Here’s an exclusive clip sent to me by my friends at VIVID of Rockstar Phil Varone’s Swinger porn….
I know swingers…you know the kind of couples who fuck other couples with consent because let’s face it being monogamous fucking sucks and if you’re cheating when together it isn’t cheating at all…even if GOD is judging you…..but that’s just cuz GOD, or the church who invented GOD is boring….cuz I say fuck all you can and as many people as you can…but maybe that’s just cuz I am a romantic…..
I have tried to get into a swingers club at least 10 times in my life, alone, while wasted, unshowered and convinced it was a good idea but was always asked to leave by the door man in his tuxedo cuz I was riding solo, ready to jerk off, and I told them that my plan was to see how fat the swinger bitches were, cuz I heard they were nasty, and if they weren’t fat enough I would creep in the corner like I was a fly on the wall, or a creep on the fire escape peeping in…..
Not only does Lauren Vandervoort have a nerd name, you know one that sounds like a Harry Potter Character, something that probably makes her nerd fans cum faster as they chronically masturbate competitively over pics of her on chat room and obscure social networks when they are not making plans for their imaginary wedding to her….but apparently..she also hates drunkenstepfather….they all do…..
If that’s not arrousing enough for you, here are pics of her for Esquire looking good……
Equipped with an iPhone with 20% battery life, Drunkenstepfather.com, meaning me, went to Montreal’s version of Comicon, even though they didn’t give us Press passes, meaning we paid the 35 dollars to see this shit, despite hating virgin loser nerds who like video games and comic books and scifi and cosplay and fantasy and second life… as much as I hate the stale semen smell that follows them everywhere they go…..from chronic masturbating in their mom’s basement where they live and make robotic women while pretending to be married to their favorite women….
Well it turns out that they convention itself was as bootleg and ghetto and second rate poor man hustle as my reporting…but I figured I’d post my pics anyway….
From Captain Picard and Kirk sitting next to each other in some nerd time warp vortex, to some fat chick showing off the only head she’s ever got, to the Ghostbusters comparing dick sizes, and some girls in cosplay costume seeking male attention…..it was good times.
If you want to follow our adventures and by our I mean mine and by adventures I mean sitting on the couch – Follow My Instagram @DRUNKENSTEPFATHERDOTCOM
This 50 Shades of Grey shit has ruined 40+ year old women’s lives…it is making them hate their husbands….because their husbands are uninterested in fucking them…probably cuz they are a fragment of what they were when they got married….you know after the kids and shit….
It is also opening women up to light bondage, and shit they may have not been into, even though I thought all 40+ year old women were into the freaky shit since being post pregnancy, menopausal and bored….but I guess I don’t hang with suburban 40+
Well, it’s gone so nuts that middle aged girl are grinding their cunts against anything they can to see if it still feels…like this lady we shot on a mechanical bull going nuts…like shit was her boyfriend…or at least an awesome vibrator….
Marriage is boring, aging sucks, but not as much as if this goes viral and this postal worker, cashier, mom and granny gets seen in a whole new slutty light….
If you’ve been on my FACEBOOK or if you’ve watched CNN…..you’ll know going to the movie theater has become a pretty fucked up thing…especially when watching Dark Knight opening night, but then again I guess going anywhere is pretty much putting out lives in the hands of assholes who were molested, or rejected, or bullied, or just who hate the world because they can’t afford to live like a Kardashian….you know crazy people, capable of getting guns, unable to determine that Batman isn’t a real fucking person who can save the day, while pulling off acts of extreme violence in what probably took 5 minutes of his day to take 12 lives….
Not to mention, the Dark Knight now has a dark cloud over it that all those people who are pretending to care about the lives lost, will probably not even think about when watching the Dark Knight, because they will be too busy fearing their own lives…or not giving a fuck cuz bad things happen everyday and it is hard to keep up….
