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Archive for the stalker Category




Audrina’s Stalker in Court of the Day

So a dude got busted dropping off letters at Audrina’s house and he must be crazy cuz everyone knows Audrina can’t read. Some stalker….

He was in court and he got frustrated I couldn’t hear a word of what he was saying but apparently it is funny…but not as funny as admitting to the world that you stalk Audrina Patridge, who is fucking useless and barely celebrity….almost as bad as getting arrested for stalking the bitch who works at Starbucks cuz she smiles at me and a smile means she is my wife in my culture that I invented for the sake of justifying why my dick is exposed and I’m asking for a Latte, if you know what I mean…

But in more interesting news, you can use online dating to make tons of money….from lonely, desperate women looking for love….a hero who with a strategy that makes sense….

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|stalker




Keira Knightley Valentines Day Love Story Gone Wrong of the Day

I am posting this picture because it made me laugh….I love how they circled the motherfucker, but that’s just because I love mentally unstable losers muster up the courage to find their wifes who don’t know they are their wives are and let them know how angry they are for them being unloyal bitches who never come home at night, who ignore them even when they are so close to each other, and who pretend they aren’t in love when clearly they are, otherwise how did they get married crazy…..

Either way, here’s the love story behind it…look how happy they are together, before she turned on him and got him arrested. It is the perfect idea for all your Valentine’s Day plans, cuz you’re fucking creeps…

FILE picture dated February 2 2010 of Keira Knightley leaving her nightly performance in “The Misanthrope” at London’s Comedy Theatre, watched by Marek Daniluk (rear, right). Daniluk, 41, has been charged with harrassment after waiting for the 24-year-old actress outside the theatre. It is alleged the Polish national, who is understood to have mental health difficulties, grabbed the “Pirates of the Caribbean” star’s arm and demanded she answer questions. He was arrested on Thursday February 4 2010 and appeared before the City of Westminster magistrate’s court on Saturday.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Keira Knightley|stalker




Sophie Monk has a Stalker Who Isn’t Me of the Day

Sophie Monk apparently has a stalker, I call bullshit, because everyone knows that she has herpes, and people with herpes never get stalked, they kinda get drunkenly fucked when people don’t really realize how much of a pain in the ass herpes actually is, because they are drunk, until waking up to pimples on their dick a few weeks later, wondering why they did what the did for only a few minutes of pleasure, unless I guess her stalker has herpes too, which is also possible, cuz I hear stalkers aren’t always the most hygienic or careful people when it comes to sexuality…..Not that I know for a fact that she has herpes, I just like to believe a herpes outbreak is what broke up her engagement to the Good Charlotte sister, its how she found out he cheated on her.

Here she is with her “Bodyguard”. I call bullshit on this and think she’s just trying to get some buzz cuz she can’t get work…you know show the producers how wanted she is by faking a stalker. Pathetic.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Sophie Monk|stalker




How the Fuck Did Shawn Johnson Have a Stalker of the Day

I think the biggest joke on TV right now is that this Shawn Johnson dude has a fuckin’ stalker. It’s like not only is the dude stalking her crazy enough to stalk a motherfucker hard enough to get arrested, but he’s also got no fucking taste.

It is always one of life’s great fucking tragedies when a crazy person, some passionate enough to not fear outcome, don’t have the fuckin’ insight to use that crazy properly, and waste it on girls like Shawn Johnson. You know, because he could have been arrested for stalking any fucking girl in the world, and he chose her. Very upsetting….

Posted in:Shawn Johnson|stalker




Avril Lavigne Doesn’t Like Fat Creepy Guys of the Day

Some weird guy who probably reads this site chased Avril Lavigne for a picture. He doesn’t have a heart atttack while she runs from him, and him after her, but it is the reason she should realize she’s not suburban punk rock enough to fend for herself. She’s fucking Hollywood and needs a fucking bodyguard, because there are at least 20 guys out there who are obsessed with her, who think of her as a dream girl and who may even think they are married to her, but she just doesn’t know it yet and they save their disability checks, or minimum wage checks to get down to LA and let her know that they are the one. This shit is hardly scary, dude should have at least tried to grab a tit or finger bang her, she totally overreacts, but that’s just cuz she’s a fluffy little celebrity and not the street punk I know who would bite that fucker’s dick off if he tried to get in her face.

The paparazzi did an honorable job defending her, you know videotaping the shit, instead of telling the motherfucker to back off, because it’s more fun to see creepy guys grab at her than defend them from the creepy dudes, I probably wouldn’t have stepped in, it’s not like Avril would help me if she saw me getting harassed.

The only tragedy in all this is that he didn’t throw her in his fuckin’ van and drive away with her, turning her into some brainwashed sex slave, because I hate her.

Posted in:Avril Lavigne|Punk|stalker




The Paula Abdul Killed Her Fan Who Had Hot Tits of the Day

You know the story, some crazy Paula Abdul fan named Paula was found dead after taking prescription pills, in front of Paula Abdul’s house. I mean this story screams all kinds of crazy, considering Paula Abdul hasn’t had a fan in decades.

