If you are an aspiring model, I suggest you take this bitch’s lead and befriend one of the richest and most successful fashion designers around…. and fuck him….cuz taking old dick isn’t so bad when you can justify it by all the upside you get by doing it….and really Armani’s old and not in it for love, he’s just looking to have a good time, have a little arm candy, and smell a fresh young pussy cuz he knows that never goes out of style, and that as long as you have money and power, it’s really not too challenging to make happen, cuz girls are whores and usually drop all morals and values when it comes to personal gain….and here he is doin’ the Hefner.
I’m not digging Taylor Momsen. Not because she’s under 18 and that would be illegal in most states, but because she’s got a pretty fucking scary looking face that doesn’t really excite me, but kinda makes me want to throw stale bread at her in the park, cuz she’s got some kind of hungry, pre-mature, scraggly bird in the ghetto park feel to her. I am however digging her “Hosiery”. I’ve never been one with a pantyhose fetish. I’ve always hated burlesque and throwback pin-up girls, I’ve never tried to dress my wife up like a stripper from the 50, or a sex scene from an 80s movie, I was always just more into pussy, and the other shit was just distraction, but I’ve been walking down the street a lot the last few weeks because my wife locks me out some days, and I’ve actually seen bitches in shorts, or skirt rockin’ the garter belt, and the thigh highs, and I’m starting to really like the shit out of the bedroom and in the fucking public….So despite Taylor Momsen being skinny the way I like my bitches, today’s post is not to celebrate that about her and remind the fat girls reading that if they cut out 500 calories a day, they will lose a pound a week and 52 pounds in a year, but to remind all girls to put on the pantyhose like a secretary in the 70s, so that I have more reason to live while on the streets. Thanks in advance. Cunt.
I guess it’s safe to say that the Fat Victoria’s Secret model has been put on suspension, because I am pretty sure walking around with a bag that isn’t a Victoria’s Secret bag is in the Victoria’s Secret contract next to we will never see your family if you don’t give us your fucking life…..and because she’s not as fat as she was when they were giving her warning to stop eating and she pretended it was a thyroid problem, which it probably was if a thyroid problem is code of eating as much donuts as I can in one sitting….but she still looks a lot like a monster and sometimes that’s not a bad thing like when you’re walking down dark alleys and come across 4 black dudes in baggy pants, or on halloween when you don’t feel like dressing up.
I love my bitches skinny. I think with this whole obesity outbreak in America is disgusting as fuck and seeing a girl with an old school eating disorder, and not the kind of eating disorder my wife has that leaves the buffet owner crying in the corner after she wipes him out of fried chicken, but the kind of eating disorder where a bitch is lightheaded, dizzy with terrible breath and rotting teeth from when girls starve themselves or make themselves puke, is fucking hot…cuz not only are they too weak to run away from you, but they are also fun to get naked…while fat chicks like my wife are only good for paying your fucking rent cuz they are too scared you’ll leave them at a time in their life that they know no one else would ever step up and takeover the role of “cock giver”….so girls like Nadine Coyle and her weight loss needs to be celebrated
One of my favorite things in life is eating disorders. It’s just something that really fires me up and turns me on. Maybe it’s because I am married to a fat chick and it is miserable even if every burger she eats is a burger closer to death, because fat chicks smell, are uncomfortable to sit next to on a bus or even on the couch, partially because of the heavy breathing but because you have to look at them and accept that this is what your life has become, so whenever I see a curvy bitch shaped the fuck up and slimmed the fuck down, no matter how extreme they went to get there, or how they may have gone too far, it drives me bananas…so fat chicks, take a lesson from this Nadine Coyle UK Popstar bitch, because before she got this skinny, she wasn’t even that fat, but I guess curvy enough for hollywood standards, and blogs probably ripped into her and lowered her self esteem enough to bring her to this amazing weight, proving yet again that making fun of bitches pays off in the end for all of us, except maybe them, especially when they die of cardiac arrest from not eating…..but that’s just a small price to pay for hotness…
I like skinny bitches as much as the next guy who is stuck with a fat fucking wife for the last 10 years of his life, where seeing her take a bite out of any food, even apples and oranges makes you want to throw the fuck up and sure Whitney Port will be forgotten in the next year when The Hills is finally put to rest, and I know she isn’t hot, but skinny daddy long legs like this will come in handy for her when she’s either working the pole to pay her rent, or working some rich dude’s pole to maintain her lifestyle as the Hollywood nobody she’s become….both require the same level of prostituting herself, which lucky for her takes less prostituting than it took to attach herself to The Hills….or what I like to call The Peak of Her Career and Celebrity.
