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Archive for the stepNEWS Category

2011

09

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

I think we should focus less on other people and more on ourselves. I mean who really cares about these stories the media has decided is important for us to see and know about. Let’s focus on the news in our lives instead…What’s new with you? OK. That was boring…now I get why we use TV to tune out real life…cuz real life sucks…except when we get to laugh at each other….so here’s the latest in stepNEWS…to start the day cuz I’m all Star Jones in this motherfucker….

On a sidenote, the funniest thing in local news is the anchors…its like where do they find these motherfuckers…weird.

Woman Awarded $250K in STD Cyber Bully Case – Dangerous for me cuz I’m a Cyber Bully….
A Westland woman says that a cyber bully was out to destroy her life, but now she’s getting some justice. How did the woman fight back? She took it to court and won. The jury took her side.

Cadaver Tissue Used in Nose Jobs – Disgusting.
One Houston-area plastic surgeon has developed a unique technique to solve tough cases and correct the mistakes of others.

Police called over bikini-clad zombies – Amazing
ENFIELD, Conn. – Right next to the quiet country road in the quintessential New England town of Enfield lies a secret so shocking it sparked a phone call to police.

Teen Dies after Huffing Dust Cleaner – Genius. Better off getting her highs sexting and fucking older dudes…too late for that idiot.
Friends and family members gathered in Sachse Wednesday night to remember a 17-year-old who died from “huffing.”

Texas Suspect Txt Msgs Deputy, Arrested – Genius
A suspected drug dealer accidentally turned himself in to authorities by text message.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

08

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

Here’s the stepNEWS to start the day….Like a morning show with no audience….I bring it…

Maybe it’ll give you something to strike up conversation with the checkout clerk at the used bookstore you buy your comics at virgin…I mean assuming you leave your house…

Breastfeeding Allowed in Georgia Park and I Hope Someone’s Gonna Make a Site with all the Breast Feeding Videos…
Forrest Park, Georgia recently changed its public indecency ordinance to allow breastfeeding after mothers protested.

Caught on Tape: DC Metro Police Use Force in Arrest
Metro rider William Boykins was on the way home on May 21 when he saw Metro police with two suspects handcuffed and sitting on the platform. Boykins pulled out his iPhone and started recording

2 DC Cops Demoted After Sheen Escort
The Charlie Sheen D.C. Police escort controversy has now led to the demotions of two Metropolitan Police Department officers.

Caught on Tape: Atlanta Braves Pitcher Derek Lowe Arrest
Atlanta police have released video that shows officers interacting with Atlanta Braves’ pitcher Derek Lowe after his recent arrest for DUI.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

06

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

I turned myself off for the weekend. I didn’t read the paper while taking a shit in a public place. I didn’t watch the TVs at the local McDonald’s Cafe I get my free TV, internet and cheap coffee at. I didn’t go on a computer, or use Twitter, except maybe to lure one or two vagina pics…so I have no idea what’s going on in the world, locally or internationally. I’m so self involved and it’s amazing, my only concern is when I can take a fucking nap on a bench, or scrounge up enough money from my wife’s purse to afford me a daytime 40, that will lead to many amazing things, like even me possibly popping up on the news.

Here’s the today’s stepNEWS to catch up. The stuntman clip is retarded.

Sex offender busted for scam
SALEM – Police say a Level 2 Sex Offender went door-to-door scamming people out of donations they thought were going to a cancer charity.

Stuntman Hurt at Atlanta Motor Speedway
A metro Atlanta stuntman is recovering in the hospital after he was badly injured in stunt-gone-wrong at Atlanta Motor Speedway’s Thursday Thunder.

Man Killed Trying to Steal Medical Pot
A Phoenix man who recently was authorized to grow his own marijuana fatally shot a man who tried to steal his pot at gunpoint.

Duck Living at Home Depot
A duck in Maine has made a Home Depot his home for the past month and is refusing to leave.

Teens could go to prison over pic
Final exams started Friday at Hernando High School, but few students were talking about their tests. The buzz was about a text message — what some called “sexting.”

