Here are some pictures of an old, tired, pregnant, popstar at some lingerie at some event and I guess this is my indirect way of celebrating Cinqo de Mayo a few days late as I like to ignore holidays that exploit and make a joke out of my Mexican people, but then again, Paulina Rubio probably isn’t the best approach to ignore things that exploit and make a joke out of Mexicans, but at least she hasn’t followed the same path of many Mexican vaginas before her by producing litters of kids and gaining 150 lbs in process destroying any sex appeal they may have, but I guess since her uterus is now officially polluted, it’s never too late to start or to reconnect with the Mexican way that’s engrained in your DNA…which is kinda the same reason I like to use to justify why I’m slow moving and unemployed.
Who the fuck are the Saturdays and why the fuck are they such whores I want to fuck. I need to further investigate this trash on youtube to analyze their videos while masturbating, I’m wondering how bad their music is, cuz traditionally the hotter the band, the shittier the sound, but I’m far too hungover and impotent to bother, but I’ll let you do it for me, cuz you have nothing better to do with your time and I guess time is the one main benefits of being a fucking loser with no life, friends, job, hobbies….yo have all this free time in the world that you don’t know how to use….there’s only so much chronic masturbating to fill up your days….and by the looks of The Saturdays….
I like to keep track of women who don’t use the pill or believe in birth control cuz that kind of risk factor excites me, I mean as long as they are in the first trimester and they only look a little chubby in the pussy, not when they reach obvious pregnancy, that’s pretty much when they retire from being sexy and become mom’s with vaginas too big to hug my small penis.
Either way, I guess something happens to you hormonally when your body knows that you are going to give it all fuckin’ up, because that’s the only explanation for why both these pregnant whores are in see thru shirts, I mean other than the possibility that they are trying to squeeze into they non-maternity clothes and there’s not enough fabric to cover their slut asses up, but there’s not fun in that, I like to think it’s intentional…now all we need is some before and after pussy shots, as that is my fetish….
If you’ve been wondering what Akon’s been up to, and I know you have, it turns out he was shooting his new video in South Africa because when you’re successful and make millions for a record label, they’ll pretty much let you shoot your video anywhere you fuckin’ want and he did it with one of my favorite things life had to offer and that’s black girls..and one white girl who shoulda been left at home…but I am sure he fucked them all after the shoot equally, not because South African chicks are easy, but because in the presence of a famous person, all chicks are, no matter where they are from. True story. I know, I bring serious fucking insight into the world, don’t I….
The great thing about being the black guy all the white girls want to fuck from CSI is that all the white girls still want to fuck you when you are on the beach, especially when you are with some hot bodied bitch in her bikini, because girls are catty and competitive and want whatever the other girls want, or whatever the other girls have and they put up a fucking fight for the shit not caring if the bitch they are steppin up on is their best friend or not.
So if you want to have the best sex in your life, you need to hire a whore to follow you around all night, acting like you are sent from fucking god, so other girls jump in to try to win you away from the bitch, but that really only works if they recognize you from TV or are rich, because girls are groupies, and don’t fight for nobodies who have acne and smell like cum from all the chronic masturbation problem.
Jennifer Love Hewitt was at some film premiere for some Gen Art collective shit that showcases all the best in independent film or some shit, but based on their attendees, it looks like they are more into showcasing slutty tit.
Speaking of tit, I didn’t get fucked on my birthday, I didn’t even make it out to the stripclub, I didn’t even get a lapdance, or date rape a bitch. I guess next year, we’ll try to make it out to this Gen Art brothel. Not that you care.
This is a video of some crazed Jamaican Dancehall dancers doing some pretty erotic dance moves in their bathing suits with no music on. I’ve never been to Jamaica but I have seen some friend’s resort video that was pretty much a compilation of the staff of the resort simulating hard animalistic sex with tourists, I’m talking girls pinned up to the fucking wall getting dry humped harder than Chris Brown hits Rihanna and this video is a step up from that. My favorite part of it is the Bike Tire to Pussy Move…
This is a true story for those of you who care, I was in the middle of writing this post on the Grammy’s. I was getting all worked up about how fucking irritating they are and how I can’t stomach the bullshit they spew from Jay Z and Coldplay duets, to a bunch of rappers in black and white, to two teenage popstars claiming to be best friends, even though we all know they hate each other and jealous of each other’s success in fucking the other one’s boyfriend, to the Jonas Brother’s a Stevie Wonder and Dean Martin getting a nod years after his death, when it hit me…..
