I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the Shorts Category

2010

03

May

Pam Anderson Frees the Birds in White Shorts of the Day

Pamela Anderson is brave. Not only does she still have the confidence to leave her house despite the world knowing she’s nothing but a dirty, diseased whore…Not only does she get herself on bottom feeding TV shows and goes to events and still lives in California trying to get work…..but she also still wears little white shorts like her cervix doesn’t dircharge horrible colored and smelling muscus that stains fucking white pants….like any girl who happened to get her period in a pair of white pants…it’s horrifying…and the only justification for this is that when she got her latest set of implants, she got her vagina sewed the fuck up or maybe she’s just got a few pairs of waterproof panties or that she’s shoved a role of gauze up there to prevent and Mexican Oil Spill caliber leaks….

Here she is doing some bullshit for PETA saving a bird cuz she’s vegan and needs something she thinks is important to associate herself with….cuz being a part of something make you feel less alone even if they are just using her for her celebrity….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Pam Anderson|Shorts

2010

22

Apr

Meagan Good Shows Off Her Ass in Shorts of the Day

I still don’t know who Meagan Good is, but I figure that as long as she’s dressed like a hooker in Pretty Woman, I’ll notice her. Not necessarily because she’s hot, but because the era when Pretty Woman hit gave me re-vamped hope that my broke ass would fine love on the street, unfortunately leading to some pretty miserable, abusive, dirty smelling adventures, because street whores don’t actually want designer clothes, they want fucking crack.

I’ll also notice her cuz she’s black and I like to channel women of colored, not necessarily because I have slave/plantation owner from the 1800 fantasies, but because black girls hate me and my small dick and it makes me want them….I guess you’d say I have jungle fever because the jungle has always told me I can’t get past the gates…I haven’t even had a blowjob from a black chick cuz even the black street hookers turn me down…it’s like I’ve got some blackness repellant that I don’t know how to get rid of but I do know that I’m missing out…

So little shorts, whore boots and working your ass for a camera is always a good look, unless you’re a man, in which case it is massively gay….unfortunately Meagan Good’s ass isn’t that interesting, but her tattoos and style are ghetto enough for me to remember my back alley encounters on the street….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Ass|Gutter Whore|Meagan Good|Shorts

2010

21

Apr

Sienna Miller in Shorts of the Day

We’ve all seen Sienna Miller’s hipster “UK Fashion Scene” bush in various movie roles. We’ve also seen her hot tits. We’ve seen her destroy marriages and we’ve seen her living the party life with a wide array of cock….We’ve also seen her fade into obscurity. We’ve seen the world stop caring about her…and we’ve seen that she’s actually a dirty ratty lookin’ bitch and not actually hot…and now we’re seeing her in jean shorts with Jude Law, because I guess they are the perfect couple for each other and understand each other because they both have the same stupid accent and they both made it in America according to what America thinks making it in America is….and who the fuck really cares…apparently I do because I just wrote this…but I shouldn’t and either should you…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Shorts|Sienna Miller

2010

12

Apr

Anna Friel in Some Little Shorts of the Day

I am down with short shorts – I am not so down with weird looking faces – but I can see past that when the bitch with the weird looking face is in short shorts. Just last night I was dying of a hangover on a park bench and this group of young, long legged girls who decided to start working on their bikini bodies in short shorts walked by, I have no idea what their faces looked like, or even if they had an upper body, but I could sketch every line and curve of their asses.

I don’t know who this bitch is, but the shorts made her good enough for me….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Anna Friel|Shorts

2010

07

Apr

Rachel Bilson Pumps Gas of the Day

I have a feeling that part of Rachel Bilson wants to turn that gas pump on herself, shove in it her pussy and light the shit on fire as a punishment for commiting herself to that loser from Star Wars who has kidnapped and brainwashed her, forcing her to have no fun and in turn the scars would force him to have no fun, cuz a wife with a burnt up pussy is a wife who doesn’t like getting fucked….

I have a feeling she’s breaking free from his wrath and is slowly giving into her slut instinct by trying to wear hoisery….she just needs to loose the stupid shorts…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Rachel Bilson|Shorts

2010

05

Apr

Beyonce Shows Off Her Ugly Legs of the Day

Jay-Z goes to be at night knowing that he is Jay-Z, one of the biggest and most successful people in rap music, but yet he still wakes up next to Beyonce, a bitch he must have married on a whim, cuz he thought she was this talented, super famous black chick who wasn’t using him for his money, before realizing he was involved with a cunt princess diva who can’t wipe her own ass, when he could have just ended up with a groupie bitch who was far hotter, far more loyal, and willing to do anything and everything he wants her too, because no only is she hooked on him, but also hooked onto the lifestyle he provides and won’t fuck that up for anything. He’d have a hell of a lot less headaches….but since I don’t trust anything in entertainment, I can only assume their relationship is strictly for PR. Hollywood is all lies…..