But for those of us a little more perverted than G Rated, comic book fan boy shit…and who don’t like leaving the house, there’s always VIVID with the hardcore option…
Anastasia Ashley is a hot surfer chick who I’d love to watch surfing on my wave….of belly fat while she’s trying to find my penis…something I’ve seen countless girls do…but none were ever pro surfers…
Unfortunately she doesn’t answer me when I write comments on her facebook page…or to her twitter…she gets on all the hot Athlete lists, probably has some lame surfer boyfriend she thinks is cool cuz he teaches her moves, you know like girl skaters do with skaters….I heard the Avril Lavigne song, I know how these action sports people work…
Luckily, I know a guy who knows a guy who knows how to hack emails, websites and whatever the fuck else, that will get him arrested, but that gets me hot pics of hot asses on private beaches surfing…She’s fit, I want to chip a tooth on her booty muscle while running away from sharks….cuz no one wants to lose an arm to those fuckers like JESUS LOVING WHICH DID HER A LOT OF GOOD BETHANY HAMILTON …it makes giving double handjobs impossible….
Hey Virgin Loser Nerds….here’s porno that is designed for you…even if not accurate to the Avengers you have on your bed sheets that prevent you from getting laid….it is Avengers XXX and it is put out by my friends a VIVID …more importantly this porn parody looks amazing!
I know what you’re thinking, pornography is the devil’s work, at least according to a very drunk Christian man I met this past year in Las Vegas at the AVN awards, who happened to be in Vegas for unrelated business at the Gun show….He was the kind of guy who felt pornography tempted us to want to do bad things with other women, and that shit ruins families….I tried to explain to him that if he wasn’t a virgin when he got married, and if he wasn’t guilt stricken cuz he slept in the same bed as his wife before they were married, something he wished didn’t happen because it made his wife unpure, but knew God would forgive him for, and if he took his own advice that Jesus forgives all his followers, even murderers, he’d realize that fucking these temptations is fantastic, as long as you take a minute before you die, to beg for Jesus’s forgiveness…It works for me…cuz I’m not the weird oppressed angry drunk freak scared of getting boners….I’m the motherfucker with the boner looking for a place to stick it….
I figure if you’re on this site, you are a chronic masturbator, and this kinda thing nicely balances your porn addiction and your comic book addiction, two things that make your social awkwardness both possible and tolerable….
Karissa Shannon Superstar is right….This clip is fucking amazing….and I can’t wait to see the whole video…which is out next week….LEGENDARY….loving seeing her get her whore hair pulled…genius….
I managed to convince my friend at Vivid to send me a clip from the Karissa Shannon Superstar sex tape….We’ve already seen some of the black on blonde, light bondage, natural lookin’ Playboy body unphotoshopped in these ScreenShots….but I always prefer seeing the real video…
Celebrity Sex Tapes is really what I live for. It is a big reason I have this site. I remember seeing the Pam and Tommy video many years ago and thinking that seeing a bitch from TV fucking is just a genius concept, even if she is just a slut, because now everyone knows she’s one….
It is one of those she has money, she has fame, she doesn’t need to waste her time letting the world see her fuck, but I’m fucking glad she did…and I am sure the inspiration behind this tape, Kim Kardashian feels the same fucking way, there is no way she can say she didn’t want to fuck on camera or have the world see a dick inside her, and there’s no way she’s regretting that shit cuz now she’s the biggest fucking ass, tits and thing in Hollywood….a real fucking money maker…when she’s nothing but a pornstar with strategy and a good PR team….
I don’t know much about this Karissa Shannon bitch, I just know that she’s obviously the uglier of the twins, because the ugly twin is always the insecure twin who does bad things to stand out from the other twin they secretly hate.
I don’t know how they ended up in Playboy, but some sources tell me because they let Hef fuck them up the ass, becasue they were just trashy enough, with fake blonde hair and a novelty that they were twins, young and willing to get through the process…..and who really cares, Playboy fucking sucks, it is dying along with Hef, it is boring and it takes these porn looking chicks and gives them the taste of getting naked, when really they shoulda just started out in porn…
But I guess if they started out in porn, I would have nothing to get excited about, because this sex tape wouldn’t mean shit and it is really all I have going on right now…
It may be desperate, it may be bottom feeding, but it is young pussy getting railed by black cock, and in this Hip Hop era, I see nothing wrong with any of this…even if this Sam Jones III actor turned drug dealer turned attempted rapper and record exec is exploiting this bitch to get himself ahead…shit’s still worth watching…cuz dumb whores even when being used is just as hot as them using themselves to get ahead…
Just remember that after all this hype about her the last month, she still only has 17,000 twitter followers, her’s got 5,800 meaning this Sex Tape may be their only hope…but the good news is that it is still a sex tape, and that’s good enough for me…
These are some pictures stolen from facebook. I assume the person who took the picture was friends with J.Lo, but then she pissed him off, so he decided to try to embarrass her. Or maybe the real J.Lo is actually cool, laid back, into getting medicated and grabbing her own tit, like a date rape victim, only when you take the pictures of this medicated, tit grabbing bitch, you don’t have to worry about it being evidence that comes to haunt you, but instead as a souvenir cuz she did whatever the fuck she’s doing to herself….
