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Archive for the stepTV Category

2007

08

Jul

I am – Jazzy Pants Dance of the Day

I was watching some dude dancing in the street with his girl the other night when I was walking by. I thought it was a little embarrassing or weird to ask your girl for a dance when there was no music and a lot of pedestrian traffic. It was like they didn’t give a fuck about us and their overly happy world was one giant fucking dance floor, letting us all how much better their lives are than ours and not letting us forget that the whole world isn’t our dance floor, we have places to go that we don’t want to go and we’re not prancing our way there and we have people we have to go with who can barely fucking get out of bed, let alone dance. It was kinda like a skinny kid sitting on a bench outside the gym eating box of donuts next to a fat guy who just walked out of the gym because he doesn’t want a heart attack and is trying to make the right choices in life.

Either way, I don’t even know how to dance and if I did, I’d save it for broadway and international dancing success, maybe a role in Stomp the Yard 3 or Dirty Dancing – Gutter Slut Nights. I wouldn’t waste my talent on the street.

This is a video of some dude dancing on the street in NYC, he’s not the same guy I saw because I live in Montreal, but he’s fucking awesome and his dance doesn’t piss me off in a “I’m so in love” kinda way, it screams I do shit alone and I don’t give a fuck, that’s why I wear me some Jazzy Pants.

Posted in:Dancing|stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

22

Jun

I am – Juggling Man of the Day

I am all for showcasing talent on my website, even when that talent creeps the fuck out of me. I don’t know what turns a person into a juggler, but I am glad to know that there are some people out there who see a set of balls and grab them and teach themselves how to use them properly.

I remember hearing about a jugglers club a while ago, where a group of street people and hippy freaks would get together on friday nights to train and master the art of juggling. I was tempted to tip off the FBI because I am pretty sure that a man who juggles is a man who may be inclined to diddle little boys.

I am not saying that this dude is a ped, I wouldn’t want to get sued, I am just saying that maybe he likes hanging out with kids a little too much and from what I’ve been told, being able to dazzle them with a solid juggle is much more effective than asking them if they like candy or if they want to come see your puppy.

That said, here’s Mr Juggle Man, seen on the streets locally but I am sure you can book him to perform at kids birthday parties, school activity days, maybe even hire him as a babysitter or for your bachelor party, if you’re into this kind of thing. Remember there is nothing funny about pedophiles or abusing little kids and I am sure this dude’s a nice talented guy but there is something funny about a grown man who juggles….and he’s just going have to come to terms with that.

I put this song in the video because of that annoying juggling viral video that was huge a year ago. It’s my attempt at being funny. I never said I was good at it.

Posted in:Juggler|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

19

Jun

I am – Guy Getting Arrested of the Day

I feel uninspired. I haven’t been doing much leaving the house and I haven’t been seeing anything all that funny outside the house and I’ve told you all the stories I can remember and celebrities bore the fuck out of me. So I decided to start the day with a video of some dude getting arrested that I took this weekend while walking wasted down the street. I don’t know what happened, I was just in the right place at the right time and when I came home I checked out the video and saw a huge set of tits in it, making it even more amazing.

If you don’t speak french, the cop says “let go of him” and the chick crying is crying about me taking pictures because I was laughing and drunk and the whole incident was so fucking weird because I was just standing there one second and the cops rushed the dude the next. I am just happy it wasn’t me.

Point of the post is that I bring you the hard hitting news like I was Barbara Walters, only she’s got hotter tits than me. Speaking of tits, I found the boob appreciation group on facebook where 900 pictures of people’s boobs have been uploaded. Check it out if facebook is your thing, you may find an internet girlfriend or someone you went to grade school with who’s turned into a total whore since the second grade and she’s willing to show you what 20 years of life has done to her….Get on it.

Posted in:Arrested|Drunk|stepTV|Tits|Unsorted

2007

15

Jun

I am – Poor Ladies Picking Up Cans of the Day

I am feeling really uninspired. There are no good pictures for me to write about. I am still hungover and I don’t have much to say. I had this video lying around from a few months ago and figured that it is worth posting now. I don’t think poor people collecting cans to make some money to feed their families is all that funny, but on a nice day the day before your weekend I figure I should try to take you down a notch from your perfect little world. A little back story is that these women went crazy on me for taking the video, they kept calling me a dirty son of a bitch and I ran away from them like the pussy I am. I figure since they had no shame in picking up people’s trash, they’d probably have no shame in jabbing a broken bottle in my neck or some shit. I didn’t get that part on vide, but I’m not good at this shit so this will have to do. Enjoy your weekend and spending your hard earned money on things you don’t really mean on the beautiful summer days. Asshole.

Posted in:Homeless|Poor|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

13

Jun

I am – Daydreamin’ of a Guy and His Cardboard Sign of the Day

I realized that I can’t really keep up with all the other celebrity sites. I’ve been in the game longer but haven’t been able to break through because there are losers out there who are faster and better at this shit than me. I remember when I was the only site that I knew of exploiting the Phun.org celebrity forum for nip slips and bikini pics and shit, and now every motherfucker and his retarded sister is doing it faster than me. I guess this site is destined for failure but I can’t seem to give this bitch up. I am not really complaining, I am just saying….whenever I get like this I just slip into a daydream about some jackass trying to promote his garage sale on the corner of a busy intersection with a cardboard sign on his head, because the fact that he has no shame is inspiring to me….