When I first heard the person had tried out to be on the show, I assumed it was William Hung, because the mockery they made out of him and his obvious virginity, coupled with Paula Abdul being the only woman who wasn’t his mother talking to him, could generate some unhealthy obsessions….I mean half of the 5 people who come to this site are socially awkward virgins, lookin’ for the celebrity slut they think they are married to…

Either way, it wasn’t William hung, it was some big titty girl and I think Paula Abdul killed her, after watching that video, her idol rejected her. That’s something that could seriously destroy a crazy person who has an unnatural obsession with the person rejecting her. It’s like this video was the day the dreams ended and for the rest of her time, she just though about those painful words out of Paula Abdul’s mouth….I mean not to mention the fact that she had to live with being obsessed over Paula Abdul, probably one of the most depressing “celebrities” to be obsessed over, if I couldn’t get Paula out of my mind, I’d find out where she lived too, and offed myself to give her nightmares as payback for the nightmare that was my obsession I couldn’t escape……

It’s all too bad, because Paula and her could have had some good times together, they could have been BFFs, they both like getting fucked up, they both can’t sing and they both look like clowns while making fools of themselves on TV…..you’ve probably seen this video, it’s old news, I know, 24 hours is a long time on the internet….

The real tragedy was that is was such waste of tits…

Posted in:Paula Abdul|stalker|Tits




Britney Spears in Her Backyard Getting Stalked of the Day

So the paparazzi are on my ass for publishing harassing emails they send me and for posting images they claim are theirs even though I find them on forums and shit. I’ve decided to start a war against them, I just haven’t really figured out how I am going to do it because I am poor and in Canada.

I guess what it comes down to is that I find it insane that people can make millions of dollars taking pictures of celebrities like this. Here is Britney Spears in her backyard and some motherfucker got the exclusive by either hiding in her bushes or on her neighbors roof and I know that If I ever did something like this, I’d be arrested.

I know when I take pictures of girls tanning in their backyards or at the park, I always feel like I am going to get caught, so I try to set the camera up to either be hidden or like I am a photography student trying to get a shot of the tree they are next to. Crawling in bushes and shit is just too risky for me and something I’d only do at night andI never actually put the shit online, let alone sell it to magazines and websites for insane prices.

I guess the point of this post is to say the paparazzi do illegal shit to get their pictures and profit from the shit so I think it’s hypocritical that me posting pictures I deem where illegally taken as being copyright protected. It’s like a drug dealer trying to sue someone for not paying for weed you sold them. Shit just can’t hold up in court.

This post isn’t funny, and that’s because I am depressed. Hold me.

Some Bonus That’s Not Really Bonus of Britney Made Up and Showing Some Tit to Go With Her Fat Chin….

Posted in:Backyard|Britney Spears|stalker




I am Not the Britney Spears Stalker but You May Be of the Day

It turns out that Britney Spears has a stalker and unfortunately it isn’t me. This is the kind of media attention that would really take the site to the next level, not to mention getting charged as a celebrity stalker would be a hell of a lot better than the other crimes I’ve been charged for, which are actually all really embarrassing, like the time I got charged for kidnapping my neighbor’s cat because bitch wouldn’t stop making noise complaints against me or the all the times I got arrested for public drunkenness when all I was going for was a couple of laughs from my friends when strolling around the park naked that unfortunately happened when there was a group of kids playing there leading to a way more serious offense, but I managed to get off and not the way you would, you sick fuck.

Either way, here’s the story:

“It started about six weeks ago with just letters being sent once a week, and then it quickly escalated to larger packages that now arrive two to three times a week — always to the same L.A. address, but never to one of Britney’s homes.”

And according to the source, it’s a good thing these boxes never made it to the still-recovering singer’s doorstep, because what’s inside could not be good for her mental state.

“The first thing you see when you open the box is a huge, lavender-colored, battery-operated sex toy, still with the price tag on it.” And alongside the mechanical apparatus are two letters — one handwritten and one written on a computer — both threatening and pornographic in nature.

“The handwritten one is on note paper and it’s written in a crazy, all-caps chicken scratch,” says the source, who adds that the five-page typed letter contains vivid, pornographic details of the writer’s fantasy exploits with Britney, none of which can be printed here.

That doesn’t sound like a stalker to me, it sound like someone lookin’ for a good time and Britney should appreciate the attention she’s getting from him, because most dudes have thrown their Britney fantasies into the back of their masturbation catalog because she’s so fuckin’ damaged.

If anything, dude’s doing her a favor by sending her a vibrator to service herself, because it will get her in a lot less trouble than an actual penis that will lead to pregnancy, then losing her babies and being forced to pay the motherfucker crazy amounts of money for life and shit, which turns out to be a lot more expensive than just pullin’ a whack.

It’s like giving a rapist a rubber vagina to have his way with to keep him off our women and the fact that the price tag is still on it, just proves that it’s never been used and is good to go without giving it a wash down. Every girl I’ve ever given a vibrator to has had to soak that fucker in bleach because it had seen more dirty pussy than a gynecologist in the poor part of town. Dude even went so far to give her erotic stories to use the vibrator with and if anything dude’s just a romantic and not a threat to the world, because I usually just throw on the dirtiest porn I can find to get a girl in the mood, I stay as far away from writing drug store erotica to get bitch in the fuckin’ mood. So if motherfucker is being labeled a stalker, I wonder what the girl who I followed home and left a pair of her panties that I stole from the laundry mat that I jerked off on or even the girl who caught me in her closet wearing one of her dresses after breaking into her apartment thinks of me…

Either way, I just wish that the cake I made Britney and planned on mailing out to her before my wife got her greasy hands on it and ate made it to her….because then maybe I’d be on my way to being the next K-Fed and not one of you…..

Posted in:Britney Spears|stalker