I used my only relevant Taylor Momsen joke last week when I said she has no talent today and that she had no talent signing in The Grinch movie she was in 10 years ago when she was 5, making her pretty much a bullshit celebrity with no talent but really persistant parents lookin’ for a retirement plan of something they didn’t abort…not that it matters…she is only 16 so a slut phase, which is clearly already in the works and a drug and party phase is totally in her cards and I’ll be more than happy to watch her fall into the gutter as all her inner demons come screaming out, the only thing that sucks about all this is that she’s not very cute, she awkward and skinny with a retarded face….just has long skinny legs that she likes to show off and decorate like some kind of Christmas tree and I hope for us that puberty fills her out a little or that she uses some gossip girl money on a set of tits like a common whore I am hoping she becomes…
If you can jerk off to this, you can jerk off to anything and your resistance to the elements and ability to perform is something I commend and think should be celebrated instead of frowned. Thanks to the Internet, we live in a generation of freaks. There was a time when people could jerk off to lingerie catalogs, pictures of women in bikinis, Baywatch, National Geographic and even sniffing a pair of our sisters dirty panties. We didn’t need bondage or scat or violence or simulated rape or porn with girls in braces or porn with girls who are sleeping or porn with girls who pretend to be bleeding virgins or any of the other shit that is out there, so it’s nice to know someone out there can get off to the simple things in life, like a skinny bitch in a fat world, just walking down the street with her skinny legs in skinny jeans..even if she’s not all that hot and named after the worst month of the year….
The funny picture about Mickey Rourke in these pictures is that he wants to look like he’s all rock and roll, you know with his whole weathered drug addict who was in a meth lab fire face, giving the finger to the paparazzi, while knowing that the paparazzi are his friends and the only reason this hot pussy with big feet is walking in public with him, if there was no celebrity and there was no fame, and he wasn’t in the movies and wasn’t nominated for an Oscar, he’d just be some weird lookin’ dude on the street that a bitch like this would probably not bother throwing money at, because she’d be too scared he’d back alley rape her, so it is safe to say she’s with him because we all have dreams and sometimes letting Mickey Rourke inside of you is a means to an end or some shit….
Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr was out working, if you can really consider this work, considering it looks more like a bitch sittin gon the beach having pictures taken of her, something I’m pretty sure we’d all be willing to do if it meant getting the fuck away for a week, if anything it is the shit we try to save 1000 dollars for, and by we, I mean you, because I’ve never really been on vacation and if I had 1000 dollars, it wouldn’t be spent on trips to beaches, but instead on trips to the local brothel and drug dealer, but that’s not really worth dreaming about, because I don’t even remember the last time I had 1000 dollars to my name, but I think it was when I was 14 after spending a month working for some rich man on his garden, if you know what I mean…..and if you don’t, I mean I was a child hooker, much like a child star but far less rewarding and harder to walk.
Here’s some shitty pictures you’d think were taken by a paparazzi in a tree, that remind me of pictures I’ve taken with my camera phone while trying to peep on girls, whether by taking upskirt pics on the bus or in the mall, or more ambitious pics of them changing in their apartments after climbing fire escapes or from hotel rooms across the street from their apartments are after following them home one night and realizing that’s the best vantage point for a peeping tom. What you can see is her part of her skinny little upper body in a bikini top, and in the peeping tom world, that’s considered good enough to get hard over, because nudity is the gold, but all variations of it are still of value….I don’t know what I am talking about, just look at Miranda Kerr.
