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Archive for the stepNEWS Category

2011

01

Jul

stepNEWS of the Day

One of my favorite things in the news, other than the stupidy of the people in the news, or more importantly the insignificance of the story in the grand scheme of things in the world in local news…is the news anchors…they are almost clown-like in the way they communicate, talking heads reading prompters in efforts to keep an upbeat engaging sound they’ve practiced so hard to have, that almost makes them sound like they are mocking the news….and sometimes…we get gems like this…where they are just actually human and mocking the news…news blooper reels are my porn….


TO SEE THE NEWS CLIP
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

30

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

Here’s some ridiculousness going on in the news…cuz the news is porn to me…at least it was that year I was a reclusive, never left the house, and just sat around all day masturbating to he one channel I had on TV thanks to the internet not being invented yet….But I’m not posting thes for the sex appeal…I’m doing it for the love of keeping you up to date on stories that probably don’t go national…cuz local news, like a low budget, joke that it is…is always amazing.

Body goes unnoticed in public pool – She’s Black – I Don’t Think it was an “Unnoticed” situation….if you know what I mean….
FALL RIVER – The body of a Fall River woman was discovered floating in a state run pool late last night, two days after she apparently drowned in that same pool.

Turtles Cause Flight Delays at JFK Airport
Flight delays at JFK Airport on Wednesday morning were being blamed on turtles wandering onto the runway.

Man Robs Walmart of Ammunition, Beer
A Walmart store in Arizona is robbed at gunpoint, but it wasn’t money the suspect wanted — it was hundreds of rounds of ammunition.

Officer admits to smuggling drugs
NORFOLK – A prison officer in charge of upholding the law has admitted to breaking it.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

29

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

here’s the latest stepNEWS cuz sometimes I dress up in pantsuits, get my hair and make up did, and pretend I’m on a morning show….it’s strictly for masturbation purposes…but lucky you get the stepNEWS out of it…

I don’t now what I’m talking about….

Man Accused of Inappropriate Touching
Peoria Police are looking for a man who inappropriately touched two young girls inside of a Dollar Tree store.

Michigan Mom: Breastfeeding Brouhaha on the Bus
A mother with a newborn says she got caught up in a breastfeeding brouhaha. The Taylor woman claims a bus driver tried to give her the boot for feeding her baby on board.

Last Effort for Anti-Groping Bill
The Texas House will get a chance vote on a bill that would criminalize inappropriate, invasive searches by federal employees, even though the chances of it passing are a long shot.

Mom ‘Too Drunk’ to Pick Up Kid at School
A St. Paul woman has been charged with two counts of second-degree DWI after trying to pick up her daughter from Monroe Elementary School with a .30 blood-alcohol content, nearly four times the legal limit.

Man Hit by Car, Dies in Passenger Seat
Investigators say a driver was so intoxicated that he struck a man walking along the Gulf Freeway with his Mazda 626 and never realized the victim’s body fell into the passenger side of the car.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

28

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

I am just doing my part to remind you that the end of the world is on pace to hit probably sooner than later because the world is filled with fucking morons and morons have a tendency to ruin all things good….like the world……

I mean just go to a frat party and you will see lots of free booze you’d rather not be drinking because it means you have to associate with these assholes and their topless, homoerotic, annoying antics….and that’s just the tip of the fucking iceberg of morons…I mean shit is layers and layers deep…it is part of the reason i don’t leave my house…for fear a moron may do something moronic and shit ends up murdering me….not that what I think actually matters…either way, here’s me doing the Barbara Walters…

Audio: Sex Trade Victim Hides from Pimp
We’re hearing a chilling 911 call from a 15-year-old girl who feared for her life. She got into a fight with her alleged pimp over money.

‘Flash robs’ plan group robberies
Recently, in big cities around the country, the intent of some flash mobs has not social or entertainment, but rather criminal. Kids are getting together for “flash robs,” and law enforcement agenicies here in the Bay Area are working to prevent them.

Breastfeeding DC Cops Face New Rules
Breastfeeding cops are back on the street thanks to a new DC Police policy. Binding body armor and less than satisfactory lactation rooms have the union filing a complaint. The Metropolitan Police Department previously put pregnant and breastfeeding police officers on desk duty.