Teens arrested after fight
Police have arrested an 18-year-old in Winter Haven for his involvement in a fight shown on video, which was captured and uploaded online.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

03

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

Here’ latest stepNEWS to start your miserable day…no wait it is Friday and that makes your corporate life exciting, this is the afternoon you wait for, the best day of the week and it is finally here….you pathetic drone…..now let me distract you with stupid news…and send me money for my efforts…drone…

Accused Murderer Uses “Red Bull” Defense
Stephen Coffeen of Florida has admitted to killing his father. Prosecutors say he is insane and will not pursue a murder case against him.

Mother Caught; Accused in Rape of Boy
A Pasadena mother accused of raping her friend’s 12-year-old son almost a dozen times is now behind bars. Police arrested Brandi Fuller, 30, in Hitchcock after receiving a tip from Crime Stoppers. The focus now turns toward DNA; there is an allegation the young boy fathered one of Fuller’s six children.

Women Sue Jail Over Underwire Bra
Two adult women are suing Prince George’s County because of how they were treated while visiting a relative in the local jail. The women say their underwire bras kept setting off the metal detector and a guard told them, “Until you’re clear, you cannot come through here.”

Ex-wife Accused in Home Break-in, Fire
A teacher is accused of breaking into her ex-husbands Fort Bend County home, then starting a fire.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

01

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

The stepNEWS is a very very very very important collection f the days mose amazing news stories that didn’t make it on the national news, that cover such important issues as racism against white people, which I saw last night at the 2 dollar tuesday at KFC, Cops raping, even though all the cops I know just run drugs and hookers and can have you killed off and become a “missing persons”, as they know all the tricks, and people dressing up like nuns to rob a bank, when everyone knows nuns don’t exist anymore, it’s a dated concpet that is only really used as a fetish cuz we like the idea of 80 year old virgins…

The stepNEWS really hits close to home….

Racism Against White People
Do whites suffer more racism than blacks?

MBTA drivers fight, play chicken
CHELSEA – Two MBTA bus drivers are in hot water after engaging in a road rage incident with buses in Bellingham Square.

Former Southgate Cop Accused of Rape
A former Southgate police officer is facing some very serious charges. He’s accused of raping a woman after responding to a call for help at her house.

Pair dressed as nuns rob Chicago bank – HI
CHICAGO – Police were Monday searching for two suspects who robbed a Chicago bank dressed as nuns — in a scene eerily reminiscent of the Ben Affleck movie “The Town.”

Man attacks girlfriend with forklift
A Springfield man will face several charges after allegedly attacking his girlfriend with a forklift.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

31

May

stepNEWS of the Day

I don’t believe in the news….it is just propaganda.

But I do like the local news, mainly cuz I like know who grew the biggest zucchini in every town across America…but also because of all the idiots who go unnoticed cuz real news bumps their stories off the national news…

So that’s why I do this…and because the walmart upskirt guy is hysterical….

Man Charged for Wal-Mart Upskirt Videos
Edwin Bates secretly aimed a video camera up women’s skirts at a North Texas Wal-Mart, police say.

Thousands surround gang fight on Massachusetts beach
S. BOSTON – Authorities say law enforcement officials converged on Carson Beach in South Boston and broke up fights involving youths from rival gangs.

Five People Arrested for Dancing at Jefferson Memorial
A dance-in at the Jefferson Memorial led to five arrests and a violent clash with U.S. Park Police.

Porn Pics Found on ‘The Sims 3′ Website
There was shock for a Maryland Mom who thought she could protect her kids by supervising them online. Then she logged on the simulation computer gaming site “The Sims 3″ and discovered dozens of pornographic images.

Lawsuit seeks $15K for rose thorn prick
A Lake Mary man is suing Winn-Dixie Stores and a flower importer for a finger prick caused by rose thorn.

Man Tells Police Parent’s Ashes in Car (surprising news for his parents)
Police say a Michigan man pulled over by police told them they could not search his car because the ashes of his dead parents were in the middle console.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

26

May

stepNEWS of the Day

The real news of the day is that I got stuck talking to a crazy 90 year old Christian trying to redeem herself of a life of sin by walking around handing out bullshit flyers about the end of the world, fascinated that all dogs came from one breed thanks to Noah, clearly in desperate need of the discovery channel and a solid fuck…

Here is the latest stepNEWs….