I just know, the fact these exist, make me like her a lot more than the hatred I had for her, like real hate…before seeing this picture..
There was a time when this site was a lot less celebrity shit, but no one cared about me harassing girls on myspace and making them famous, or my interviews because they were too long to read, or whatever else I used to do but don’t remember because my memory is fucking shot. I’ve been into straight vodka the last 3 months because my doctor told me that 300 pounds is too heavy and that I will die if I keep gaining my 10 lbs a month and that I need to cut out beer. Now the fun thing about vodka is that shit goes down like water and I can drink about 12 drinks in no time, but once shit hits, it hits me like a ton of fucking bricks all at the same time and I don’t remember conversations I have or stupid shit I do and now that memory loss is working its way into my everyday life. Sometimes I forget to piss when I have to and end up making a little mess that i am too lazy to clean because it always seems to clean itself up on it’s own and I feel like taking my time into something that’s pretty self-sufficient is counter-productive.
Either way, a reader found my stepBOX feature and decided to submit. For those of you who don’t know, I did this shit because girls wouldn’t send me pictures of themselves naked so I’d ask them to draw it. It’s like the Vagina Monologues the picture version and it’s funny to see how people view their genitals. If I was to draw my box and describe it in 10 word or less, it would say “my vagina looks like a penis the size of a clit”. Fuck. That was 11 words. I am not good at this, but then again, I am not good at much, but this girl is because we all like one-finger vaginas more than 2 finger vaginas because they feel better on our clit-sized penises. Cuddles.
So my stepdaughter wanted to go to this A-Trak event that’s happening tonight and I figured I’d email his people to try to get an interview with him. It’s pretty tame and lame because I have no real interviewing skills, so I don’t take offense when he dissed because I am actually embarrassed of putting this up, this is some of my worst shit ever. I just re-read my questions and feel like I must have been watching a lot of Oprah that day, but reality is that Oprah’s even more interesting than me. I feel bad that he actually went through the questions and hope he has a hired helper do it for him, because I really delivered junk on this one…..
For those who don’t know, A-Trak is Kanye West’s DJ and does other non-Kanye stuff.
1 – You are from Montreal and I live in Montreal. Do you think it’s the greatest city ever or have you moved onto bigger and better places like I would if I had money?
Well it’s kinda both, see. Yes I think Montreal is the greatest city ever but I moved to New York a little over a year ago. New York is a bit more stimulating for me, artistically, and the city kinda kicks you in the ass. And it allows me to be closer to a lot of people that I work with. But I love Montreal and every so often I climb up to the top of various mountains and yell that out.
2- You won the DMC when you were 15 years old, you’ve toured ever since. When doing University, kids would be going to the college parties, and you’d be going to Japan for the weekend, do you feel like you’re living the life, or that you missed out on a normal college life?
Once again, I would say it’s both… I’m not gonna turn this into an afternoon special but yeah there’s probably some parts of the college experience (maybe even more so high school) that I missed out on. At the same time there’s a ton of other experiences that I’ve been lucky enough to have that were incredibly enriching. I love what I do and I feel blessed to be able to make a living out of it. It also takes a ton of dedication so you end up missing out on a few keg parties but you gain elsewhere…
3- When you won the DMC you had no idea that DJing and Hip Hop would ever get this big, so you were never after the fame, how do you like having it now that it’s hit?
Right, I wasn’t after the fame, I just followed my passion when I was entering those DJ battles. I guess you can say that some fame has hit but it’s not that simple. I still feel like I’m not where I want to be. So there’s never a point where I just sit back and think “I’ve arrived”. And really, I established my name in the late 90′s as a battle DJ and now, like 8 years later or so, I’m trying to establish a whole other chapter, as a producer/remixer/party DJ/label owner… I feel like a new artist. Even though I know a lot of people from the dues that I paid over the years after doing all those battles, I don’t take that for granted. I constantly compare myself to new artists who are just coming out. Except I actually have a stigma to fight so it’s even more of a fight sometimes. As far as the fame and stardom, believe me, after being in the industry for 12 years you learn to see past that stuff pretty fast.