I had a dizzy spell, I fell to the ground, got back up and checked my pulse, it was beating fucking fast, like so fast I thought it was the end of my life and couldn’t even count because there was no blood getting to my fucking brain, so I called 911, then cancelled because I can’t handle the whole stretcher scene I’ll cause in my building, so I took a cab there, spent 8 hours in Emergency, had a few tests only to be told it’s either the coffee I drank, or a fucking blood clot, so if my legs swell, go back to the hospital if not, I’m good to go.
Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t fucking know what these pudgy legs look like swollen or not swollen, they always look fucking swollen to me, I’m fat as fuck, anyway, I didn’t die, but I blame this Grammy’s post for doing it to me and I wasn’t gonna let that fucker win….
That said, I wasn’t going to bother posting every picture of every celebrity asshole at the fucking Grammy’s, so I chose to only post the ones showing off their tits, because their tits are really all I care about, since I know they all have rank pussy. Yes, I used the same fucking line in the last post, repetition makes my life easier.
Either way, I felt I need to finish it and post it to celebrate being alive another day…
Audrina and her new face….if she’s there this Grammy shit must be legit
Meatloaf and Mary Kate Olsen….
Lisa Rinna and Her Plastic Body Parts…
Some Chick Who’s Last Name is Veronica Who I’ve Never Heard Of…
Marisa Miller Cuz She’s a Model and Has Tight Body, Even If She Looks Like She’s Had One Too Many Groupie Cumshots on Tour Buses in Her Youth of Many Years Ago…
The CSI Chick Fatter than Ever But Still Hotter Than All These Whores…
Paris Hilton Because I Am Friends With Some Girl Pretending To Be Her on Facebook….Not Because I Think Her Tits are Hot…
A Little Brooke Hogan Cuz She’ll Never Win a Grammy So She Goes to Dream
Nikki Cox and Her Fake Lips and Big Ol’ Tits and Her Comedian Idol Host Boyfriend…
Some American Idol Piece of Shit….
Some Wayne’s World Piece of Shit…
Some Natalie Cole Duet With Her Dead Father and By Father I Mean Tits…
The Grammy’s, despite being some staged bullshit, are a big deal for the music industry, at least I think they are, and they make a whole fucking production out of the thing. It’s like this obnoxious girl I know who like to celebrate her birthday over the course of 4 or 5 days, it’s like bitch, no one gives a fuck about your fucking birthday, why the fuck do you try to drag us all out 3 days before the fucking shit, and 3 days after the fucking shit like you’re some kind of fucking princess. The only reason we bother going to your birthday the day of your fucking birthday is because it means you’re one year closer to fucking death. I don’t mean to be morbid, but it’s the pecking order and sometimes, people and their egos deserve to be offed.
That said, I wasn’t going to bother posting every picture of every celebrity asshole at the fucking events that surrounded the Grammy’s, so I chose to only post the ones showing off their tits, because their tits are more valuable than the rest of these sluts. Most of these bitches are nobodies, I like them better than the people who think they’re somebodies…
Some chick named Dollicia Bryan and her nipple….
Monster Khloe Kardashian and Her See Through With Some Nipple Poking out Disgustingness….
Bill Mahr With His Jungle Fever…
Pregnant or Possibly Pregnant Old Lookin’ Fergie…..
Fantasia and Some Saggy Fucking Shit….
Natasha Beddingfield and Her Breast Bone Makes Me Hungry for Chicken….
Christina Milian in Her Bandage Dress, Leaving a Grammy Party… Sure, It’s Not Quite the Same Bandage She’d Need After I’m Done With Her Ass Because There’s No Hello Kitty on the Shit, But Still Hot To Me…
Bonus – Larry King’s Swining Gold Digging Whore and Her Fake Tits…
Call me gay, but I hate sluts. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love sluts. But I hate attention whore sluts, who go out in bodypaint, or strip, or give out samples or condoms at bars, because they have this false sense of purpose. They think they are more important than they are because they were hired to do the gig in the first place, making them think someone likes their bodies, but more importantly, because asshole frat boys as to take their pictures with them, like they are some kind of Britney fucking Spears, and not just some slag who doesn’t mind getting naked for 20 dollars an hour.
They end up with inflated egos, while the frat boys end up with pictures of a girl in body paint to show their friends because they are so crazy, or some shit. Making it a lot harder to convince them that they need me to help their career.