Woman attacked with wet swim noodle
A Florida man, apparently angry over a watermelon, is accused of attacking a woman with a swim noodle.

Breastfeeding Moms stage ‘nurse-in’ which is way less ghetto than the pregnant mom I just saw smoking in her locked car with her kids…
In Forest Park, Georgia, moms are mad. They staged a “nurse-in” to protest a new city ordinance forbidding mothers from breastfeeding children age 2 and older in public.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

25

May

stepNEWS of the Day

I don’t know why you’re reading this….It’s official Planking day today…I mean shit…shouldn’t you be off your computer and Planing your Planking….

Here is the stepNEWS….probably not the best weird news on the internet…but it’s good enough for me…

Transgender Woman Attacked….Cuz Transgendered women are weird….

A 32-year-old Fredericksburg, Va., transgender woman is recovering from a beating outside a 7-Eleven on Fall Hill Avenue last Saturday. According to police, at least three people began to argue with and then attacked the victim.

Utah passes ‘too sexy’ law and I’m Guilty as Charged…
Be careful how you act in Utah because acting too sexy could get you arrested

Dentist accused of battering 85 yr old
Virginia Graham says her Deltona dentist battered and bruised her and tried to steal her dentures, so she bit him.

Transsexual Widow Loses in Court Cuz transgendered People are Weird
Nikki Araguz, the transsexual widow of a Wharton County firefighter, will not get a dime from Thomas Araguz’s death benefits.

Coins Stolen from Park Fountain
Police are trying to figure out who stole all the coins from a decorative fountain in a Marietta city park.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

24

May

stepNEWS of the Day

I think the most fucked news of the day is that dead baby portrait on twitter.

Fucked up.

But the GUY CAUGHT MASTURBATING ON A UNITED FLIGHT is pretty good too..

And so are these stories….

That’s what being the premiere news source on the internet does to someone….at least that’s what I’d assume, but I’m not the premiere anything on the internet…except maybe a failure…but that’s not news and this is the stepNEWS is all about……

Study: ‘Sexing Up’ Girls Clothes
You’ve heard the saying, “Sex Sells,” but did you ever think it would apply to clothes marketed toward toddlers?

Facebook Info At Issue in Assault Case
Attorneys for a metro Atlanta man charged with groping a passenger on a Delta flight want to use personal information from the alleged victim’s Facebook page in his defense.

Obama’s Limo Gets Stuck in Ireland
President Obama’s motorcade hit a snag Monday as it pulled out of the U.S. Embassy in Dublin.

Disabled Man Injured During Arrest
Disturbing video has surfaced of an arrest outside a DC Metro station. Two Metro Transit Police officers spotted a man in a wheelchair drinking a beer outside the U Street station Thursday.

Alleged Rapist Lured Women with Jobs
There’s a man being held without bond in the Parker County jail who investigators believe is a serial rapist. They say he’s a con artist who dangled the prospects of a high paying job to prey on women.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

23

May

stepNEWS of the Day

I slept in today. It happens when you drink until 8 in the morning. It is a holliday here, not that that makes a difference in my life, but at least the bars were filled with 9-5 pussy that normally stays sober on Weeknights…not that it made a difference to me…other than give me something to stare at…good times…

Lucky for you, I didn’t die…and here I am with the news.

Man robbed homes, church with kids
BRIDGEWATER – Police arrested a man for breaking into a church with his 11-year-old son and they say it’s not the first time he brought his kids along with him during a robbery.

Cops: Pastor Raped Woman He Met at a Bar
A North Texas minister is in a West Virginia jail charged with sexual assault. And it’s not the first time he’s faced similar charges.

Drive By Purse Snatching Caught on Tape
A woman who was standing by her car at a Virginia gas station became the victim of a drive-by purse snatching. The whole crime was caught on camera.

Caught on Tape: Ohio Officer Attacked by Suspect
An Ohio Police officer was forced defend himself when he was attacked by a suspect. The whole incident was caught on camera.

