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Archive for the Simon Cowell Category

2017

15

Dec

Simon Cowell’s Beard Lauren Silverman Nipples of the Day

Simon Cowell's wife Lauren Silverman has Hard nipples in a green one piece swimsuit

Simon Cowell’s Jewish baby momma, or wife, or girl he fucks or at least fucked once – likely imagining Seacrest’s tight man pussy while busting deep inside her 65 year old body – before knocking her up thanks to fertility drugs, or an enterprising Jewish woman’s ability to figure out a solid retirement plan, because the God complex rich kid Cowell, who is clearly on some level of Narcissist, there’s no way this motherfucker doesn’t jerk off to himself in the mirror, is rich as fuck…and that, coupled with fame will make any Silverman, Silverstein, Silver, swoon in her one piece with her big Jewish titties out, to distract from the fact she’s built like BUBBY…

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Posted in:SFW|Simon Cowell

2014

03

Jan

Simon Cowell’s Bikini Clad Groupies of the Day

Simon Cowell is getting bombard by 16 year old girls…in their bikinis…with their fat asses that we can blame on a western diet and hormones in the food that will leave them 600 pounds and too tired to move in 10 years…all because McDonalds is legal and advertised while Marijuana and other harmless things aren’t….and he’s looking far too happy to be getting this young girl attention in the rich resort in Barbados he hangs at…making me wonder if he’s the kind of sex tourism UK pedo that have been around for generations…kinda making his whole debut in the industry with the Teletubbies and American Idol, clearly younger audiences arouse him and his bank account…

Pervert.

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Posted in:Simon Cowell

2012

12

Jan

Simon Cowell’s Pussy in a Bikini on his Yacht of the Day

Simon Cowell like any self respecting billionaire has found himself a botoxed faced, fake titty, money grubbing cunt who appreciates being waited on and served, while laying out on the deck of his 100,000,000 dollar boat, like the lazy pig who uses her pussy to get her this life of luxury….

Her name is Zeta Graff, she’s 43 and she’s an actress who played an alien in Fifth Element, a gig 8 strippers were offered before her….and she has actually done this gold digging before, only it was diamond digger, cuz her ex husband who she got 20,000,000 dollars out of was a Jewellery Heir named Francois Graff, a name she kept because it gets her better service at the country club, or when making dinner reservations….this is her gold digging street hustle…like a common prostitute but more luxurious…

I know she looks like a high maintenance pile of shit, laying there taking in all the pampering, but the truth is she’s hard at work strategizing, thinking to herself “Laugh at his jokes, inflate his ego, don’t be too easy or accommodating, offer a bit of a challenge, guys like this like challenges, that’s why he’s so rich, but don’t be too challenging that he gets bored of me, most importantly, stop birth control, tell him my tubes are tied, get knocked up, pressure him to marry me, so I’ll be set for life”…sluts….

Posted in:Simon Cowell

2011

26

Dec

Simon Cowell Gets Bajan Rihanna Wannabe Bitches of the Day

I wonder how many of the hottest Bajan bitches wait for the week Simon Cowell come’s visit his house…only to parade around like this for the motherfucker in hopes he makes a Rihanna out of them….cuz you know if Rihanna can do it with her shitty body and minimal talent with Jay-Z….these bitches can do it better….So they do the only thing they know how….stalk him hard, approach him, fuck him if he’s not too busy with Seacrest inside him, and hope for the best…luckily the paparazzi documented it because without seeing this…we’d all be worse off or maybe it’s the other way around….and this is useless information that none of us ever need to know….but I do know if you go to Barbados you need to pretend to be a record exect….but unfortunately, Bajan women don’t ever look like this…making this whole post a waste of time….pretty much like every post before it…that’s my life work. Deal with it…

Posted in:Simon Cowell

2010

09

Aug

Simon Cowell’s Gold Digger in her Bikini of the Day

I like breaking up marriages….but posting bullshit on a site no one reads really don’t have the same effect as fucking a bitch on video and leaving the tape in the VCR like you’re a Justin Timberlake music video….

So here’s Simon Cowell’s gold digger and I guess she’s got a pretty hot body, one that you wouldn’t mind locking yourself into, especially since you know she is hungry for the good life, so she lets you fuck other girls and do whatever the fuck you want, cuz you can provide it….

I figure every billionaire 45 year old reaches the point in his life where he’s just fucked one too many whores, and he’s ready to settle down and have kids and since all whores are the same, you migour lifestyle, cuz that way you always have the upperhand….kinda like when I used to fuck teenage runaways with daddy issues and no where to sleep, I pretty much had my pickings and could do whatever the fuck I wanted cuz they were too high and disconnected to really care, but I like to feel like I was ballin’ and they were trying to ride my lifestyle, you know so I can relate….

I just wonder what Simon’s intentions are. He’s kinda gay and into himself and before seducing Simon with her tight body and fake tits…she was making 60,000 dollars a year putting make-up on the motherfucker, something his metrosexual ass is more into than he is into her pussy….not that I really care about Simon, but based on this long winded post about nothing, you’d think I did and that’s something I gotta work on….