Caught on Tape: Teen falls from top of escalator while goofing off
A local 18-year-old learns the hard way that you shouldn’t ride the handrail of an escalator.

Caught on Tape: Sharks Jumps Surfer in at Florida Beach
Video from New Smyrna Beach, Florida show a shark jumping and spinning out of the water and over a surfer.

TSA pats down woman, removes diaper
A 95-year-old cancer patient says she feels violated after TSA agents forced her to remove her adult diaper during airport screening in Florida.

Alien Flying Over London – I Think It’s a Marketing Campaign for a Movie….Or the End of the Fucking World….We are not alone…..

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

24

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

I’m a firm believer in “why watch the news, when you can make the news”….all you really have to do is something ridiculously stupid, and the camera crews will be there to document it, the police will be there to arrest you, and you will have all the glory….that you’ll probably regret wanting when you first get prison raped in the showers.

Here’s the news….to bring some culture and current affair knowledge to your shitty life….maybe you can talk to your online friends about it….

Boy, 7, Goes for a Drive, Caught on Tape
A 7-year-old Michigan boy barefoot and in pajamas drove a car for 20 miles, sometimes hitting speeds of 50 mph, before finally slowing down and stopping with the help of police.

Mean Mom Accused of Violating Probation
A neighborhood feud in Trenton that made national headlines is making news again. Jennifer Petkov, the woman accused of taunting neighbors, including a dying little girl, is now accused of violating her probation.

32 arrested in Lake County sex-sting.
Thirty-two men are behind bars after being caught in an undercover sex-sting operation. The Lake County Sheriff’s Office announced the arrests Tuesday.
People need to not be sex offenders in Florida.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

23

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

I listened to the news yesterday cuz I don’t have a TV so I stick to Radio and I found out a dude robbed a bank for $1 cuz he heard there was free healthcare in prison. Pretty genius stunt, he shoulda filmed it and put it on VIMEO, he’d be a hipster legend….I also heard a women got her eyes poked out and her nose bit off by her husband when she went back home to see him…the stepNEWS is way more hardcore than those stories…we go big here….and by we I mean me cuz I’m all alone…

Man Robbed Bank for Just a Dollar….

New Group of Racists in America…..?

Race In America: New Group Of Racists?: MyFoxPHILLY.com

Woman Walks Through Market Holding a Severed Head
GET THE NEWS

Real Life ZOmbie – Bitch Comes ALive After Being Dead for 25 Minutes
GET THE NEWS

Gangster The Departed was Based on – Gets Busted after 16 Years
GET THE NEWS

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

22

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

I spent the better part of the morning texting into a radio station while drunk/dunn driving and I was very hurt that they wouldn’t read my comments out loud…I’m always fucking censored…bastards….they didn’t like my opinion of a murdering HIV positive Hep C criminal not getting his meds by the prison cuz they cost 30,000 a year, where I wrote “Let him die like the scum murdering faggot shit he is”….they didn’t like me calling the member of a band they were interviewing a pedophile cuz I know a girl he seduced by promising her a record deal when she was 15…and they didn’t like my comments about the Goose problem on the East Coast when people were all upset they are killing them off, when I asked them to mail me the Goose corpse to fuck….

I guess they didn’t realize I risked my life to get those words of wisdom to them… I guess along with you, they think my opinion is shit…

Amish Man Arrested for Soliciting a Minor….Not a Miner….Car Slams into a 7-Eleven

5 foot 5 Bandit

That’s enough news…fuck the news….bring the tits….

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

21

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

Here’s the stepNEWS…a real crowd pleaser…I mean this is the foundation of this fucking site…everyone goes nuts over the shit…Just last week one person liked it on Facebook. One fucking person….sure you can laugh at that…but a revolution starts with one person…I anxiously await this hitting mainstream…watch out cuz it’s coming…or not.

Butt Injection Death Case On Hold
More than four months after an aspiring British actress died in Philadelphia following silicone injections to enhance her buttocks, there’s still no final cause of death and no ruling on whether this was a homicide.