I prefer my sluts to be broken down girls with daddy issues who keep it together in public but the second you tell them the right thing they need to hear, it’s like a trigger that leaves them masturbating on webcam for you.
These tacky whores are just a waste of space, they don’t make parties better, except for leaving regular girls feeling insecure about not getting any of the attention, thus making them easier to hustle, so maybe they’re not as bad as I initial thought, at least when I am lookin’ at them body painted in pictures.
My inconsistency pretty much makes this post have pretty much no purpose so look at the pics.
Since I am lazy and don’t do research on much other than Amateur Porn and various health symptoms to see what diseases I may or may not have, and since I don’t actually care about what’s going on on TV or in Movies or even in Hollywood, despite my site being pretty much only about sluts in Hollywood, I rely heavily on PR people and random people to send me stories.
So I got this email:
I’ve done a little research on the latest NBC reality show to debut December 16th, “Momma’s Boys”, a new series with producer Ryan Seacrest. Seacrest may have the sweetest, most innocent smile on television, however, his reputation may face some serious smearing with this project.
While scrolling through the new cast members, I thought to myself how much they looked like porn stars or strippers vying for television exposure. My suspicions were confirmed when I recognized Erica Ellyson, Miss 2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year. With a little help from my good friend Google, I found Ms. Ellyson was not the only cast member with a racy background. A total of 4 of these lovely women chosen to find true love have taken there clothes off for the camera more times than one. I have included some links that you may be interested in taking a look at, pics and all.
So seeing as this piece of shit show hits tomorrow, and seeing that Ryan Seacrest is my soulmate with his frosted hair and killer smile always seduce me and since I’ve had a relationship with him when I am feeling gay, because you can’t control who your soul mates are, I figured it’d only be right to showcase the sluts of his show, to give him the boost of interest he was hoping for in casting them and not trying to hide the fact that they are whores who get naked for money. Truth is, I think it’s a good strategy to get people to watch, so maybe he’s not just a dreamy motherfucker, but also a genius.
Either way, here’s a glimpse at the sluts that were cast:
Erica Ellyson (2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year) Hometown: Hurley, MS Occupation: Adult Model Age: 24
Hey y’all! I was born and raised in South Mississippi. I grew up a bit of a tomboy; fishing with my parents, running track, playing golf and softball. After attending community college, I went to architecture school until I received the title of the 2008 Penthouse Pet of the Year. Right now, I’m taking a break from my studies due to my travel demands as a Penthouse Pet. I will go back to school when my year with Penthouse is finished. I like to play golf as much as possible. When not on the course, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends: cooking, eating, and watching football and baseball.
I love how all these nude models say they were tomboy’s growing up, it really makes them that much hotter….to pedophiles.
Meghan Allen (Playboy) Hometown: Dallas, TX Occupation: Bartender/Model Age: 27
I love Texas and all it has to offer. I have the most amazing job and friends! I am a hair stylist, but right now I’m working as a bartender/cocktail waitress at one of the hottest clubs in Dallas. I love my job because it gives me free time to do what I love most, which is modeling. Lately, I’ve been very busy with photo shoots because I am working on a website. In my free time I love doing anything that has to do with water… the beach, pool, boating etc. I love hanging out with my friends and just relaxing. I’m a very laid-back person and love to laugh and have a good time. I’m probably one of the goofiest girls you’d ever meet. I’m not afraid to be myself – for instance, I love to burp out loud and am not shy about it! My little Chihuahua Bella is my world! I have the most amazing family. Since they live in Pennsylvania I miss them tons! That’s pretty much me in a nutshell.
Another barmaid/waitress from Texas who saved herself enough money for fake tits to get all the attention she can get to the level of fame she deserves. In her mind, this show is a stepping stone, in reality, it’s her 5 minutes and the fact that she burps out loud is fucking disgusting.
Stacy Fuson (Playboy)
Hometown:Tacoma, WA Occupation: Student/Model Age: 30
I loved growing up in Washington State. This led me to my love of fishing and boating. As a kid, I played a lot of sports. My favorites are softball, volleyball, basketball, and bowling. I enjoy traveling and have been to England, France, Croatia, Argentina, Peru, Panama, and Japan. I love Japanese food, especially sushi. For the past 12 years, I’ve been modeling and have worked on “Entourage,” “Shallow Hal,” “American Pie,” and “Sullivan Sisters.” I was Playboy’s Miss February 1999 and the 2005 St. Pauli Girl. I love the beach, going to dinner, and watching movies. I’m a producer and anchor on a news website. I’m also going to business school and will soon launch my own brand of vitamins, Vitamins by Stacy.