4- You’re Kanye’s DJ and people tend to hate Kanye, even though he has the number 1 album always. Was it a big deal to you that he chose you to work with, or did you expect it since you’re the best DJ out there?
It really was a big deal that he hired me as his DJ. I knew I could do it, but these things don’t simply fall on your lap even if you’re a good man for the job. I remember thinking, if I could choose what artist I’d like to DJ for, I’d go for Kanye in a heartbeat. This is when the College Dropout had just come out. You gotta realize, when you’re a DJ you can’t just walk up to a rapper and showcase your skills. If you’re a rapper and you run into Russell Simmons, you can just walk up to him a spit a verse. I know, my boy did that once many years ago. DJs can’t just walk to a rapper and be like “dude you gotta see this, just wait here as I plug in my phonograph.” So when an opportunity like that comes along, you thank your lucky stars.
5- Is DJ AM Gayer Than Bicycle Shorts?
Dude you’re crazy. AM is an excellent DJ. And he’s a good friend of mine. But he’s really really really a good DJ. He’s where he is for a reason. And he opened up a lot of doors for DJs like myself, by cutting up records in front of ignorant Hollywood crowds.
6- What is the funniest thing that’s happened to you while on tour or playing gigs are girls all up on your dick and shit ?
What’s up with the “US Weekly” questions? I met OJ Simpson once.
7- What can we expect out of you in the coming months?
I’m working on a few more remixes during the rest of the year. Right now I’m finishing up a remix for Simian Mobile Disco and after that I’m doing one for Boys Noize. This month we’re doing the Fool’s Gold tour of course, which starts in Montreal and then picks up during CMJ week. After that Mehdi and I are heading out to Europe together on our Walkie Talkie Tour. In November the Kanye tour starts overseas. And in general, I’m building the label, lining up a few bigger production projects for the next few months, and trying to learn to take vacations once in a while. I just took one and it was amazing. I’m still peeling from the sunburn, that’s how good it was.
I found out that Paris was going to be hitting up some ChaChi bar in Montreal about a week ago. I thought it would be funny to get myself into the event even though it’s not that funny. So I tried contacting the club involved. They wanted nothing to do with me or the website so I had to think of alternative options….
I was given Paris’ number a long time ago and we used to have a little dialog going. Unfortunately her number was released on the internet and she changed the shit. So I was stuck with Stavros’ number. Now if you don’t know who Stavros is, he is the fuckin’ man. He has banged anyone famous you can think of, from Petra Nemcova, to Lohan to one of the Olsen twins – so I decided to reach out to him…
Now, Stavros has been in my phone for a while, and I constantly send him text messages and he responds. I never understood why, becauseI have told him that I am from drunkenstepfather, and he always seems to ignore what I say. I had no idea how to get into this shit, so I asked him an he put me on the list. He was under the impression that I was his boy MIchael Perez and I just rode that shit home. So as he told me that I was on the list, and I’d ask him under what name and he told me Michael Perez, I just went along with it…
When I got to the club I told them that I was this Michael Perez motherfucker and they didn’t have me on the list, so I wrote Stavros a CURT text message saying that I was gettin dicked around. The dude was wearing overalls and no shirt and made me feel uncomfortable…Within about 15 minutes the owners of the club found me in the group of 100s of people, apologized and brought me inside like I was important, even though I hadn’t showered and was wearing ratty clothes. I was on Paris’ list and they thought I was some Michael Perez motherfucker who was important for whatever reason. I got to the bar, thought it was hysterical cuz everyone in there was showered and good looking, drank as much as I could afford and waited for the night to end. I fell down the stairs to the bathroom and I was rejected when trying to get into Paris’ VIP area, by Paris Hilton. The security dude brought her my cell phone where all the Stavros messages went down, and she looked at it and said that I could join her stupid dance circle.
The whole epxerience was fucking jokes and I kept laughing. I met some black chick who liked roses and some blond chick who thought I was bored and I just drove that shit home
I think the highlight of the night was watching a whole club zone in on Paris and watch her every move. Bitch would dance and everyone in the place would clap like she was Barney. The whole place was focused 100 percent on her. I guess they didn’t notice how handsome I looked.