Video shows officers taking school food
WORCESTER — Worcester State University’s police chief said three officers on the overnight shift who used their security keys to get free food from a campus cafe will not be punished.

Heil Scotland

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

20

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

Here’s the stepNEWS because I’m like a morning show…no one watches me…but when they do they are usually pissed off that they are up at that time and doing what they are doing…why can’t you just be happy here motherfucker…

Fight at court house
A fight broke out early Friday morning at the Orange County courthouse among people waiting in line for tickets to view the Casey Anthony trial.

Panhandler arrested for robbery – love the lead in on this story…
The Pasco Sheriff’s Office has arrested a panhandler they say demanded money from a woman, and blocked her car from leaving the parking lot until she gave it to him.

Memphis Moms Hold Breastfeeding Sit-In – Breast feeders unite cuz it’s porno to me
Some Memphis women brought their babies to the Social Security office and held a breast feeding sit-in Friday. One mother was told earlier in the week she could not feed her baby in the waiting area, and called it a violation of her rights.

Man Accused of Videotaping Neighbors
Authorities say a Hampton man accused of videotaping his neighbors at night through open blinds is behind bars. Police say they’re currently combing through the video allegedly shot by James Kelly and trying to identify the victims.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

17

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

Here is the stepNEWS…sure it could be better, crazier, racier, more exciting news that fucks your fucking mind, but people don’t watch the shit anyway, if anything, they just complain about it…

Employee Fired For Homophobic Comments – Cuz Gays are The Star of ANarchy…
Safeway has fired a store clerk for homophobic remarks made last weekend. The comments were made at the store on 4th Street in southwest D.C.

Police: Massage Therapist Went Too Far
A warrant is out for a Houston massage therapist who allegedly went too far.

Caught on Tape: Weiner Called Pervert On Live TV – Cuz He shoulda just sent fake cock shots like I do….
As Rep. Anthony Weiner quit Congress on live TV on Thursday, he was heckled by a man who called Weiner a “pervert” as he announced his resignation.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

16

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

The stepNEWS would be gay if it fucked news of the same gender. I don’t know what that means…but I know that shit’s not gay at all…it’s real life motherfuckers, embrace it….

Even though the real news that is making me laugh are these pictures from Vancouver’s Hockey Riot, I mean shit some of these looting fans are fucking idiots letting the press take pictures of them clearly breaking the law, it’s like motherfuckers should have just arrested themselves, which brings up a very important point, if you loot, wear a mask…

That said, here’s the rest of the stepNEWS to start your day at noon cuz you’re as lazy as me….

Man Files Lawsuit For Manicure Charge
A Maryland man who was charged $1 more for a manicure than women has filed a lawsuit for $200,000 claiming sex discrimination.

Spanx for men hit the market – How Humiliating…
Spanx is a $350 million business built on shapewear that makes you look slimmer. Now the woman behind this new girdle empire is targeting men.

Man Billed After Trapped in Elevator
Mahmoud Dweib and his 4-year-old son went to Methodist Hospital in the Medical Center to see his newborn son back in Aug. 6, 2010.

Man Cusses Out FOX 26 News Crew

Cap Metro Releases Video of Assault
On Wednesday Capital Metro released surveillance video of an assault on one of its drivers.

Weiner Stripper Speaks Out – Cuz Porn Bitches Need Publicity when it hits Too….
A former porn actress and stripper says New York Rep. Anthony Weiner asked her to lie about their online communications. Ginger Lee spoke at a news conference Wednesday in Manhattan with celebrity attorney Gloria Allred.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

14

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

Here’s some stepNEWS to keep your ignorant ass semi-cultured and socially aware, I mean if you consider a mall cop running a prostitution ring a cultural experience….which conveniently, I do….but not as much of a cultural experience as the teacher buying her student a sex toy…genius….

Mall Cop Arrested, Prostitution of Girl
A security guard at Westfield Wheaton Mall is accused of running a prostitution business. Police say Cooper Kweme admitted to walking around the mall trying to lure young women.

Child Abuser Founded Girls’ School
A Delaware charter school in danger of closing has found out its founder is a convicted child abuser.