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

13

Jun

I am – Daydreamin' of a Guy and His Cardboard Sign of the Day

I realized that I can’t really keep up with all the other celebrity sites. I’ve been in the game longer but haven’t been able to break through because there are losers out there who are faster and better at this shit than me. I remember when I was the only site that I knew of exploiting the Phun.org celebrity forum for nip slips and bikini pics and shit, and now every motherfucker and his retarded sister is doing it faster than me. I guess this site is destined for failure but I can’t seem to give this bitch up. I am not really complaining, I am just saying….whenever I get like this I just slip into a daydream about some jackass trying to promote his garage sale on the corner of a busy intersection with a cardboard sign on his head, because the fact that he has no shame is inspiring to me….

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

08

Jun

I am – Steve Aoki Does Montreal of the Day

So I wrote a bit about my night at the shitty high end club with people who think they are high end because they have rich parents or good jobs and don’t mind spending 1000 dollars a night on bottles of Grey Goose for their friends and women who like to hang out with guys who spend 1000 dollars a night on booze because they to drink for free in what they think is a classy place because it costs 10 dollars a drink. What they don’t realize is that the staff and patrons of the bar and the music they go crazy for is all shit and none of them have a fucking clue.

The big disappointment of the night was when a girl in a really short skirt was dancing on stage with her ass hanging out and I thought I was recording it but turned out I wasn’t. I had 3 minutes of bitch’s ass cheeks bouncing up and down…but drinking made me forget to record…..Motherfucker.

Bonus – This Girl Made Me Delete a Picture of Her and I Hate When People Tell Me What To Do, So I Decided to Snap Some Pics of Her to Post on the Site as Punishment for Her Being So Rude to Me….I just made you famous bitch….

Posted in:Chachi|Drunk|Party|stepLIVIN'|stepTV|Steve Aoki|Tits|Unsorted

2007

06

Jun

I am – Pink Shirt Wearing Homeless Man Begging for Change of the Day

I am feeling uninspired today and I am not sure why. I heard some sad news about a fatal car accident involving someone I have known for years and a family member was lost. It really breaks my heart even though I am not close to the family. It’s one of those things that reminds us all that it’s important to be safe when you can and to try to enjoy everyday because you just never know. It is also important to put petty arguments aside and try to accept those around you for who they are and realize that we are all different, because the last thing you want is to get that dreaded life changing phone call and feel regrets about how you lived and the relationship you had.

I know that this is a horrible loss for this family and there’s nothing much an outsider like me can do or say, all the cliche and awkward things a person does say may not change the way the family feels but I am thinking about them and hoping for the best.

I know that I would be destroyed if some of the people in my life were lost and I have lost people who have been very close to me in the past and it’s always a fucking struggle. I am sure that some of you have lost people you care about and feel what I am saying. It’s hard to go on thinking things will ever go back to normal but time does heal.

So have fun, smile, take care of yourself and remember to appreciate the time you have and the people you know and love, because even as a cynic who makes fun of things everyday, even I know the importance of life.

This is a video of a drug addict lookin’ motherfucker begging for change in a pink shirt. Just to remind us that even a drug addicted homeless lookin’ motherfucker can rock the color pink like a chachi and have a little dance in his step shows us all that even though life has kinda kicked him in the ass. This may not be as cutting a post as you’re used to, but I feel sad and this is what happens when I feel sad. Love.

Posted in:Homeless|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

05

Jun

I am – Homeless Man Showing His Photo Album of the Day

I spent way too much time on this fucking video that I know no one will watch. I am not very tech savvy and I couldn’t figure out how to export it. I was on the internet pretty much all day and I didn’t update my site because I was stuck doing this. You may think it’s useless but it brings a smile to my face and I guess that’s all that matters.

The story behind this is I was walking down the street and saw a crowd of people. There was some weird African lookin’ dude with some rain stick showing off a photo album to the crowd. They were pictures of him on his journeys and he was telling the stories about each picture. There were pictures of him with politicians, pictures of him with celebrities, pictures of him with the cops. It was all really strange but it wasn’t strange enough to be a daydream. I still felt compelled to show you that even homeless lookin’ motherfuckers have history too. There may be nothing funny about this post, it doesn’t always have to be funny. Asshole.

Posted in:Homeless|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

04

Jun

I am – Big Breasted Whores of the Day

I am not sure how legal it is to videotape girls walking by you then putting it on the internet but I really have no choice with this one. We were watching these girls at a bar get chatted up by a lot of married “business men” who were probably in town looking for a “good time”. We got stuck in the elevator with them at the end of the night where they made some funny sex jokes and my friend thought they had a great personality, the kind of chick you’d want to marry. I was too busy looking at their insane bodies. They got off on the 7th floor with a group of dudes who were also in the elevator and who probably didn’t know what they were getting themselves into, but when a girl like this follows you back to your hotel room, you can’t be sending them home, if you know what I mean.

For the record I am not implying that they are anything but girls out to have a good time and if I was capable of it, they are the kind of girls I’d want to have a good time with…but when I was on the market, I usually got stuck with the lower grade meat you find on the street shaking and ratty and lookin’ for a dollar

The whole time I was watching them stand there and rub their tits and make rude jokes I thought I was day dreaming….it had to be a dream, but I was drunk and had this video to remind me they actually existed. Montreal is known for the hot girls, you should come visit. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepTV|Tits|Unsorted