When I was leaving, I was told Paris hadn’t left, so I waited around to let her know who I was. Not that it got me invited to her hotel room, but it was still funny, and that is the video you see. I will deny that being my voice because the asshole in it sounds jewish and 13, but reality is that we love Paris and Stavros and this is the proof. I am now Michael Perez and you are still an asshole.
So after all is said and done, they still don’t know what this website is or that it exists, but Paris Hilton is 100 percent worth a round, and I would be willing to get herpes for one night in her. I will be tickling my balls with the hand I shook of hers, just after I disinfect it. Paris changed my life, and I am a groupie now…I am pretty easy to win over…all I need is a little booze and some attention…CUDDLES….
UPDATE: I was fucking drunk when editing and writing this post at 5 am. I was out alone and stealing booze off some dudes with gel in their hair’s bottle….I shoulda asked her to bring me back to her hotel to let me lick her asshole. But I forgot. I did feel like a 14 year old girl waiting around to see Paris, but I needed to get something for the site and I wasn’t about to get arrested over the shit, so this is what you get.
If you were looking for a video of me throwing my feces at her, this isn’t it. I am too nice for that. I forgot to tell her I was from Drunkenstepfather.com, I was just trying to get over my big breasted Barmaids big breasts and the fact that people actually care about Paris. Like care so much that there was a crowd outside the place. I was also trying to get over this really rich bald old guy and his entourage of 10 really hot 20 year olds who I can only assume were on Payroll, making me realize that when you have money you can have any pussy you want.
It may look like I was all lined up to meet and greet her, I was just standing outside with some dude from Afghanistan when this went down…harassing random people coming out of the club…but I barely got any of it on video because I was drunk. I did try to hustle a black girl and that was a first for me. It wasn’t a success because some male model type was handing out roses to all the girls and that made all their panties wet, if they were even wearing panties…which made the floor wet…either way, I was upstaged by him and I was only doing it because I figured she wouldn’t mind my stink.
Here’s the rest of my videos from that night I can’t embed the shit…So Click the Link… GO
So I was told that Hilary Duff was in town and I wasn’t about to try to go to her concert because I don’t give a fuck about her, but I did find out where the after party she was probably getting paid big money for was and decided I should try to get some exclusive content because maybe that will make me famous…I guess I could have tried to rape and kidnap her too, I would have been on the news and shit, but I am too pussy to actually do that kind of thing…and I don’t have a car and trying to walk home with some famous bitch you’ve just kidnaped is a good way to get caught. So I email the promoter with some bullshit about how the site is number 1 in montreal, which it was according to the shitty local paper, even though I rigged the results, it still counts to me because they printed it….Bitch tells me that I am in, I tell her that I look homeless and that her shitty club has rejected me a few other times like when Christina Aguilera was there and when some other lame celebrities were there….but Bitch assures me that there will be no problem at all….
Anyway, I get to the event, showered, thinking it will improve my chances, but the bouncer doesn’t want to let me in, I was never on the list and I don’t belong there. I talk my way to getting into the doors and in front of a door girl and I show her my camera saying I am here to take pictures for National Enquirer, now I only have a beat up broken point and shoot I borrowed from my neighbor, and bitch bites, telling me to stay away from the actual party and to stay in the corner where no one can see me…..
I buy a really expensive drink by a pornstar looking bar maid and I wait for Hilary Duff to show up, I have no idea what the deal with the night is, I am just running off some tip someone gave me. I am standing in the middle of the area where no one can see me, and all of a sudden I get thrown out of the way by some huge body guard, I look to see what’s up and there’s Hilary Duff, looking small, haggard and beat up, giggling with her entourage….
I wait around thinking she’s going to get on stage or some shit, but nothing. I listened to some DJ who was trying to be DJ AM, but couldn’t mix for shit and was stuck listening to a bad 80, 90s and Today dance mix that made me want to kill myself or at least for one of the metrosexuals drinking champagne to slip some roofies in my drink to make the site a little more of a success….