Ashlee Simpson’s back on the scene and she’s looking pretty fucking skinng and I guess the only real damage from making a deal with the devil in order to have the love of her life, a homosexual singer named Pete Wentz, knock her up is that she’s slowly turning into a bird, that or her nosejob nose is just more pronounced now that she’s stopped eating, one of the many tricks she’s busted out in hopes of seducing Wentz because he constantly turns her down when she comes on to him and always needs to come up with a solid excuse to lower her self esteem enough so that she stops putting him in that awkward position. You know, in the beginning it was that her nose was too big, so she developed a complex and got it fixed, then it was that she was pregnant from turning his gay-sex condoms inside out and fucking herself with them to lock him in, so she gave birth, than it was that she was too fat and disgusting since the baby, so she starved herself and started working out, and even that wasn’t good enough to get him hard, so while he’s at home thinking of his next excuse to turn down sex, she’s out wearing revealing clothes to get some male attention…any male attention because she is so deprived at home.
The good thing about girls getting knocked up when they are young is that they bounce back a hell of a lot better than my wife did. I guess it could have something to do with the fact that these bitches have hired help to pretty much do every single thing in the house and for the kid while they just sit around talking about her husbands homosexuality or whatever the fuck they talk about and here she is making an appearace because I guess she’s ready to work again.
I was never a huge Ashlee Simpson fan, if anything she was the awkward, ugly talentless sister I’d want to fuck to get to the hotter older sister and I am definitely not a fan of her showing off the panties Pete Wentz wore the night they got pregnant, or even the vagina Pete Wentz had to artificially inseminate in the bathroom with a turkey baster and his boytoy’s mouth full of his cum keeping it room temperature so the sperm don’t die, but I will say she looks pretty much better than ever, thanks to 3 years of being with a fag who won’t fuck her but will stand next to the treadmill encouraging her to become hot, because straight boys are his favorite kind of boy to fuck…..if you know what I mean…
I didn’t expect the pictures of Tori Spelling in a bikini to be all that hot, I mean she is a Jewish girl afterall, and Jewish girls tend to have wonky heads, probably because of generations of inbreeding, unfortunately for Tori, she’s also got pretty wonky fuckin’ tits, probably because of a early 90s boob job her dad got her for her 16th birthday because she was born and raised in LA the pressure of being beautiful that was put on her by her trashy, superficial mother, when she wasn’t too busy drunk, medicated or fuckin the pool boy, made her feel like it was the only way, to counter balance her weird Jew face they couldn’t do much about, since face transplants weren’t technologically developed at the time, but the good news is that she’s rich. The other good news is that she’s not fat. So at least she’s got something goin’ for her….
I love this security guard in this video, maybe it’s because I hate the paparazzi, but it’s probably because the dude is cool. He’s telling the scummy paparazzi to fuck off and when they tell him he’s taking his job too seriously, he keeps telling them to fuck off.
There’s no way you or anyone can really respect the asshole paparazzi with their cameras, sure I use their pictures all the time, but that doesn’t mean I think they are good at taking pictures or that I think shit is an honorable career, they are fucking theifs who try to rip everyone off with their shitty pictures and insane prices and they even killed Princess Diana.
Either way, I was walking my dog and he made friends with this emo kid. I’m talking skinny jeans, funny mohawk, artist t-shirt, who was probably in his early 20s. I was thinking to myself that shit is way too androngynous nowadays, like that dude really looks like a girl and when I asked his name and he told me it was Melanie, I still didn’t catch on to the fact that I was talking to a fuckin’ girl. I only realized while walking away what I just experienced and I am still confused about the whole thing.
Here are some pictures of a sexy Lohan sunglass shopping. People say she’s too skinny, but let me remind you, there is no such thing as too skinny, there is however such thing as too fat and unfortunately, I’m sitting next to her right now….
BONUS – Don’t pay any attention to Ali Lohan’s tight little shorts cameltoe, girl’s only 15 dude….I’m in Canada…14 is Legal…Not that I’d ever do a 14 year old…I’m just saying, we may not get Hulu, but we do get prime teen pussy….right….