Teacher Accused of Sex with Student
A Pasadena teacher is a wanted man after investigators say he had sex with a student at his home and in the classroom.

Man Ordered to Apologize on Twitter – This Scares me…
A judge orders a man to apologize online, for harsh words he used about a company.

Kids Caught Tossing Rocks Off Overpass
A high speed prank on the freeway could have ended in tragedy. Kids throwing rocks off an I-96 overpass messed with the wrong driver down below. Learn what the driver did that led to these bratty kids getting busted.

Police: Teacher Gave Student Sex Toy
A high school teacher faces charges for allegedly giving a student a “sex device” on school property and having inappropriate conversations with her, Montgomery County authorities say.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

10

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

Here’s the stepNEWS…..

Caught on Tape: Customer Traps Robbers, Gets Shot
A Good Samaritan spent the morning in the hospital after trying to stop robbers in their tracks.

Size Stops Woman from Boarding Flight
A Texas woman was prevented from boarding a Southwest Airlines flight because of her size. But she claims her weight has never been an issue before.

Priest steals money for porn addiction
A Haverhill priest will not serve jail time for stealing thousands of dollars from his church.

Mom gives 7-yr-old daughter enhancements
A British mom who is a self-confessed ‘plastic surgery addict’ is catching heat for the gift she gave her young daughter.

Dozens Arrested at Graduation Party
A high school graduation party ended with the arrest of 29 people in Alpharetta. The parents of the teen who threw the party were also charged with kidnapping for forcing partygoers to hide throughout the house.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

09

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

I think we should focus less on other people and more on ourselves. I mean who really cares about these stories the media has decided is important for us to see and know about. Let’s focus on the news in our lives instead…What’s new with you? OK. That was boring…now I get why we use TV to tune out real life…cuz real life sucks…except when we get to laugh at each other….so here’s the latest in stepNEWS…to start the day cuz I’m all Star Jones in this motherfucker….

On a sidenote, the funniest thing in local news is the anchors…its like where do they find these motherfuckers…weird.

Woman Awarded $250K in STD Cyber Bully Case – Dangerous for me cuz I’m a Cyber Bully….
A Westland woman says that a cyber bully was out to destroy her life, but now she’s getting some justice. How did the woman fight back? She took it to court and won. The jury took her side.

Cadaver Tissue Used in Nose Jobs – Disgusting.
One Houston-area plastic surgeon has developed a unique technique to solve tough cases and correct the mistakes of others.

Police called over bikini-clad zombies – Amazing
ENFIELD, Conn. – Right next to the quiet country road in the quintessential New England town of Enfield lies a secret so shocking it sparked a phone call to police.

Teen Dies after Huffing Dust Cleaner – Genius. Better off getting her highs sexting and fucking older dudes…too late for that idiot.
Friends and family members gathered in Sachse Wednesday night to remember a 17-year-old who died from “huffing.”

Texas Suspect Txt Msgs Deputy, Arrested – Genius
A suspected drug dealer accidentally turned himself in to authorities by text message.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

08

Jun

stepNEWS of the Day

Here’s the stepNEWS to start the day….Like a morning show with no audience….I bring it…

Maybe it’ll give you something to strike up conversation with the checkout clerk at the used bookstore you buy your comics at virgin…I mean assuming you leave your house…

Breastfeeding Allowed in Georgia Park and I Hope Someone’s Gonna Make a Site with all the Breast Feeding Videos…
Forrest Park, Georgia recently changed its public indecency ordinance to allow breastfeeding after mothers protested.

Caught on Tape: DC Metro Police Use Force in Arrest
Metro rider William Boykins was on the way home on May 21 when he saw Metro police with two suspects handcuffed and sitting on the platform. Boykins pulled out his iPhone and started recording

2 DC Cops Demoted After Sheen Escort
The Charlie Sheen D.C. Police escort controversy has now led to the demotions of two Metropolitan Police Department officers.

Caught on Tape: Atlanta Braves Pitcher Derek Lowe Arrest
Atlanta police have released video that shows officers interacting with Atlanta Braves’ pitcher Derek Lowe after his recent arrest for DUI.

Posted in:stepNEWS