But what isn’t a lie, is that I hate Beyonce. She looks like a cunt and she has a cunt I am not into wanting to fuck and seeing her in her little shorts reminds me of how she’s got nothing hot about her…probably the same reason all her fans are girls or homos….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Beyonce|Legs|Shorts

2010

24

Mar

Christina Aguilera is a Cocktease in Shorts of the Day

Christina Aguilera is a cocktease. Not only did she get married young and have a baby young, killing our fantasies early on, before she got old and tired and we had no choice by to kill our fantasies ourselves, in some kind of jerking off suicide…but also in releasing her new single…from her new album….

On Her Website she was advertising a new song was going to drop and there was a countdown…when the countdown hit zero…they released the lyrics to the fucking song…and no song…that’s some bait and switch shit if I’ve ever seen one…What the fuck can you do with lyrics..but I guess it involves her fans spending the next 20 hours trying to figure out the melody of the song on their own or some shit and posting it on youtube or some shit…

Now, I’m not a fan of much other than her tits and the fact that I thought I’d bang her at least once before I die, but that marketing lie would seriously piss me off…If I was sitting here at the computer waiting for the, you can’t fucking trick me like that…It reminds me of when girls promise me nudes and send me a pic of a naked old lady after I invest hours in making them feel pretty…and that makes me fucking angry….

Here are some pics of her with stupid hair and a stupid outfit showing off some leg….and in 20 hours we can all cry masturbating to her angelic voice in shitty pop song format again…good times…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Shorts

2010

23

Mar

Audrina Patridge in a Hot Outfit of the Day

Audrina’s got a great body…Sure, it looks better when she’s photoshopped, but then again who doesn’t look better when their retard face is made to look normal and her legs are made to look long and luxurious. I can only assume it’s got something to do with evolution, you know how the stupid dogs in the dog park are always the biggest and strongest, while the smart ones can survive using their intelligence, the idiot ones rely on their ability to run fast, because based on Audrina’s body, she could run away from oncoming traffic if she happened to step into the shit, where as someone like me doesn’t know how to run, but would never get myself in the situation in the first place. That’s not to say I’m smart, but it is to say I’m fat and I’m pretty good at staying that way…but who cares about me…here are pics of Audrina in what might be the hottest picture of the day…and one I can only hope carries into the lives of everyday girls….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Belly|Shorts|Tits

2010

22

Mar

Jessica Alba in Some Shorts of the Day

Jessica Alba has the ablility to make short demin shorts boring as fuck because making things boring seems to be her mission in life. It’s like we all want to see the bitch naked, even after her pregnancy, but we can’t manage sitting through the shitty movies, or go through the shitty pictures that make up her life….she always looks miserable and I guess it all stems from being the “hot chick” who doesn’t want to be the “hot chick” until she realizes she has no fucking money and has to go back to work and will be forced to realize that her only talent she has is that her mexican pussy can trap men, and she’ll be thrown back into a fuckin’ bikini where she was meant to be before she went of course thanks the love…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Jessica Alba|Shorts

2010

19

Mar

Britney Spears is Looking Unstable in Shorts of the Day

Britney Spears was out shopping in a ridiculous outfit and I don’t think she was wearing a bra, because her nipples that are positioned great for midgets to suck on, seem to be exposed, but I’m too lazy to look, I just figure anyone dressed like a court jesters is about to lose her fucking shit again and the whole world will get another Britney Spears media takeover…I figured she’s already shaved her head for us, maybe this time she’ll shave her pussy in some manic rage for us, but I guess that’s just wishful thinking and the liklihood of her next episode being hot is really unlikely and I’ve got my money on her taking a shit in public, jumping off a bridge, or something equally funny but not so easy to jerk off to, but then again, since bitch turned 18 she hasn’t been so easy to jerk off to….