A group of 4 people got on stage and started to do some kind of hip hop dance routines. I figured they were locals trying to get noticed by Duff because she was in the room. The bitches were in short skirts and were too fat to be famous, but I figured we’re all allowed to dream and sat and watched as their skirts rode high, asses exposed and dance…then I realized that we were watching Hilary Duff’s fat back-up dancers in all their gayness and I turned on my shitty camera. I somehow managed to miss all the ass shots, I even saw one of the girl’s cunt, because she bent over and her underwear was moved to the side and by the time I realized that that was the main show, it was over.
I chatted up some photographer who was there, tried to convince him to give me his pics, because as the dancers were dancing, Hilary Duff was pretending to DJ her own song that they were dancing to and I missed all the Hilary Duff action…when it all ended Hilary Duff walked by me again, with her entourage and bouncers, and I didn’t have a chance to slip her the love note I had written her, because I figured creeping her out was the best way into her life….
This is the love letter I wrote her:
I know you don’t know me, but I know you. I write about you whenever your nipples are hard, your shorts are too short, your bikini too wet, your panties exposed, or any other embarrassing things you’ve been caught doing on camera. I have even coined you and your sister as the Duffgusting sisters. I know you don’t know me or what I do because only 5 people read my site, but despite thinking you are ugly and talentless and confused as to why you’re more famous than the hotter, tighter, better singer neighbor of mine, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
I think together you could really find happiness and through artificial insemination, because my dick doesn’t work, I could find a solid retirement plan.
Here is the video footage of the dancers:
Here are pictures of her Montreal show, that I ripped off of some girls facebook, because stealing from Hilary Duff fans is like stealing candy from a baby….
There’s a viral video going around the internet and it’s pretty much one of those comedy songs I find lame, set to a video of Lohan or someone who is supposed to be Lohan. Since I love Lohan and do everything I can to get closer to her, I hunted down the girl who played her in the video and she agreed to doing a stepINTERVIEW with me. It was an amazing experience that I may never forget until I get drunk and a new girl who plays Lohan comes along, but in the meantime, I want to make this girl as famous as I can…because I love her.
Here’s the interview….
So you play Lohan in this viral video I saw and decided that I had to interview you, so the question that’s been on my mind for the last week is how did you prepare for the role as Lohan? Did it involve a lot of drinking, drug use and unprotected sex?
I did not take on this role to bash poor Linds, absolutely not! I simply emulated many of her mannerisms and that’s as far as the prep went, thanks. I just figured the more glamorous (yet sexy) with elements of humor, the more tasteful the video would turn out. The minute it crossed the line on being mean or harsh to get a cheap laugh, the video would be trash…but that never happened, yay!
I actually like her a lot and really hope she gets healthy. I think she is a very talented actress (people forget she played 2 characters in a movie at 12 yrs old, talent) BUT at the end of the day, SAD STORY:(
All of these beautiful young starletts are throwing amazing careers away because drugs and alcohol control their lives, leaving them lost and unstable. It’s not our place to pass judgement & it doesn’t make these poor girls bad, wrong, insane, or stupid…they just need HELP, its just SAD.
LFL is a little on the BOLD side with some of the honest statements about Lindsay, but it is a parody, comedy…just laugh, or not. For those who know me it’s hilarious because the true goof in me really shines through!
What can you tell us about Lohan that we don’t already know, since you’ve played her on the internet I can only assume you’re an expert.
Nope, not an expert…
What does she smell like?
Are you comfortable with guys jerking off to you as Lohan?
OMG gross…Okay, this is a comedy boys, where I’m being an absolute nerd…if that get’s dudes off, eew weird! Oh wait, I forgot about the part where I dance in a bra and underwear, oh yeah…but still eeeew! I appreciate all the fans, feedback and love but old, perverted men overly commenting me on myspace or wherever really just gross me out….sorry, hope I haven’t offended anyone;)
All my readers are virgins but, isn’t that kind of like if your boyfriend put a Richard Nixon mask on you while you bang because it’s the only way he can get off…instead of getting of to the Chauntal we all know and love?
Tell us a bit about yourself:
Acting/dancing/singing all my life…I’m a performer, that’s what I do! And I have the most amazing family & friends anyone could ask for. I am truly blessed…so grateful!
Where are you from?
OXNARD, CA whattttt?!
How did you get the part in the Lohan Video?
Ummm some people think I look like her or something HA. No really, I get told I look like her like everyday it’s ridiculous. Don’t think so myself, but whatever. Ultimately, I just kind of nailed the audition process.
Why is your body so tight, do you work out a lot?