Isn’t 30 a little too old to still be in school? Maybe a better strategy would be to go more hardcore, throw some dick into these photoshoots and make your work matter a little more than it does, if you are going to be a fucking whore to get ahead…be a fucking whore and give us something worth lookin’ at….whore.
there’ really nothing interesting going on right now, been surfing the internet and nothing interesting is coming up, but I was sent this video about some teenage girl in the UK who wants breast implants even though she’s probably 16. I guess it’s a testament to how awesome big tits are, or maybe the influence of all those UK glamor models having careers based on their big tits making 14 year olds feel inadequate and despite hating fake tits, this does give me confidence that the world is going in the right direction……
The real issue is obviously the parents, they give their kids too much freedom like this one mom saying she thinks her daughter is old enough to make decisions about her body for herself, even if the girl isn’t fully developed and that not being developed really makes perverts more aroused versus the fake tits they see at stripclubs constantly, anyone can have those, but only 15 year olds can have teenage titties, so why ruin a good thing, I guess because you’re a whore in training and this is phase one….or whatever….either way, watch the video, blame Jordan, Gemma Atkinson and them other slags who have proven today that despite popular belief, they aren’t entirely useless…..
I don’t know who these twins are and I don’t really care because I got a fucking finger shoved in my ass toay and I am not really in the mood to use google, for fear that I may land on images of prostate exams being administered, which is never a good thing for me, because girls don’t have a fucking prostate, not that I ever tell them that for fear that they’ll catch onto my lie that is “lookin’ for cancer, since it’s pretty fuckin’ common” to get up in there in the first place and I’d hate my strategy to be let out of the fucking bag.
Either way, these girls look like they are down with anal, I mean all girls who were raised in Hollywood with dreams of fame are, and if they happen to be the only two who aren’t then I bet they are definitely down with showering together, because they are sisters after all and it’s only natural and that’s good enough for me, because they aren’t all that hot as one, but pretty fucking glorious as a tag team.
I don’t know if you remember Ecko, they kinda fell off the map about 5 or 6 years ago when they started selling the shit in Wal Mart or places like Wal Mark and homeless people like me started rockin’ our Rhino sweatshirts because our wives thought they were cute and were the only thing under 20 dollars in the store that fit our overweight selves, not because we were hip hop or trying to maintain street cred, but because we were lazy and it was convenient.
It looks like they are making their way back onto the scene and they are drawing attention in the oldest way possible and that is with hot sluts in bikinis, showing off their asses, pretending to be making jeans, despite knowing the truth that these jeans were probably made in China, Indonesia or wherever else they make jeans these days, but who really cares about the sweatshops, unless of course they look like this.
Now do me a favor and email Ecko letting them know I promoted them for free because after Diesel’s SFW Porn ad was such a big hit, I figured I had to keep bringing the goods. I’d insert the link to the Diesel SFW porn clip, but that’s what the search bar is for, do it yourself you lazy pig.
In case you didn’t know, Adrian Grenier’s girlfriend was in the car with Shai LeBeef when he had his drunk driving accident, leading the world to believe she’s fuckin’ that little troll’s useless cock, while probably being a huge blow to Adrian Grenier’s ego, because let’s face it, whenever a girl I bang goes with someone fuckin’ lame after being with me, I take personal offense and even think for a minute that maybe I am delusional and maybe this fucker is a step up from me and that I just think he’s a loser because I am jealous that she’s fucking someone who isn’t me, but probably not because I don’t believe in jealousy and what I find lame is not what girls find lame, so in the end it all makes sense and I end up marrying the first fat lonely chick who comes along, because I figure I am older and I don’t want to be alone and that she’s going to always be there for me through thick and thin because she’s older and doesn’t want to be alone either, even though she’s not anything I ever wanted to marry and is probably something I wouldn’t even notice walking down the street, but she’s mine, I’ve settled and this post is depressing me, let me switch it up….
So Adrian Grenier has dumped the LeBeef girl, and was spotted paddle surfing, the gayest sport out there with 3 chicks in their bikinis, and last time I checked, 3 girls on your dick is better than one, so while his ex is out with some Hollywood loser, Grenier’s showin’ her than shit don’t matter and he’s going to make the best of this freedom, you cheating, lying, useless piece of ass who is just trying to advance your own career and it will all backfire, because there’s a lot hotter more talented pussy out there than you.