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Archive for the Stalky Category

2008

23

Jun

Lily Allen’s Long Luscious Miscarriage Legs of the Day

I feel bad because I’ve been writing some pretty ripping commentary about Lily Allen’s miscarriage and that brought me happiness over the last few months, because I am a sick motherfucker. Unfortunately, a reader reached out and told me that they worked at the abortion clinic where Lily Allen got her baby sucked out of her and that it wasn’t a miscarriage at all.

at and now I feel bad about making jokes about the baby life wrongfully taken from him. He could have been the next president of something, inventor, Nick Lachey, the possibilities were endless but some selfish cunt decided to take the vaccuum to the motherfucker like some it’s some dust bunny in the corner of the room. Abortion is completely disgusting and unacceptabe and nothing that should be laughed at, just something that should be protested.

Either way, I doubt any of the 5 of you who reads this site work at Celebrity abortion clinics, in fact, I highly doubt you have jobs and stealing change out of your mom’s purse doesn’t count as work no matter how chanllenging it is. But here are some pictures of a stalky Lily Allen rockin’ out and by rockin’ out I mean discreetly giving us the finger like we were the fetus in her womb all while rockin’ her stupid cotton candy hair, cotton candy the baby she murdered won’t ever be able to eat, so Lily Allen’s guilt is making it up to him by only eating cotton candy and other sugar based delicacies, that’s how she stays so tight bodied, and by tight bodied I mean look’s a lot like the dude who played Willow .

Posted in:Lily Allen|Stalky

2007

15

Nov

I am – Hayden Panettiere is Ugly of the Day

hayden_panettiere_ugly3.jpg

The problem is the world is that people can never agree on anything. If everyone agreed on everything, there’d be no fights, there’d be no differences, there’d be no hate, and despite that being boring as fuck at least I’d be able to drive the fact that Hayden Panettiere is not fuckin’ hot down all your fuckin’ throats, because my new pet peeve is that bitch is being seen as some kind of sex symbol, when she should be doin’ backflips at the local carnival or workin’ stunts on a Japanese Game Show…

The weirdest shit for me is when I see a hot girl and turn to my friend and point her out, not because having a friend is pretty unheard of, which it is, but because dude never agrees with my choices. Some dudes like blondes, some like brunettes, some like young, some like old, some like chubby with fat titties, some like skinny, some like short and some like tall, some like anything they can get their dicks in, some only like supermodels and can’t get it up for table scraps but never get supermodels, so spend a lot of time jerking off all over themselves.

But I have faith and feel like we should all be able to agree that Hayden is about as attractive as the bucket of shit we had lying around my apartment when our toilet broke and my wife refused to take shit out to dump in the alley until it was overflowing….it’s nice to see stalky/stumpy bitches getting work, but constantly telling them how hot they are isn’t positive affirmation, it’s lies and the equivalent of telling a retard he’s a genius because he figured out that smashing his helmeted head against the wall til he bleeds isn’t as fun as he originally thought it was and went back to hitting rocks together like he’s supposed to. Retards are always good times.


Related Posts:

Hayden Panettiere and Her Dogs
Hayden Panettiere Making Sex Faces
Hayden Panettiere is King of the Midgets
Hayden Panettiere is Flashing Her Bikini for the Dolphins

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Stalky|Ugly|Unsorted