a drunken ninja, I checked the peephole to see a strange looking guy holding two bottles of liquor. Seems legit to me.
So I opened the door and it turns out the dude is my new next door neighbor, offering to sell me a freshly thieved fifth of Jack for 5 bucks. Now I don’t know where you live, but here in Albuquerque, a bottle of Jack will run you about 20 bucks. WeÃre talking cheap ass liquor here, people. So IÃm fucking stoked. I nabbed the bottle and retreated into my cave to down a couple of shots. Yeah, pretty ghetto. But you gotta understand I live in a shitty-ass section 8 ex-PJ turned wannabe legit apartment complex. Just check out the fabulous google reviews: Copper Ridge Apartments
So naturally the next order of business is a cigarette back outside on my porch. The neighbor girl opens up her door and comes out, telling me she’s about to move and that sheÃs stopped taking her meds. I try to contain myself but instinctively I ask if she’s got anything she doesn’t want anymore. She’s like “oh yeah, hold on” and goes back into her apartment and produces two bottles of pills Ã± Valium and Ambien. Free of charge, folks. Truly, a Sleazebag Christmas in September…
I’m including these pictures of Britney and Cris Angel here because Britney, when Cris was busy magically cajooling underaged girls with tricks, he probably lived in an even bigger shit hole that I do.
As you sit at home practicing your card tricks because it’s your last hope in having any form of social interaction and the hope of possibly impressing a girl enough to have her bang you, I am going to post these pics cuz Britney has a short skirt on and with a short skirt comes endless possibilities beyond just airing out her stank vadge, and since I have no standards, I’d totally do her….