Workers Assault FOX 4 Photographer
A FOX 4 News photographer was assaulted Wednesday afternoon covering a story about health concerns at a grocery store. And it was all caught on camera.

City Worker Fired Over Sex Act
A supervisor in the City of Atlanta Public Works Department has been fired, after he was discovered having sex in a city vehicle while on city time.

Starbucks Suspect Accused of Stalking
Police say a Southern California man suspected of planting a camera in a Starbucks restroom confessed to stalking a woman and stealing her worn underwear.

No Ruling In Transgender Widow’s Case
Despite hours in the courtroom, there is still no ruling in a high-profile case. The family of Thomas Araguz wants to stop his widow from collecting benefits after Thomas, a Wharton firefighter, was killed battling a blaze less than a year ago.

Caught on Tape: Melrose clerk fights off robber with crowbar

Missing Bosnain Model’s Body Found
The body of a missing Bosnian woman with ties to Detroit is found in the Chicago River. 25-year-old Irma Sabonovic disappeared last Tuesday after getting lost on her way to a Chicago nightclub. Her friends here in Detroit helped raise thousands of dollars in reward money with the hopes of finding her.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

20

May

stepNEWS of the Day

I’m sure this isn’t all the news going on out there. I’m sure there are more idiots on local news than a site could handle. But this is all I’m posting for today’s stepNEWS…

Pretending Boys” Prey On Girls Online
Chat rooms and the like are filling up with boys pretending to be girls to get them to send compromising images and videos, tricking them into trusting the wrong people. Yeah sorry about that….but it works….too bad they are onto me….

Woman Says Cop Sexually Assaulted Her
A Pennsylvania woman dropped a bombshell on Lower Merion Township commissioners at a town meeting.

Preacher Jailed in Jamaica over Bullet
It was supposed to be a peaceful vacation for a 26-year-old preacher and his 22-year-old wife, but things turned for the worst when customs officials in Jamaica found a .22-caliber bullet in his bag.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

19

May

stepNEWS of the Day

Here’s the latest news…cuz the world is a horrible, yet funny fucking place, for example this morning I woke up to a note on my door that read “Where did you put my lilac bush? Give it back?”….I live in a cement yard of a housing project…in the fucking basement…we don’t do lilac bushes here you crazy fuck….that said…here are the stepNEWS clips of the day, to keep the 3 last readers up to speed on what’s going on out in that dark scary place…

Skateboard Shooting Victim Speaks Out
The family of the 15-year-old Lusby, Md. boy who was shot in the leg by an angry neighbor said his son Scotty is in the hospital with a titanium rod that extends from his hip to his knee

Drive By Purse Rober

Exchange of Money, Sex Scandal in GA County
Former County Executive Jack Johnson’s guilty plea Tuesday unsealed a wealth of new information, suggesting people at all levels of government exchanged their influence for money, sex and other gifts.

Sex Trafficking a Larger Problem in Tennessee
Shelby County has one of the highest rates of child trafficking in the state.

Michigan Teen Arraigned on Intimidation Charge
A Birmingham Seaholm High School senior was arraigned and released on $20,000 bond Wednesday after being charged with one count of ethnic intimidation.

NH Girl suspended over Osama Facebook post
The mother of a 13-year-old New Hampshire girl says she’s upset her daughter was suspended from school for five days for posting on Facebook that she wished Osama bin Laden had killed her math teacher.

MI lottery winner still on welfare

Police Investigate eBay Sale of Toddler
Did a Michigan woman really offer a two-year-old for sale on eBay? She now says she was not serious about the offer but she did accept a tongue-in-cheek bid from one man.

Protestor Dumps Glitter on Gingrich
Two possible GOP presidential candidates got together in one room in Minneapolis to speak about reconnecting faith, family and freedom on Tuesday — but not without a little bedazzling after a protestor tossed glitter on Newt Gingrich at a book signing.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

18

May

stepNEWS of the Day

I’ve decided I’m going to be the Huffington post of sleazy, weird and bizarre news. This is my half ass start to it, even though I started this shit 6 years ago, but it doesn’t count cuz no one has noticed me…except maybe for my whining…

IT’s the End of the World – FINALLY!