Either way, here are some pics of her lookin like she’s a bout to blow the fuck up in some wild bloomers you’d expect to find on your grandmother back in 1890…something that may bring back fond memories of childhood masturbation…if you’re 70.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Britney Spears|Legs|Shorts

2010

17

Mar

Pamela Anderson’s Old Vagina Eats Her White Shorts of the Day

Pam Anderson likes taking risks, but I guess everyone already knows that from the whole Hep C infection and her career as a half naked whore with stupid fake, but I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about the fact that she’s wearing a pair of white shorts, despite the fact that her pussy has a mind of its own and can throw up various colored discharge at any given time, that will stain, especially when her fucking cunt starts trying to eat her fucking shorts like it is in this picture…Just ask any 14 year old girl who hasn’t got her period yet how often she wears white pants to highschool…

I think she’s boring and expired. Played out and over…but I guess she’s still hanging onto her fame as hard as she can with her implants…but I guess it won’t be too long before her liver gives out on her forcing us to move the fuck on, because everytime I do a post on her I am one post closer to jumping out of my fucking window. Sure. I live on the groundfloor, I’m not ready to die, but that doesn’t change the fact that this hag is irritating….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bra|Cameltoe|Pamela Anderson|See Thru|Shorts

2010

22

Feb

Hilary Duff’s Engaged and Wearing Little Shorts of the Day

Engaged, Fatter, loser with stupid hair, who dresses like the good days of team initiation aka the sexual peak of his life, where broom’s in his ass were reality and not just something he jerks off to.

I don’t really keep up on Hilary Duff news, since I cancelled my membership to her fan club when she turned 18, or as I like to call it, irrelevant. I do know that she’s a little fatter, a lot more used up and apparently engaged to be married to some asshole hockey player that has turned her into the puck slut that gets passed around the locker room that she always wanted to be. Hey, this is team sports and nothing gets between the team, unless it’s a willing slut who doesn’t mind a dick in her mouth, ass and hands, while the rest of the guys are jerking off to the performance, but that’s all for team building and you know what, Hilary Duff was born for this……

Either way, her future husband’s a fucking joke with stupid hair who I guess is ready to claim her as his own, since the good days of team initiation, also knows as his sexual peak, where brooms in his ass were reality and not just something he jerks off to, is over and it’s time to settle the fuck down….

I’m diggin’ her little shorts and swollen, possibly pregnant or just on her period, or just wearing a good bra tits, cuz I guess whenever a girl locks herself down, she likes to cocktease the world to feel like she’s still got it, and I am not complaining, cuz that would be gay….

Here she is simulating sucking his dick, because sometimes, at least the first week after proposing to a bitch, that level of committment is all she needs to be willing to suck dick like when you first started dating, but that ends fast enough…until the same thing happens the first week of marriage…until that ends too….So proposing makes for good sex, but it’s a short term solution, as they all turn fat and ugly which is around the time of their sexual peak….conveniently located in a time you don’t want to have sex with them anymore….

Pics via Bauer
Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Hilary Duff|Shorts

2010

29

Jan

Mila Jovovich Is Not Wearing Pants of the day

Mila Jovovich is playing with fire by wearing these shorts because she just had a kid recently and she’s at serious risk for her flappy beat up new mom vagina lip to fall out of those shorts…but unfortunately for us that didn’t happen, but what did happen is that she gave us a glimpse of the Russian mail order bride we all fell in love with 10 years ago….not that I was ever that much of a fan because I always thought she looked like a little boy…but a lot of other people were and that’s what matters.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Legs|Mila Jovovich|Shorts

2009

29

Dec

Pixie Lott Showing Off Leg in Some Gay Biker Shorts of the Day

I don’t know who Pixie Lott is but apparently she’s got legs and wears leather shorts like some kind of gay biker ready to rape me in a back alley when I accidentally walk into the wrong bar in the wrong part of town….not that gay bikers really find me all that pretty…but if you get a gay biker on a bad day…it doesn’t really matter how unattractive you are…they just have the taste for ass no matter who that ass belongs to…it’s really a lot like prison….so I guess Pixie Lott brings out a lot of dark memories for me and I should hate her for that…which I guess I do….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Leg|Pixie Lott|Shorts

2009

23

Nov

Amber Valetta Crawling in Short Shorts for Gamer of the Day

I have no idea what this raver shit is because I don’t really go out of my way to watch a movies called Gamer, especially when they aren’t in theaters yet, but in one of those never judge a book by its cover, shit looks fucking hysterical…..Amber Valetta is some model I’ve never heard of but who has a nice ass and this bitch is wearing a pair of little silver underwear and getting her pussy grabbed by some dude wearing a pig nose, then she’s walking around in a pair of serious ass exposing boy shorts where she crawls around on all fours before a motherfucker starts humping her leg and the whole thing is genius…..and that’s all I have to say about that….

Posted in:Amber Valetta|Ass|Crawling|Shorts