Posted in:Simon Cowell

2010

06

Aug

Simon Cowell’s Gold Digger’s Ass in a Bikini of the Day

This bitch has won the lottery. All she has to do to collect is put up with Simon Cowell and make the motherfucker think she is real down with everything he does, stroking his ego properly, using her American Idol make-up artist skills to make dude feel pretty, you know giving him constant blowjobs, and sucking up to him almost hypnotizing him into thinking this is something his self-involved self could stick with forever, so that he marries her officially…cuz we all know she got into celebrity make-up artistry to meet celebrities, land one, and hopefully get him to commit so that she lives the good life and I am sure Cowell isn’t her first run with someone rich and famous, he just happens to be the richest and the only one dumb enough to marry the social climbing, gold digging, whore.

There are a few rules I’ve learned in fucking whores. The first is that no matter how good they are at manipulating you into getting repeat business, never exclusively go to them, cuz the second you are sucked the fuck in, they own your fucking ass and you might as well just take off your condom and sign over your life to her…only to get broken 6 months down the line when you catch her doing the same thing to someone else, cuz it’s all she knows.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Simon Cowell

2009

09

Sep

X-Factor Awkward Boner of the Day

I have no idea what the fuck is going on here. People are saying dude got a boner on X-Factor and as someone with a small dick, I don’t really see how this is a boner, I have a feeling it’s more of a colostomy bag or some shit because motherfucker has some kind of fucking disease and this is his make a wish foundation dream and the whole mocking him about the shit is actually just cruel, but you can tell Simon Cowell is wishing it is actually a dick or a boner, and not some kind of swollen ball or medical equipment, cuz it turns him on more than Ryan Seacrest does….

Either way I am slow on this shit, and it’s pretty obvious he’s the next Susan Boyle….

Posted in:Gay|Simon Cowell|X-Factor

2009

20

Jul

Simon Cowell Gets a 100,000,000 Dollar Lap Dance of the Day

Guess what happens when you close a hundred million dollar deal with American Idol to add to your already insane level of success you have experienced the last 10 years…you get groupie gold diggin’ bitches who convince themselves that you are hot shit because they want a record deal and an exit strategy from their shitty broke ass lives and figure you look better than the billionaire Anna Nicole Smith prostituted herself to, because they’ve seen you on TV and they like that you’re an asshole with a horrible fake tan and that’s enough to make any pussy quiver with excitement the second they meet you in person, at least enough to give you a lap dance in the middle of a club because I guess all girls are wallet fuckin’ whores and if she fucks you the best she’s ever fucked, she thinks she won’t get voted off this week and will make it to LA. Get it, that was an American Idol joke. I’m pretty clever. Admit it.

Posted in:Groupie|Simon Cowell|Slut|Whore

2009

06

Mar

Ryan Seacrest Lookin’ Good of the Day

I’ve been saying how dreamy Ryan Seacrest is for a long fucking time, but nobody believes me. They just pass it off as a joke, or as me having issues with my sexuality, when in reality, that’s not the fucking case at all, dude is just a fucking miracle worker, who is involed in pretty much everything and looks fucking incredible, fit and alert when doing it. It’s like where does this guy find the time to sleep, get his hair done, shit and even jerk off in his busy fucking life, and while taking over the world is always fluffy, nice, and a bit of a fucking suck up.

Now, I’ve got proof of how good motherfucker is at workin’ miracles, because here he is on a date with his boyfriend Simon Cowell and nobody can tell it’s him behind that purple number, because he is amazing. What I wouldn’t give to sniff a pair of his dirty panties…

Here they are in video….

Posted in:Ryan Seacrest|Simon Cowell

2009

14

Jan

Simon Cowell is Still Making Bank Off American Idol of the Day

The thing that surprises me most about this whole American Idol shit is that the public still isn’t bored of it. I get bored of everything in my life, from my wife, to fucking the same hooker, to taking shits and drinking, but for some reason the rest of the world is just sitting there waiting to die or some shit, because they find comfort in this groundhog day shit and sitting through the same garbage year after year until it all ends….

To switch things up, they let a girl in a bikini on the show, a girl who realizes that being a slut gets attention and proving that she’s right by letting her go onto Hhollywood, made a big deal out of it and here’s the video. They also introduced Paula Abdul’s replacement and Ryan Seacrest got some action from some girl. Something his boyfriend will be pretty disappointed in.

Here are some pics of Simon out on vacation because all this shit you’re watching is pre-recorded and has made him a lot of fucking money, which is the main reason he keeps coming back for more of the same shit. He’s hustlin’ pussy on his jet ski, which is pretty much like being in a motorcycle gang of the sea, only instead of being cool in your leather, drunk and beating up hookers in stripclubs, you wear topsiders and khakis and buy the gold diggin’ whore you’re trying to impress expensive martinis at the the country club. Assholes.

Posted in:American Idol|Bikini Audition|Seacrest|Simon Cowell|Slut