Believers say Saturday is the end of the world
It’s just about the biggest, boldest prediction anyone could make, but the 89-year minister behind the May 21 doomsday campaign says he has no doubt that the world is ending on Saturday. He wants everyone to know and get ready for the Rapture.

This is hilarious…IMF Head to Claim Consent in Sex Attack
International Monetary Fund (IMF) chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s defense attorney looks set to claim the French politician’s alleged assault on a Manhattan hotel maid was actually a consensual sexual encounter, the New York Post reported Tuesday.

Woman sues Chuck E. Cheese over games
SAN DIEGO – Is Chuck E. Cheese really just a casino for kids?

Loudness on train leads to arrest
SALEM, O.R. – Silence may be golden, but loudness could land you in jail….a loud fat black lady – no way!? Must be racism.

Pervert Sex Offenders Beware – New Facebook bill – Cuz the Internet is Getting Controled by the man….
A new bill could force Facebook and other social networking sites to allow parents to police their children’s pages or face fines of up to $10,000.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

17

May

stepNEWS of the Day

I’m like Peter Jennings or that gay guy from the morning show in this bitch, or Barbara Walters but with a smaller dick. It’s like I’m a fucking investigative journalist, something I always knew I was good at when it came to scoping out weird porn, but now it is a skill I’ve brought to the mainstream, even though I don’t actually actively search for the stepNEWS, they are just mailed into me, but I’m allowed to pretend I work and have skills, it is important for my low self esteem and self worth….

FL Teen says she was attacked at school
Lake Mary High School student Christina Martinez says she was attacked by another teenager nearly two weeks ago

Cops Probe Alleged Plot To Sicken Kids
Police in suburban Philadelphia are investigating an alleged plot to sicken children on a school trip and then sue for damages.

Relaxation brownies, perfectly legal
There are brownies out there that promise to make you feel very mellow — but the ingredients aren’t what you might think.

Vatican releases new abuse directive
VATICAN CITY – The Vatican is coming under heavy criticism after releasing new directives about how to handle clergy sex abuse.

Push to ban sex at home during divorce
BOSTON – A new bill on Beacon Hill would ban parents from engaging in sexual relationships within the home until their divorces are final.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

16

May

stepNEWS of the Day

You know – I make fun of these idiots on the stepNEWS, but I never take the time to really appreciate what they do to get on the news, like the dude who told his employers that his wife had cancer and they paid him 7,000 dollars, before his cunt wife ratted him out, I mean shit, that plan was almost genius, but I guess the key word is genius, and I guess this really just shows us the fine line between half retarded and being smart…. this is the stepNEWS…we’re not here for smarts…I am here to celebrate retardism….

Man lied about wife dying from cancer
Police say a Greenville, N.H. main deceived his employer of thousands of dollars under the guise that his wife was dying of cancer.

Man Accused of Burning Ex Stays in Jail
The man accused of setting his ex-girlfriend on fire made a court appearance Thursday morning. Cobb County police say 25-year old Morgan Yarbrough of Powder Springs surrendered Wednesday after spending hours on the run.

Teacher accused of stealing markers
34-year-old Carl Howard, a Florida teacher, was caught shoplifting $800 worth of art markers.

Pornography Found In Bin Laden Hideout
U.S. officials say a stash of pornography was found in Osama bin Laden’s Pakistan hideout raided by Navy Seals.

Tattoo Artist Faces Child Sex Charges
A southeastern Pennsylvania man accused of trading a tattoo for sex with an underage girl now faces sex charges involving more than a dozen other children as young as 4 years old, many of them the children of friends and girlfriends.

Woman run over by beach patrol
A woman was run over by a Volusia County Beach Patrol vehicle Friday morning at Daytona Beach.

One on one with Katy Perry’s parents
Their daughter is living a teenage dream with fireworks and they are in central Florida to bring their Evangelist message to teens and parents.

Caught on Tape: Ox stuck in clothing store, breaks out

Posted in:stepNEWS