I am a dancer, particularly modern day cabaret and hip hop..Yeppp I love my hiphop, that’s the Oxnard in me! That’s how I keep the bod in shape, or “so tight” excuse me. I love hiking also, it’s very theraputic. Good to get away from everyone and just get a sense of mental clarity.
Do you have a boyfriend?
BOYFRIEND??? Shall I say it? Nope, very single and…not really lookin. I like the place I’m at right now. The next guy I decide will be my boyfriend will be the guy I see myself marrying. So what’s that mean, I’m picky? I guess so. Otherwise what’s really the point, you unhappy couples. I’ll wait thanks…I really enjoy my own company & SIs is like my best friend and I have the most amazing group of girls, so I have more than enough love runnin through my life. I am so busy right now, dudes are kinda irrelavent anyway, unless he’s super hot and sweeps me off my feet!;)
I must say though, I am quite attracted to the dangerous type but with a wise mind and sincere heart. Hahaaa does that even exist? But don’t quote me on that, you can never generalize & I change my mind a lot… ooops…
What about washed up fat mexicans with no job and who hate showering, come on baby, tell me what do you let your boyfriend do to you, if you had a boyfriend, that you won’t let me do to you?
I think what I was getting at, is would you meet a dude from the internet?
NEVER…I definitely don’t have a problem meeting dudes, in real life;)
Do you think it’s easier to get an STD from someone you meet online or someone you meet in a club?
Clubs are gross, and the guys online trying to hit on me are the same idiots at the clubs looking to get lucky…bar, strip club, myspace, it’s all the same to them…so either way they all most likely have STDs…”Go Away!”
My readers never leave their mom’s basement, so do you ever go to parks to meet men who promise to buy you candy on the internet? Or are you too old for that?
What would I have to do to convince you to send me nude pics?
AHahaaa go ahead, try finding some but nude pics of me do not exist…never will, trashy. Maybe like Rolling Stones but most nude mags are cheeeeseball!
I kinda like nude pics and take offense to that….What do you have to say to your many, many fans reading on drunkenstepfather.com? All 5 of us are dying to know what can we expect from you in the months to come? Can we expect a Lohan Stage Act?
There a few project in the works right now…I’ve been on overload since the LFL video, crazy! However, you probably won’t be seeing any more Lindsay stuff from me, other than interviews on LFL. I am an actress/performer, working on all different types of projects, not a LiLo lookalike. And I do love comedy more than anything so I hope I can continue to humor you throughout my career. As of right now, music is a main focus.
Would you sleep with me if I could promise you stardom?
Too bad my penis doesn’t work and you are already more famous than me….I think I am in love. Cuddles.
Heres the Video:
Here are some pics:
You can find out more about Chauntal, the girl who played Lohan in the viral video at Chuantal.com – Check Her Out….
I am not sure who this bitch is, but her name is Rachel Nichols and I liked her tits so I decided to post them…
Speaking of unimportant, no name cunts who are trying to break into the scene, I found this bitch named Lauren Hastings on Facebook. She’s the girl who cried about how Lohan stole her clothes or some shit in efforts to get more famous and more shitty modeling jobs…I was talking to her on myspace a while ago trying to get some inside scoop because I am a sleuth detective like that and she wasn’t having it….It turned out that she was DJ AM’s girlfriend after Nicole Richie and has had sex with him despite him being gayer than bicycle shorts….or paddle-surfing….
Either way, I sent her this message
so this girl who has been trying to write the site turns on her webcam and starts masturbating with a vibrator in all kinds of positions til she cums, takes a cigarette break then starts sucking the vibrator off for like an hour and I don’t know what to do because I am kinds tired so I just leave it on in the background and write the occassional “Oh My God…This is Nuts”…then she shoves in back in her for round two and makes herself cum again….
if you’re wondering why i am telling you this….it’s because she’s 5 ft 11 was a model, and since you’re a model for Old Navy, I was like wow – two models in one day spoke to me …. what are the chances….
so she wrote:
So I wrote:
why are you being so rude. I thought we were friends. Are you turning against me? Is it because I want to steal your dirty panties like I was Lohan?
I’ll keep sending you messages baby because I know deep down inside you like them, maybe we can do an interview about DJ AM’s dick or something…
Now here are some pictures of this Rachel Nichols’ tits….