Sofia Vergara’s rocking some optical illusion bathing suit for twitter that I assume she has scientists working for her to decidethe best way to package her old lady ass and huge titties for the public…an investment she doesn’t mind splurging on because she’s been using her tits since her teens to get knocked up….and now that she’s not forced to lick brass poles to pay the rent as a hard up immigrant in miami…and is in fact rich…she can splurge on those important things….and I for one thank Santa for that….

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Sofia Vergara has come a long fucking way from being a broken down 20 year old single mothered faced with stripping or re-marrying rich….so she gets the importance of her ridiculous tits…and how at 40 and an Emmy winner…she owes a lot to them…so she might as well celebrate them and put them on blast on set…cuz really they are all that fucking matter….and I’m thankful for that….

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Sofia Vergara is filming some movie with Sharon Stone and since she’s Sofia Vergara she’s showing off some tits…because without her tits….she would never have been an Emmy winning actress who snuck her way into the bed of the right producer…cuz there are so many other Hispanic women..or even white women who can put on a believable hispanic accent to take her place…

It makes absolutely no sense to me how someone who was a single mother at 20, living as a refugee in Miami…made it to Hollywood star status by 40….her story should have ended drug addicted stripper…..there’s more to this story than we’re being told…but I can tell you one thing…no matter what that story is…it all starts with her tits…

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I have already posted and showcased Sofia Vergara as my favorite thing at the Emmys for some sick reason…..

I genrally hate over 35 year old women, no matter how curvy, exotic, busty, or accented they are…..I can only assume I was won over by her latina spell that I can only assume she had some witch doctor make in some Colombian lab….that lead to this career, and by witch doctor I mean a member of her family who was supplying Hollywood with all its cocaine opening some pretty important doors….it doesn’t matter…because I’m hooked…and that was before I saw thesee pics of her dresse ripped open, busted at the zipper, because her ass is just that fat and tasty, you see cuz even if this shit looks like it was maid for a tacky hispanic graduation, it was probably 10,000 dollars and hand crafted, making the zipper break that much more substantial, cuz if it was some Walmat prom dress shit that it looks like it is, I’d expect this….but the fact that it isn’t just shows how much power that ass has…an ass I want to eat….in hopes of getting some of its powers….

The only unfortunate thing in all this is her underwear….no one wears underwear to these things….unless they are in a mini skirt…so maybe just maybe it was staged….or she’s drippy….

Sexy as fuck regardless.

If this post teaches us one thing….you know one valuable life lesson…is that I can turn hate into love just by seeing a little nudity….that’s all it took for me to change my opinion of her…a broken zipper and a golden fucking ass.

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I am the best anti-celebrity celebrity site on the internet…and in keeping true to my self given title of not giving a fuck about celebrities….except maybe for staring at their tits….not because I am bitter about their fame, fortune, success, or lifestyle….or because i am mad I don’t know them, they don’t know me, or that people aspire to be them and not me….or even because I hate that they don’t fuck me….but because my own life keeps me fucking busy…and real life girls are hotter than actors and just as insecure and striving to succeed at having people watch them…but more accessible…

So I had no idea the Emmy’s were last night…..I am sure I didn’t miss much…

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All I am thinking when watching this bikini video of Sofia Vergara Pepsi back in 1990 when she was 17 is not how hot she was as jailbait, but that she was jailbait in 1990….that’s a fucking lifetime ago….a lifetime that has brought her fame and fortune and some Emmy’s and has brought me pretty much nothing but some STDs and horrible memories, sure…but still a fucking lifetime ago….

I dont even remember 1990 and most girls I have sex with were born in 1990…..making this Sofia Vergara character seriously fucking old….not to mention…I guess she was a late bloomer, or maybe just rockin’ awesome South American discount implants cuz her tits at 17 are not thee tits she has today…

I have no idea why this is hitting the internet today, it’s been on Youtube since 2010 and I am sure I’ve even posted it before , but whatever, I go along with the trends cuz I am a follower…..

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I have no idea what these pictures are from, I just know they were emailed to me claiming to be of Sofia Vergara in her underwear painting a dude, and since I have facial recognition blindness, and everyone looks the same, not just black people, cuz I am not racist….I cannot confirm or deny that they are of her, but I can say they seem fun…

Sure it may be a little too much fun for someone this old…I mean maybe this should have been left in for her 20s, but I guess she was two busy sleeping her way to the top as a single mother with Colombian coke ties that financed her shit….

Becasue she is pushing 50 and that’s a good time to spend napping, knitting and betting on the horses or whatever it is 50 year olds do….but I guess you’re never too old to get half naked if you got a hot body like this….

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Sofia Vergara is showing off her fat 40 year old mom tits while hiding her fat 40 year old mom belly that to date she’s done a good job keeping off or hidden or toned…but that she’ll probably allow in for permanent residence status….since she’s hit the top she wanted to hit when fucking all those people to get there….an Emmy, critical acclaim, praise and fans, money….all things that were never expected when she was debating being a stripper when she was a fresh off the boat single mother….and can let things go….I mean I guess that’s why she’s wearing some flashy, shiny, dress you’d expect to see at some Hispanic prom, Hispanic wedding, Hispanic Christening, Hispanic Sunday….and that makes me laugh…while her big tits make me horny….

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Sofia Vergara has got some pretty ridiculous tits….her whole story bores me because I know it is a marketing lie…and I am convinced that her accent is just played up bullshit that is Hollywood’s way of pretending that they are giving a minority a chance, when really they are just an old boys club who give no one a chance…but then again, she could just be some rich Colombian with a dream and a violent coke cartel army behind her that broke legs to make this whole fame thing happen….but I’m not convinced there was any real struggle in her life and I guess none of that matters…cuz she’s here, she’s old, but busty and sometimes tits are all it takes to ignore conspiracy…..

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I wonder where Sofia Vergara would be without her tits…..probably a nothing…not that I actually wonder where Sofia Vergara would be without her tits…I’m really not that interested in Sofia Vergara even with her tits…She’s old and hispanic and fine I guess…but I prefer my hispanic pussy to be a little more in their 20s, not a single mother and not from the gutter and after 20 years of struggle and dick sucking finally famous, rich and Emmy winning, cuz that’s the kind of Hispanic I can only assume comes with some real high maintenance, cunt behavior who feels deserving of the winning lottery ticket that is her life, when I like my third world titties, even if not as fully, to be more appreciative of the soiled mattress she’s gotta sleep on after sucking my dick for rent money….you know the kind of bitch you can show drug cartel beheading videos to and grasps that if she doesn’t perform she’s heading back…not this high end luxury version who is so disconnected from that world since going Hollywood, but then again, she’s sure got some fat tits…..

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